A lot of shit's been happening recently and really, it's just pissing me off...So, anyway, this chapter may be up before or after winter break, depends on what I can do before I get to my "prearranged obligations" (vacation). I might be able to type parts of 15, but I'm not sure…

A-anyway, without any further ado...Let's begin.

Chapter 14: That One Bitch Who Betrayed Us, He Be Dead Now.


Don't worry, the garrison is fine. Do you think I'm awesome enough to burn down a building? If you do, you're awesome too! If you don't, you're right. I did burn myself though. Did I mention that I didn't pass fire safety either? No? Well. I didn't.

Hmph. I told you not to. You never listen.

I don't need someone to dictate my every move or tell me what to do or help me, Aquarius. I can handle this all myself. I need to keep them all safe, it's my duty now. I need to ease their worries, just as I used to at home and provide guidance and fair judgement.

Scorpio was right...You need to lean on others more often.

Scorpio?

Aquarius, who's that?

Aquarius?!

Anyway, we were on the road now. Rei sulked as I smiled smugly from atop Amph, going as far as yawning and leaning back. My badassness was shut down as I quickly realized that Amph did not, in fact, have a head rest, thus resulting in me flipping off her back and face planting. Not one of my brighter moments, Rei's whooping laughter proving my point. I sighed, dusted myself off and got back on Amph, very aware that I pulled a Sumia.

"Hey….Hey, Erin!~" Rei still guffawed. "What's that on your face?"

"What." I deadpanned.

"PAIN! HAH!" She held her sides and proceeded to cry. Godsdammit, Rei, how is that funny in the least?

"Hmph. At least I—HOLY SHIT!" A wyvern came out of nowhere, letting out a roar as several more followed it.

"So it begins," Noah said, making me aware of his presence, whilst drawing his bow.

Rei raised a brow and looked around. She frowned, realizing her efforts were wasted, due to how short she was. "Where's the hierarch?"

We were at the back of the group, when we really should've been at the front, ready to use the knowledge we have of the story. It may or may not have helped in this situation. Hell, we could've avoided this whole thing altogether if we had just said something. But we didn't and this was happening now.

Noah nocked an arrow, "Approximately….five hundred feet ahead of us; heading towards the Plegian front lines," and released, shooting it across the craggy expanse. A distant scream was heard soon after. "Not anymore."

"Well, at least that saved Vasto's time…" I remarked, digging my heels into Amph sides, leading her into a walk.

"Wyverns aren't treated very well in Plegia," he explained, procuring more arrows from his quiver. "Shoot the riders off and they will turn against their old masters."

"Good to know, almighty war veteran," I murmured. There was an uproar coming from the frontlines. A pegasus knight swooped down and pulled Emmeryn to the other side of the column. The rest of the guard then followed. "Anyway, I have a feeling someone's going to be pissed at you. You killed the hierarch, even if he was a traitor. He was a trusted advisor."

"See if I give a flying fuck." Noah released another arrow, knocking a wyvern rider off his mount. "One wyvern free."

"All right, Sheps!" Robin called out, waving a Thunderfied hand like one of those runway lights. "You know the drill! Close range on the frontlines; long ranged behind! Healers stay out of enemy range!" So basically that meant everyone but Miriel, Ricken, Lissa, Maribelle (who was staying pretty close to Robby, who seems to have chosen to use magic for this fight) and Virion on the frontlines.

"Should be interesting to see how this plays out, eh Erin?" I barely heard Noah ask over the din of battle...and defeated wyvern cries.

I nodded in response, drawing a steel sword. "Yeah. I'm wondering if it'll go according to plot, though, not how the battle will turn out."

"This ambush is a lot more elaborate than it was in game. Hear the wing beats coming from the mountains? They have put almost their entire Air Force into this battle."

Gee, thanks. I couldn't see that by the obvious amount of shit that was going down.

"That's terrifying. Giant wyverns are going to wreck havoc, unless we get rid of their masters."

"Shoot the riders, and they will free each other. Chain reaction."

"But what if they harm us as well?" You know, like in the movies? You release this sick and sad looking dog and then turns out that it thinks you're its owner and tries to maul your face off. Just me? "They probably see us all the same."

