It's a week late... DON'T KILL ME.

...

Um. Well, here you go.


Chapter 22

~The Fall of a Queen~

We all stood on a dune overlooking Plegia Castle, readying our horses, weapons and whatnot. The East Feroxi soldiers had arrived earlier than predicted while the West Feroxi soldiers were nowhere to be seen, so I could only assume that they were held up by the inevitable. The wind blew through our ranks kicking up dust and creating a gritty cloud that would cover our entrance. This miniature sandstorm hadn't been natural though and had been magicked up by the Ylissean Mage Corps. The reconnaissance operatives had just returned and confirmed the troop dispositions – and they were just where we thought. There was a legion of wyvern riders posted about a mile and half away from the castle; presumably to catch us before we reached the castle, and swiftly report back if need be.

"This is it!" Chrom said in a way that instilled courage in us all. "We are going to save Emmeryn."

Save Emmeryn.

We would try, yes.

But we never would succeed.

That is the reality of this.

They didn't know that, so I simply put on a smile. Well, more like a smirk. My smile scares people. It is a sign that the world's ending. "Just over those dunes is the castle," I remarked, holding up our map. The edges were furled and it had plenty of water stains bordering the small pictures that represented cities and landforms. Two X's – one to the top right and another in the middle – written in red ink showed our troop dispositions. Looking as such, it has earned the name "Epic Pirate Treasure Map". I brought my finger to the upper X, and said, "And if Robin's plan is correct, two more of our forces should be here—" I tapped the other X. "—and here."

Chrom nodded solemnly, casting his gaze over the dunes once more. He looked so strong and brave as he did so – it absolutely hurt me that that would change in only a few hours. From the way he gripped Falchions hilt, though, I could tell that he was feeling anything but courage. And if I were to look closely, I would be able to see an inkling of fear under the resolution in the steely blue orbs that were his eyes.

"Yeah," he murmured. "Let's just hope that they get here on—" The blunette cut himself off, something catching his eye among the dunes. "Why are there random cabbage heads strewn about?"

I raised a brow and looked to where he now pointed. It was not a trick of the light; there were actual cabbage heads covered in grit, or partially submerged in the sand. Why the hell were there cabbage heads in the middle of the fucking dessert?

You know what?

I don't care at this point.

Ignore it.

Don't question it.

"Maybe that lady over there knows?" Chrom, no, don't go over to the random lady. You don't even—facepalm. The lady in question was a few feet to the left of the cabbage heads, dressed in a white garb while an axe hung at her side, secured by a belt. Blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders, shimmering under the hot Plegian sun as it beat down. The prince approached her and said, "Excuse me, lady?" To prevent the worst, I followed.

The lady turned and gave a long-suffering sigh. "I am a man." Ah, that makes sense now. I was wondering why a lady would be in the desert. "And my name is Libra Hideyoshi, not 'lady,'" Libra said.

Chrom cocked his head in confusion, disbelief showing itself in his features. "I don't believe you, miss."

Libra narrowed his eyes, reaching for his belt buckle. "I can prove it…"

"Please don't, sir." I interrupted what could have been a very unfortunate situation. "Your word is enough to go—" I would have continued, but it seemed as if the priest were occupied elsewhere. He was picking up the gritty cabbage heads and pocketing them in his personal space pocket. I pondered the logic of this as Dusty sidled up behind me along with Sumia. For a minute I thought she would say something philosophical to get this terrifying thing to stop. But as usual, her unpredictability was on point.

"Don't lock him in the closet with Cynthia!" she yelled.

Sumia gave the petite girl an odd glance and asked, "Who?"

Dusty cringed, pulling any possible response she could out of her ass. "Uh…. M-my pet turtle, Snapple."

To make sure Sumia was too confused to question Dusty's rationale, I added to said confusion. "Sumia, Dusty: Cynthia is the Pokemon League Champion of the Sinnoh region. Gods, you people are idiots."

"Oh yeah! I haven't played Sinnoh in forever..." Dusty reminisced. "Blame Bravely Default. And Unova."

I nodded in agreement. Chrom gave us a confused look, so I coughed and steered the topic back to Emmeryn. "We can talk later about that, Dusty. We need to get to Emm fast so we may save her…And gods hope we do…."

