Just to recap, that last chapter ended with us searching for Kellam. I understand that this is a weird place to split, but it made each chapters' length equal. About 5000 words each.


Chapter 16: The Trials: Part Two

Just then a small voice, presumably Kellam's, came from the darkest corner of...wherever we were. The training grounds. "Right here."

"Gods!" I jumped where I stood and glared at where his voice came from. "Kellam, don't do that!"

Robin looked down at his book and asked, "What did you ship again, Kellam?" since there wasn't anything written next to his name for any of the ships.

"Kellam harem…." was all I heard before I lost track of where he was.

"I thought he was Kellam, not Kirito…." Robby muttered, making me question the extent of his knowledge. If he knows that, does he know how the game ends? Does he know about all the universes? The gods?

"Kirito...What...Er, never mind." I sighed when he gave me 'herp derp' expression, which was….unexpected, but alas... "So what do you expect to happen when we get ideal pairs? Do you want us to go fly off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?"

"Except it turns out to be a mechanical flying cat."

I just stared at him wide eyed.

...Wut?

...It's a passing phase. It seems whatever is holding onto his memories is trying to suppress them with useless ones. Like random facts from some of the universes.

"Anyway, let's see what's happening!" He clapped his hands once and looked over at Liv and Noah's performance. He had just sent them out and already there were countless corpses.

Their combo was a dance of death. As soon as one strike had passed, two more were zooming in for the kill. Their movements flowed perfectly into one another, as if they had been fighting together for years instead of a mere five minutes. No Risen could stand against the constant flow of steel like a river. When the last Risen was killed, they both simply turned back to us, and bowed in unison.

Robin gaped at the duo, quickly looking from them and his tome. "Ummmmmm... Can I start to doubt my ship yet?"

"Nope!" Okay, maybe I am biased and can't let my ship sink. "You should always back up your ship! Don't doubt the ship! It will get you far in...life. Yeah. Life."

At one point, Lucas made his way over to watch. And now he looked like he had something to say, by the way he bit his lip. Though, I don't know what it'd be about because his 'somethings to says' are normally directed at me and what just happened clearly didn't involve me.

"Um…" He shifted awkwardly, as if debating something. "What just happened?"

"We fought a bunch of Risen," Noah, who had made his way over to Robin with Liv, deadpanned.

"I thought I told you to leave her be…" Lucas murmured, taking a metaphorical match and setting the house on fire. Yeah. He totally loves her. He always gets this way when he loves a girl. He's all quiet and derpy and tries to kindly tell the other person to back the fuck off. I should know b-What am I kidding? I never had the satisfaction of turning him down. Sigh.

Our resident ninja began to twitch, obviously annoyed by that statement. "Can't exactly do that if I am ordered to fight with her, can I, Smalls?" Now, it's really something to call him short because he's actually very tall, but compared to Noah, he was a midget.

"I'm not short….And just...don't bother her out of battles, all right?" he pleaded.

"Maybe you should grow a thicker skin instead, Smalls." Noah replied rather harshly. "I for one, am interested in interacting with another human being. I am not going to let one man's words stop me."

Lucas seemed to begin his retreat into himself, hiding emotions to avoid pain. "...Fine, but hurt or bother her in any way and I'll…."

Aww…~ He loooooves her!~

Shh. I'm trying to enjoy the show.

But-

SHHH.

"Wasn't planning on it."

Olivia coughed to make her presence known to Edward and Jacob. "Y-you should stop talking as if I am not here."

"Right…." Lucas murmured. "Sorry, Liv."

"Y-you should stop smothering me Lucas. Just b-because you like me, doesn't mean I can't talk to other boys." She hugged herself like she always does when uncomfortable.

"Translation: Calm the fuck down bro." Gee, Noah, thanks for the clarification. I'm sure he didn't need it. ...Well, actually, he probably did.

"Sorry...I'm just trying to repay you for helping me that one time…" Lucas hesitantly formed his BS/makes sense reply. "I guess I'm a bit protective, sorry…."

"...How sexist are you?" Noah asked, earning a look of confusion from Lucas.

"Excuse me?"

"In the army, you are being saved CONSTANTLY. What makes Liv rescuing you any different? If you are basing all of your supposed "romantic connection" off of that, then you are deluding yourself. Just because she is a girl and she rescued you means that you have some sort of love interest? What about boys who rescue you?" Well, that came from left field. Are you sure you know the whole story there?

"...Where'd any of that come from? What's wrong with me wanting to do my part? We keep each other safe...I don't understand how that qualifies."