He shot down another wyvern. "Those beasts are smarter than you give them credit for." What's next? Save the Wyverns Association? Wingless Wyvern Foundation? Donate your wyverns today? Save a wyvern and give it a home?

"Right…." Should I use this bow…? Nah. "I guess we'll pair up then. I should probably stop talking, and help….Don't answer that, it was rhetorical." With that we launched into battle….Like the battle had already started, but now we were doing shit. By "we" I mean "me."

The battle raged on. Flamethrowers with wings became our allies as we picked off their masters. The tides of battle quickly turned in our favor as we pushed them further into the chasm. I could give you more details on the fight, I really could, but after a while it became pretty repetitive. Oh. No. A wyvern...I'm gonna kill it now. Slash. Oh look…..It's dead. See what I mean? There really wasn't much to note, other than the fact that the wyverns had joined our ranks like Noah said they would.

Everything was going fine. Nothing was going wrong and that had me worried, naturally. Where was Cordelia? Was she all right? Is she dead? Will she quote Peppy Hare? Do a barrel r—I am sorry that you had to read that. Continue on.

Well, a new face flew in from the west with Delia, just as I was about to voice my doubts. "Chrom! Huge problem!" She wore the standard pegasus knight armor, which initially led me to believe she was just some NPC, but then I noticed that there was what appeared to be white swirls that were dusted with stars on the skirt and breastplate. Her dark hair was up in a braid. She's got the special armor like Cordelia and Sumia, so she must be important.

Delia pulled at her reigns, glancing back and forth. "M-Milord! They...are….are coming in from the behind….The...there are enemy reinforcements from the rear!" Her armor wasn't fastened properly and she was visibly shaking, barely able to get her words out: Traumatized.

"Cordelia?!" Chrom asked, making me question how I could hear this conversation from this distance. It didn't seem like he was yelling or anything. "What's happened? Is the capital all right? Do the border remain secure?"

"Ylisstol is safe...Is what I wish I could say as fact, but it is only a guess...The border has been breached." Delia and the new person landed with a fwomp fwomp near where Chrom, Robin and Phila fended off wyvern riders. "The Plegians made their way up from the southern sea and through the western borders. The last I saw, they were being held off by Fort Jaegar. I do not think they will last long, my prince. They were few in numbers."

"And what of the other knights?"

Delia looked away, steeling herself. "The border guards…" She sniffed, her mask sliding off in the process. "They….They're….They're…."

"Let's just say death would be a mercy for them." The new knight said, patting Delia's back in an attempt to comfort her. "Calm down, Dealz. I've given you enough pity passes."

Phila bowed her head, processing the information. "That means you are the only recruits left."

"The two newest ones at that….How pathetic." She pulled at her black pegasus's reigns. "It's a real shame that we couldn't save them, huh Iris?" She barely looked up as a wyvern rider flew in, bringing up her lance and killing it.

"They valued your youth." The knight captain attempted to comfort them by showing a bright side, but her somber tone betrayed her sadness. "It was in their best interests to have the pegasus knights start out strong. That's why they helped you escape, I'm sure of it."

"Then—" Cordelia started but was cut off by a wyvern rider driving an axe into her side.

"Keep your focus on the battle, BAKA SENPAI!" she cried as Delia let out a wail. The new knight tried desperately to help her, but she was held back by the rider's friends.

"CORDELIA!" Phila screeched, being held back as well and torn between her and the exalt.

"I….I can handle this, Captain Phila!" Blood poured from her wound, splattering over her pegasus's coat. "Your duty is with the exalt, not me!" She attempted to strike the rider, but evidently missed as her opponent brought her axe down on the lance's shaft, splintering it and her chances of survival.

"HOLD YOUR RANKS!" Chrom yelled, looking extremely conflicted. It gave me flashbacks of Prologue IV in Shadow Dragon. A sacrifice for the greater good. Maybe this was...No, we can't let her die. We can't.

I scrambled for my bow and some arrows, hoping I could do something. Maybe clip that stupid wyvern's wing. I was about to raise the bow, but then I realized Noah about to do something incredibly stupid. Oh, wait. He just did it. "Idiot!" I yelled. He'd just leaped across the chasm ("Fuck that... I can't let people die when I can help…" he'd said) and onto the wyvern, blade drawn. "You're going to get yourself—" The severed head of the wyvern somehow, by some law of physics, thrown from that distance, landed in my lap. "...Never mind." Hey, at least I now had a war trophy….

