Chapter Eleven: Therapy
"Suspended!?" Daniel Droog was not easy to anger, but once he was mad, he was scary. Hana, on the other hand, was calm. She'd been here many times before, and had been hoping not to make a return in Damara's senior year, but here she was.
"Mister Droog, quite frankly you're lucky Aradia isn't getting expelled. She ditched class and assaulted a classmate. She broke Miss Serket's prosthetic arm, gave her too many minor injuries to even count, and caused a scene in front of the entire student body," Principal Snowman stated, very matter-of-factly. She wasn't someone that students considered strict, she was in fact very kind until you wound up in her office, at which point she became very stern and asked you to reflect on why you did what you'd done to be there. Very few students had return visits to Snowman's office. "And as for Damara, she has proven herself to be too much of a problem to continue with Skaia High. I'm afraid I have to recommend Continuation School in the summer if she wants to graduate at all."
"No! I- I sorry, Miss Snowman. I study hard, I be good," Damara begged.
"I'm sorry, Miss Megido, but we had an agreement last time I spoke with you and your mother that there would be no more outbursts, and then you punched Meenah Peixes."
"But she… she speak bad about sister. I do it for sister. No more. Promise."
Snowman scrunched her face. It was clear she wanted better for Damara, but there were obviously limits of what lines could be crossed.
"How about this. I can call Miss Peixes in here, and if you can apologize to her, and promise me no more violence, we can keep you on track to graduate on time. I've been monitoring your progress and since your return, you've been doing much better. But this is the last time I can offer this."
"Yes, I… I can do."
Hana gave Damara a small smile, and a subtle nod that said 'I'm proud of you', and the two left the room, leaving just Aradia, Daniel, and Snowman.
"Now, Aradia, this behavior is so unlike you. Why would you attack Vriska in the way that you did?"
"She's a lying, manipulative brat who abused my emotions," Aradia answered, no hint of remorse in her voice. Daniel was basically snarling with anger at her, and normally she would take the situation more seriously but she was past the point of even caring.
"I see… did you think about it before you chose to go find her, or was it impulsive?"
"I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me."
"Alright… Well, Aradia, since this is your first infraction, I can give you a minor suspension. One week. And no more of this," Snowman said.
"That's fine," Daniel snarled. "Let's go." He pulled Aradia out of the chair by her arm and stormed out of the office. "I don't know what to say to you right now, Aradia. Not only am I furious, I am so god damn disappointed in you."
Aradia ignored her dad as much as she could for the rest of the day, locking herself in her room through dinner. She'd been up there since she got home, and since there had been a lot of loud shouting and a couple of smashed dishes. She figured it would be best to avoid people for a while, and that she'd be grounded and in her room anyway, so may as well make it on her terms.
A few hours went by and Aradia's phone pinged, Pesterchum going off. Sollux, of course. Nobody else seemed to give a damn about her.
twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]
TA: hey, aradia…
TA: remember a while ago, when i told you i was going to therapy?
TA: my appointment is later today, and
TA: i still wanted you to come with me, if you could.
TA: i know you're in a lot of trouble with your dad right now but…
AA: dont worry about it sollux
AA: ill find a way to be there
TA: can i ask you something?
AA: why the hell not
TA: why did you beat the shit out of vriska? i know she's no angel but that was
TA: a lot
AA: she tricked me manipulated a relationship and abused a good friend of mine and it was about time someone made her pay for it
AA: simple as that
TA: jeez
TA: maybe we both need help.
AA: yeah
AA: maybe
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA]
Aradia let out a long groan. Therapy was the last thing she wanted to deal with, but she had promised Sollux weeks ago that she would be there for him, and despite wanting to cut ties with almost everyone, she still craved Sollux's friendship. She longed for the closeness they used to have. In the last few months, they had only grown more distant, and every time he looked away from her left a sting. So she went. She crawled out her window, left through the backyard gate, and walked down to Sollux's house. She supposed it would only cause more problems with her father later, but that didn't matter.