"I would believe you if you were speaking with your whole heart. What happened to protective you? "I thought I told you not to go near her!" Yet you sit there and pretend you have no feelings. That is where this comes from. Make sure your story makes sense before you go telling it." A Lucas is a confusing creature, you see….I wouldn't be surprised.

"And that's where you're wrong. I do care."

"Then stop pretending you don't." With that, Noah walked away.

Robin sighed, snapping his fingers. His assistant, Jimmy, raised a rescue staff and brought Noah back. Thankfully, Lucas and Liv had already left, preventing another fight or something. "That won't do. That ship must sail. You'll have to try with Lissa. She needs a bodyguard."

Noah sighed, clearly wanting no part of this. "What happened to Lon'qu babysitting the princess?"

"He has been all depressed lately. He was playing with these black butterflies and not paying attention to Lissa. She almost died twice. Okay, not die, but seriously hurt. Almost fell down a well." As Robin said this, Lissa walked up, staff in hand.

" So... They were because of her own stupidity…" Noah sighed again as Lissa pouted indignantly, crossing her arms over her chest, while somehow maintaining a firm hold on her healing staff.

"I take offense to that!" she exclaimed, rather awkwardly.

"There would be something wrong with you if you didn't."

Robin chuckled, pulling out another reeking box and emptying it. "See? Already fighting like an old married couple. Now, off you go!"

Compared to his last performance, this one was underwhelming. All that happened was Noah killing some Risen, getting hit, Lissa heals. Rinse and repeat. Nothing particularly special happened, but Robin apparently thought otherwise.

"WHY ARE YOU SO RECKLESS?" Lissa yelled after the din of battle had ended.

"Why are you so nagging?"

I hugged myself as I came across the ship. "Ship! Ship! I ship it!" I turned to our glorious tactician. "What about you, Robby?"

He evaluated the situation, nodding slightly. "I... See it will take some work."

Lissa, apparently, had other ideas as she screamed at the top of her lungs. "I WANT LON'QU BACK! THIS GUY SUCKS!"

"No can do, Lissa." Robin shook his head. "Lon'qu lost that duty because...butterflies, apparently."

"So, he went emo…?" I mused, getting a weird glance from Robin.

"...Ignoring that. So Chrom decided that you needed a new bodyguard. ...Why did he not ask Frederick? I don't know."

"Chrom doesn't trust me." Noah protested. "Why would he want me to babysit his sister?"

"It's not like he said you would do it. We were going to leave it up to this. You're the only one who's done something productive with her."

"This is bullshit luck. The love of my life gets to traipse around with Lucas while I get to babysit." Noah sighed as Lissa let out an indignant huff.

"I don't need to be babysat!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Then if you need "protection" or whatever, come find me. I am a busy man with things to do." He walked off as Robin and I let out sighs of defeat.

"Hmph, fine!" Lissa yelled, trying to go elsewhere, but where she wanted to go just happened to be in the same direction.

Robin sighed again and asked, "Is it too late to switch to Noah x Olivia?"

Surprised by how the Shipping Lord was trying to burn one of his ships, I immediately tried to stop it. "I'm afraid so, Robin. They are on the verge of an A, according to my...otherworldly tech. It will be hard to catch up since he has never fought with her before today."

"Yes but... Something about those two doesn't feel right... Or is it just me?"

"Shhhhh. It's just you, Robin that I've taken under my wing! Wait, what bird does that make me—"

"No, it is me too." Kellam appeared out of nowhere once more, causing me to jump in surprise. "She isn't a part of my harem if she is married to that guy." ...Well, she isn't part of your harem is she marries anyone, Kellam.

"...Disgrace. ...Anyway, so, Robby...As I was saying, it's just you. Kellam doesn't count since he lacks presence." I vaguely heard him say something like:

"Hey! That isn't true! Why are you ig... It's started again. Damn."

"But I'm the Master Tactician," Robin insisted, "so my bad feelings are right! So…This can't work!"

"Then who is going to watch over Lissa, genius?" How about that Robin? ANSWER THAT!

He pursed his lips in thought. "Um...Maybe Fred...No...fine. I'll let this ship sail, then."

I heard a response from Kellam once again, but chose to ignore it as usual. "Will it sail though? It doesn't seem like it will hold. It is a ragged thing even by not me harem standards."

Nevertheless, I cheered him on. "That's the spirit, Robin! We'll sail this ship to the New World~"

Kellam began to yell, "WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING? I DOUBT IT WILL MAKE IT OUT OF PORT!" but I still, honestly, care enough to acknowledge it.

