Masaomi slowly paced back and forth along the large windows, waiting for Izaya to return home. He occasionally glanced at the computer screen, scowling as he did. When he faced the man, what would he even say?
'I know what you've been doing.'
'How could you betray me again?'
'I'm sick of this. Tell me the truth or I'll leave you.'
'Goodbye. You can figure out yourself what you did.'
'It's my fault for trusting you.'
None of them seemed right. In fact, all of them sounded either pathetic, frivolous, or both. He had never been in this situation before, and never thought he would be. Maybe he should simply pretend as if he didn't see anything. However, he knew that would merely eat away at him, and strain their relationship.
"What should I do?"
"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you, or do you expect me to figure it out myself? I think you sometimes confuse my skills in reading body language and predicting actions as an ability to read minds. If there's a problem I can fix, then you need to tell me. Otherwise, you will be brooding in despair until you finally break down. Don't assume I'll simply know." Izaya sat down on the couch beside his lover and reached out to touch him, but the boy only moved away.
With a small, strangled voice, Masaomi spoke. "I thought... I thought I was the only one. I was foolish and naïve to think I would exclusively have your affection—I would exclusively give you affection. From the start, I know you had this weird thing about loving humanity, and I didn't expect you to change for me, but..." Masaomi curled in on himself. "All the things you've said to me, all the time you've let me spend with you. I thought that meant I was different to you."
"Masaomi, what are you talking about? You—"
"Don't lie to me!" The younger male balled his fists, all the while, he never once looked at the informant. "I saw it... I saw your chat logs. When you were out the other day, my laptop was out of battery, and you said I could use yours as long as I didn't download anything. You left this chat up on your screen, and I was curious, so I read it. This girl you were talking to... This... Rei..."
"That's not—"
"Let me finish!" Masaomi stood up and walked towards the windows. "You told her that you like her. That she's interesting and unique. And it's not just her, either! When we go out somewhere, you flirt with women right in front of me! I want to be the only one!" As soon as he finished speaking, Masaomi's stomach knotted, realizing how childish he sounded. No, he didn't think faithfulness was too much to ask for in what seemed to him to be a normal relationship, but his words were immature.
Izaya sighed deeply. He was silent for a while, simply watching Masaomi. Eventually, he held his arms out. "Come here, darling." Once the boy reluctantly sat down beside him, Izaya pulled him into his arms.
"I'm so sorry you saw all of that. You really dug deep into that log, huh...? Anyways, you misunderstood, but I don't blame you for it. That girl... Rei-chan means nothing to me. She's... riveting, so for the past few months, I've been speaking to her. I made a persona, but mixed in some of my real life and views. But she didn't act like the other girls. I always manage to get various types of people to fall for me, because it's intriguing to learn how to win someone over. Not this one, though. So it became a challenge. When I ask her opinion of me, she speaks bluntly, says that she thinks I'm a captivating person, but she would never fall for me. She's different from the other girls on the forums, and that excited me."
Slender fingers slid through golden hair. "But, Masaomi, the man speaking to Rei-chan is not me. I don't want to date her. All of it is pretend, because it's fun for me. I know very well that creating whole personalities and pretending to have romantic feelings for people isn't something 'normal' people do, but you already know I'm not 'normal.' Do you understand, Masa-chan? You're very special to me, and no one compares to you. You're my favorite human, and you always will be. So don't fret, my darling. There's a reason I've let you get close to me, that you are my boyfriend. It has been more than a year now that we've started this relationship. If I had become bored with you, I would've told you, and ended our relationship."
During the long talk, Masaomi slowly calmed down. He hadn't realized how afraid he was of losing Izaya. Even if everything he thought had been true, though, would he have had the strength to leave him? If he were pretending, would he be able to move on, instead of staying and receiving mock-affection, or even affection he was sharing with someone else? Was the pain of seeing the person he loved be in love someone other than him enough to make him leave the man who made him feel so special and wanted?
"Okay. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions."
"Hush, dear. It was only natural for you to think those things. I'm very convincing, I know. Really, I'm not upset, and I don't blame you for believing my feelings for you were being taken away. So don't be mad at yourself. Let this simply be a lesson. No matter what might happen, if I don't want you around, I will tell you. But, darling, that will never happen. Unless you leave me, we will always be together." Izaya pulled his lover into a soft kiss, then pulled away and spoke against his lips.
"You are the only one for me, Masaomi."