Aradia knocked on Sollux's door, her short hair bristling at her shoulders. When Sollux answered the door, a smile fought its way to the surface of Aradia's face. Sollux, on the other hand, was visibly upset already, and concerned with Aradia's change of appearance. Her muted reds and beiges and greys were replaced with black and harsh blues and reds, a short skirt with rips, a ratty band t-shirt, and knee-high socks. Instead of the quiet, sweet freshman that her wardrobe used to advertise, Aradia now appeared to be the walking embodiment of "too punk rock for you". She cocked her head sideways at Sollux, who was still looking at her oddly.
"I needed a change, Sol. Raided some of Damara's old stuff. She's getting too goody-goody to pull it off anymore anyway."
"Er… it's just… different. Let's go," he murmured, voice morose and dissonant. He and Aradia made their way to the car while Sollux's dads locked the house behind them. Aradia wondered about Simon, but was still pretty off-put by him and didn't think it worth asking.
The car ride was quiet, something clearly on every one of the Captors' minds. Sollux was nervously looking around, every so often bringing his attention away from the window. Aradia didn't want to say anything. There was something odd going on with him. She just bobbed her head to the Panic! At the Disco playing in her head until the car lurched over in a parking lot. Sollux looked up, blinking rapidly.
"Are we here?" he asked, grabbing Barry's shoulder over the seat.
"We're here… don't worry, Sollux. Everything will be fine. We just want you to talk to her."
"Come on, kids," Carl said from outside the car. "This way."
Aradia followed Sollux and his dads up the stairs of the office building, into what to seemed to be a doctor's office. After a long time of waiting, in which time paperwork was being done by Sollux's dads, 'Mr. Captor' was called by an older woman, waiting at the door. She didn't look like a doctor, but Aradia supposed that she wasn't a medical doctor, persay. She didn't stand when Sollux did. Aradia didn't stand until he started walking towards the door, and gave an uneasy look back over his shoulder, and only then did the three make their way down the hall. The woman clutched a clipboard, holding it close to her chest, and she was wearing a light cardigan and jeans with flats. She glanced at Sollux, fumbling with his glasses, and Aradia. Nobody being sure what to make of the situation, all three walked into the office. There was a desk, Aradia supposing that's where she did her paperwork, a couch, chairs, a coffee table, plenty of things to fiddle with; rubix cubes and toys and such- it felt more like she was sitting in someone's home than a doctor's office. The woman sat in a chair across from the couch, flipping through a few papers. Sollux remained standing, holding the bottom hem of his t-shirt, arms locked straight down. The doctor looked up at him.
"You can sit down, I was just going over some… have a seat."
Sollux sat, still quite tense as Aradia crossed in front of him and sat on the other side of the couch.
"Ok. Sollux! Or, do you prefer 'Mr. Captor'?"
"S-Sollux is fine, or- or Sol."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Whitney Queen. You can call me Whitney, or Ms. Queen, or WQ, if you have a penchant for nicknames. And… you brought your…" Whitney's voice trailed off, sounding unsure, though the tone was somewhat insinuating of a relationship.
"Friend! Friend, she's…uh, a… friend," Sollux exclaimed. Aradia sank into her seat a bit.
"Friend," Whitney repeated, glancing at Aradia. "Noted."
"I'm here for moral support," Aradia muttered.
"Right, well that's fine. Now, Sollux. Your fathers have taken care of everything, and I want you to know that I, and any other therapist, work with 100% patient confidentiality. Anything you tell me will not leave this room. It stays within my walls. I'm here to listen and help you, and- miss…?"
"Aradia."
"Yes, Aradia, you're welcome to share with me as well, if there's anything you feel you need to share or just get off your chest."
Aradia nodded at Whitney, but didn't want to detract from Sollux's time with his therapist.
"With all the formalities out of the way, let's get started. Sollux, why don't you tell me how you're feeling?"
"Right now? Eheh… nervous, I guess," Sollux lisped.
"Why do you think that is?"