Oh, and now he was hurtling to the bottom of said chasm. OH, WAIT. Newbie caught him with her pegasus. Damn...Um. I mean, yay.

"What kind of stunt was that?" she asked, throwing him off when she reached solid ground.

"The kind where I saved someone's life." Noah replied, flicking his sword to rid it of the wyvern's and rider's blood

"IDIOT! I had her!"

"Really? From the looks of it, you were a bit preoccupied. Plus, you would've put yourself in that archer's line of sight." He pointed at said archer's remains. Newbie had killed him seconds before.

"This doesn't really follow videogame logic." At least someone gets what I've been trying to say all this time, even if she was never here until now. "Iris could have easily dodged that. You didn't need to be all heroic."

"Part of my job description," he shrugged. "I am assuming you are Scorpio or some zodiac bullshit?"

"Hey, my name's not "Scorpio or some zodiac bullshit". It's Dusty!" Dusty said, patting her pegasus's mane. "And this is Iris. She'll brutally murder you in your sleep if you're mean."

"That doesn't answer my question," Noah deadpanned.

She rolled her eyes. "Gee, what gave it away? That fact that I obviously don't belong here?"

"What do you know! You do have two brain cells to rub together!" Oh. Gods. No. No. Don't you do this to me. Why? Why are you making me deal with this?

And so it begins.

Oh, hey, Aquarius…..Nice of you to join the party.

"Oh, shut up!" Instead of staying to continue this verbal battle, she flew off. "If you really needed to say that then you might be the one lacking some brain cells."

Seeing as our side of the battlefield was free from wyvern riders, I rode over to where the others were. There was a scream and Sumia fell from her pegasus. Gaius sighed, caught her and ran to Lissa. Well, that certainly is something you do see everyday. Sumia down for the count yet again.

"Damn!" I heard Chrom cry out. "Sumia got hit by an arrow!"

Hah! Story of my life, right there! "Hate when that hap—" I stopped myself there, realizing that I should probably care a bit more if my comrade got hurt. "I mean, will she be all right?"

"She will, but her pegasus won't." He gestured towards the horse's now decaying carcass. An arrow protruding from the poor girl's forehead. "She died with an arrow between the eyes."

"Oh, wow…" I nudged the bonebag with my foot. "Poor creature. Well...Looks like she'll need another pegasus or pick up some other weapon...If she still wants to fight, that is."

He shook his head dismissively. "She hit her head in the fall, so I went to fight with someone else." Chrom sighed, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. "And to find that idiot who decided to play hero and declined to take orders."

"To be fair, Delia and that other knight, uh, Dusty, needed help." He frowned. Yeah, not what was wanted to be heard. "But….Uh, yeah, I guess that was foo—"

"Watch out!" I vaguely heard as I was shoved out of the way of a now dead myrmidon. Chrom turned to me as I just mentally slapped myself for not paying attention to the right thing. "You all right?"

"I'm fine." I crossed my arms indignantly. "I-I can handle myself. So d-don't you ever do that again, o-okay?" Wait…Did I just tsundere? Dammit, Erin! You're stooping to all different kinds of low today!

He rolled his eyes, smiling slightly, before becoming serious again. "The Shepherds need to be a team. If he can't be a team fighter, then he doesn't need to be a part of the Shepherds." Now it's my turn to sigh. Seriously, Chrom...You recruited Gaius! He was an enemy! You're scared that Mr Fancypants can't work with us when you recruit enemies?! Utter BS!

That mortal sure needs to be consistent with his preachings.

.Don't harm the innocence, Aquarius.

What? You were just going on about how—

Shhhhh…...Innocence…

*facepalm*

"Um...Okay. So how will this be decided?" I asked, trying my best to divide my attention this time. "...Just don't tell Robin what shipping is, if you ask him to set it up."

"You already told him, and yes, I am going to have to consult him on this."

I laughed awkwardly, "I-I did? Ha...ha...Right, woops. You...You just go do that then...I need to check on certain idiots. Bye-bye!"