Soon after that, we commenced the attack on Plegia. Robin had ordered that we be with our usual pairs, save for Dusty who was with Nowi this time around, and Libra who was with Ricken. Rei was also borrowing Amphitrite. The first to hit the castle was our group – we couldn't mess up, or it would ruin the rest of the plan. Stealth was absolutely necessary for this portion. After that, our East Feroxi group would scale the outer walls of the castle and get rid of their guard. The West Feroxi group – if they ever get here – would secure the castle courtyard.

That is where our fault would lie: the timing of the West Feroxi group, I'm sure of it. If that courtyard isn't secured, the Risen that spawn would be too much to handle. Basilio also arrived late during the chapter. He was only there for the escape.

"Hey, pay attention, all right?" Chrom snapped me from my thoughts.

I flinched, losing focus on the attack I had been preparing. I was supposed to be giving defensive support with my abilities. They were rather weak, but they were still effective. It involved manipulating the air around me to distort the vision of enemies, redirect attacks ever so slightly, or simply blast enemies with hot air.

"Sor—" An arrow whizzed by and I instinctively jumped to the left to avoid it. "Sorry…"

"The battlefield's no place to be daydreaming," he chided, stabbing a Plegian myrmidon through the chest.

"It's hardly the place to hold a conversation either." I tripped an axe wielder with my magic, causing him to fall right on Chrom's sword.

"I'm being serious. Pay attention, or stay off it."

I frowned at how somber he was being. It was annoyingly out of character, or in character for that matter. I really couldn't tell if this were normal or not. That was sad considering we're sort of a thing. From experience, anyone is only really serious around me when something bad has happened or they absolutely hate me.

"I can handle this. I live with my head in the clouds. It won't get me killed." It was true. I don't tune everything out when I daydream. I half listen, and provide input when needed. Chrom didn't seem to believe this and just looked at me with an annoyed expression. I could almost see the subtle eyebrow twitch. I sighed, continuing. "You worry too much. I won't fall on anyone's sword."

"Telling me not to worry is like telling me not to care," he said stubbornly. "Are you sure you can do this?" He cut down a Plegian mage that had been taking a bit longer than they should have to prepare a spell. "We know what happened in the last battle. I do not wish to repeat that."

I rolled my eyes, saying, "Have a little faith, love," as I slashed at another myrmidon that approached us. Chrom landed the final blow as per usual.

"Faith is no what I lack."

"Could fool me."

"I know you have the capability to protect yourself, but I worry to what extents you'll go to so you can prove this."

"I do take things too far, don't I?" The silence was answer enough. "Right…How can I do something stupid, if I'm too busy trying to make sure you're not doing anything stupid?"

Chrom raised a brow in confusion. "I had it that you were the lost sheep."

"Excuse me?"

"You're just cute like that. Like a little lost sheep," he elaborated, a smug smile gracing his lips.

"I'M CUTE?!" I gave him the look of doom; the one you don't want your significant other to give you. The smug smile wavered as if he knew what he was in for.

"N-Not c-cute, per se, but—"

I cut him off. "I wouldn't say another word if I were you, Prince."

"Um…Um…What did I even say that was wrong? There's nothing wrong with being cute—" My glare intensified, which in turn shut him up. Chrom looked around frantically, trying to find someone who could save him from his doom. "Oh, look! Robin!" And then he bolted.

Robin was nowhere to be—Oh. He actually is over there.

I made my way over to him. To be honest, he looked a lot better today than he had the whole course of the war. I guess it was because he proposed to Maribelle the other day. Long gone was the abusive Shipping Lord, and in his place was a truly cheery and happy man. I could see the Maribelle touch all over him. His coat and the clothes beneath it were now free of all dirt, save for the sand that had invaded it today. His hair was neater—albeit slightly—and his brown eyes sparkled.

"Finally, I thought you stand squabbling in the middle of the battlefield forever," Robin said dourly. Okay. Maybe he wasn't as happy as he looked. Now that I think of it, that sparkle could just be perspiration. "Everyone else is already ready to take the castle. East Ferox has infiltrated their guard towers."

"That only leaves West Ferox's attack," Chrom remarked.

"We're going to have to proceed without them," the tactician said regretfully.

"What? Why? Certainly we can…."

Robin shook his head. "You wanted to get your sister out of here as soon as possible, right? Then we'll have to continue on. They've taken too long already."

