'I remember the door being swung up... I remember someone yanking me into the room... I remember being thrown on the floor... I remember my boys coming towards me... I remember her shouting that she'd shoot.. I remember my boys going back to the corner with the rest of the kids... I don't remember what happened next except that at one point it went black and that was the last time I saw him...'
I shot up in bed tears stained my cheeks as I sat there wiping at them. I felt the body beside me shift I didn't look towards it though.
"Jen.. Lay back down you had another nightmare..." He spoke softly I laid down and as soon as I did I felt his arms wrap around me pulling me close. I cried into his chest as I laid there.
It had been four months since Jasper's death.. Nothing had been the same without him I kept having the same nightmare over and over again I felt so helpless... He had been killed in September and now it was the middle of December. I hadn't been to work since the accident and I wasn't sure when exactly I was going back.
After awhile I got up and distracted myself by taking a shower it worked until the shower was over. I got dressed and made my way downstairs. After making myself a cup of coffee I had decided I should start decorating Christmas was only a week away and we only had an plain tree in the house.
I was just finishing up the last string of lights when I heard someone coming down the stairs I smiled weakly as I watched both my boys come down the stairs. I was standing behind the tree as I finished the lights I tried to hide a laugh as I listened to them.
"You see her Jackson?"
"No daddy I don't see her you sure she wasn't upstairs?"
"Nope she's not there and not in the basement. Is her car still here?"
"Yep it's still in the garage."
"She couldn't have gone far.. Did you check the living room?"
"Yeah there's no one there but the tree. Daddy do you think she ran away?"
"No why would you say that buddy?"
"I don't know..." I watched as they both came into the living room Jethro with his coffee cup in hand and Jack with his cup of juice.
"Daddy?"
"Yes buddy?"
"The tree just moved"
I saw Gibbs get up off the couch as he leaned forward whispering to Jackson. Next thing I knew they were both gone. I shook my head and started working on the tinsel, I had managed to finish that. I was behind the tree once again when all of a sudden I let out a scream feeling someone grab me from behind pulling me down to the ground before I had time to react I felt someone launch themselves on me next thing I know I was pinned on the ground laughing.
"Stop! That tickles!" I shrieked as they both tickled me I tried fight them but it didn't work since I was pinned down. Both boys were laughs as they watched me. Shaking my head I finally gave in knowing I was going no where. After a little while it all stopped and I looked at the two who had attacked me a smile spread across my face watching them.
"Jethro! Jackson! Get off!" I said while laughing as I got up from where I laid, I hugged Jackson as I whispered in his ear.
"You can help put the ordainments on after school now go get your bag" he nodded as he took off upstairs. I could tell Jethro was watching me as I made my way back over the the box just as I was about to open it I watched a hand reach out and hold it shut I felt the other one pull me to him.
"Jen... Don't do that.. Let's leave it for later" he mumbled softly as he lead me into the kitchen handing me a cup of coffee. We sat there till Jackson came running down the stairs.
"Mommy? Could you take me to school today?" I nodded and grabbed my keys making my way to the car as I climbed in Jack climbed in the back and Jethro climbed in beside me shaking my heard I drove to school. I left the car running while I took Jack inside, when I came out my spot in the car was taken.
"Jethro? What are you doing?"
"Climb in I'm driving."
"No, not my car I can drop you off at work but than I'm going home." He shook his head and I rolled my eyes as I climbed in beside him.
"Fine than take me home."
We were driving down the street as I watched all the houses go by I turned and slapped his arm.
"Hey! Jen what was that for?"
"You just passed the house"
"Never said we were going home"
"Jethro I wanna go home"
"No Jen, you need to come into work you don't and you'll lose your job. Jen you have to let go he's not coming back it's been four months you keep doing this and it'll make things harder. I miss him too but we need to get on with our life." I looked towards him but didn't say a word as I nodded.
I didn't say a word as I followed behind Jethro. The elevator ride he had tried talking to me but I ignored him. As the elevator reached the main floor we both stepped out carefully he made his way towards the bullpen stopping they had all looked up at him while I stayed behind him out of view of everyone as I listened to them speak.
"Hey Boss, how's the director doing?" Tony asks as he watches Gibbs walk in.
"She's doing alright, you know you could talk to her she's here."
"Really? I never saw her come in."
"She came in with me DiNozzo."
"You sure boss she's not here." I was watching Gibbs closely so when he took a step to the side I was right in pace with him.
"Jen!" He says turning around to face me all I did was shake my head. He sighed as he pulled me to him hugging me as he turned around so he was facing the team my back to them.
"Jenny!" Abby shouted as she ran over pulling me from Gibbs and hugged me. I smiled and hugged her back.
"Hey Abby.." I said softly watching her.