"Take care," he muttered as I slunk away.

Now...What idiots to check up on first? Oh! How about our Star Crossed Lovers over here?

"Star crossed" is a way of saying it...Do not use that term lightly when speaking with stars, mortal.

Awe, meanie. What about you? Do you have a star crossed lover?

...

...Aqua?

Whatever. It didn't take me to find them because it was one big stare line after Chrom. Look, example. He's standing there, cape fluttering. And look who's here! Dealz! And what's she looking at? Chrom. Who's looking at her? Brandon. But the question of the day is, who's looking at Brandon? Why don't we find out the scoop? How long will it take? The full battle or five minutes? Find out...right now.

I ran up to the subjects of my research. "Hey, guys!"

There's Cordelia, staring at the walking heartbreaker! "Wow. Chrom looks so hot the way his cape flutters in the wind..."

Now, as a reporter, I strive to see through my subject's or subjects' eyes. I took this moment to do so. "I know..." Um...Heh. "I mean...Uhhh...There is a battle going on, you two!"

I seemed to have been ignored, since Gonzy walked in front of Delia, placing himself in the wind's path and, most of all, blocking her view of Chrom. "My shirt sleeves flutter in the wind!"

Cordelia shoved him out of the way, muttering a "That's nice" before staring at Chrom once more.

I sighed. "Fine. Ignore me then."

"His jaw is so defined..." She leaned on her lance as she said this, sighing like a stereotypical lovesick girl.

"Delia..." I poked her, the teenage girl buried somewhere inside me silently agreeing with what she said.

"And he has such broad shoulders..."

Brandon frowned, poking her as well. "Delia..."

"And I bet you ten gp that he is hung like a pega—" To keep her from disturbing us with her obsession, we both decided to cut her off.

"DELIA!"

"What?" Cordelia snapped out of her stupor, gripping her lance tightly.

"There is a battle going on…" I deadpanned.

"RIGHT! Thanks!" She jumped up and onto her pegasus, throwing javelins and wrecking everyone's shit….

I facepalmed, muttering, "Dammit, Chrom. We're going to need to hide you do she actually fights."

My musing was interrupted by a certain stereotypical boss. "What do you think you are doing? Why aren't you even paying attention to me? Why are you just arguing the entire time? Do you know who I am? I am Vast—" He yelped.

Dusty seems to have returned, since this was directed at her and Noah's ongoing sibling-like squabbling. She apparently "poked" him with her lance, giving reason to why he screamed. "And you are a stupid shithead hero complex person with girl issues! You are so cliche!"

"At least I'm not a psychopath with no human emotions!" They both landed next to me, not letting off.

I sighed, feeling a headache coming on. "...Can you stop bickering and actually fight?"

"NO!"

"Actually," Robin swaggered on over, holding his "Ship Tome" in his hands, "the battle is over, and together those two took out more than half of the Plegians….While arguing."

Their arguing continued in the background as I conversed with Robin.

"Your mama's so fat, that she went to the whale family reunion!"

"AT LEAST I HAVE A MOTHER!"

"How do you….." I sighed again. "Never mind. So, Robby….What next?"

"Apparently, we have to go to Ferox to get more forces." He leafed through the pages of the tome. "While we are there, I was thinking we could do a series of skirmishes to test the compatibility of units."

"Oh?" That makes sense, I guess. "I suppose that'll be optimal since we're facing the real deal. Not that is was that hard."

We were interrupted yet again by our arguing idiots.

"... And that is why your mom was a dog!"

"At least my mom wasn't a cockroach."

"Will you two stop?" I was quickly reaching my breaking point. "We're trying to have a decent conv—Robby! Don't leave me!" He slowly edged his way out of view.

"Aren't you coming with? I am moving away from the bickering."

That, Robby, makes perfect sense. "...Geez, right. This is why you're the tactician."

"And the Shipping Lord."

Oh, gods….

It seems that you've unleashed a beast.

"...What have I done?" I muttered, wondering what the true majority of the situation was. Robin seemed to not care about my question, cupping his chin in thought.

"You….said this was a….board game? Right?"

"Err...Yes? Metaphorically speaking." Well, I can't exactly say that this was all a game to me...So, yeah. We'll go with that.

