Chapter 2

"Commander, the Inquisitor has entered the gates. She is calling a meeting with the advisors."

"Thank you Corporal," Cullen replied.

He had busied himself in his reports for the day. His mind Had frequently traveled to the Inquisitor's party and toward one Mage in particular in their absence. He found work to be a sufficient distraction from his thoughts. He stood from his desk and braces his arms on his back and stretched. He left his fur coat hanging over his chair and headed down the stairs to the war room.

The first thing he noticed was Dorian's absence from the meeting. Solas and Bull were in attendance, though both looked exhausted. He watched as the Inquisitor bent over the map and pointed to an area. He could see her lips moving but his mind was far away.

"Why isn't Dorian here?" Cullen blurted out.

She looked up at him with a frown. "He was taken to the infirmary when we got back," she said.

"What happened? Is he alright?" Cullen asked suddenly.

"Took a talon to the stomach, but the Tevinter bastard wouldn't die," Bull answered.

Solas rolled his eyes.

"I healed his wounds as much as I could in the field but he needed more care. We returned as soon as we could," Solas commented.

Cullen tried his best to hide the worry that found it's way to his face. The Inquisitor pulled him quietly aside while Bull gave his report to her other advisors.

"Go," she said.

"What?" Cullen asked in a whisper.

"Go see Dorian right now. I can give you a report later."

Was he that obvious? How could the Inquisitor see his emotions? He simply nodded and slipped out of the room and headed outside.

He threw aside the tent of the infirmary and flushed at the sight. A healer was helping Dorian into his jacket. His chest was exposed underneath, and his stomach wrapped in a bandage.

"Cullen!" Dorian exclaimed. He tugged at the sides of his jacket to cover the damage.

Cullen looked angry. "I thought I told you to be careful!" he said in a stern voice.

The healer politely excused herself from the tent, leaving Dorian the Cullen alone.

"I was. I'm still alive, see?" Dorian said placing a hand on his heart. Cullen almost reached out to touch him where his hand was but stopped. What was he doing? Why did Dorian have this effect on him? He knew Dorian flirted with him, but his comments made his stomach flutter. It was just flirting but Cullen realized that he enjoyed it. He must have subconsciously flirted back because Dorian hadn't stopped. Now seeing him with a bandage around his waist, Cullen was sure if he wanted to scold him for not being careful, or kiss him for being alive. Wait kiss? Cullen glanced at Dorian's lips, wondering how they would feel against his own.

"Commander?" Dorian spoke, pulling Cullen out of his thoughts.

"Cullen," he corrected. Dorian cocked an eyebrow at him, not sure what he meant exactly. "We're friends and friends call each other by their name."

Dorian raised both eyebrows at what Cullen had just said and he realized Cullen had never called him Ser Pavus or Mage.

"Cullen," Dorian repeated. "Are you alright?"

Cullen smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. He liked the way Dorian said his name. "It is I who should be asking you that question. What happened?"

"Solas' friend had already become a demon before we arrived. I distracted it while the others worked on taking down the pillars of the ritual. I was running low on mana and it caught me while I was distracted," Dorian exclaimed. "Next thing I know I have a talon piercing through my stomach. If it wasn't for the others taking down the final pillar at that time, I...well let's just say I would not be here now."

Cullen turned his head away at that last bit, grateful he was here now. "Rest well, Dorian," he said pulling the tent flap aside and exiting before Dorian could say more.

Cullen strode purposefully to his room and nocked right into the Inquisitor.

"Inquisitor Lavellan! I'm sorry!" Cullen said, catching her before she fell over.

"It's alright Cullen. I saw you leaving the infirmary and I wanted to make sure everything was alright."

"I'm fine," Cullen said.

She looked up at him. He felt her gaze like she was looking through him and knew he thoughts.

"How could you tell?" he asked.

"You mean in the war room?"

Cullen nodded.