"Well, I mean… I'm talking to a stranger about my problems… sorry, but I don't really know you. And, to be honest, I'm kind of afraid I'm going to walk out of here with some kind of diagnosis of something. I've been… doing research and am really afraid of what I might find out by being here. I don't… think I'm mentally well."
"What makes you say that?"
"I'm sure this is written in records somewhere but I've been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for… a long time. A few years, at least. And now I've been in, like, these weird mood swings. For huge chunks of time. Like, sometimes I'm fine and I'm normal like now but sometimes I'll be antisocial for weeks at a time and have no motivation to do anything, not even get out of my bed, but I make myself and it drains me out, but other times I have a ton of energy and stay up all night coding, for days at a time… and I don't like what I've read online and I don't want to have to take pills for everything… it's just so frustrating."
"Well, Sollux, you should know that, while I can give you a diagnosis, if you want one, therapists cannot prescribe medicine. You'd need to see a psychiatrist if you gain any desire for any kind of medication. I'm very glad you told me that, though. So, how has this been affecting your behavior at school?"
"I mean, I still go to school and I still do the work, but it's very hard to get through sometimes. When I'm feeling unmotivated, between that and everything I already am self-conscious of, it's like dragging myself through 24 hours worth of a mud pit. Feels terrible."
"What are you self-conscious about?"
"My appearance, mostly. I have heterochromia, and glasses, and braces…"
The next half-hour went on like that. Whitney would ask a question and Sollux would answer, while Aradia sat and listened and was there on behalf of her friend. She perked up at one specific question.
"Sollux, we have about ten minutes left. Would you like a diagnosis, or to talk about that any more at all?"
Sollux hesitated in answering, taking a long breath before saying anything. "Next time. I'm not ready for that can of worms yet."
"That's fair. I'm not here to pressure you into saying anything. Well, we do still have ten minutes. Aradia, anything you'd like to talk about?"
Aradia sat up, a bit caught off-guard that the attention had suddenly shifted to her.
"Yeah, actually, a lot I'd like to talk about, but I don't think we have time for my problems," she responded, absolutely dripping with sarcasm. "For one thing, I just got suspended, therefore grounded, and snuck out of my house to be here."
"I see…" Whitney responded. "What did you get suspended for?"
"Beating the shit out of another girl. But to be fair, she's been screwing with me and my relationships all year."
"How did your parents react?"
"My dad is pissed to high hell, and I don't really care how my stepmom feels. She's no substitute for my mom."
"Mhm… So, why were you so mad at this girl?"
"Basically what happened is she and this other dude tricked me into dating him, knowing full well I had… have… had… romantic feelings for someone else… I wasn't very happy when I was with this guy and it felt very one-sided but I was going through some emotional stuff and couldn't bring myself to break it off, and then I found out Vriska was behind the whole thing and I guess I just lost my cool. Slapped Equius around a little bit too, now that I think of it. And, to make it even better, the guy I did have feelings for is with someone else now. My best friend, actually, but I'm not going to be mad at her. I was… dating someone else when that happened anyway." Aradia finished her monologue with a clearly fake laugh. Sollux was just looking at her. It was the most she'd said to him in months, albeit not directly to him. Whitney was also just looking at her.
"Ah, well, things change very fast in high school. If it bothers you, I would talk to your friend. I know relationships can be hard, I'm very sorry to hear you were manipulated. But-"
"Violence is never the answer, right?"
"Er- yeah. Acting out like that is never going to go well for you, I promise. Don't let your emotions get bottled up. Talk to people."
"Yeah, well I don't necessarily have that outlet. My family sucks."
"Just hang in there. If you ever need to come by with Sollux again, you're more than welcome to."
"Thanks…"
"Of course. But for now, our session is over. Sollux, see you next week?"
Sollux shrugged. "Guess so."
And with that, the kids left. Sollux's dads were in the parking lot, waiting for Sollux and Aradia to come down.
"Aradia… thanks for coming," Sollux murmured.
"Mhm."
"And, by the way, Feferi and I broke up."
