His body language didn't reveal much. Indeed, even as he stared back with the wind, hands resting on the guardrail, posture erect and lifeless, Edmond seemed fine. In gestures he kept his thoughts private, disclosing nothing of the feelings that nearly cracked his body in two.

A hat fell from a nearby sailor's head, but the man grabbed at it - shoving it back on before running towards the helm to shout a question at the navigation's officer.

He barely heard the reply behind him, or the roar of the sea of blue, or the splash of choppy waves as they threatened to swallow the fading outline of Marseille.

"My friend," Generally Gankutsuou wouldn't have bothered getting up, weak and tired as he was, but for this he came to Edmond's side, "are you unhappy?"

Edmond stared into the back of relaxed hands and responded in thought, "that was the right decision, I am sure of it."

"Was it also humane?"

The other workers pulled at sails, swabbed the decks, and chatted loudly over their chores as the sun continued to set.

"I think so."

"So…humans do breed pain, even when trying to do the opposite."

Not in the mood for such a conversation Edmond pulled away from the railing and took towards his quarters. Of course he couldn't really walk away from the demon, but the action's meaning was loud enough.

"It's interesting," Gankutsuou pretended not to notice Edmond's irritation, "Neither one of you seem happy with that decision."

Walls creaked as he fell into his hammock. They would arrive in port shortly, but not for several more hours. His body was tired, but at least none of the crew would bother him here.

"If you're trying to make him happy…I can do that. You're wasting your time on this boat, and you're not helping Albert."

"If you don't like it then leave. You can take the immortality away any time you like, remember?"

He chuckled, a deep and eerie sound, "But this is my human decision, as was saving you, remember? But you know, I don't feel any differently. Well, not any better anyways. I do feel weak - worse than I did before. And I find it interesting that after your human decision, neither you nor Albert seem any happier either."

"It isn't about happiness…I will not relive the past." There wasn't any point in arguing, and he didn't really care to, but the emotion was going to come out somewhere, one way or another.

His internal companion grinned. It had been a long time since they had bantered this way. "I had thought, for a moment, that maybe 'human' means the ability to love someone more than yourself. But, then I realized something: If you were really doing this for the boy, you'd have given him what he wanted– you would have stayed. In the end, this is still for you, Edmond."

The swaying of his netted bed mimicked the rise and fall of the ship. Water slapped the outside of the hull, a sound they had grown accustom to and barely noticed.

"Cavern king," Edmond finally answered after several minutes of listening to the noise he so often ignored, "when I was naïve I would have said humanity was the ability to love unconditionally, sacrificing, or the knowledge of right and wrong. After the betrayal of everyone I cared for, when we met, I would have called humanity deceit and lies. Albert, out of a misguided fixation, proved to me that unconditional love does exist, although rarely and probably with pathology.

After seven years, I may have an answer: your right. As you said, we are weakness. We are want. We suffer from the 'never enough' complex, and we probably do more wrong than we ever do right. But I think that is what death wanted you to see. That's all. There is no 'unseen' quality that will redeem this species. We are frail, and pathetic."

His host rolled over, determined not to continue the conversation.

Gankutsuou made a content sound and began to fade back within his host, his energy flickering like a candle.

* * *

I toss around the decision for a while, trying to make up my mind. If I tell her she'll rush to France, leaving everything behind. If I don't she'll be furious, and possibly hate me for it.

I work up the courage to call, and it turns she doesn't even believe me.

"Albert," I haven't heard her voice in so long, and I forgot how refined and high it is, but I don't think that right now because I'm completely neurotic with panic, "Albert," she repeats as if trying to calm me down, she can hear how fast I'm breathing, "he's dead. Believe me, I wish that wasn't the case…but it's truth."

"No Haydee!" shit, keep forgetting she's a princess, "you're majesty…I saw him, he touched me, he even admitted he was the count...sort of."

She laughs softly, still trying to sooth me, "You can call me Haydee."

Damn karma. Is this what I get? I didn't listen to what everyone told me about the Count, so now no one's going take my word?

"Haydee, for seven years I haven't had one hallucination, one denial, or even one single moment where I've invented him. I've never done anything like this before. What reason do you have not to trust me?"

The tiny phone in my mother's house has a blue blinking light. It alternates with a green one when you're on a call. It takes thirty long flashes of green for her to respond to me.

"Do you have any idea how many nights I laid awake, hating you?"

Um – that wasn't the response I was hoping for.

"You were the last one he spoke to, you were the one that he loved most, and you brought him back, not me. Isn't that enough for you? Now you'll torture me with these delusions?"

That was not what I needed to hear. I feel like I'm a peeling onion.

Hating me? Really? I'd only ever envied her. With all the time she had with the count, wondering if he'd ever done the things to her that I wanted him to do to me…how could she hate me when she was the one who'd had him?

I almost hang up the phone without saying goodbye, but even after what she said, that would be too rude.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Princess, and I apologize that I will not be coming to Janina."

I hear something bump, it sounds like a teacup or bowl being set on a table, "I don't hate you now Albert, please don't misunderstand me. I was trying to express how often I felt jealous of you. It wasn't a consistent feeling. But the truth is, I'm very fond of you! It's been years… and I'm adjusted now. But, I would have given him everything to keep him happy."

This is the first time we've spoken about the Count since that summer. How exactly did I expect her to feel?