"Right…"

"Hey," I said as I nudged Chrom's shoulder. "It's going to be all right. We will succeed. And believe me when I say it: We'll do anything to stop this execution. Just you see. Gods damn anyone who stands between us, yeah?"

"…"

"Take it or leave it. I'm not giving any more motivation."

"Yeah."

He is the king of responses today. What's next? My own personal language of grunts? Hah. I wouldn't be surprised if he somehow picked it up, and then translated it to Lon'qu's language of grunts and they held a conversation. And after, he would be able to provide me every detail, and relay it to me in said language of grunts.

Robin raised his arm, grabbing the attention of the Shepherds and the army that had begun to line up behind them. The bluecoats present – that is what the Ylissean soldiers were nicknamed – were the best the entire army, save for the Shepherds, had to offer. With the East Feroxi soldiers already inside, it'd be a landslide victory. Most definitely. If no Risen were involved.

"Shepherds!" the tactician yelled. "Ylisseans! Feroxi! This is it; this is what you've been fighting so hard for during the past year." Robin stopped, giving Chrom a sidelong glance – he should have been making this speech.

The prince turned to his friend and they shared a look for a moment. Chrom nodded and faced the army. "Today, we end Plegia's evildoings and take back the exalt! We're strong, and we will succeed! The Mad King will fall!" The crowd of soldiers cheered loudly.

Robin nodded and asked, "On your initiative?"

"Soldiers, forward!"

I like to think he pulled that out of his ass, and that that is not actually a command. It was rather weak, if I were to be honest. Still, we charged the castle. I took the liberty of yelling my Mongolian war cry. It was a nostalgic thing that I will not go into detail about. It reminded me of home. And various inside jokes. I was pretty sure that I got a few odd looks, but I didn't care.

That's where the fun ended.

We instantly rid the courtyard of the legion that was stationed there.

We got rid of the executioner with the hand axe.

But it was in that moment that Aversa let out a cry.

That cry summoned a legion of Risen archers.

They all had there bows trained on the pegasus knights.

Those pegasus knights – all seven that had survived – were shot down like flies.

And now they were ready to let arrows fly at Emmeryn in a moment's notice.

Gangrel glowered at Chrom, letting out a maniacal laugh. "What are you going to do now, lordling? Your sister is as good as a pincushion at this point. Hand over the Fire Emblem, or I'll decide to sew banner."

That was a horrible attempt, Gangrel.

"No….Damn you!" Chrom needlessly yelled.

The Mad King's eyes widened with madness as he held up three fingers. "Three!" He put down one. "Two!" Now a sole finer was raised. "On—"

"Okay!" The prince made a grab for the Fire Emblem that was strapped to his left arm so it may fulfill its true purpose. "I'll give you the Fire Emblem!"
"Ho, don't so it!" I accidentally let that slip out. Damn you, inner person trying to be a cool kid!

Chrom's focus snapped to me as he said, "Don't call me that."

I quickly tried to fix this situation by saying, "…I said your name. What did you think I said?"

"Smooth." Aquarius mocked.

"Shaddup, Aquarius."

The prince's attention immediately returned to Gangrel. He looked like he was about to say more, but Emmeryn's voice rang out from where she stood on the precipice.

"Chrom! You mustn't hand over the Fire Emblem!" The monarch stepped forwards gracefully, hands clasped together as if she were praying.

Chrom stiffened, getting an idea of what was happening. "…Emm! Wait! Don't do anything rash! I'm here, I'll save you, I-I won't fail you!" He threw down the Fire Emblem and began running towards his sister. It was annoying that he seemed to forget that it was a lose-lose situation. "Gangrel, you can take the Fire Emblem! Just let her go!" Emmeryn took another step forward.

Aversa mounted her horse, cackling madly and raising a thunder type spell of unknown strength. "Heh, it seems just that won't squash you flies…"

I instantly realized what was about to happen, and took off after him. Aversa was going to make an attempt to hit him, I was sure of it. Feet clacked over the sandstone while we both ran. The dark flier raised her arm – that is when I called out. "Chrom, watch out! On your right!" He took my warning and jumped to the side. Looking up, I realized Emm was much more closer to the edge. "Gods…Is Emm…?"

