Chapter Seven
Damara
Damara Megido hated nearly everything and everyone involved in her life. She hated her house, having been exiled to the basement, though it did make a good place to hide and smoke. She pretty much hated her stepdad, Daniel Droog. They didn't need him to make things okay for them. They would have been fine. She hated school, and when she dropped out, she hated the shitty job she was forced to get, working in a sushi restaurant. She hated most of her friends, Meenah Peixes especially and she loathed Horuss Zahhak. Meulin and Kurloz were fine sometimes, and that was only because the three of them would sit in the basement smoking weed together. Damara didn't hate Rufioh, even if she thought she should, and contrary to whatever her stepsister thought, Damara didn't hate Aradia. If anything, she sympathized with Aradia; saw something of herself in the girl.
It was the innocence, the desire to believe in basic good inside everyone. Damara didn't have that anymore. It had been taken from her, not long ago, by that cheating asshole Rufioh. She'd been aware they were growing away from each other; his being distant in those last few months wasn't very subtle. So why couldn't he just have broken up with her instead of… Damara slammed her English Learner's book shut, throwing it across the room. She tried not to think about him anymore, or at least, not their past. She still called him a friend.
Jesus fuck she needed a smoke. Damara cracked open the small window above her bed and lit a cigarette. Nicotine was the fucking worst. She'd only started smoking cigarettes to show up that wuss Ampora. Weed was more her tune. Never anything more than that. Damara wasn't a fucking idiot. She took another puff, but was forced to put the cigarette out and wave the smoke out the window as footsteps came down the stairs. She expected it to be her mother, or possibly Daniel, but instead, Aradia appeared on the bottom step. Damara raised an eyebrow.
"What…" she paused as she spoke, slowing her usual speech into mostly coherent English. "What are you do… here?"
"Nothing. I just got back from Tavros's place and uh… yeah. Rufioh said 'hey'."
"'Hey' to me?"
"Mhm."
"Why?"
"He said you guys were still friends. Do you… not see him as a friend anymore?"
"No, I see Rufioh as friend. Just… surprised he say same about me… after I punch his stupid boyfriend in his smiley horse face. My friends… they do not think very nice about me. They think I like to hurt them. But I hurted first. Rufioh, he cheat on me and break my heart, yet think I will help him fix things with asshole he leave me for. Meenah tease and pick on me… nothing go right for such long time… so I stop being nice to them. Stop faking it for them. I do what I like to do. Smoking make me feel better, sex make me feel wanted. And I get bad reputation for this, but who cares? Let them think what they want. I am happy with myself."
"Well if you're happy with yourself I guess that's all that matters," Aradia shrugged. "I can respect that, Damara."
Damara shot her stepsister a wicked smile. "I don't think self-hate good for anyone. Hate others, hate your old self, sure. But not you now."
Aradia's eyes were big and wide, a question perched in the back of her throat. "Damara?" The older girl made a grunt of acknowledgement, her gaze drifting out the window. "Why are you opening up to me?"
Damara's smile vanished, her eyes now as wide and sad as Aradia's. "We are like sisters now. Must care about each other, even when driving crazy." Aradia looked down at the floor. "You are like younger me. I hate younger me, too many mistakes made. I do not want to see you make same mistakes. But I do not hate you. Could not hate you. I see you being so sad, now, since Homecoming. I give apology for Homecoming, but do not be with a Zahhak. They… no good…" Damara's voice trailed. "Why not be with Captor? I see you smile with Captor."
Aradia sighed. "I only wish it were that easy," she murmured, plopping down on Damara's mattress. "I don't think Sollux wants anything to do with me anymore. Equius already asked me out… I'm pretty sure he thinks I said yes. It's pretty useless to tell him no at this point."
"You cannot let him control you." Damara's voice was loud, commanding, but Aradia just swung her head down and studied the stains on the cold basement floor. "If you do not like Zahhak you must tell him."
"I guess."
Damara huffed, somewhat glaring at Aradia.
"By the way, Damz, your English is getting pretty good."
Aradia traipsed back upstairs, looking a tad more cheerful while Damara flopped onto her bed, reaching for another cigarette and her phone, both of which sat on the small nightstand. As she flicked her lighter on, a buzz came from her phone. Pesterchum.
amiableTorchbearer began trolling aiboAbunai [AA]
AT: hey doll
AT: haven't seen you in a while
AT: you drop out of school or something?
AA: yes
AA: i got new job instead
AT: aw, thats a damn shame
AA: aradia tell me you two talk at party
AT: just giving her some friendly advice
AA: because you great at relationships right?
AT: now don't be like that, damz
AA: can i ask
AA: why you are bothering me
AT: eheh
AT: yeah
AT: need some help
AA: is it horuss help
AT: yeah
AT: i just
AT: hes so overbearing and clingy sometimes
AT: i used to be really happy with him
AT: and now i'm kind of
AT: not
AT: i dunno how to tell him
AT: and i hesitate to even end it because like
AT: i'm not out yet
AT: and i don't want my parents to be all like "well you've never been with a guy so how could you even know youre bi?"
AT: that bullshit
AA: rufioh i will say
AA: do not do to him what you did to me
AT: what do you mean
AA: you were not happy with me anymore
AA: but also scared of saying bye
AA: instead you go behind my back
AA: cheat on me
AA: hurt so much worse than being dumped
AA: if horuss does not make you happy
AA: he deserves to be told
AA: do not string him along
AA: be honest
AA: with him and your parents
AA: mostly yourself
AT: dang doll
AT: when did you get so smart
AA: learned the hard way
AT: hey damz
AA: what
AT: you're not angry with me for all that happened, are you?
