Chapter 2: Volunteers
One time, when Tansy was first learning how to harvest fruit from trees in the orchards of District 11, she reached out too far on an unsteady branch, lost her balance, and fell eight feet to the ground, landing on her back. It was as if the impact had knocked every wisp of air from her lungs, and she lay there struggling to inhale, exhale, to do anything.
That was how she felt now, trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the name bounced around the inside of her skull. Someone is gripping her arm, Mari and another girl from Canning Row, and Tansy thought maybe she had started to fall and they caught her.
There had to be some mistake. This couldn't be happening. Seven slips in over a hundred thousand. Why did it have to be Annie? Why did this have to happen on a year when there were no ready Careers? When there was no one else to take her place?
Somewhere far away, Tansy could hear the crowd. Some, those who knew and loved Annie were murmuring unhappily. Most clapped out of habit. A few idiots even shouted out cheers of congratulations. And then Tansy saw her, the blood drained from her face, hands clenched in fists at her sides around bunches of her long skirt. She walked with small, stiff steps up toward the stage. She let go of her skirt and clutched at the seahorse charm on her necklace. It was this detail, her clinging to the necklace that Tansy had made for her that brought the fourteen-year-old girl back to herself.
"Annie!" The strangled cry came out of her throat, and her muscles began to move again. "Annie!"
Mari tried to hold her back, but Tansy broke away and pushed forward. The other kids made way immediately and allowed her a straight path to the stage. She reached Annie just as she was about to mount the steps. Tansy reached out and grabbed her sister's sleeve, stopping her. Annie's eyes were wide with fear and surprise.
"I volunteer!" Tansy gasped before she could tell her to go back. "I volunteer as tribute!"
There was some confusion on stage. The rule was that once a tribute's name had been pulled from the ball, another eligible boy, if a boy's name had been read, or girl, if a girl's name had been read, could step forward to take his or her place. In some districts, like 4, in which winning the reaping was considered a great honor, people were eager to risk their lives, and the volunteering was complicated. But not this year. This year, no one else was supposed to volunteer for the girls. Volunteering for the games when you weren't a trained Career was pretty much an act of suicide.
"Lovely," said Priscilla Lush, "but I believe there's an order to these things, you know. It's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if more volunteers do come forth then…"
The mayor cut her off. "What does it matter?" he said. They all knew that every year the Careers planning to volunteer signed up ahead of time so they could narrow the list down to the one before reaping day to save time. There was no one else and they all knew it. "What does it matter?" he repeated gruffly. He was looking at Tansy with a pained expression on his face. He didn't know her really, but there was a faint recognition there. She was the strange girl who, four years ago, came to District 4 from the outside, from one of the poorest districts in Panem. Underfed and malnourished, despite being the daughter of a victor. Quiet and small, staring straight ahead with eyes that had already seen too much for someone so young. She should know better than anyone what she was getting herself into. "Let her come forward."
Annie was screaming hysterically behind her. She had wrapped her arms around her like a vice.
"No! No, Tansy! You can't go!"
"It's all right, Annie," Tansy said, managing to sound calmer than she felt. She was grateful for that at least. She wanted to turn and look at her sister, give her a smile to try to make her feel better. But she couldn't, because this was upsetting her and she didn't want to cry. When they televised the replay of the reapings tonight everyone would make note of her tears, and she would be marked as an easy target. A weakling. She needed to appear strong right now. For herself and for Annie. "It's all right, Annie. You can let go."
"No!" Annie cried. "Take me instead!"
"It's too late. It doesn't work that way," Tansy reminded her.
She could feel someone pulling her sister from her back. Tansy turned and saw that their father had lifted Annie up off the ground as easily as if she was still a small child, and she was thrashing in his arms. "Go on, Tansy," he said, in a voice he was fighting to keep steady, and then he carried Annie off toward where he had been standing on the side. Tansy steeled herself and climbed the steps.
Her eyes met with Finnick's and Mags'. In them was a mixture of shock, pity, understanding, admiration, and fear for her safety. Their faces were still pale and drawn from the shock of hearing Annie's name read.
Finnick recovered first, quickly adopting a more gregarious mask to hide his true feelings on the matter, as Priscilla began gushing over Tansy.
"Well, bravo! That's the spirit of the Games!" Apparently she had decided to ignore Annie's shrieking display of grief. Her smile looked tighter than usual. "What's your name, sweetheart?"
Tansy swallowed hard. "Tansy Cresta," she answered.
"I bet my baubles that girl was part of your family. Don't want her to steal all the glory, do we? Come on, everybody! Let's give a big round of applause to our newest tribute!" trilled Priscilla Lush.
The applause was scattered and confused, almost nonexistent, a rarity in District 4. Even a few of the people holding betting slips, the ones who are usually beyond caring, remained silent. Possibly because they knew Tansy as the strange fruit from 11, and knew how much the odds were against her, or because they knew her father, or Annie, who no one could help loving. Standing before that crowd that knew she was being sent to her death, it was all Tansy could do not to throw up. So instead of acknowledging the applause, she stood there silent and unmoving, like a statue.