"And that there were certain people I could ship in this board game?"

"Yes…"

"Can you tell me who can be shipped with who?"

I nodded, reaching for my 3DS. "So what you're saying is that I'm going to teach the Master Tactician how to play matchmaker?" I laughed at the idea, thinking of a suitable title for myself. "From now on, you must call me Master!" Robin did not look amused. "A-ahem...Okay. Supports. That's what the convos that must take place for the ship to sail are called. Direct your attention to the device." I scrolled through the menu and went to the collection of supports that had been obtained so far. "For example, you and Maribelle have a B Support. You'll talk to her one more time before deciding whether or not you want to marry her. After that, you'll talk to her again and propose."

Robin's face reddened as he coughed to cover it up. "And what else?"

"If you are unsure if a conversation was a support or not, you can view said conversation here…" I went over to Maribelle's name on the list and clicked on the B. Rather than the usual support scenery, an animation much like a cutscene played.

"Uh...L-let's not play that one…." He insisted, forcing the scene to skip.

"Fine. Let's see here...How about this one?" I went to the top and pressed on….

"Robin. Is there need for me to question your preference?" I asked, referring to the support that was playing.

"...What do you mean?"

"So this must be the weapon supply….." The camera showed a very steamy tent. Other than that fact, it blended in pretty well with the surrounding ones. "And the swords should be right here….OH SHIT. THAT IS NOT A S—"

"..." I quickly skipped the scene before it became...graphic.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Robin yelled defensively, pulling on his coat collar as of trying to sink into its dark confines.

Aquarius? Why does our dear friend Robin have the female Robin's supports?

I'm afraid Scorpio had a hand in that. He was rather...excited with the idea of screwing these poor souls over.

"Is it safe to assume that the opposite happened as well?" I muttered.

"Y-yeah…"

"No wonder you're best friends." I thought over that script again. "...And what about the sword? You didn't..."

"No."

"Okay."

"..."

"..."

"So you were saying?"

"Right…" I went back to the supports list and went to Sumia's icon. "So, some units cannot have supports, so no ship. Sumia can only S Support with you, Gaius, Frederick and….Chrom. She can have friendly supports with Cordelia and Sully."

"Hm...She must break a lot of hearts then." He looked over the names. "So that's why you suggested Gaius after everyone else failed?"

"Yep. I take those things into consideration, Robby." I scrolled to his name. "Now, Robby, you're a special case. You can support with anyone we meet and S Support with any female…." Huh? There's S's next to males' names too. "Actually, apparently this supports yaoi pairings. So scratch that, you can S Support with everyone. Congrats."

"...Hm. But eventually the Shepherds may have children."

How….

He doesn't know. Don't worry about it.

Okay...Good.

"So," Robin continued, "these 'yaoi pairings' of yours will not work if we want to make a strong successor generation for the Shepherds. We need that army of supersoldiers. Yes! I shall make genetically perfect wa—"

"WOAH! Hold your horses, Hitler!" I apologize if I bothered anyone with that statement, but this was seriously reminding me of the ethical issues behind genetic manipulation. "Robin, you can only push a ship so far. In the end, it'll have to catch the wind in its sails on its own. There may or may not be a possibility of this second generation as well. The next generation of Ylissean royalty might not want to continue the Shepherds. If they're peaceful like Emmeryn or lazy like Lissa, there's a low chance."

"And if they're like our fearless leader?"

"They, whoever they may be, will definitely continue the tradition. Though, the idea of little Chromions running around terrifies me. Breaking things, being thick as a brick and overly trusting; enough to ask a bear or cricket to join the Shepherds, will kill me."

"Indeed….What about you outsiders? Who do you support with?"

"Not exactly sure. I've searched this countless times and can't find anything on myself or the others." I shrugged. "Maybe they'll appear when you figure out your ideal pairings for us."

"So, what you're saying is; the only real wild cards are those from your world since you don't know who you can support?" He analyzed the situation, scribbling into his Ship Tome.

I nodded in confirmation. "A vague idea really...but I'll leave that to you to figure out."

"Then I will focus on you guys for the tournament." The tactician flipped the page he was on and began to draw a little chart, filling in a few pairings already.

"Ehh, okay. So when do we get to Ferox? Like how soon after we arrive?"