"Now, if only she could use some form of weapon as well...I'll have to look into it. Maybe tomes? I'll ask Miriel about that…" Robin murmured.

"Why not a big battle axe or something? Tomes are overrated." Oh, it's seems like Kellam is gone now. Good. Now I don't have to focus to screw him over.

I took this moment to collect my thoughts, since Robin had his head buried in his Shipping Tome again. Okay, so apparently the ships that worked were: Rei and Stahl, Brandon and Cordelia (we had to move Chrom off of the premises), Lucas and Olivia, Violeta and Frederick, Noah and Lissa, and Dusty and Ricken. Dylan and Miyaji still haven't found suitable partners. I'd say that went rather well, despite what Robin thought.

"Who ended up being my sister's bodyguard?" Chrom walked up at some point, bear free, while we were both lost in our thoughts.

I looked at Chrom fearfully, patting Robin's shoulder for moral support. "You better handle that one, Robby~" With that I hid behind him as Chrom raised a brow.

"Ummm…." Robin trembled slightly, scared of his best friend's wrath; not knowing the lengths he would go to 'protect' Lissa. "Noah."

He stiffened, moving his hand to Falchion. "Greenie?"

You know, I've always wondered...Is Falchion like some comfort 'toy' for him? He seems to always reach for it when he's either angry, annoyed, scared or even the slightest bit depressed. Though I'm only assuming that last one. He never seemed depressed.

"...Yes."

Cue snapping noise.

*crack*

"GODS! THAT IDIOT? WHO'S LUDICROUS IDEA WAS THAT?"

Thanks.

"It was Erin's!" WHAT?! SCREW YOU! He proceeded to turn and force me forward like a little brother would. In this case, big brother.

"ERIN…." That is one scary gaze.

Heh. Heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh….I'M NOT FREAKING OUT OR ANYTHING. D-DON'T THINK THAT!

The thing that bothers me is the fact that you thought that all, laughing included, and then tsundered.

….Screw you.

I gave him a sideways two-finger-salute and meekly said, "...Sup?"

His blue eyes flared briefly before softening. "I forgive you. Now I have to go save my sister." Now he's gone…I pray for you, Noah. You may not come out of that alive.

"Phew...Okay, bye then."

"You... OTP." Robin said, bewildered at how Chrom's anger deteriorated so quickly and scared of the bloodbath yet to come. "Those two... Their blood... It is on my hands..."

"Oh well...Looks like the Sheps will be short a member." I shrugged. I'm not that worried, to be frank.

"Why did you even ship them in the first place?"

"Because old married couple. It was too cute."

"Do you even know what that means? It means they argue because they care! Those two hate one another!" Huh? Did I hear something? Nah. Must be nothing.

"And old married couples care for each other so they argue...I see." Robin nodded sagely. "This will work out nicely."

"ITS AS IF I DON'T EXIST!" Kellam looked at the reader, stealing Erin's PoV for a moment. "You know I exist... Don't you?"

"Glad we're on the same page, Robby. Oh, the ships we'll sail!"

"Don't listen to them! Spam the review section! The PM's! This won't work out!" Kellam continued to yell, tapping the camera's lens sharply. Realizing his efforts were in vain, he returned the PoV to its rightful owner, letting out a sigh of indignation.

"What's next?" Robin asked. "Shipping animals? Reptiles? Oh! How about wyverns!" The foreshadowing is real.

I was about to answer him, but the gunshot to my songbird interrupted me. "Hail oh beautiful maiden!" Gee. I wonder who that is.

"Close…" I answered, deciding to be witty and pointed at the slippery snake. "Edgeworth over here."

The tactician snickered. "Hm...I see what you did there."

"Heh, pretty good, huh?" I tapped my chin in thought, going through a mental list of the females that can support with Virion. "Maribelle. They deserve each other."

"NO!" Robin yelled defensively. Oh~ That is blackmail worthy, I believe. "Er...I mean, she absolutely despises other nobles, you know. She told me over tea once. She said she'd pick the 'brute's' side of the fight."

Virion looked at Robin questioningly. "Tell me, since when have you been having tea with lovely maidens such as Maribelle?"

"...OH YEAH!" Robin cleared his throat awkwardly. "We still haven't tested you and Erin yet, Virion!"

Heh. HAH. HAH HAH. HAH. I glared at the tactician. Not just any glare though, the glare. "...Heh, Robby? Why is there need for me to aid this already archest of archers? Do you have so little faith? Or do you have a death wish?"

