Huge thanks to LRW, ShadowDragon1553, Dirtkid123, and AlienGhostWizard14 for leaving reviews!
Alright. This entry was very heavily inspired by a hash-brown-no-filter's tumblr post regarding marriage. Someone had reposted it, and when I saw it I immediately thought of Donald and Tasha. The post is a really good reminder about what married life really is like, and I thought it'd be nice to see reflected in my all-time favorite canon pairing's relationship. :)
Oh! Also, today's entry is in a format of a letter. Two letters, actually, but they're not correspondences to one another.
Onto day seven we go!
/day seven/
Prompt: tumblr post, 'Marriage is not beautiful'
Featured LR character(s): Donald, Tasha
"The Ugly"
"Marriage is not beautiful."
I don't like it that you love yourself too much. Not all the time, of course, because I've come to accept that as a part of who you are, but just sometimes. Like, when we would go to an important event and people would complement me for my dress or for how I look, and then you'd feel the need to tell others that what you have on or how you look is better. I know that you just say that because you want to break the ice and that it's just you, but sometimes I'm not very sure, and it makes me feel bad.
(It also drives me crazy that you spend hours in the bathroom in the mornings, by the way. I've been late several times because of that, but then I just learned to wake up earlier and beat you to it.)
I didn't like it when we were placed in that horrible situation because of your brother, when, for a while, we had to struggle financially. You were very scared at that time. I knew that you were, even if you thought I didn't. You were so worried, and I knew at one point you almost broke down and cried. It wasn't the kind of cry that meant nothing, that was almost done for laughs, but it was the kind of cry that I knew only came from a father and a husband who didn't know what to do. The kids didn't know that you did that stunt because we were near to losing the house again and our funds were thinning. You were worried about Adam, Bree, and Chase, because keeping them healthy meant lots of money – and it was something that we almost didn't have.
I don't like it when you're upset, because then you say things that really hurt me. I hated that one argument we had, where I told you that I felt like you didn't care about Leo anymore, and in your anger you told me that he's not your responsibility because you're not his father. I know you said you're sorry afterwards and that you didn't mean what you said, and I want to believe you, I do. But, sometimes, when I watch the way you are with him, I can't help but doubt you. Sometimes I wonder if you only care about him because you feel like it's your obligation to me.
Still—
I love those mornings when I would wake up and I'd find you gazing at me with a smile on your face. It makes me feel wonderful and special, when I would say, "What?" and you would quietly say, "Nothing. I'm just wondering what I did to deserve a great woman like you." Then, you'd reach up, gently brush your thumb on my cheek, and say, "You're so beautiful." Those words make me feel electric and bright inside.
I love those times when I'm so frustrated and angry that I'm left in tears, and you would hold me close and tell me that you're here for me. And, on those times when I don't want anyone near me and want to be alone, you would fill up the fridge with pints of cookie dough and raspberry cheesecake ice cream and stock the cupboards with chocolate because you know how those things make me feel better and would eventually lead me into coming to you and opening up about what had upset me. Just having you there, listening, takes all the bad away.
And, I love the fact that you're still here with me. You put up with my crazy side and sad side, my imperfections and my stubbornness. We get on each other's nerves, but even if that's the case you make it clear to me that you're in for this ride the whole way through. You also do those little things that I don't think you know you're doing but which I still love, like referring to Leo as your 'son' unconsciously when you're speaking to your friends at work and having that smile on your face whenever you tell me the story of that one time when he accidentally called you Dad. I have faith that you really do love him as your own. That thought alone melts my heart.
I love you. Always. There's no question about it.
xx Tasha
…...
I don't like it that at times, you're bossy. You tell me what to do and when to do it and how to do it. I have certain ways of accomplishing things, but often I find that you don't like it – and you also let me know. It makes me feel like I'm dumb, and sometimes, I do those things because I want to impress you. But then you get upset, and I don't even get a thank you. It makes me feel bad, because that's me showing you I care, and it's like you're telling me that it's not enough.
I don't like it when you have a problem and you don't tell me. I know that you do that out of habit. For years, it was just you and Leo, and as a single mother you had to learn how to deal with things on your own—but things are different now. I'm here for you. I'm here to help you. But, I find myself being left out of the picture a lot. There had been several times I found you crying, and when I asked you what was wrong you just told me that it was nothing and left. I had to hear it from Leo to know what was really going on.
I guess all I'm saying is that I want to help you as much as I can, because, though you may not think it, it hurts me when you're hurt. I'm right here, Tasha. Please don't turn me away.
I really, really, really don't like it when you're around that Mitchell Graham guy. I know you have to deal with him because he's your boss, but he's so clingy. I don't like the way he looks at you, either. You've said several times before that you don't like him or even give him any thought, but he always tries to make you laugh, and you would. I don't like that, because making you laugh is my privilege. I'm your husband. He's not. He's single. He has no business being around you.
I know I also have no business being jealous, but I can't help it.
But, despite all of that…
I love the fact that you're thoughtful and kind. You send me texts throughout the whole day, asking me how I'm doing and reminding me that you love me. When I'm off to a business trip and I don't have enough time because my schedule's packed, you prepare everything that I need for me, even putting things in my luggage that I forget I need. However, what's got to be the kindest act that you have done for me is that you stepped into the role of being a mother to Adam, Bree, and Chase even if you weren't expecting it. You hug them and call them 'honey' or 'sweetheart' and talk to them about things they can't talk to me about without being asked, and for that I'm tremendously thankful.
I love it that you dance and hum whenever you're brushing your teeth or washing your hands, when you think no one's watching. Or when the two of us are watching a movie and you laugh so hard that you lean into my shoulders, and the tears streaming down your face fall onto my shirt. I love seeing you like that, because when you dance and you hum and you laugh, it reminds me that it's okay for me to dance and to hum and to laugh, too. I can do these things with you, be weird and almost unexplainable, because you wouldn't judge and would only love me more for it.
Most importantly, I love it when you would scoot closer to me in the middle of the night and hug me. I don't know if you know it, but those nights when you do that are the nights when I can't go to sleep. Your hug reminds me that I'm not alone, and that no matter how bad everything might seem, no matter how unsure I am of what tomorrow would look like, I can always count on my best friend being there with me. Turning around and taking you in my arms is my favorite, because then I'd fall asleep knowing that I have half the answer I need, and that at the end of the day I'm loved by a beautiful, bossy, thoughtful, sarcastic, and good woman like you.
My love for you goes beyond saying, babe.
Donald
Reviews are appreciated!
Tomorrow starts prompt week, so expect some PM in your inboxes soon. ;)