Then something unexpected happened. At least, she hadn't expected it because she didn't think of District 4 as a place that particularly cared about her outside of her small circle. Others had always viewed her as though she was some kind of rare animal and kept their distance. But a shift had occurred since she stepped up to take Annie's place, and now it seemed she had become someone precious. At first one, then another, then almost every member of the crowd brought their right hand up to touch their right temple, palm down, in a salute. It was an old and rarely used gesture in the district, occasionally still seen at funerals of people whose families had been sailing since before the creation of Panem. It was a sign of respect, it meant thanks, it meant farewell to someone you admired.
Now Tansy truly was in danger of crying, but fortunately Finnick chose that moment to come forward and congratulate her. He put a steady arm around her to make sure she wouldn't start shaking in front of everyone and gave her a firm handshake as he greeted her, and he quietly encouraged her to smile and make nice for the cameras and the audience. He called out to Annie not to worry, reminded her that her little sister would be in good hands.
The Capitol was watching. It wouldn't be good for any of them to stand out as a reason for people to show dissent towards the games. In the worst case, an unenthusiastic response or lack of support from the crowd in District 4, one of the Capitol's darlings, could be taken as small form of rebellion. He knew how dangerous it was to be targeted.
Finnick redirected the audience's attention back to Priscilla Lush, who was ready to move on to the boys. As he stepped away from her, Tansy put her hands behind her back and stared into the distance. She could see part of the harbor. Tansy wished she could dive into the water and disappear.
"What an exciting day!" Priscilla warbled. "But more excitement to come! It's time to choose our boy tribute!" She crossed the stage to the ball that contained the boys' names and grabbed the first slip she encountered. She zipped back to the podium and read the name. "Kevin Fischer."
Kevin Fischer!
'Oh, no,' Tansy thought. 'Not him.' Because she recognized this boy. His father worked on the same crew as theirs, and she and Annie had even babysat him on occasion while their fathers were away on an extended fishing expedition.
She watched him as he made his way toward the stage. He had only just turned twelve. Short height, stocky build, copper red hair that framed his face like a curly mop. The shock of the moment was registering in his expression. You could see him struggle to remain calm, but his hazel eyes showed the alarm he felt. Seeing how Tansy had to volunteer to save Annie had deeply unnerved him. He was not a Career either. Yet he followed Tansy's example and climbed steadily onto the stage and took his place.
Then Priscilla Lush asked for volunteers, and Tansy didn't even have time to wish for his safety when a strapping sixteen-year-old stepped forward and boldly declared his intention to volunteer. Tansy couldn't place his name but she recognized his face. She had seen him around town and knew he frequented the training center for Careers. Judging by the expressions on the faces in the crowd, his decision to volunteer had come as no surprise. They must have chosen him to represent the district for the boys this year. After all, it was only the girls who lacked a decent representative this year.
Once again, Tansy watched as the new tribute made his way toward the stage. He was tall, muscular, with bronze skin, and dark hair that fell in waves over his forehead. He was proud, confident. His blue eyes shined without a trace of fear. He hopped excitedly onto the stage and took his place, while Kevin Fischer was promptly dismissed and sent back down to the crowd. The younger boy could not hide his relief, and Tansy couldn't blame him. She didn't want to be up there either. She was glad she would at least be spared the possibility of having to fight someone she used to sing lullabies to.
Kevin's replacement needed very little encouragement from Priscilla or the crowd. He introduced himself with a winning smile. "My name is Sean Halloran," he said cockily, "You may want to remember that, because it's the name you'll be hearing when they announce the next victor." He was almost as handsome as Finnick and twice as full of himself.
The applause was steady this time, but there was no salute. Finnick crossed the stage and congratulated Sean Halloran. He smiled and shook his hand for the cameras as well. Then he moved back to his seat beside Mags. It was the mayor's turn to speak next.
The mayor began to read the long, dull Treaty of Treason as he does every year at this point—it's required—but Tansy wasn't listening to a word.
She was looking out at the harbor again, reminding herself of all the reasons why she couldn't run. If she wasn't there, then who would replace Annie? Annie had to be saved. Annie wasn't a Career. Annie knew how to identify edible sea life and had average skills with a trident. Tansy could identify edible and medicinal plants on land as well as in the Ocean. Tansy could also use a trident and was handy with a slingshot, too. The only real advantage that Annie had over her was being four years older. She was too kind and gentle for the games. Annie would die, or, maybe even worse, they would destroy her the same way they destroyed Tansy's mother. Tansy refused to sit back and watch that happen to her. Tansy knew she still had four years worth of chances to be picked left. Who was to say that she wouldn't have been reaped next year anyway? If that was the case, she may as well get it over with now, especially if it meant being able to save Annie. After this year, Annie would be too old to be reaped. She would be safe then. That alone made the terror worth it.
The mayor finished the dreary Treaty of Treason and motioned for Sean and Tansy to shake hands. His are as solid and warm as rocks in the sun. Sean looked her right in the eye and tilted his head slightly as though he wasn't sure what to make of her.