The exalt called out again. "I never wanted to give you such a legacy…" She inched to the edge. "What is that I can do you, now?" It was clear to see that all she could do was be a martyr. She could only fall to her death. That was the only good she could do in this situation.

"Emm, just come down from there! Before it's too late!" Chrom screeched. She couldn't climb down from the precipice. Emmeryn would come down for him, yes. But by falling to her death.

"Tut, tut, princeling…" Gangrel wagged his finger and let out another screeching laugh. "She'll be fine as long as the Fire Emblem falls into my hands..."

Emm was almost at the edge when she spoke again. "... I will give my everything to create peace... I refuse to let anyone suffer anymore..." She looked down at Gangrel, giving him what I could assume was a pitiful smile. "Even you deserve more love than this..."

Gangrel snorted. "Please. Your idiotic words do nothing, now. You can do nothing. Peace? Peace, is an illusion. The only thing you need is power to crush those who might oppose you and control those below you. You either use or be used."

Emmeryn took a breath, said, "…I'm sorry. Chrom, Lissa, I love you. Please. Remember that always." And so the great Exalt Emmeryn began to fall gracefully to the ground. That was when, with one final push, I sped forwards, outrunning Chrom as he let out a cry and stretched his hand forwards. I sprung forwards and—ZAP!

And I lost all momentum, electricity – a Thoron spell to be specific – raced across my skin, leaving me temporarily immobilized. I could only move again when a loud THUD! was heard. That thud was Emmeryn. And she was most certainly not alive. A loud scream, a wail was heard – presumably Chrom's. There was another thud as he fell to his knees.

"EMM! NO! EMM! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD! YOU CAN'T HAVE DONE THIS! IF YOU LOVE US, COME BACK! WE – WE—!" He was reduced to a sobbing mess. His shoulders heaved as tears flowed freely from his eyes and rolled off his chin to the sandstone floor below. My first instinct was to run over, hold him and never let go. But now wasn't the time for that. We had to escape first. Then there would be the proper amount of comfort.

…Comfort that I should not be giving. I failed. I had almost saved her, but failed when it mattered most. I wasn't strong enough to sustain that blast.

"Hm...Reduced to this, is the pigheaded prince." Aversa cackled and fired another Thoron at Chrom. That was a low move, and I swear, next time I see that bitch, I'll kill her myself. …If I actually can.

"WATCH OUT!" I jumped in front of the blast – that wasn't the brightest idea – and took the full brunt of the spell. So now, one could only assume that I was in the red. Quite literally, my HP'd probably be there right now.

"What a cute little kitten come to play~." Aversa sneered, raising her tome and getting ready to fire another Thoron spell. "Foolish enough to be my target practice, eh, girl?"

"E-Emm... This is just a dream... A-a dream... I'll wake up soon, and you'll be there, by me..." Chrom was shaking now, more trembling than heaving. "Like when we were little and I got sick... You held my hand and read me stories about heroes and magic... Y-you... Were always there... Always..."

I placed hand on his shoulder, in an attempt to comfort him. I wasn't going to cry, no matter how much I wanted to. I had to stay strong and help him be strong. That is what was needed. I thought that'd be easy. And now…It was hard to see him recovering from this. The state Chrom was in was pitiful. It was frustrating as well. The comfort I could give was only limited, because I knew I would run out of patience.

"ERIN!" Dusty swooped down and readied her tome, looking as if she was going to battle someone. Aversa presumably. I had completely forgotten about the witch's existence. "Get Chrom out of here! I'll try to cover your escape." Dusty wiped her eyes – she had apparently been crying as well. She then proceeded to voice her thoughts. "I hate this. Why am I even here? It was easier when she was just a bunch of animated pixels... I want to go home..."

Iris shook her mane, shaking Dusty in her saddle in the process. "Get the fuck over yourself... sorry. But no pity parties until everyone's out of danger. We can cry together later, okay, partner? But first... I want to make sure everyone gets through this! We will help! Erin! Got the game plan?"

Having nothing intelligible to say, I simply nodded and said, "Thanks for the help." I shook Chrom's shoulder, soberly saying, "Come on. We need to go."

"NO! WE NEED TO STAY! WHAT IF SHE SOMEHOW SURVIVED?! WE NEED TO STAY AND SEARCH FOR HER!" He shakily stood, heading in the direction of where Emmeryn landed. I blocked his path, pushing forwards, forcing him to go that way.

