WE ARE SOOOOO SORRY!!! I'm serious you guys, we didn't intent to take this long to update. You see, Just Bob went back to university a few months back, so basically the only way we've been able to write together is over the phone, once a week. Then I have to type it up and email it to Just Bob for a spelling and grammar check. I'm really, really sorry. We'd love to say thank you, though, to all the great reviews we've had. Keep it up so we know what you think of this.

Lady Lanet: Yes, it is funny isn't it? Hehe. Hope you laugh as much at this chappy.

A Darker Side of Light: Confusing in a good or bad way? Like the new word. There'll be more Boromir in this chapter and we'll hear from Faramir in a future chapter. Enjoy Boromir and we'll remember to SCREW ROHAN.... except not in THAT way!!!!

SwordSwallower17: Thank you. Enjoy.

Disclaimer- I own the rights to all the characters in 'Lord of the Rings', expect for: Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Boromir, Merry, Pippin, Arwen, Elrond, Glorfindel, Morpheus, Eowyn, Peter Parker, Galadriel, Celeborn, Alan Partridge, Erestor, George Bush (what? He's not fictional?), Biffur, Boffur, Buffy, Bombur, Beor, Bregolas, Elladan, Elrohir, Belegund, Baragund and Barrister, Elwing, X-wing, Goldwing, Wing Zero, Heero, Gondor, Gundor, Gundam, Galdor (don't you think it should end soon), Tuor, Troy, Turin, Milan, Mulan, Mordor, Morrrrrrdor, Nazgul, Uruk-Hai, Suruman, Gollum, Treebread, Blue Beard, Jack Sparrow, Shelob and a few others we may have forgotten to mention.

Chapter 3- Athelas is Not the Only Fruit.

We couldn't be bothered to write a boring, lengthy set of farewells, so there were none. Before anyone realised that they had left, the Fellowship were miles away.

We rejoin them that afternoon, when they were several days journey away from Rivendell. They journeyed east, through the foothills towards the Misty Mountains, hoping to reach them before nightfall. They did consider passing through Moria, but Gandalf still felt uneasy about the place, and nobody was stupid enough to disagree with him this time.

They arrived at the entrance to the pass at sunset and Gaurbrith looked nervously at the narrow, darkening path ahead of them.

"Would it not be a good idea to camp here and ascend into the mountains with the sun upon us?"

"Nah, we can go further in darkness," replied Legolas.

"But I hear there are monsters in these mountains."

"Nothing really bad ever happens to us," Merry said.

"Speak for yourself," muttered Boromir.

They trekked on until the sides of the valley rose high on either side of them, the kind of terrain prefect for ambushes. At this point they set up camp.

When they were sitting by the fire, Gandalf stood up and said, "I must leave. I have pressing matters to attend to, matters that are more important and less dangerous. Don't worry, though; I'll be gone just long enough for you to miss me. Aragorn is in charge," and with that he rose and was quickly lost from sight.

"Hold on, I want to be in charge for once. Why is Aragorn always the leader?" protested Frodo.

Sam rushed to back his master up. "Aye, that's roight! What qualifications does Mr. Strider have?"

King Aragorn polished his crown. "Okay," he said, once he felt that his point had been made. "We'll take a vote on it. How many people think that Frodo should be the leader?" The hands of the four hobbits shot up. Pippin raised both of his hands in the hopes of getting two votes. "And who thinks I, King of Gondor, leader of the last Fellowship-"

"Wasn't that the one that collapsed after a couple of weeks under your leadership?" interrupted Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion.

Aragorn bristled "T'was Boromir's fault."

"What can I say; I'm a weak man," shrugged Boromir.

Let's not dwell on the past. Votes for me, raise your hands." Everyone put up their hand, apart from Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion, who felt it below him.

Frodo stomped off, muttering darkly. "Darkly," he muttered, "Darkly, darkly."

Aragorn stood up and started giving orders. "I want me, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir and Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion to separate, spread out and forage for food. That will leave the hobbits and Gaurbrith alone around the beacon, sorry, I meant campfire."

"Let's have a sing-along so we can be heard for miles around," said Pippin.

"Oh dear," said Gaurbrith.

Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion was foraging for food under the nearby cliffs, when he heard the enthusiastic singing turn suddenly into even more enthusiastic yelps of terror. He was considering the best course of action (to rescue or not to rescue) when Aragorn rushed past, sword in hand, yelling "I'll save you!" Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion would have shrugged, if he had not felt it below him, and he set off back to the camp at a relaxed pace. By the time he arrived at the campsite, the battle was in full swing.

The hobbits were in the thick of things, charmingly enthusiastic but not, to be honest, very useful.

Boromir was in fine form after finally learning that arrows are best avoided. His sword sang as he cut down the fowl orcish fiends. Gimli hacked legs with ease, forming one point of a deadly triangle with Legolas and Aragorn on either side. Legolas fired his Lothlorien arrows with deadly aim. Gaurbrith crouched in the centre of this triangle looking particularly smug that he'd found a safe spot.

Seeing that everything was in order, so to speak, Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion ambled around the edge of the melee, picking off, with elven grace, any fiend who dared to approach him. It was going rather well, all considered, when the inevitable happened.

