Chapter Five
Halloween
Aradia walked home, her feet sore from walking bare on the pavement as her heels clinked against each other while she carried them. After a while, the tears dried from her cheeks and all she felt was the cold air around her shoulders. There was no more room for sadness. She couldn't bear the emotional pain anymore. Would it be better to simply feel nothing at all?
She slipped her house key into the front lock and gently pushed the door open, being careful not to wake Hana or her father as she crept into her room and collapsed on the bed. She felt one tear roll down her cheek as she stared at the ceiling.
"Mom… I miss you," she said to nobody. "I miss you and I need you… I don't like what's happening right now. I don't like this new sister, I don't like not having you here, and I don't like growing up without- without my mother!" She started freely crying again, sobs convulsing in her chest. She curled up into herself, burying herself in blankets and crying herself to sleep without even changing out of her dress.
When Aradia woke up the next morning, her heart was filled with numbness. She put on some old pajamas just to spend the day at home, and checked her cell phone briefly. It was flooded with text messages from her friends, most notably Sollux, Feferi, and Tavros, though there were even a few from Terezi. Aradia sighed, choosing to not even read them. There was no point in reliving the events of Homecoming, or at least, the bad moments. Because most of the night was insanely fun, but not quite what she had hoped. There was no point in feeling sad anymore, not in Aradia's mind. She was tired of opening herself up to so much hurt. Light had barely begun peeking in through her window, and it suited her mood. The sting in her cheek had turned to numbness, and it was all she could feel: numb.
Aradia didn't leave her room that day. She spent the Sunday in her pajamas, marathoning through one of her favorite shows: Friends. But the usual warmth and happiness it gave her wasn't there. Her father came up a couple times, to make sure she was okay, but Aradia never went to the door for him. She said she was fine, and he said fine, and that was that.
Aradia maintained this silence through school the next day. Several people asked her what happened at homecoming, and the response was always, "Nothing. I just needed to go home earlier than I thought." At lunch, she sat away from everyone else, not really eating anything, but just picking at her food. There were a few moments in which she glanced up at the table all her friends were sitting at, and occasionally saw Sollux looking at her from afar. He never once approached, though, and Aradia found herself wondering what he thought of her. She'd never wanted to embarrass him, and felt a twinge of shame as she thought about how he must have looked, standing there with his date having just run out on him. How awful that must have felt. But then Sollux would look away, and Aradia felt as awful as he must have. She'd embarrassed him and blown her only chance, and she felt so incredibly foolish. But the more she thought about it, the less she felt bad. It wouldn't matter, in the long run. Damara was the one who'd caused the whole thing, and Aradia could guarantee her stepsister felt no guilt whatsoever.
After lunch, Aradia made her way to gym class. As she stood changing out at her locker, she spotted Nepeta peering around the corner at her. A curious eyebrow shot up from the small girl, but Aradia just kept to herself.
"Hey Aradia," Nepeta said, nearly purring as she did so. Aradia turned towards her. "You weren't at lunch today."
"How kind of you to notice," Aradia muttered, pulling her gym shirt on.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes, Nep, everything is fine. I'm having a rough time at home lately."
"Oh nooo, Aradia, that's no good! Do you need someone to talk to?"
"No, it's fine. I'm fine. Besides, don't you think this is kind of a strange place to talk about my mental welfare?"
"Well, I just wanted to check on you," Nepeta said with a toothy smile.
"Why?" Aradia asked, her voice deadpan.
"Beclaws you're my friend, silly!" Aradia rolled her eyes. She didn't understand the whole cat pun thing, though Nepeta tended to do it frequently. "And Equius asked me to, heehee."
"Oh."
Nepeta grew quiet for a moment before raising her olive green eyes back to Aradia. "Um, Tavros told me in Geometry class this morning he was thinking about throwing a Halloween party, or a get-together or something… and we talked about it at lunch and uhm, he asked me to mention it to you."
Aradia met Nepeta's nervous glance. "That might be nice," she murmured.
"So… you'll go?"
Aradia shrugged. "Halloween's a few weeks away."
"Aradia, it's next Saturday."
"Oh."