"Chrom, no. She's gone. We need to run. Now."

"NO! She can't be gone! I NEED HER! LISSA NEEDS HER! YLISSE NEEDS HER! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! She's my sister, my beautiful, wonderful sister, and I refuse..." Fresh tears sprung from his eyes. "T-to give her... Up..." Despite how much I didn't want to, I began to cry a bit at this point. Seeing him like this hurt.

"I'm sorry…" I grabbed my sword, clubbed him on the back of the head with its pommel – right where the medulla was located – and whistled for Amph to come. Thankfully, Rei had taken good care of her when she had used her in the battle.

I lifted him up into the saddle as Dusty continued to speak since Aversa had fled with Gangrel at some point when I had been trying to make Chrom leave. "Can I bitchslap him, too, when he wakes? ... Sorry, but... He was so dependent on Emmeryn, needing her to help right his world. And she's... Just... Gone. ... Argh! This is stupid! I'm off! No pity, no regrets, no sadness! We gotta be strong and fight for those we can't!" With that, Dusty flew off in the direction that our escape route was not in. Perhaps she was going after Aversa?

I jumped up behind Chrom on Amph, and kicked the Clydesdale crossbreed forwards. "I'm sorry…" I murmured, knowing he wouldn't be able to hear me, but I needed to say something. "I should've been able to stop her, and save Emm."

Lissa ran up to us as we neared the others, deciding to walk alongside me. "Lemme help!"

"Lissa, I don't need help. Amph is a strong horse, she can carry us both to Frederick."

"I know, but, I've got to do something!" Lissa looked away, seeming as if she were holding back tears. "I'm so useless. I can't fight and everyone needs to protect me! If I was more useful, maybe Emm..." Lissa hiccupped. "... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

"Lissa, half of us wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you," I said, trying to comfort the princess the best I could. "You've saved us dozens—nay, thousands of times."

"Yeah…" Lissa dried her tears. "Gotta be strong. For Emm. For Chrom. For everyone... If Chrom can't, you know, take it or bear it right now... I can help with the paperwork and the government policies and... Try to learn to fight."

"Glad to hear that. We need that strength now, more than ever, if we're to face Gangrel and win." That was true, and so I wiped my own eyes as well.

"Hehe. Gotta be more responsible. I can't... let myself be dependent on Emm, anymore." We neared the others. They were already saddling horses, throwing armor into the convoy (so that they may have more mobility), and strapping weapons to their belts.

"Hurry! We don't have long. Get a move on, lads!" Basilio yelled when we were in earshot.

Libra looked up from someone he was healing up. "I will find Sir Frederick, and you should rest while you can. Get a few minutes to yourself." I slid off Amph, and pulled Chrom off, placing him down near Libra.

"I'll never have time for myself, because that isn't what is important. Take good care of him all right...He doesn't need to see a failure." I sighed, and looked to the sky. "I think I see a silver lining." Wait, no, that's not a silver lining, that's Dusty on Iris swooping down at a very high and dangerous velocity. She was beat up, bruises forming on her arms and a nasty looking gash over her left eye.

"Yo, mah bitches. I be back. Aversa is tough. I... Well. Am sufficiently inadequate to deal with her." As if the condition she was in wasn't enough to tell me that. Dusty wrapped arm around my shoulder, still on Iris as she did. If it had been in any other way, it would've been impossible due to her height. "You wanna know a secret?" She looked like she was about to vent about everything, so I let her. "I suck at sports. I am not athletic and I am afraid of heights. I fight horribly with a spear, so I barely scraped by with my life and limbs attached." Dusty closed her eyes for a moment. "Ehehe, our little motley crew might be screwed. But we'll persevere, right?"

"Yup." I then did what you shouldn't do—I questioned Dusty's logic. "Why the hell are you a pegasus knight?"

"Because I do it for reasons. And I trust Iris with my life. You cheered up now, hearing my embarrassing flaws?"

"That's so sad…" I sniffled. Normally, I'm not this emotional, but I guess it's just the day.

"HEY! Listen, we're all human and screw up and basically we're all shit. But we're still here. We..." Dusty let out a sigh. "Let's rest, Erry. I can't be motivational and crap right now."


And done. I apologize for this being a week late. I just got caught up in shit. Specifically Tumblr roleplay, because I auditioned for Maribelle for a group and got accepted. I know, awesome, right? I actually am okay at third person point of views. Le gasp.