Boromir stumbled back, staring at the arrow protruding from his chest. "Bloody hell, not again!" he said in disbelief, before striding back into the fray. Gimli felled the archer with a hefty blow from his axe. The battle finished quickly after that, and Aragorn quickly gathered the group together.

"We are most fortunate to come out relatively unharmed," he commented, tending to a sting on Sam's ankle, received from a stinging nettle.

"Uh, erm," coughed Boromir.

"Aragorn, I believe Boromir is trying to get your attention," said Frodo with a 'companionable' arm around Sam as he dealt with the pain.

Boromir waved their concerns away. "No, not at all, I was just coughing because my lungs are filling with blood. His Majesty can come to me in his own time."

"Was that sarcasm or not?" Gaurbrith asked Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion with bemusement.

"Do you know, I actually think it was not," said Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion, equally confused.

Legolas stepped forward. "Here, allow me to assist you, Boromir." Legolas grabbed the arrow and tugged. "Hang on, this is really stuck. Let me get a better grip." Sweeping his hair to one side in slow motion, he took a firm grip with both hands on the black shaft of the arrow. He tugged yet again, harder this time, with Boromir pulling backwards and wincing. Still the arrow remained stuck fast between his ribs.

"Hang on, I have an idea. Boromir, kneel down." Boromir did as he was bidden, lowering himself to one knee. Legolas placed one foot on his chest. "I need something to brace against," he explained. Legolas gave a powerful heave and the arrow finally came loose, rather more quickly than he had expected. He tumbled backwards, straight onto an awaiting dagger.

"So much for elven grace," smirked Gimli.

Everyone gathered around the prone Legolas, the dark blade protruding from his shoulder. To add insult to injury, Boromir coughed, spraying Legolas with droplets of blood. Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion turned on him.

"How could you? First you cause this injury by allowing yourself to get shot, and now you mar his elven beauty with your lowly human blood. Is nothing sacred!?"

Aragorn sprang into action. Turning to Merry, he said, "Legolas needs treatment. Go and gather as much Athelas as you can find." Merry scuttled off.

Boromir coughed again.

"Pippin, go gather some Athelas for Boromir's cough."

"Mr. Strider, sir, my ankle is still stinging."

Aragorn thought for a moment. What you need is some Athelas to rub on it."

Merry and Pippin soon returned, arms full with Kings' Foil. Aragorn handed a sheaf to Boromir. "Chew one of these three times a day and that sore throat will clear right up."

Boromir shrugged and went off to bleed in peace.

Aragorn turned his attention to his 'soul brother', Legolas. He instructed Gaurbrith to boil some water and bring it to him. He infused it with Athelas leaves and, tearing off a strip of his cloak, he soaked it in the infusion and applied it to Legolas' wound.

"Aragorn, we do have proper bandages," said Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion. However, this was lost on Aragorn, who was concentrating on his patient. All his efforts seemed to be in vain, as Legolas was now in a high fever. Gimli kneeled by his side, dabbing his forehead with the boiling Athelas water, as Aragorn had instructed him. He muttered words of reassurance; he was not about to be out-done by Aragorn. Legolas, however, appeared to be delirious, muttering about his forehead being on fire. Aragorn decided it was time for drastic measures.

"Gaurbrith, add Athelas to this infusion."

"So that's Athelas, added to Athelas," said Gaurbrith sceptically.

"And water," added Aragorn.

"So that's Athelas, Athelas . . . and water." Lord Kanolhachkirraukoturgilarsergedhelthalion concluded.

"The prefect combination!"

Gaurbrith held his head in both hands.

"You look like you have a headache," observed Aragorn. "Would you like some Athelas for that?" Gaurbrith wandered off, shaking his head.

As his friend, Frodo felt it was his duty' to intervene. "Aragorn, you do realise there are other herbs, besides Athelas?"

Aragorn looked at Frodo blankly. Frodo tried again. "Not all ailments can be cured with Athelas. There are other treatments."

"Surely, you jest! Athelas has served me well in the wilderness for many years. No other plant has its healing properties."

"No, I'm telling you Aragorn-" but they were interrupted by Legolas.

"My friends, I fear my time in Middle Earth draws to a close."

Gimli retorted quickly. "Nah, laddie, you've got centuries of life in you. Once we have finished on this quest, you must come with me to see the great caves of the dwarves. You will marvel at the halls my kin have built, and see that great craftsmanship did not end with the great elves of yore. Surely, that is something worth surviving for." A tear trickled down Gimli's cheek. "Our friendship is far too strong to be beaten by mere death; it shines more brightly then the most wondrous gems cut by my kin. You must survive, Legolas; if not for yourself, then for me."

Legolas smiled weakly. "Thank you, Gimli, that was very cheesy."

"So let me get this straight," Aragorn was saying. "There are herbs which have healing properties, which are not Athelas?"

"Yes!" said Frodo triumphantly. "That's exactly what I've been trying to tell you."

"No, that doesn't sound right."

Legolas fell into the dark embrace of unconsciousness. Gimli was on the edge of tears. "If that elf dies, it will break my heart."

"Do you know what works real well for a broken heart?" Aragorn asked.

"No," said Gimli, falling straight into the trap.

Aragorn smiled. "Athelas."

End of Chapter 3