Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

A/N Heya, peoples. Did ya miss me? :D To all of you who might have been waiting, sorry for the long delay; I was working on my only non-crack story I have right now, and that taxes this poor crack-writer's brain. xD (Also, I couldn't think of how to write this particular chapter.)

Anyway, this chapter is about the Coma Theory (as suggested by KawaiiJoltic). For those of you who don't know what it is, it's basically the idea that Ash has been in a coma since after he got attacked by the flock of spearow and fearow, and the rest of the series is just a dream. The poem I wrote pokes fun at the fanfic writers who take that idea AND RUIN IT.

And yes, like I said, it's a poem. I thought it would make it more interesting that way—I really didn't know how to write it in prose without making it extremely boring. -.-

Also, someone PLEASE tell me how to make it so that the poem is not squished together like this! I would be happy to fix it, but Fanfiction won't let me! D:

Uh, anyway, enjoy.

OoOoOoOoO

Cry of the Coma Theory

The far-fetched and fascinating Coma Theory is fake,

To all of you people who perhaps didn't know.

Our hero, Ash Ketchum, never once took a break

To dream up what is now the famed Pokémon show.

When people write up a story about this,

The same exact thing happens time after time:

Ash quickly awakens to find something amiss—

And then the poor plot transforms into slime.

For when the young boy wakes up not long too after

The spearow and fearow flock made their attack,

What happens next is quite a lot dafter

Than a bunch of drunk slowbro, all high on cheap crack.

Ash Ketchum's life is turned upside-down

By a writer who can't make a half-decent plot,

And while said writer clowning around,

Poor Ash is stuck fast in a cliché-filled spot.

He soon gets rare pokémon—eevee, most likely,

And goes on a journey you're sure to forget,

And then meets a girl, one young and quite sprightly,

Either Misty, May, Dawn, Iris, or the author, I bet.

The thing that I know and the thing that I claim,

Is that nothing new happens in these these stories at all—

There's just an OC with Ash Ketchum's name

Who goes about being the master of all.

The plot line gets worse, you can be sure,

The further the reader reads in,

For soon he has dragon types, shinies, and more,

And you are left wondering, "Why did this begin?"

So please listen, dear Reader, to my humble advice—

Don't write a story based on this thing.

It's been trampled and hurt, beaten half to death (twice),

And our good Theory no longer has interest to bring.

For if some poor victim clicks on your tale,

He'll recoil in horror, and his eyes will get wetter.

He'll then fall to knees and, in great despair, wail,

"Even the stupid old anime's better!"

OoOoOoOoO

A/N Uh . . . tah-dah?