Er, yeah, anyway. Here's the BTS for the chapter!

Don't...

Chrom: Ho, don't do it!

Emmeryn: *jumps*

Chrom: Oh my gods

Oh, gods, why?

Emmeryn: Falling from cloud nine!~

Chrom: Emm! Don't!

Emmeryn: Crashing from the high!~

Lissa: Emm! We need you! Don't let go!

Emmeryn: I'm letting go tonight!~ Yeah, I'm falling from cloud nine!~ *jumps*

Chrom: …

Lissa: …

Emmeryn: Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground!~ AHHHH. AHHHH

Chrom: *facepalm* Be serious about this, will you?

Emmeryn: I don't know where the hell you got that idea!~ That stupid damn idea that you can control me!~ Ha!~ *holds sign* I do what I want!

Lissa: Emm, c'mon! This is supposed to be sad…

Emmeryn: So why so sad?~ You live and you love!~ So why so sad?~ Dependent on above!~ Searchin' for the dead sea scrolls!~ So why, so why so sad?~

Robin: Oi! Get it together! We're trying to shoot!

Emmeryn: Just…..Let it go~ Let it go~ Can't hold it back anymore!~ Let it go~ Let it go~ Turn away and sl- *shot*

Erin: *blows off gun* ….You are all very welcome.

Chrom: …

Lissa: …

Robin: …

Everyone: …

Erin: We don't need anymore queens singing songs about empowerment which were originally intended for villains, but the songs were too inspirational so they became "heroes" in the story. …Guys, she'll respawn in, like, five minutes.

Emmeryn: Immoooooo-Immortals!

Everyone: *facepalm*

?

Erin: Oh, hey kids! Wanna know how Jimmy died?

Kids: YEAHHHHHH! *confetti and shit*

Erin: He died.

Kids: O.O

The Farm

Rei: Old McDonald had a farm!~

Farmer: *tied up and gagged* MMMMPH! MMMPHHHHH!

Rei: *shoots Fire at it, burns down, farmer screams* HAD.

Aqua's Thoughts on the Signs (Based on Astrological Compatibility, from memory, sorry if I offend.)

Aries: Needs a chill pill

Libra: ...You piss me off. Stop being weird.

Scorpio: ...You are better than most.

Capricorn: U.U I. Don't. Like. You.

Cancer: Go fuck yourself in a hole.

Gemini: I don't trust you, but you're tolerable. We're alike, in ways.

Sagittarius: Back off land lubber! (Actually, I like you quite a bit. No homo.)

Pisces: Stop being sexual. Please. Gods.

Taurus: Please don't eat Cancer.

Virgo: Don't correct me! That's my job!

Leo: You balance and complete me. Come back to us.

Robin's Thoughts on the Hosts: Part One (Please Stop Eating the Hell Butterflies styled)

Erin: Seems smart...enough. Could try to not stare into space so much. Needs practice. Your sarcasm is annoying. STOP CORRECTING THE TACTICIAN! ...IDGAF. SH. No! Don't eat all the black olives! NO! I LOVE THOSE! ...GO SIT IN THE DAMN CORNER NOW. ...I heard that remark. That's it! I'm telling Chrom! …..Good, Erin. Now sit quietly. *Erin flips off silently*

Rei: I'm going to kill you. You burned my whole library saying that it was a sacrifice for the llama gods! ...AHH! DON'T HARM THE TACTICIAN! GO SIT IN THE CORNER! ...I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN DESTROY ME, I'M YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER AND CAN REVOKE YOUR FOOD PRIVILEGES!

Brandon: You're developing a Cordelia Complex over Cordelia. Stop yourself before you get hurt. She doesn't lo-HEY! DON'T HIT ME! ...WHAT DID YOU WRITE ABOUT ME AND MARIBELLE?! ...You may keep your waifu.

Lucas: You could grow a backbone. If you love her so much, say something already...WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY NORMAL ONE?! ...I suppose it's natural selection when you grow up with Erin and Rei. ...Oh? So Rei's the only weird one? So it's all some comfort mechanism for Erin? Interesting, interesting.