"About a day or so. Might as well get it over with."

"All right…" I glanced around, spotting the two bickering elite soldiers. "Those idiots are still at it."

"And so that is why you are worse than shit!" Noah yelled, seemingly stumping Dusty.

"Well….at least I'm not like….Like..." The pegasus knight desperately grasped for some comeback and shot back. "THOSE VILLAGERS IN PARALOGUE 3!"

"YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO THEM?"

If there were a sword, I'd probably fall on it right now, but there wasn't, so I just facepalmed, sighing, "Gods, and I thought I was immature. Can you please stop fighting like children?"

But still, OF COURSE, Noah proceeded to insult Dusty. "And your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

"At least I don't get my insults from Monty Python!" Dusty spat.

I massaged my temples, trying to ward away my now pounding headache. "Seriously. Stop."

"Why? This is fun!"

"Because one; nothing of what you have said has been very nice." I ticked off my fingers. "...And two; you're annoying."

"I have been trying to get her to stop bothering me for the past hour," Noah explained, earning a gasp from Dusty.

"Wait...All of your insults were serious? Wasn't this like friendship or something?!" Their bickering started anew. This went on for several minutes as Robin and I just kept bashing our heads into the canyon wall. That was until Noah made a very wise choice.

"You know what? Fuck you guys! I am out!" He walked off in the direction of the camp that had been set up near the entrance to a cave.

"And good riddance!" Dusty yelled after him.

"You know, you could've…" I sighed. "Never mind."

She gained a faraway look in her eyes and rolled her eyes. "Tell Aqua to never give Scorp control of the cable. High School Musical has been playing on repeat for the past two days."

I let out a sniff as memories rushed back. "My childhood...E-Er...Anyway...So you're part of all this schtick?"

"Apparently, so~," she mused. "Who else is involved?"

"Well, currently, we have Aquarius, aka me, Capricorn, Pisces, Libra, Sagittarius, Virgo, Cancer...I believe that is it." I counted everyone off with my fingers.

She stared at Rei and the others critically as Rei simultaneously lit them all on fire. "Hm...Nicknames...Fanboy or Chum Chum for the Cordelia geek over there?"

"Oh dear...That show."

" I never had a TV. But when you have Scorpio as your sign, you learn a lot of new shit fast. ..DAMMIT HE DISCOVERED ICARLY!"

"ICARLY WAS MY LIFE—I mean, what...?"

"I smell chocolate." She stopped, head raised to sniff the air. "Rich milk chocolate, truffles, to be precise... GAIUS COME BACK HERE NAO!" Dusty grabbed Iris's reigns and and flew off after Gaius.

"Geez, Aquarius…." I muttered to myself, forgetting how that made me look like a crazy person. "What's up with your family?"

I never said we were….the same.

{NEW SHIP! CARLY AND FRED-BOY!}

Wh-who?

Meet Scorpio...My idiotic half-brother spawn of Apollo.

...Awe...Why can't you be fun like that? I wanna watch reruns!

{Climb in Dusty's head with me! It's legit!}

She will be doing nothing of the sort. That isn't important. Now we must focus on—

{PARTY POOPER! This is just like the time you wouldn't let me set fire to the rain as I sang Adele and drew on Virgo's face!}

Maybe because in doing so, you were hurting me in Pisces.

{Psh, not important! I WAS GONNA GIVE HER A BEAUTIFUL MUSTACHIO!}

.How am I related to this dingbat?

{You know you love me, sis….. ICARLY FOR LIFE! NOW SAM IS WAIFUS! No, kidding…. ONLY YOU SHARPAY!}

"Hunt you down without mercy!" Damn. That sounded like Noah. I wonder what went down? "Hunt you down all nightmare long!"

"...That's only if you can catch me, shithead!" Dusty yelled, apparently that statement was meant for her. "I HAVE A PEGGY THAT WILL STOMP YOUR FACE IN! NOT THAT THERE WOULD BE MUCH A DIFFERENCE IN HOW IT LOOKS EITHER WAY!"

Children.

Idiots.

{Fun!}

There was a crunch from behind us, causing us to turn and see Panne trying to block out sound. "That man spawn with the guitar is making it so I can't sleep."