"Every hero needs a sidekick," he choked out; shuddering.

"Tell me, Miss Erin...Do you like flowers?" Virion asked. It took all my willpower to not kill him.

"No. Non mi piace fiore…" He's European or some shit, he'll understand what I said.

"Music?" Huh, guess he did.

I LOVE MUSIC, BUT I HATE YOU! "No."

"Dancing?" Who are you, Inigo? No. Those first six years of my life were torture with all that ballet, tap and girly-Wait, that was sexist. I mean, I just don't enjoy it. And I can't ballroom dance.

"I hate it."

"What do you like, Miss Erin?"

"You," He seemed to brighten up, before I proceeded to crush him, "in a hole, dead." He seemed unperturbed, and flipped his hair out of his eyes.

"My lady! There is no need for such violence!" He grabbed my hand, and you could practically see the sparkles coming off of him. "Come, let us fly away like beautiful birds, dear Erin, and live far from this bloody battlefield!" Wasn't that his Classic retreat quote? I wish he would retreat... "Because with our love... We can do anything."

"Hmph." I shifted my weight to one hip, and would've crossed my arms if he wasn't holding my hand creepily. "Robin? Do I really have to waste time with this?" Seriously, I have better things to do. Like prank the shit out of Robin with Lissa or read or draw (attempt to) or even play my godsdamn flute.

Oh, look! There's Chrom! Maybe he could help me escape. Okay, I'll kick Virion in the face and Mr. Prince over there can restrain him as I bolt! Perf- "Dearest Erin… Will you marry me?" ...WHAT? WAIT. Don't go away! Godsdammit, Chrom! What's with the 'well, fuck face?!' Why you leave me? With this...this thing?

"...No. I don't even know you, nor do I care!" I ripped my hand from his grasp and walked away, ready to chew out Chrom for bailing on me.

Geez. I'd never expect him to ditch when I was in obvious danger, like, that's really out of character. So naturally, I had to reprimand him for it. I ran down the hall, Virion following like a bitch. He kept yelling out words like "My love!" and "Please, wait!". Fed up with it, I quickly rounded a corner and jumped into a closet.

"My lady! Wait! My love!" he yelled. Thankful for cliche movie logic applying here, I let out a sigh of relief and opened the closet door slowly, peering out to make sure he's gone. He was a ways down the hall, but still in earshot, so I had to be careful. Sneak. Sneak…

THERE HE IS! …Oh. He's speaking with Virion or something.

"…impending engagement with Ms. Fedelta! Making us Mr. and Mrs. Edgeworth. Yes, Your Exaltedness! I was just planning on distributing invitations to all the Shepherds!" I heard Virion say, shuddering. Thank Naga he isn't facing me, or I'd be in for a hell.

Wait. WHAT?! MRS. EDGEWORTH?! WHAT THE FUCK?! ASDFGHJKL!

Leaning against the wall, waiting to pounce, I saw that Chrom looked extremely uncomfortable. Or was he extremely pissed and ready to murder Virion? I could never tell. "That's…Great," he replied, trying to escape, but to no avail.

"I do believe that our wedding shall take place in the spring right between those two trees near that forest we met in." Virion began to traverse into his baseless fantasies, pulling a Tamaki. "Those cherry blossoms would look magnificent with that dress…"

"Huh."

The archer glanced at Chrom briefly and did an 'aha!' gesture. "I do believe that you will make a wonderful best man."

"I need alcohol." You and me both, Chrom. You and me both. …Wait, you meant it? I am referring to the flask he is procuring from space and time. So, it came out of nowhere.

"Yes, we will! Elderberry wines, and thick foamy ales, and—" At this moment, Chrom pulled off the cap and began chugging the wine. Virion did a double take, tilting his head and looking up at the prince questioningly. "Are you all right, my good sir?"

"Fine." And then he hiccupped. HICCUPPED. He's drunk off his ass after just that? Someone has low tolerance. I can't believe he's gone that far though. It's just Virion, so…Wait…OH GODS, HE'S REACHING FOR IT AGAIN!

"You really shouldn't drink like that!" I ran down the hall, karate chopped it, grabbed it as it flew out of his gloved hand and bonked him on the head. "Don't drink! I know he's annoying, but…"

"Congratulations, you two," Chrom said, stumbling slightly. Gods, this is embarrassing…Make it stop. "I hope you have a happy life."

