A/N: Once again, any dialogue in double quotes and italics is taken directly from "Threads" while dialogue in single quotes and italics and in double quotes and regular font is mine.

The next couple of chapters are almost ready so the wait won't be quite so long between postings.


"In a Wonderland they lie, Dreaming as the days go by, Dreaming as the summers die:
Ever drifting down the stream- Lingering in the golden gleam- Life, what is it but a dream?"
― Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass


'This can't be happening.'

She closed her eyes tight against the barrage of thoughts and images playing out before her.

'It's my fault. I'm the reason he joined the Tok'ra in the first place. Things could've been different…Yeah, Sam, he would have died in that hospital four years ago and you would never have gotten your family back! But I dragged him into this war selfishly hoping only to save him. I knew he'd never say no.'

"I'm so sorry, Daddy," she whispered to his sleeping form. She closed her eyes and let the tears she'd been fighting all day slip silently down her cheeks.

"Hey," he said softly squeezing the hand she was already holding. "You have nothing to be sorry about kiddo. I'm so proud of you! And, I have you to thank for these last few amazing years. Sam, I don't regret this, any of this, and neither should you. Selmak gave us an incredible gift. She gave us back to each other." He smiled at her and continued. "Samantha, I remember the loneliness and the emptiness I used to feel and the anger and resentment that took over after your mother died…Selmak helped take all of that away and gave me the perspective I needed to see just how much I needed you and your brother back in my life. Do you remember what I told you after your mom's funeral about not dwelling on the bad but celebrating the good?" A small smile formed on her lips as Sam looked into her dad's face and he reached up to grab her chin. "Sammie, don't let the bad of these last few months take the joy out of what's to come, whatever that may be." He cupped her cheek in his hand and gave her another soft, knowing smile.

Sam grabbed his hand in hers and then in an effort to keep more tears at bay, she changed the subject. "A number of the Tok'ra have responded…"


Jack had decided to give Carter some space after yesterday's debacle in his backyard. He knew what she had been trying to say to him but he was glad when Kerry had come outside interrupting her stammering explanation for seeking him out after Pete's surprise. Now his thoughts strayed to the words Kerry had left him with earlier that day…

"Is the Air Force the only thing that's keeping you two apart? Rules and regulations? Cuz if it is you are making a very big mistake."

"And you know what I should do?"

"Retire."

"Again?"

"Don't get me wrong, you are considered invaluable to the program by the Pentagon, but the President has appointed a civilian to run the SGC before. Just a thought."

He took that thought with him as he made his way down to the isolation room where Jacob had been moved. He knew that several of the Tok'ra had been coming and going over the last few hours and figured that the man could use a break. He also wanted to check on Sam, of course.

Kerry had no idea just how right she was about his "issues." He'd thought he had it all figured out, that he could move on. He'd let Sam go by not interfering with her decision to accept Pete's proposal and he thought that had been it. The End. Kerry had provided a much needed distraction. They had fun together and the chemistry was there but he knew better than to think it would go very much further than it already had. He was actually relieved that she'd been the one to break things off and he hadn't been allowed to continue to pretend.

His thoughts were broken as he rounded the corner and he saw Sam standing outside the doorway of her dad's room leaning against the wall in much the same way he'd seen her lean into the tree when she'd hurt her ankle a few weeks ago on P3X-157. Head back and eyes closed, she looked as if she were wishing that the wall would take away her pain.

He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and felt her immediately relax as if her body just knew it was him. "Carter?"

She kept her eyes closed as she answered, "Yes, sir?"

"Need a break?" he asked softly.

The complete and utter exhaustion in her eyes when she turned to look at him was all the answer he needed. "C'mon, let's go get some coffee."

"But…"

"No buts, Sam. If anything happens we won't be far." He gently took her arm and started leading her away from the wall and toward the elevator at the end of the hall.

As the doors opened and they stepped inside, she looked up at Jack as Jacob's words echoed in her head...

"I just want to know you're gonna be happy."

"I am." She tries her best to sound convincing.

Jacob looks at her with an exasperated look on his face, "Don't let rules stand in your way."

"What are you talking about?" She tries to keep her voice steady. He couldn't possibly know, could he? How, how could he know?

"You joined the Air Force because of me."

She smiles and doesn't deny it. "I love my job." She had joined the Air Force because of her father. Some part of her had hoped that their military connection would help bridge the distance in their personal relationship. In the end, it did. It just took a lot longer than she had anticipated. And, she now realizes that it all came with a heavy price.

Jacob nods and puts his hand on her cheek. Looking her directly in the eyes, he says, "You can still have everything you want."

"I do, Dad."

Jacob sighs and looks at her fondly as she holds one of his hands in both of hers.

"Really." She didn't know if she was truly trying to convince her father or herself that this was true. But either way, she didn't sound very convincing at all.