The first few days caring for Charlie were some of the most challenging of my entire life. He'd always been so self-sufficient, so able. It killed me to see him at anyone's mercy – worst of all, mine.
And let's face it: I wasn't much of a caretaker. It was never in my nature, I was too much like my mom.
But I did my best. I made mediocre soup, bought the healthiest pre-made meals I could find at the grocery store, and fluffed his pillow a million times a day. We watched action movies together and I watched him while he slept. I wasn't sure how much more time I'd have with him – I wanted to memorize his face. Spend the time with him that I should have before he got sick.
Jacob helped out a lot too along with his dad, Billy. Billy was pretty limited in what he could do, but the hours he spent watching sports and joking around with Charlie were invaluable. Charlie was never one to smile much in the first place, but since I'd been back, Billy had been the only one who could make him happy. I don't know why, but whenever he looked at me his eyes were so sorrowful. So full of regret.
It was me who deserved to be regretful.
Two weeks after my return home, I tucked Charlie in upstairs, carried his dinner dishes down to the sink and joined Jake on the front porch. We'd become accustomed to hanging out and talking after Charlie went to bed. We'd eat ice cream or sip wine and catch up on the town gossip. It was the only time I spent outside. I ddin't like being out there much – I felt like I could always feel Edward's eyes on me; I certainly couldn't stop him from stalking me, even if I wanted to. I wondered if this was how my life would be. Forever. Always feeling his eyes on me. Always wishing there were a way to get away from him for good.
"So there hasn't been any more trouble with the vampires on the reservation?" I took another bite of vanilla ice cream, watching Jacob's dark eyes scan the landscape. He must have been thinking the same things I was – was Edward out there watching?
"Nah. They've learned their lesson, I think." He laughed. "And if they haven't, we'll gladly teach it to them again."
I smiled. It was nice being here with Jacob again. It was him I had missed the most. Him and Alice. She had been like a sister to me. But I couldn't worry about that.
"Do you ever see the Cullens around?"
"Do you really want to talk about that, Bella? I thought you were trying to move on."
I flushed. "I know, I am. I just…I miss them, you know. I mean, the others – Alice, Jasper, Carlisle…hell, in some small way I even miss Rosalie."
Jacob smirked. "Seriously? You've got to be kidding me. That woman is crazy."
I couldn't contain my giggles – he was so right. "Yeah, but a little bit of psycho is good for us every now and then, right?"
Jacob shrugged. "Whatever. I guess you seem to be drawn to that."
And then we were back. Jacob gazed off into the distance. I felt bad. I really did love Jacob, just not the way he wanted me to. I Didn't like the defeated look on his face. I set my dish on the porch and leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder.
"You know you're my best friend?"
He didn't respond. I sighed. Maybe talking about it wasn't the best path forward. I shut my eyes, listening to small town silence. When I opened them I caught the glint of something in the forest across the street. I squinted my eyes, trying to get a better look. There was definitely something there. Jacob stood up, staring offensively in the same direction. He snarled.
He didn't have to say anything; I knew who it was.
"God damnit!" I cried. I took off towards the woods, pissed as all hell. I told him to leave me alone!