"Happy life?" Is this about that 'Mr. and Mrs. Edgeworth thing'? "What do you mean?" I raised a brow, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Your marriage!" Chrom said in an overly cheery tone that made me cringe. "Virion told me everything. He wants be to be the best man. What an honor!"

Narf. What? I think I feel my lunch…Gag. "Why the hell would I marry that ass?!" That is one terrifying look you have on your face, Chrom. I hope that is not directed at me.

"Virion…" he growled.

Virion seemed to lose all of his gall, shrinking and his hands up defensively. "Yes, may good sir?"

"Bite the curb." Oh gods…Is he really going to do this? Yep. Yep he is. He just punched Edgeworth in the mug. I'd like to believe he was just doing this because he was intoxicated, but I dunno anymore.

"Are you sure you should be doing this, Chrom? What if someone else sees this? Wouldn't that make you look bad?" Apparently, my words had some affect as he let Virion go. The noble bolted down the hall, probably to find a healer.

"…So."

"Yeah…"

Well, this is awkward.

"Well, since you aren't marrying him…" Chrom started awkwardly.

Where was he going with this? "Mhm…?"

I was still trying to discern whether or not the redness of his face was the effects of alcohol. "…Do you want to go out on a date?"

Wut. Did he just…? Well, this certainly is a first! Me? Asked out by him? …Me? Oh, come on, don't freak out now, you're leaving the poor guy in suspense! Say something. COME. ON. "…Mer." Great job, Erin! You said absolutely nothing of importance! "Eh…" Play it cool. Come on. Come on. "Um…Uh, sure, I t-totally don't have anything better to do with my life." Real smooth…

"Great!" he said, before stumbling, "Now if you excuse me, I am slightly drunk," and falling to the ground. Gods, Naga, you're really embarrassing your child.

"Slightly?" I sighed, prodding his side with my foot. "You just chugged Feroxi firewine. That of which I will scold you for later…But now let's just get you to Freddy. Mama Bear would know what to do with you, you poor sap."

"PRETTY COLORS!" And then he giggled. Is this humanly possible? Is Naga screwing with us again? This is really getting out of hand and I'm finding it really hard to believe that a drunk person would act like this.

"FINE. I'll just take you straight to your room then…Gods help me." I grabbed one of his arms, deciding to take a leaf out of Olivia's book, and dragged him down the hall.

"YES MA'AM!" He giggled again. "Thanks for giving me a hand!" ….Well, someone's feeling dorky today. What else is on the list besides puns, puppy love? …I am not entirely opposed to that…

"I will never forget how cute that was…" I coughed, realizing what I'd said. Geez, I called him cute. He is not cute. He's beyond it. "You're welcome."

I dragged him along for a few more minutes, earning weird stares from Flavia's servants. I looked at them in defeat, and held up the flask. They all gave apologetic glances each time, probably having had to do the same at one point or another. Flavia was their boss after all.

"HEY ERIN!" Chrom said, as we rounded the corner that led to his room. "Look."

"…What?" This is really getting on my nerves…

"We are holding hands~" Did he just sing that? And then giggle again? Don't punch the prince, Erin. You know you want to…Just hold back.

"We are." I felt my eyebrow begin to twitch. Great. At least it isn't my swo—Ahem. "Remind me to never let you drink. Ever. Again. I'll inform Freddy later...I guess..."

Chrom immediately became somber. "How do you know I am not acting just to get a chance for the most beautiful girl in the world to drag me across the floor and toss me into my bed. Where we will be alone…" I almost believed him until he giggled again. "Wasn't that a funny joke?"

._. Which part?

"Because (1) I smell the alcohol and (2) you couldn't act to save your life." Mhm. Mhm. …Well, except that one time with Validar. Gods. This is scary, knowing someone who's a really great actor. They could be lying to you the whole time you know them. This is why I don't trust easily.

"You should see Emmeryn when she is drunk…" I'm sure that's quite the sight— "THAT NIGHT WAS WILD!" Wut? Is…Is incest a thing with you two? Brain, back out of that territory. I'm sure Emmeryn just blew shit up. It's always the quiet ones.

"I will pretend that I didn't hear that."

"And for some reason…" He hiccupped. "Lissa gets all depressed when she is drunk!" Chrom became somber again and changed the subject. Looks who's a bipolar drunk…or actor. "Why the hell did you decide that Greenie should protect her?"

"The ship." That earned a glare, so I gave another reason. "And he's obviously one of the more experienced among us."

"But he just won't care! My sister needs to be protected, not ignored!"

