Dear Petra,
I'm a coward. I'm a fool. I'm a coward and a fool for falling for you. All these years you've stayed by my side, every step of the way. I was an idiot and began to adore your smile, the way your hair's a beautiful mess.
It's only once I thought of a world without a Petra that I noticed I loved you. For a world without you is like a world without flowers, barely tolerable and extremely lacking in beauty. Somehow I'll survive without you if it has to come to that, but the world will be so much duller.
You are my confident, the person who willingly deals with my bullshit. You call me out when I fuck up but still love me the same. It's you I want to spend the rest of my life with. To hear you laugh every day, to wake up next to every morning.
And sometimes it scares me how much I care for you. How I'd literally do anything for you. Not just climb mountains or create beautiful works, but destroy everything in my path, or fight against Humanity itself, just to see you never cry again. I try to leave the past behind me, but for you I'd become the very monsters I'm fighting.
As I said before though, I'm a coward. You'll never see these words I'm writing. For I know you'll never love me. You already have a beautiful girlfriend back home. So I'll relish our little moments together. As long as I get to see that bright copper hair and hear your adorable laugh I'm content. I know I'll never get to kiss you, or run my fingers through your hair, but it's my fault for falling in love with you in the first place. I had said I was a fool earlier.
So please just stay with me. I know you'll never love me, but I'll survive. All my life I've had to learn how to survive without the things I want. The only difference is I need your presence, not your love. So please just swear I'll get to see that bright smile everyday.
-L