"This is all so fascinating…" Robin muttered, taking even more notes.

"Yeah…" I said, not being able to focus due to the quarrel that was now going on inside my head. "Wait. It isn't! It's annoying!"

Dusty absently muttered to herself. "Nowi is adorable! Are gay marriages canon?" She looked at Robin and he shook his head. "No? FUCK YOU RULES!"

Hmph. It'd do you all good to quiet down.

{*turns up TV to max volume with the addition of K-Pop*}

GODSDAMMIT, SCORPIO!

{GEEZ! NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS STUPID K-POP TOO?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!}

{YEAH, THE ICARLY LOVE IS REAL!}

Try living with that...

Panne crossed her arms and growled. "That manspawn needs to stop. Can one of you stop him?"

"I got it…" Robin sighed, starting to walk over to Noah's tent. "Anything to keep your from eating my toes…What?"

Overall, I think his attempt was successful. Though in the the hilarity category and not the victory category. Why do I say this? Well, seconds after he left, we all watched as the tactician was flung from the tent. A loud bang was heard as the convoy collapsed and a yelp when he evidently landed on the pile of sharp weapons. And as if things couldn't get a weirder, music randomly began to play.

Mortals….They can't get anything done correctly.

H-hey! I am productive!

Right?

RIGHT?!

Panne walked over to the convoy and dragged a bloody Robin out. She threw him at our feet and glared at us menacingly. "This manspawn failed. Who else wants to try?"

"Ooo, me!" Dusty waved her hand in the air. "No-No and me are friends now, right?"

I sighed. "...That's a bad idea…"

"Arguing is fun~!" she exclaimed and then decided to change the subject. "You wanna play together~?"

Panne frowned down at her. "The point is to get him to stop!"

"But the point was to piss off people, wasn't it? Because annoying super-powered Shepherds is fun!"

Children.

Idiots.

{Fun!}

Long story short, the Shepherds did not get any sleep that night. It became a high stakes contest to see who could play better. Which Noah won...Sorry, some unknown force *cough* Noah *cough* made me write that. The victor had not yet been determined.

PHEW. Finally. Done! That was longer than usual...Mostly because we got carried away with the script. So. The mind speaking does become confusing, so I'll put a list below this!

Aquarius

Erin

{Dusty}

{Scorpio}

So, yeah. In this chapter, Dusty joined the lil' gang as Scorpio's host! If you don't know already, she's DustedWithStars! Go over and check out her stuff!

Now, without any further ado, this chap's BTS!

Rei: For the llamas! With the llamas! That is all bitches, I rest my case.

Noah: That would have been a good ending to a speech, if there was a beginning or middle...

Rei: Wait...This isn't the Save the Llamas Foundation assembly? Damnit.

Noah: No, this is my apartment.

Rei: Godsdammit, Anna! I'm going to kill you for this!

Noah: Meh. *Tappity Tap Tap Tap Fire tome appears* You want a fire tome? Just keep the carnage away from my house.

Rei: *cackles, thunder booms* This will do nicely...*vanishes, Anna's screams are heard throughout all the realms*

Noah: That will have no lasting effect on the multiverse whatsoever...

Henry: Hey! Have you seen either of my potential Waifus here?

Erin: No...I think she may be blowing up Plegia *boom* ...as we speak.

Henry: Which one?

Noah: Either.

Henry: Of Corpse.

Erin: ...That isn't funny. I don't know what Dusty sees in you.

Noah: She doesn't know what you see in Chrom... She does see what I see in Liv. That kinda worries me.

Lucas: What did you say about Liv?

Noah: Bro. Back the fuck off.

Erin: I sense a storm brewing...And so the Waifu War begins.

Lucas: Eh, what? A war? Th-there's really no need for one.

Noah: You are right. Liv is obviously going to end up with me.

Erin: Hey, Gonzy! Whatcha starin at?

Gonzy: Boobies. I am staring at Boobies.

Erin: Hey Cordelia, whatcha starin at?

Cordelia: *sigh* Chrom.

Erin: Hey Chrom, whatcha starin at?

Chrom: Boobies. Erm... I mean that pegasus knight over there.

Erin: Hey Sumia. Whatcha starin at?