"Dorian is a dear friend and one of the strongest mages I've met. I like to watch my companions and you have been spending a lot of time with him. And he's changed. Around you, he's more open, more himself. I can tell he's happy. And I can see the same coming from you," she said.

"A match made in heaven," Cullen commented.

"Talk to him, Commander."

Cullen nodded. She smiled at him and headed for the door. Then she turned around and waved goodbye, leaving Cullen with his thoughts in his room.

He removed the rest of his armor and walked to his desk in a light open shirt and his breeches.

He glanced down at the small box on his desk and heard the small hum coming from the lyrium inside.

'Not now!' Cullen thought.

The humming grew louder. He clenched his head with his hands and began to pace the room. He could beat this. Cassandra had faith in him.

'Cullen,' the lyrium whispered his name.

'No.'

'You need me Cullen. You're shaking,' the humming said.

Cullen grabbed the side of his desk and fell to his knees. He grabbed the box.

'Cullen.'

He flung it across the room. His door flew open and there Dorian stood as the box hit the wall next to him and fell to pieces on the floor. Dorian looked at the pieces and recognized the lyrium injector.

"Oh Cullen," Dorian said. He dropped to Cullen side on the floor. He put his hand over his chest and felt Cullen's heart beating erratically. "Come with me. I have lyrium supplies in my room," Dorian said standing.

"No," Cullen managed weakly. He grabbed Dorian's arm with his hand to stop him from leaving. "I don't want it."

Dorian remembered Cullen's Templar training. Templars needed lyrium. He remembered the knight commander punishing their Templars by locking them in a cell and taking away their lyrium. They died after a few days of the lyrium withdrawal. It was a cruel punishment. But Cullen didn't want it.

"How long?" Dorian asked.

Dorian shook his head in confusion. "What?"

"How long has it been since you stopped taking lyrium?" Dorian elaborated. He crouched next to Cullen and placed his hand on his chest again. His heart rate hadn't stopped it's crazy beating.

"Since I joined the Inquisition," Cullen said weakly.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Dorian said a little harsher than intended. "I've seen lyrium withdrawal and what it does to Templars."

"Cassandra knows. She has been watching me and will take over command for me when I can't anymore."

"Don't say that! You're stronger than this!"

"Look at me Dorian!"

Dorian was indeed looking at him. He wanted to hold him in his arms and kiss his hair.

"I am unfit to lead even now. Who would follow me in this weak state?" Cullen asked.

"Stand up," Dorian commanded.

"What?" Cullen asked as Dorian stood in front of him offering him both his hands.

"You herd me. Stand up with me," Dorian said.

Cullen took his arms and Dorian hoisted him to his feet. The commander stood at Dorian's same height. Dorian offered Cullen a crooked smile and could see Cullen's eyes light up.

"Feel my heartbeat," Dorian said grasping Cullen's hand and placing it on his chest. He left one of his hands around Cullen's and he reached out to touch Cullen's chest where his heart would be. "Feel your heartbeat. Concentrate and match my rhythm."

Cullen let out a broken sigh. How was his heart supposed to calm down with Dorian here doing this?

Dorian closed his eyes concentrating hard on their beats. He felt Cullen's hand drop from his chest. His fingers wrapped around Dorian's hand still on his chest.

"Do you feel that Dorian?" Cullen asked, his voice husky.

Dorian did notice a change. His beat was steady but fast, almost like a fluttering.

"That is you. You pushed the lyrium out and all that's left is you in my heart," Cullen said.

Dorian's heart kept in his chest.

"Commander, please don't say things like that to me," Dorian pulled his hand away quickly and turned around. Cullen was doing the same thing to his heart. Dorian liked men but Cullen was as straight as a ruler from what he had seen.

"I apologize," Cullen said softly. "And thank you for helping me today. Please keep this matter discreet."

Dorian nodded, taking that this was his cue to leave. "Good evening, Commander," Dorian said exiting.

There it was again. Commander.