The two girls studied each other for several quiet minutes, until they were ushered out of the locker room by Ms. Mendicant to do their stretches for the morning. P.E. wasn't a horrible class, but Aradia certainly didn't enjoy it. For one, they were all assigned numbers based on their last name, so Aradia was separated from the only two people in the class she knew very well. Equius was at the back of the class and Nepeta was a few rows back, leaving Aradia surrounded by mostly idiot boys who found it acceptable to harass her because she wasn't the skinniest of girls. But it didn't bother her very much that day, or any of the days for the rest of the week. In fact, Aradia shut most of the days out, until the Saturday morning she realized it was Halloween.
She'd promised Tavros she would go over early and help him set up things for the party, so she threw her costume from the year before into a bag, along with sleep-over essentials, and got a ride from her dad. It wasn't a long drive. The Nitrams only lived a few streets down, actually, but Daniel usually offered a ride anyway, even more so if he wanted to talk to Aradia. Today was one of those days. He let out a heavy sigh as they pulled up outside Tavros's house. Aradia looked over at him.
"…Dad?"
"Aradia, you know I love you, right?"
"Of course I know that."
"You know you can come to me about anything, right?"
"Um, yeah…"
There was a pause. Daniel sighed again.
"Do I tell you that enough?" Aradia faltered as her father continued to speak. "I'm sorry, I just… I'm worried about ya, kid. You ain't been yourself lately. Good to see ya gettin' out more."
"Dad, don't be sorry. It's just been… hard."
"I know it ain't easy, hon. But you shouldn't be afraid to come talk to your old man, alright?"
"Alright," Aradia answered, with the smallest glimpse of a smile.
"Alright. Now have a good time tonight, kiddo."
Aradia slung her bag over her shoulder and walked up to Tavros's door, knocking to the rhythm of Shave and a Haircut. After a few moments and the slight squeak of wheels stopping near the door, Tavros knocked back Two Bits before swinging the door open to let Aradia in.
"Hey Tav," Aradia said, crossing the threshold.
"Hi, Aradia," Tavros answered, smiling. "You seem, um, better."
"I'm okay."
"Thanks for helping me set everything up."
"No problem," Aradia said as the two of them moved into the kitchen, where tons of unopened bags of snacks and candy lay among several various sized bowls all strewn across the counter and tables. Aradia glanced around at the sheer amount of food. "Did, ah, Rufioh help you find everything?" she asked, muffling a snicker.
"What's so funny?" Tavros asked, his voice raising to an unusually indignant level.
"It's just a lot of food, Tav. How many people are there supposed to be coming tonight?"
"Um, like 16? And Rufioh."
"He's not doing anything for Halloween? Weird."
"No, Horuss invited him to do something but he said no."
"Horuss?" Aradia asked.
"Oh, yeah, Horuss. He's Equius's brother. Rufioh used to hang out with him a lot last year, but he hasn't been as much lately."
"Weird."
The two of them began setting up for the party, Aradia handling the decorations while Tavros dealt with the snacks and began moving on to set up some games.
"So what's your deal with Sollux?" Tavros asked. Aradia faltered, nearly dropping the ribbon in her hand.
"What deal?"
"You guys went to Homecoming together. I thought something was, um, happening between you two. In a, um, romantic way, I mean."
Aradia rolled her eyes, though she was still facing the wall, so Tavros didn't catch it. "I didn't think of you as a gossip, Tav."
Tavros giggled. "It's not that. I was just wondering because I'm having my own girl problems."
"What, Vriska?"
"Well, yeah, but, uhm, Jade also. I asked her to Homecoming but I don't think she thought of it as a date type thing, and she, um, invited all her other friends. And then, uh, I tried to tell her I liked her, um, on Pesterchum the other day."
"What did she say?"
"That it was flattering, I guess, but she didn't really think of me that way? She said, 'we don't really know each other that well, and it's kind of coming out of nowhere', so, yeah."
"Okay, well, she's not interested, then."
"That's it?"
"Mhm," Aradia murmured, turning around to face Tavros. He had a look on his face like that of a wounded puppy. He shook it off and met Aradia's eyes again.
"Okay," he murmured. "Anyway… people should be here soon. I'm going to go get my costume on. Uh, you can change in the bathroom if you want."
Aradia nodded, then took her bag into the bathroom.
