Disclaimer: Me no own Pokémon.
A/N Here I am again with another chapter! Thanks to all who read, reviewed, and/or favorited this. You're awesome! Special note to PikaBulbasaur: Just so you know, I haven't forgotten about your suggestion. It's just being really stubborn right now. But I'll get it done!
Anyway, this chapter involves the popular plot where Ash is abandoned by his friends (as suggested by Positive Pessimist). Clichés in this type of story tend to run rampant. It's insane.
Let us begin.
OoOoOoOoO
The Incredible Ash
One fine day, someone committed a crime and everyone thought Ash Ketchem did it. I don't know why, but there must have been A REALLY GOOD REASON! Probably. Oh, and the crime was that somebody, um, killed Professor Oak. Yeah, that'll work.
Anyway, all of Ash's friends thought he did it too, because Ash was mad at Professor Oak because Professor Oak accidentally spilled coffee on Ash and it really hurt. And when Ash's friends found out, the conversation went something like this:
"Oh Ash, why would you do such a thing?" asked Delia Ketchem, who was really sad, because she had always told her son not too retaliate if somebody spilled coffee on him by accident. Oh, and just so y'all know, Ash was in a holding cell at the moment, because the police totally thought he was the killer. It didn't matter that Ash had no criminal record whatsoever, or that getting coffee spilled on you was kind of a stupid reason to kill someone. Poor Ash.
"I told you, Mom, I didn't kill Professor Oak! Why don't you believe me?" asked Brock. Just kidding. Ash said that. This is what Brock said:
Well, he didn't actually say anything. He just glared, which is quite a feat, you know, because his eyes were always closed. But yeah, he glared up a storm.
"We don't believe you because you're a liar and a crook and a lot of other bad things!" yelled Misty, who was travelling through Johto at the time. Just kidding, she was in Kanto with everyone else. Misty isn't THAT loud, silly.
"I just knew you were a bad guy the whole time," said May. "You and your refusal to evolve Pikachu, I knew something was up."
Dawn decided to chip in, too. "Yeah!" After a moment, she said, "Totally!" Dawn wasn't that great with words. Kinda like Ash.
"You're a horrible person who deserves to rot in jail for the rest of your life! I thought you were our friend, but you're just a filthy traitor! You're such a kid!" I bet you can guess who said that. If you can't, I'll give you a tiny little hint. It was Iris.
"Come on guys, why would I do that? You really think I would kill Professor Oak just because he spilled coffee on me? I didn't do it!" said Ash, who, for once, was being smarter than everyone else.
But no one believed him, and they all left him in jail where he would be all miserable.
And so he rotted in jail for a few weeks. He started to become a very angry and cynical person, and just a tad bit emo. Just kidding. He got REALLY emo. And for some strange reason, his IQ went way up during that time.
But like I said, he only stayed there for a few weeks, because Pikachu helped him break out. Then Ash took all his pokémon and went away to Alto Mare where he got in touch with Latias, and they started dating. Yeah, you heard me. Ash and Latias. Lovely couple, they are. It was so romantic!
So then Ash, Latias, and all Ash's pokémon went to some uncharted island to train for five long years. They got really strong. And I mean REALLY strong. So strong, in fact, that when they heard about an international Pokémon Championship that was being held in Unova, they decided to go there and win. Because they were super strong and they knew they could easily win. Not kidding.
Ash arrived at Unova after swimming five hundred miles to get there. Just kidding, it was seven hundred miles.
He went to a pokemon center to register for the competition and to get a room for the night. All the Nurse Joys were practically drooling at the sight of him, because he was seriously hot and shady-looking, and it is a little-known fact that Nurse Joys loved guys like that. But their hearts were broken when they saw that he already had a girlfriend. Latias was in her human form at the time, and she was way more beautiful than any of the Nurse Joys, which made them even sadder.
Then they went to sleep and then it was the next day, 'cause I want it to be the next day now. So Ash woke up and went outside to train in some deep, dark, scary woods.
AND THEN! Ash met up with his former friends. This is how that went down:
Well, Ash's former friends were all in a big group. Because of course they always hung out together after the Ash Incident. Don't ask for a reason, because I quite honestly don't know why they would do that. I mean, come on, wouldn't being all together just, I don't know, bring up bad memories of the past? But whatever, we'll just accept it for the sake of, uh, character development! Yeah. That makes sense. And don't you deny it!
