Disclaimer: I don't own the Bible. I don't own God. Whatever, you get the point.
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"So are we done talking now?" Lucifer asked impatienedly.
God shook His head. "Pride wasn't the only sin I commited, Lucifer." He gave the fallen angel a wink. "Your Daddy can be a Bad Boy too if He wants to."
For a moment, Lucifer was speechless. Did his ex-father really wink at him? But then he shrugged it away. God had always been a freak in his opinion. "So what's the other sin?" he asked.
"Well…" said God. "It all happened in Egypt. There was a pharaoh there and he thought his dumb gods were so good."
Lucifer thought for a moment. "Which era?" he asked. "I mean, you always seem to have trouble with Egypt. There was this one time with Joseph the dream-boy. My half-brother Jesus… Oh, and the ten plagues! What happened there again?"
"Well, I sent Moses over to Egypt to free the Jews."
Lucifer gave his ex-father a queer look. "The Jews again?"
God nodded. "Yup, again."
Lucifer shook his head in exasperation. "How many times have you saved them already?"
God shrugged not knowing the answer Himself. "Couple of few hundred times… or maybe a few thousand. I lost count."
"But the pharaoh must have refused to let them go right?"
God nodded again. "Yeah," He confirmed. "So I told Moses to do a few tricks, but they unfortunately weren't convinced by that…" His expression darkened as He thought about it. "Those Egyptians thought their own gods to be better than Me."
"And so you tortured Egypt?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow.
"But that's because Egypt had so many gods," God pouted, "and none of them were Me! They built so many temples and altars but none for Me! And even their pharaoh, who is just a mortal, got more attention and gifts than Me!"
"Oh…" It dawned in on Lucifer and he looked at God with a thoughtful expression on his face. "So you were feeling Jealousy?"
"…"
"Well?" Lucifer looked at the lord of Heaven expectantly. "Were you or were you not?"
God let out a long sigh. "Yeah, I was," He admitted. "But they really deserved to die!" His fury returned "I mean, those temples should have been about Me! I should have been the One who they'd worship!"
"Err…" Lucifer hesitated. In this state of mind God was definitely not to be messed with. "Well…" he tried. "If it makes you feel better… right now you are the most worshipped god ever."
God took a deep breath to calm Himself down. "You're right…" He stared suspiciously at His son. "Are you planning something? Why are you comforthing Me?"
Lucifer gave his ex-father a dull look. "Obviously I wanted you to stop ranting like an idiot." He shook his head. "I don't know why I even bother listening to you…"
'Killing Egyptians, stealing the Jewish slaves from the pharaoh and coveting for the houses of other gods… That's commandments five, seven and ten.'
You shall not murder.
You shall not steal.
You shall not covet your neighbor's house.
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