AA: no
AA: not anymore
AA: moved on
AT: really?
AA: yes
AA: you are a friend to me
AA: i wish for your happiness
AA: just sorry i couldn't be that for you.
After that, Damara shut her phone off. There was only so much reminiscing she could take in one night. She took a long drag from the cigarette perched between her lithe fingers and fell back onto her bed, fighting back tears. How did it come to this?
It began at a very young age for her. Damara had never known her father, and apart from her mother shouting Japanese curses into the phone late at night, most common being 'kuso yarō'. Damara was pretty oblivious, as most young kids were, to the struggle Hana had raising her, but as she grew, it was more and more painfully obvious how difficult it was to make ends meet for the two of them. It got to the point that, when Damara was 8, they had to move to a much smaller apartment.
In the deepest realm of her memories, she remembered a late night phone call from her mother's mysterious, over-seas boss. They moved again not long after, not simply across the city, but across the ocean. A new life began for the two of them in America. Hana began slowly learning English, and Damara began to understand new words. She was put in the ELL classes in school, and accelerated much slower than the other kids.
She was shy. Awfully, terribly shy. None of the other students at recess would talk to her, referring to her as 'that weird Japanese transfer kid'. But it changed when Rufioh came along. He, apparently, watched so much anime and become so infatuated with it that he took it upon himself at a young age to learn Japanese so he could watch without subtitles. He was the first friend Damara made, and the only person other than her mother that she really communicated effectively with. She was eventually integrated with Rufioh's friends, but she never opened up much to them. Years passed before the gang was in high school, and over those years, Damara's friendship with Rufioh grew into best friendship, and then more-than-friendship, and then girlfriend and boyfriendship. And then… they weren't anything.
Damara clenched a fist, balling up her blanket and furiously pushing back tears. She refused to cry for him anymore. It wasn't worth it.
A few days later, Damara was working a closing shift at Sushi Planet. Ugh, of course this place hired her. And then, along with her mother and stepfather, insisted she learn at least enough English to communicate with the patrons. She supposed that wasn't really a bad thing. At the very least, maybe she and Aradia might even start to get along. That was, if Aradia actually took some of the advice Damara had to give- which apparently she did not if she was at the sushi place with EQUIUS! Damara's tray faltered in her hand as she bore her eyes into the back of Aradia's head. Every muscle in her body froze, leaving her stiff in her place, only shaken out of it by a disturbance from the customer whose table she was standing by. She slid his plate onto the table rather loudly, stared at her stepsister again, then turned and walked back into the kitchen. It was a slow night, so there weren't many tables to wait on. Damara tapped furiously on her phone, looking for some way to relieve her tension.
There he was. Cronus Ampora.
Tires screeched in the road. Damara slammed her car door shut and skulked up to the front door. The Ampora home was arguably a mansion, and its large walls loomed over the small girl as she pounded on the door. Footsteps came from the floor above, quick and heavy, and in a moment Cronus was at the door.
"How ya doin, sweetheart?" he said, waggling his eyebrows a bit.
"Shitty. Let me in."
"Whoa, whoa, what's the rush, hon? Don'chu wanna make tonight last?"
"Not really."
"Alright then…" Cronus murmured, moving out of the doorframe as Damara shoved past him. His eyes gazed a bit south of her skirt hem as she walked into the living room, Cronus trailing after her.
It started innocent enough. Cronus, who Damara guessed was unfamiliar with intimacy, as it was obvious he wasn't sure how things should begin, turned on the television and found an innocuous movie that they didn't need to pay attention to and wrapped an arm around Damara's shoulder. She leaned in a bit, but cuddling was not what she was particularly interested in. At least, not with Cronus. His hands brushed along her neck, persuading her face to turn his way. Before Damara could properly react, his lips were on hers. He tasted like cologne and ash. Smoking was something the two had in common, but Damara couldn't help but wonder if he could taste the cigarettes and weed on her lips. Cronus pulled Damara on top of him, as the kissing grew more intense.
"We're lucky my dad an' Eri are out for the night," Cronus grunted. Damara murmured in agreement before slipping her tongue back into Cronus's mouth.
Cronus pulled Damara closer in, hand tangled in her thick hair, until they couldn't get any closer. Damara's hands slid up Cronus's shirt, and Cronus's fingers lingered under the hem of Damara's skirt. Teeth and tongues clashed and fingers began their work. Damara's clothes came off first, but she also tugged off Cronus's shirt before teasing his hard-on. Her hand slid under the waistline of his jeans, antagonizing Cronus until he couldn't stand it anymore. She grinned as he flushed bright red.
"Ah, just fuck me, alright, I can't-" Cronus murmured. Damara wordlessly unbuttoned his pants and slid his boxers down before straddling him.
Cronus Ampora and Damara Megido sat on the couch in the aftermath of their heated sex. Cronus wore a satisfied grin while Damara glanced around at her clothes strewn about, looking at her naked self, and back to Cronus. He'd since pulled his pants back up a tad, but they remained unbuttoned and he hadn't bothered with his shirt yet. As Damara gathered her clothes and began to put herself back together, Cronus stood from the couch, finishing getting dressed, and paced into the kitchen.
"Hey doll, you need a smoke?" he asked, still bearing his wide, satisfied grin. Damara looked up, wide-eyed and face flush.
"N-no, I… go now…"
Damara sat in the car, still parked outside Cronus's house. She looked at herself in the mirror, hair all displaced and makeup a mess. The entire time she drove home, and when she tried to fall asleep, one thing kept running through her head.
"What the hell did I do that for…?"