"Come with me, you too Ziva." Before I knew it I was being pulled towards the elevator I looked towards Jethro who only smiled. I stood between Ziva and Abby as we rode the elevator down to Abby's lab. Once in the lab we all sat down in the chairs.
"Jenny. I know you're upset but we are all here for you. I hope you know that. We were all close to Jasper, Ziva and Tony were very close because he was their godchild. Whenever you need to talk we are here for you." Abby says as she starts rambling on.
"Abby I know and thank you. I was going to come back to work a few weeks ago but something came up and I wasn't sure if I was ready to come back yet..."
"Jen, we are here to talk if you wanna talk about it. Abby locked the door so whatever is said in here stays in here." Ziva said softly.
"I don't know..."
"Here why don't we do this. Let's all say something that we are hiding from everyone else maybe it'll make it easier." Abby said with a smile. "I'll start. Me and Timmy have been going out for a few weeks now."
"Abby that's great I'm happy for you too."
"Yes Abby it really is great. Okay me next, me and tony have been going out for a few months and well not only are we engaged in pregnant as well I've known for a month now." Ziva said smiling proudly. Abby squealed as she hugged her.
"Congrats Ziva" she said releasing her from the hug.
"That's great I'm happy for you Ziva... So I guess it's my turn. Well I was going to come back a few weeks ago is because I found out I was pregnant again... I've known for two weeks and I'm scared.." I said looking towards the two. Both girls smiled as they hugged me.
"Jen there is no need to be worried we'll help you through this." Ziva said with a nod.
"She's right Jenny. Does Gibbs know yet?" I just shook my head. "When are you going to tell him?" Abby asked watching me.
"Well Christmas is only a few days away so I was gonna tell him than." Both girls smiled and nodded.
"Great idea.." They said together. We sat in Abby's lab talking most the day until Ziva was pulled out for a case I sat talking with Abby until they came back and than I went to my office where I spent the rest of the day smiling. Jasper would always be apart of this family he will be remembered for everything he did while he was here, he will always be in our memories.
Christmas Morning
Laying in bed I groaned and rolled over as I felt the sunlight hit my face. There was a crack in the blinds that the sun shines through that hits me square in the face. As I rolled over I pulled the pillow over my head. As I did so I couldn't help but giggle as I felt the figure beside me reach out and pull me to him.
"Jen?"
"Yes?"
"Did you just giggle?"
"Yes I did why?"
"Because it's been far to long since you last giggled" he said pulling me closer as he kissed my neck I smiled and giggled again as I closed my eyes leaning into him. He held me close as we both slowly started drifting off to sleep.. It was only 6:30 when we heard our bedroom door slam open. I mumbled something as I buried myself into the figure beside me and pulled the pillow over my head but that didn't help for what came next.
Out of no where we felt the person who entered collide with the bed. He had jumped on the bed with suck power that it made me bounce up. I let out a small laugh as I felt him come towards us squeezing in between me and Jethro.
"Mommy! Daddy! Get up! Santa came last night, plus Grandpa Ducky, Auntie Kate, Ziva, Abby and Uncles Tony, Tim and Jimmy will be here soon!"
"But we wanna sleep..."
"No mommy get up now." He said pushing my back I was surprised by his strength especially for a five year old but I didn't question it. Silently I got up leaving the two boys as I went and showered.
Coming downstairs I was greeted by the smell of pancakes. Carefully I made my way to the kitchen where I was greeted by a plateful of pancakes. After I finished eating I turned around to find two well dressed boys standing in the doorway.
"You both look amazing."
"You too Jen, I love the dress." He said as he walked over kissing my forehead just than the door rang. We laughed as Jackson took off towards the door opening it.
"Jack!" We could hear the others from the doorway
"Mommy! Daddy! They have gifts!" I looked towards Jethro who laughed as we both made our way towards the door.
The day was spent snacking and opening gifts. I was snuggled up with Gibbs on the couch while Abby and McGee sat cuddled in the floor, Ziva and tony were in a chair together, Ducky was in the other chair while Jimmy and Kate were on the floor. We all watched as Jackson tore open the last present, he was surrounded by a pile of toys which I was gonna let Jethro help him figure it out.
It was already 4:00pm when Jackson finished his last gift, we had to pause multiple times for food, potty breaks, nap time and the occasional tantrum. But now we got through all but one.
"Jackson grab the last present" Ducky said nothing the small box in the back. He nodded and grabbed it.
"It's for your father." Ducky said as he read the name. Jackson walked over handing it to Gibbs who looked surprised. After reading the name plate he looked towards me surprised as I smiled. Opening it he looked towards it than me confused.
"What is it boss?" McGee asked. Gibbs held up the pacifier.
"You trying to tell him something Jenny?" Tony asked from where he sat.
"Why Jen?" Gibbs asked looking towards me. I looked towards the girls who broke out laughing. All eyes were on them and than back towards me.
"You're going the be a father again Jethro..."