Sumia: Umm... This book Noah sold me.

Erin: Right, right...

Sumia: Something to do with shades of grey.

Erin: ...Rei! Get the Fire tome!

Rei: ...

Erin: Gods, what are you staring at?

Rei: Dat ass.

Erin: ...What are you staring at, Stahl?

Stahl: That cheesecake over there. I will not let it tempt me ANYMORE!

Erin: Hey cheesecake, whatcha starin at?

Cheesecake: *says nothing... Because it is a cheesecake.*

Erin: Right...Hey, Violeta, what are you staring at?

Violeta: Ummm... NOTHING! Totally not that hot guy in a set of armor! Totally not him! HAHAHAHAHA!

Erin: O...kay. Am I the only one not staring at...*stares at Chrom* ...

Noah: I can play guitar. Who has requests?

Erin: Hm...The second opening for Attack on Titan?

Noah: Excellent choice! *begins playing*

Olivia: Gerudo Valley!

*Changes song*

Dusty: Nowi is so cute! She's my waifu, besides Oli. I wonder if I can marry her...

Robin: *crashes through roof* NO! YOU CAN ONLY MARRY A BOY!

Dusty: WHAT?! WHY?! BITCH!

Robin: BECAUSE GAY MARRIAGE ISN'T ALLOWED IN FEA! AND YOU NEED TO MAKE A SUPERPOWERED KID FOR MY ARMY!

Dusty: DAMMIT, RULES!

*boom!*

Robin: ...What was that?

Dusty: The sound of Gaius exploding. He tried to take my chocolate.

Robin: ...Right. I'm leaving, then.

Erin: Hey, Rei? Whatcha writing?

Rei: A letter….And then I'm going to blow shit up! I love it and it's weird because—*shot*

Erin: Mmm whatcha say~ Mmm, that you only meant well?~ Well, of course you did~ Mmm whatcha say?~ Mmm, that's it's all for the best?~ Mmm, that's just what we need, you decided this~ Mmm, whatcha you say? Mmm. What. Did. You. Say?~ *drops tome* OH MY GOD. NO. WE. ARE. NOT. DOING. TH—*shot*

Rei: Mmm whatcha say~ Mmm, that you only meant well?~ Well, of course you did~ Mmm whatcha say?~ Mmm, that's it's all for the best?~ Mmm, that's just what we need, you decided this~ Mmm, whatcha you say? Mmm. What. Did. You. Say?~

Lucas: Hey, guys, I was gonna go get a pizza—*shot* The fuck….

Erin: Mmm whatcha say~ Mmm, that you only meant well?~ Well, of course you did~ Mmm whatcha say?~ Mmm, that's it's all for the best?~ Mmm, that's just what we need, you decided this~ Mmm, whatcha you say? Mmm. What. Did. You. Say?~

Brandon: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?! *picks up letter* Dear Friend, by the time you read this—*shot*

Lucas:Mmm whatcha say~ Mmm, that you only meant—

Erin: *shoots Brandon* Mmm whatcha say~ Mmm, that you only meant well?~ Well, of course you did~ Mmm whatcha say?~ Mmm—

Rei: *shoots Brandon* Mmm, whatcha say—

Lucas: *shoots Brandon* Mmm—

Rei: *shoots Brandon* Mmm, whatcha—

Erin: *shoots Brandon* Mmm whatcha say~ Mmm—

Lucas: *shoots Brandon* Mmm whatcha—YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS! I'M OUT BIT—*is shot by everyone*

*Dusty and Noah walk in*

Dusty: WOW. This was a bloodbath…

Noah: Heh, yeah. Look at this. *picks up letter* Dear Friend, by the time you read this, I'd have killed us all. Erin will shoot me, I'll shoot her, Lucas will walk in talking about pizza and Erin will shoot him and then Brandon will walk in and we'll all shoot him repeatedly. Love, Rei. P.S. Then two of our friends will read this letter and kill each other. ….That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever-

Dusty: *shoots Noah* Mmm, whatcha say—

Noah: *shoots Dusty* Mmm, whatcha—

Dusty: *shoots Noah* Mmm—

Noah: *shoots Dusty* Mmm—

*everyone is dead now. Yay.*

Woops...My hand slipped.