"She won't be. Have a little faith, will you?" The lack of pride in his comrade was surprising. "He seems like the kind of person that would do anything to keep his friends and family safe, despite not being able to work well with others…"

"But he doesn't care about her…" Chrom hiccupped once more. "He just tolerates her."

"I understand that you're just trying to keep your sister safe. You care for her. You have to be strong to keep her and Emm safe, right?" I explained, using the knowledge that I had collected during my time here.

"….Right."

Point; Erin! "But you can't do that alone, yeah? That's why we are all here. The Shepherds will help you stand if you need it." Having gotten my point across, I decided to take advantage of his seemingly small attention span. "Now just let the ship happen."

"Okay….." He agreed and then unfortunately realized everything else I said. "WAIT, WHAT?! NO! NOT ALLOWED!"

"IT IS A THING!"

"I REFUSE TO LET SUCH A THING EXIST!"

"But I want it to exist!" I pouted, thinking of what Robin would do if I did not support his ship.

Brat.

What was that?

Spoiled. Brat.

"... This is my sister we are talking about here, and some random dastard that just appeared out of nowhere. I don't think that is a good idea." Well…When you put it that way…

"….Right, sorry. It's kind of odd really." Gods, I'm being so irrational here. This isn't something I should be trying to tamper with a brother's attempts to protect his sister. "You're keeping such a level head for someone who is intoxicated. Meanwhile, I'm not thinking logically."

"Have a little faith in your boyfriend!" B-boyfriend? Mmkay, I'm down with that. "Two swigs of Feroxi Fire brandy won't put me down; not when Vaike insisted on drinking contests with full mugs of the stuff when we were younger." What? Is that even legal? "It is just fun having you drag me around."

"Jesus Christ, Chrom..." Please do not ask who that is. "You really shouldn't be doing that. It isn't good for you. What if you died from that? What would I do? What would we do? We'd simply be shepherdless sheep." Ah, wordplay…I totally have this argument in the bag.

"You will always have Emmeryn." Chrom stood slowly, holding onto my shoulder for support. "So now... I have to murder a certain Assassin named Greenie."

"But Emmeryn is not you…" I sighed, knowing that it was useless. "Can you at least sober up first? If anything? Then you can go free and wreak havoc on the poor guy."

"….Fine. But only since you asked me to." Awe, I feel so godsdamn loved. "You want to come inside?"

"It's not like I have anything else to do…" He held the door open and we both went in. "'Course. I need to make sure you don't do anything stupid."

Chrom then proceeded to show me around as if he we showing me the most amazing thing in the world. He jumped from one object to next like a flash, gesturing at each item like those Wheel of Fortune girls. "See look! Here is the place I put Falchion and uhhhhhhhh..." He spotted this lil' stuffed yellow bunny and kicked it under the bed. "That is nothing... Oooh! Look! See? I had my craftsmen shape my lamp like the mark of Naga see?" Someone loves his culture and heritage.

Oh, I haven't forgotten about the bunny. "Was that a stuffed…..Wow, didn't know you were into that. I always imagined that you would hug Falchion as you slept…." He gave me an awkward smile. "Not that I ever thought of you sleeping..." … OKAY, IT WAS ONCE BUT GODSDAMMIT, CORDELIA. WHY?! I coughed awkwardly, trying to change the subject. "Anyway….Nice weather today, huh?" Because blizzards are considered good weather conditions, genius.

"Yeah. Really nice weather." Oh, phew, he didn't seem to care about that weirdness. "Er…Okay, thanks for coming in!"

"Heh, you're welcome, I guess...Um..." Am I supposed to be doing something right now…? I've got this gut feeling…Fuck. I told Rei I'd help her with the dinner shift and it was that time. "OH SHIT. I GOT SHIT TO DO! Um...Don't do anything stupid...Er...Bye! I'm coming back later, so you better not have any more of that firewine!"


AN: Woops. My hand slipped. ¯\_()_/¯

Okay, to start things off: I do not own the Kellam antics or the PoV joke. Those were courtesy of Noah during the scripting process and in his own fic, respectively.

Erm, anyway…That happened. I actually wanted this to be serious, but then XD a few headcanons were born and…Don't worry, it'll be serious when it absolutely needs to be. Like, ya know, Emm's death and the Midmire. U.U I've got a whole thing of depressing stories to read, so it should be…at least mildly depressing.

Hm~ Since I don't have any BTS for you people today, I'd like to ask you a question instead! I want to know who you ship with who in this fic! I know there are established pairings, but I'd like to see who you think belongs with who, OCs included!