She studied herself in the mirror. The costume was from the year before, and it fit her a bit tighter than it used to. Still, once the fedora was placed atop her head, she felt a surge of happiness. Indiana Jones was back in action! Aradia paced back into the kitchen, grazing on the various snacks as she waited for the sound of Tavros coming down his ramp. Eventually he joined her in the kitchen, dressed as Peter Pan. They started some music, the first song being Spooky Scary Skeletons, and Aradia bounced to the music. There was something about skeletons that appealed to her, and she began to dance to the rhythm, laughing as she spun Tavros's chair in a circle. He laughed, too, and looked at Aradia.
"I'm glad you're having a good time!" he said. Aradia grinned back.
"I feel really good right now," she said. And it was true. It was well known among their circle that Halloween was Aradia's favorite holiday, but she hardly expected to feel this great. Aradia pondered it. Maybe isolating herself from her friends hadn't been the smartest move. They cheered her up, which was something that she'd needed lately, but deprived herself of.
The doorbell rang, and Aradia turned the music down to a level more akin to background noise while Tavros wheeled himself into the other room to answer. In came Vriska and Terezi, Vriska dressed as a pirate and Terezi donning a cop costume. For the next half an hour, a steady stream of people came in and the music was turned back up, the Nitram living room slowly turning into a dance floor. Eventually, pizzas were ordered. A handful of people moved outside and bobbed for apples, until it got too dark. Aradia mostly stayed inside, and when she got tired of dancing, she plopped onto Tavros's couch, a glass of lemonade in her hand, and Sollux on the other couch. After a few moments, he stood up and walked away. Aradia sighed. Maybe he was avoiding her.
Suddenly the music was gone, Vriska's hand at the volume dial. "Hey losers! Come on, we're starting another game in here." Slowly, people began gravitating towards her, and shuffling into the other room. Aradia shrugged and followed suit, though she wasn't sure she really wanted to be a part of a game Vriska was organizing. As it turned out, that instinct was right, as Vriska was insisting they play '7 Minutes in Heaven'.
"Vriska, please, this is so ridiculous," Sollux spoke up. "Besides, what the fuck has this got to do with Halloween?"
"Shut your lispy mouth, asshat," Vriska snapped back at him. "You don't have to play, but there's always the chance for some alone time with the freaky girl of your dreams," she pointedly tilted her head towards Aradia. Sollux met Aradia's eyes for a split second, then darted back down to the carpet. "I have taken the liberty of putting all the lady's names into this hat, and all the boys into Terezi's," Vriska said. "Tavros, if you would do the honors?" She tilted her pirate hat down for Tavros to reach his hand in. He cleared his throat before reading it off.
"Um, Aradia…?" his voice raised as though he were asking a question. Aradia's eyes widened as Vriska's hand came to her shoulder, ushering her into the closet.
"Wait, what?"
"Don't worry, Miss Megido, your man will be joining you shortly." With a short, sharp laugh, Vriska shut the closet door behind Aradia, who was surrounded by darkness except for a small sliver under the door. A few silent moments passed, Aradia leaning back on the wall, before the door was thrust open again and another body entered the area. She'd only caught a glimpse of his face before all light was removed again, but Aradia knew it was Equius. She didn't say anything, and neither did he. The silence between them was deafening, and eventually, Aradia spoke.
"I had, uhm, a good time dancing with you at Homecoming," she muttered. Equius made a muffled sort of grunting sound as he shuffled in place.
"Yes, it was quite nice. You looked… beautiful that night," he said, moving a bit closer. Aradia blushed.
"Really?"
"Yes, I was surprised that Mr. Captor did not wish to dance with you more." His hands came to her waist. Aradia looked up at him, surprised.
"Did he say something to you?"
"Not exactly, but I don't believe he appreciates you as much as he should."
Aradia looked down, trying not to let Equius's words sting. He brought a finger to her chin, bringing her gaze to his, leaning in and kissing her.
Aradia began to pull away, but Equius's lips were surprisingly gentle, and she accepted what was happening, even falling into the kiss a bit, though her eyes never quite fluttered close, and it never quite felt like how she imagined a first kiss. Equius pulled away.
"Miss Megido, I would be honored if you would accompany me on a date."
"I- what?"