Erin's Thoughts on the Shepherds At "Chapter 9" (Current/Met Future Shepherds)

Chrom: ^-^ I'm kinda afraid of you killing me at the moment tbh. I'm sorry for failing you...Please don't kill me.

Lissa: U.U She's going to turn into a serial killer, isn't she?

Frederick: My heads going to be on the end of a silver lance.

Sully: She's totally going to kill me.

Virion: He's going to die.

Stahl: He's too average.

Vaike: My days are numbered.

Miriel: You're hypothesis was incorrect.

Sumia: STOP BITCH SLAPPING ME

Kellam: STOP STALKING ME.

Donnel: SHUT UP, FARM BOY

Lon'qu: ...That sword is for peeling potatoes, right?

Ricken: M-Midget...STOP. I'M SORRY, OKAY?!

Maribelle: DON'T HIT ME WITH THE PARASOL!

Gaius: STOP WOMANIZING—I mean, stealing candy.

Panne: Screw your tribe, stop trying to eat my toes.

Cordelia: You cannot have that threesome.

Olivia: Dance. Just do it.

Anna: I DON'T WANT TO BUY YOUR DAMN TISSUES

Flavia: Fuck women's rights

Basilio: Fuck your damn country.

Gangrel: DIE.

Emmeryn: I'M SORRY

Aversa: *flips off*

Lucina: ...Don't kill me.

"Ephraim": WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

→ Questioning Shit

Erin: Why does the theme for Smosh's BTS always play at the end of the damn chapters?!

Dusty: I made myself too epic. U.U I bet it's awesome that I'm a sucky pegasus knight, I'm unathletic and scared of heights... Anyways, you're the writer. You dictate these things.

Erin: ...Yes, but you also helped and insisted I included that.

Dusty: I'm talking about Smosh theme. I wanted to make myself very imperfect to balance the epic people.

Erin: Ah, so like I'm detached, you're scared of those things, unathletic and emotional? Damn. I need more weaknesses. Note to self: Be depressed as fuck next chapter.

Dusty: No, no, a good character has good traits and flaws because the flaws create conflict necessary for development and themes and lessons. You have to be flawed within reason. I just introduced all my... bad points and why I would die within the second of being in Ylisse.

Erin: *shrugs* Guess I just can't see my own flaws…

Dusty: Pshhhhhhh. Maybe you don't have any... I'm lying don't kill me.

Erin: I must find these flaws! Come, my friend! We must go on an epic spiritual journey!

Dusty: Hmm... Can I be that one person who critiques things? Because... WAIT DO I REALLY WANT MOBS OF ANGRY FANGIRLS/BOYS CHASING ME DOWN FOR MY OPINION?!

Erin: U.U Yeah, don't do that, because one; correcting people is my job and two; I would probably murder you and all your fangirls/boys.

Dusty: I claim friend benefits. You can't kill me.

Erin: I'll find a way. *scribbles in notebook*

Dusty: D-DEATHNOTE? THAT MANGA? YOU TRA- *coughs* Sorry. Beginning of a tangent.

Erin: 'Tis fine. I do that frequently...Speaking of tangents, aren't tangerines delicious?

Dusty: For the apples by the apples. Don't try and convert me. Except I hate apples. So convert me to tangerine-ism.

Erin: *opens ceremonial book* And from this point forward, with the power vested in me, you shall be known as the tangerine high priestess. ...Oh. This appears to be Robin's porno magazine.

Dusty: ... *picks up and sets on fire* You were saying?

Erin: Now, go forth and preach tangerines!

Dusty: Okay! By the power vested in me, I pronounce the Era of Tangerine. One more thing: everyone loves Noah. U.U it's a fact, not an opinion.

Erin: I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something for him *sigh* Why do we all have the inability to hate him?

Dusty: U.U He's nicer and funnier. I think. You can be the Tangerine President- or dictator. We never said it was a democracy.

Erin: EQUAL RIGHTS AND HAPPINESS AND LOVE AND DEMOCRACY AND VOTING AND SLAVES AND WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND MAN SLA-EQUALITY!

Dusty: NO, ERIN DON'T GIVE AWAY OUR PL- I mean. Hi. Oops, gotta go. Bye.

Robin: Have any of you guys seen my por- I mean, my suspicious blue book?

Erin: Nope. *kicks ashes under convenient bed, runs away* DUSTERS! "SPIRITUAL JOURNEY", NOW!