Now I'm going to awkwardly throw in a little detail about them: They had realized that Ash was innocent the day after he escaped, and they were very repentant. I don't how else I should bring it up. But I'm still a great author! And don't you deny it!
So, as I was saying, they were in a big group. Then they heard some really epic exploding sounds coming from somewhere in the distance. Deep in the dark, scary woods. I bet you can't guess the cause of the epic sounds! Don't even bother to guess. You never would have guessed that Ash was in those woods. Never.
So anyway, yeah, it was in fact Ash. Except he didn't call himself Ash anymore. He called himself Alpha, or something stupid - I mean awesome! - like that.
The Big Group of Friends walked deep in the dark, scary woods until they saw him. He was training a whole bunch of super powerful pokemon. It was really cool to watch. They all hid in some bushes to watch. They weren't worried about getting hit by some stray Hyperbeam or Flamethrower or anything. The bushes would protect them. Haha, get it? 'Protect'? Hahahahahahahaha! I'm so clever!
"Wow, look at how powerful those pokémon are," said Misty, whose eyes were glowing in awe. "These are the most powerful pokémon I've ever seen!" She continued to stare in admiration at all the awesome things happening, like a feraligatr battling a lucario (because Ash caught a riolu at some point), and flying-types doing amazing feats of arial precision in the. . .stratosphere. I like using big words because it makes me feel special. Please do not rain on my parade, people. Speaking of people. . . .
They saw Ash! I mean Alpha! He was in some sort of fist fight with his infernape, and they were moving around so fast that they were just a blur. Then, the blur stopped, because Ash/Alpha had Infernape pinned to the ground. Then he got up. Yeah.
"That was pretty good, Infernape," said Ash. "You just need to work on your reaction time some more. Don't let me keep catching you off-guard." Apparently, Ash is also some sort of Kung Fu master or something. Just go with it, folks.
Suddenly, Ash snapped his fingers, and all the fighting stopped. (His pokemon must all have really good hearing.) They gathered around him and waited for their next orders. Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, I'll tell you what he looks like.
He was tall and muscular (but not in a bodybuilder way; that's just gross), and he was wearing a black cloak. He was also wearing a black shirt, dark pants, and black fingerless gloves. Okay, I'm bored with describing him. We'll just say he was amazing to look at, okay?
"Okay, everyone, good work," he said. "We'll take a break for now. You can go off and do your own thing, while I go ask those people why they're hiding in some bushes."
All the people (except Ash) gasped. How did he know they were there?
Because he's special that way, of course!
Ash walked up to them and stared at them with an intimidating facial expression, and they were all intimidated by the large amount of intimidation. Yup.
They came out of the bushes and introduced themselves. It seemed like the most tactful thing to do at the time. Ash then introduced himself as Alpha, which is what I'll call him from now on.
I shall now give you a brief summary of what happened next: Alpha mentioned that he was going to win the Pokémon Championship (yeah, that's what it was called), and he also said that he could easily win against any one of them using just one of his pokémon.
All of his ex-friends got mad because he was being a conceited jerk. They really shouldn't have; being a jerk is totally hip! If you're strong, you have the right to treat everyone else like dirt! But they were pathetic losers, so they didn't know that. They, if you can believe it, wasted their time practicing common courtesy. Ew.
Time jump!
The Pokémon Championship had begun, and Alpha had already won against a truckload of people with ease. Most of his friends had also gotten by without any trouble. Just kidding. They were all eliminated already. They were not pleased.
Time jump again!
After several weeks, it was the final round! Alpha verses Paul! Paul, as in that jerk from Sinnoh. But Alpha liked him now, because Paul pretty much acted like him anyway. Which is cool.
The battle was epic! It went on for hours, neither of them giving up. The air was full of electricity and laser beams (don't ask). And explosions. Gotta remember the explosions.
Finally, it was down to Pikachu against Torterra! Here's how the battle went:
Torterra died.
Just kidding! He just almost died. Pikachu was careful not to kill him.
Alpha smiled awesomely.
One more time jump!
It was a month or so afterwords when Alpha (whom his friends later found out was Ash), not satisfied with the amount of power he already had, went and tried mug an old lady. Luckily, the old lady was prepared! She beat Ash with her cane, and Ash was subsequently sent to jail for attempted theft. His pokemon were grievously hurt by Ash's betrayal, Delia disowned him, and Latias left him for Brock.
Later that day, the old lady visited Ash in his cell. This is what she said:
:D
Thuh End
