Disclaimer: I don't own the Bible. I don't own God. Whatever, you get the point.

Note: Thank you Uke Love for correcting my spelling-error!

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. ENJOY.


"I don't know why I even bother listening to you…"

God shot Lucifer a small smirk. "So, you do care about your Old Man, Lucifer." He patted His ex-son lovingly on the shoulder. "That's My boy."

Quickly Lucifer slapped God away, stopping the Other from patting him. "Don't think any of it, you crazy old spirit!" He let out a huff and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I'm only doing this so that I may find some weakness in you that I may use against you."

God shrugged. "Whatever you want, son."

Lucifer shot Him an angry glare. "I am NOT your son," he hissed underneath his breath, but God ignored him completely.

"Anyway, I tormented the entire land of Egypt with My Ten Plagues, so that Moses could escape with the Jews. After that I gave them the Ten Commandments that the two of us made together with Michael." God paused His ranting as the feelings of the fun days came back to Him. "Oh yeah," He added as an afterthought. "I also tortured Moses a bit."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You did?" he asked. "What did you do to him?"

God let out a small chuckle. "I let him rot in the desert for forty years and when the Promised Land was finally shown in front of him I let him die before he could reach it."

Lucifer looked at his ex-father with shock. "You let him walk forty years through the desert for nothing?" He shook his head silently. 'And they say I'm cruel…' Expectantly he looked up at God. "So why did you torment him like that?" he asked.

"Well, he struck that rock for water, instead of speaking to it like I ordered."

Lucifer looked at God in disbelieve. "That's the reason for you to torment him? You are even worse than I am!"

"But he didn't listen to My orders!" God protested.

"And so, you showed him your wrath?"

"That didn't even come near My wrath," God huffed out. "What I did at the time of Noah was true Wrath."

Lucifer quirked an eyebrow. "Noah who built the ship?"

"Yup!" God nodded. "I let Noah built a ship to save one male and one female of each species and then I destroyed everything I made with the Great Flood."

"But…why?" Lucifer asked thoroughly confused. "What did they do?"

"Well, mankind was wicked at that time!"

"Wicked… in what way?"

"Uhm… well… err…" God thought about it for a moment. Finally, He came with the most intelligent answer He could come up with. "I forgot."

Lucifer gave God a look. "You are the worst," he muttered.

"Worse than you are?" God asked hopefully. He really loved being the Best at everything.

Lucifer shook his head exasperatedly. "In your dreams, idiot!" he sneered.

"I am not an idiot," protested God. "I am God, I am the Holy One, I am the Lord, I am who I am, I am the Sacred One, I am…" And He rambled on and on and on.

'Again he broke that same commandment, number five…'

You shall not murder.

Lucifer stared at God who was still rambling. 'Along with commandment two…'

You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your God.


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