The wind pushes against a shutter and moans.

"I know. Believe me, I never would have taken him from you."

"But you did, perhaps without meaning to. Maybe he would have let me stay at his side, maybe you would have encouraged him to, and I would have done so - out of something desperate, but how could he have said any more loudly what he really wanted? …Please come to Janina, Albert. I've been looking forward to you're arrival. Clearly, we need both need that."

Even now she's looking out for me, just as she did before. Is that because she was really looking out for what the Count wanted? All along I thought she'd liked me for me, and that our friendship was made stronger by loving the same person, but maybe that wasn't true.

Well, it's my turn. Even if he wants you and not me, I'll find him Haydee. I'll find him for both of us.

"I can't yet. He's real, and I know I saw him. I know I heard him speak. I'll call you when I have some proof."

I'm no sure if she thinks I'm crazy, or if she's starting to hope, but she tells me, or actually snaps at me, that she's sending Baptistin to collect me.

* * *

In the grocery stores, in the larger cities, they dipped their fruits in wax to make them shiny. He preferred the produce here; in fact he preferred everything here.

Perhaps that was because it made it easier to forget the memory of tender lips pressed against his own, and all of the events in Paris.

Funny, Edmond thought, he went to Paris to undo his life in Marseille, and now he ran to Le Val to hide from Paris.

When his shopping was concluded, Edmond picked up a few durable bags and aimed for home.

It was difficult to manage them, with the awkwardly long loaf of bread and the various sizes and shapes of the vegetables, but eventually they settled in his arms.

Normally he didn't by this much, but he'd be home for a while.

Captain Cain had been upset when Edmond had refused the last voyage out of port, but only one of his life-giving flowers had survived - the rest had taken some kind of fungus. He had to stay and tend to the crop.

There wasn't any time to worry about the consequences of that choice - he had to ward off the blood lust (all the more potent without Gankutsuou's strength) and normal food only provided half of the nourishment he needed. Even with one flower, he was going to have a desperate month.

"So you're not moving after all?" his landlady had asked earlier that day as she watered the flowerpots in her garden.

She owned a block of yellow buildings, each a town house of three levels with tiny front yards and villa style windows. They were crammed together, walls touching, each one only big enough for a small family. They were old, fantastically charming, and vines wore at the paint as they climbed over the doorways.

"No, I am sorry for the confusion. Yesterday I thought I had everything in order, but there is a …complication." It was safer to stay here and try to bring his garden back to life rather than relocate and start all over, even if that meant it would be easier for Albert to find him.

"That's fine. Just let me know when you're going out of town so I can send my kid over to house sit again. It's a good responsibility for her."

* * *

I thought it would be harder to find him. Hadn't even started asking around, and there he is, beautiful as ever, just shopping. Leaving me didn't even bother him. He can continue on with life, and I…I'm pathetically chasing after him. But, here we are, so…

***

"Count!" Edmond froze, the voice unmistakable.

Albert winced, regretting the slip, he corrected himself, stopping and blushing at his feet, only a foot or two away. "Edmond…"

He didn't know weather or not to put down his groceries.

The boy's face was blushing red and he couldn't bring himself to look up, "I'm…I…"

It was, honestly, adorable. But, Edmond was quick on his feet, and a fabulously devious thinker. He recovered quickly, "Mousier Herrera I believe, what brings you to Le Val?"

Visibly shaken, the boy glared at a lamppost. He played along, but his voice was bitter, "I'm on vacation, Mousier Adnet, please forgive me. I must have mistaken you for Edmond once more. It's just that, you do remind me of someone I knew once. Someone I cared for very much, but I guess he's dead now."

He adjusted his grip on the bags, the fabric denting under his fingers and arm. Responding as he would if they had truly never met before, he softened his voice. "I'm sorry to hear that."

The sentence betrayed more of his feelings than he'd intended, and Albert finally looked up, clenching his fists. "It was seven years ago, so, I should probably stop hoping."

"That is….an unbearably long time to search for a ghost."

"Yeah, but this man." He spoke with significance. "Told me never to give up hope."

Edmond softened, and he looked around the crowd quickly, catching the eyes of the few who nodded at him as they passed.

"He was clearly important to you…I do hope you find him."

"No," there was bitterness, so full of venom, in that hiss, "you don't.

Startled by the sudden fury, he bent over and put his groceries down, freeing his hands. They settled with a crinkle. "What exactly do you want Master Herrera? You are clearly hurt, and angry. If it is revenge you seek, I am sure this man would think you entitled."

"After everything your revenge did to me, you'd think I'd do the same to you?! You think I'd ruin someone else's life the way mine was ruined? Haven't you learned anything? Did you even care that you hurt me, even a little?!"

There were a million ways he could have responded. He would accept whatever rage the boy had to give. It was fair, and he had expected it from the first conception of his plan. Every man was entitled to the same feelings, the same rage, and the same revenge that Edmond had sought, if they were willing to reach for it.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Then what do you want?"

Something panicky crawled between them. "What, what do you think?!"

"I imagine you would want closure, it sounds like you have unanswered questions."

"Please…please stop this. I wanted, for so long, to talk to you…please stop." His voice was muted, almost unheard next to the village noises.

Edmond reached for his groceries, turning his back. It was all he could to do to keep himself from grabbing the boy to comfort him, or repeat his mistake at the port in Marseille. He left without a word.