They turned back to face the crowd as the anthem of Panem played.
'Oh, well,' Tansy thought, 'maybe I'll get lucky.' Maybe her death would be quick since the odds were against her.
The moment the anthem ended, Tansy and Sean were taken into custody. They weren't handcuffed or anything, but a group of Peacekeepers marched them through the front door of the Justice Building. Maybe tributes had tried to escape in the past. Tansy had never seen that happen though.
Once inside, she was conducted to a room and left alone. It was the richest place she had ever been in, with thick, deep carpets and a velvet couch and chairs. She knew velvet because her mother used to have an old dress made of the stuff. When she sat on the couch, she couldn't help running her fingers over the fabric repeatedly. It helped to calm her as she tried to prepare for the next hour. The time allotted for the tributes to say good-bye to their loved ones. She could not afford to get upset, to leave this room with puffy eyes and a red nose. Crying was not an option. There would be more cameras at the train station.
Annie and her father came first. Tansy reached out to Annie and she sat down beside her and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. Their father sat on the other side of Tansy and rubbed her back in soothing circles like he did when she was younger and up all night with a nasty chest cold. For a few minutes, they said nothing. Then Annie started crying again, apologizing through her tears. Tansy felt a familiar ache in her chest, but it wasn't a cold. It felt like someone had reached inside and given her heart a sharp squeeze. Tansy tightened her grip on her sister and told her she didn't have anything to apologize for, that she had made her own choice. It wasn't Annie's fault. Whatever happened from now on, none of it was her fault. Tansy didn't want her to be sad.
Then she started telling Annie and their father all the things they must remember to do, now that she would not be there with them. It was mostly little things like how Annie should take extra care while foraging, because she always mixed up elderberries with pokeberries, and pokeberries were poisonous.
"We'll be all right, Tansy," said Annie, clasping her younger sister's face in her hands. "But you have to take care, too. You're so fast and brave and smart. Maybe you can win."
Tansy looked at her sister. She couldn't win. Annie must know that in her heart. The competition would be far beyond her abilities. Kids like Sean Halloran, who had been trained their whole lives for this. Boys who were two to three times her size. Girls who knew twenty ways to kill you with a knife. Oh, there would be people like her, too. People to be weeded out before the real fun began.
"Maybe," Tansy said, because she could hardly tell them to carry on if she had already given up on herself. Besides, it wasn't in her nature to go down without a fight, even when things seemed insurmountable. Her days in 11 had taught her that. "Then we'd be rich as Finnick and Mags. Either way, at least you're safe now."
"I don't care about that. I don't care if we're rich. I just want you to come home. You'll try, won't you? I mean really, really try?" Annie asked urgently, practically begging.
"I will. I'll really try, I swear," Tansy said. And she knew, because of Annie, she would have to. Because at that moment she realized that if she didn't win, Annie would never forgive herself. And that was unacceptable.
Then the Peacekeeper was at the door, signaling their time was up, and they were all hugging one another so hard it hurt and all Tansy could say was "I love you. I love you both." And they were saying it back and Annie was pushing the abalone pearl into her hand for good luck, and then the Peacekeeper ordered them out and the door closed. Tansy clutched the pearl in her hand and buried her head in one of the velvet pillows as if this could block the whole thing out.
Someone else entered the room, and when she looked up, she was surprised to see one of the boys from her school, Dylan Billows. It was strange to see him there. He was from the rich part of town, a quiet boy who usually kept to himself. The only time they had ever directly interacted with each other was when he got grouped with her and Mari for a school project. Even then, he had hardly spoken a word to her. So why had he come to see her now?
Dylan stood awkwardly before her. He was fidgeting and holding something behind his back. Suddenly, he threw his hands out in front of him and shoved the small package into her hands, blurted out the words "I've always liked you!", and dashed out of the room without waiting to hear her answer.
Tansy stared after him, stunned. She never would have guessed. Inside the white paper package was a whole assortment of brightly colored candies. They were a luxury that she could rarely afford. Sugar was expensive and very valuable. The amount of money he must have paid for such a large amount made her head spin.
Her next guest was also unexpected. Mari walked straight to her. She was not weepy or evasive, instead there was an urgency to her tone that surprised Tansy.
"Listen to me," she said. "You can win this. It's not impossible. You never talk about it, but you're someone with skills and knowledge from two different districts. That means you should be more well-rounded than any of the other tributes. That's got to be worth something. You've swum with sharks! If you can do that, you can do anything. Promise me you'll try."
Tansy wanted to argue that humans were scarier than sharks, because they were trickier. Because only humans killed each other simply for sport. Instead she said, "I promise."
Mari stared at her, gazing searchingly for what felt like a long while. Then she hugged Tansy and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then she was gone and Tansy was left thinking that maybe Mari really had been her friend all along. Tansy looked down at the package of candy sitting in her lap. She wished she had at least offered one to her before she left.
Tansy sat there in silence, waiting for the door to open again. She didn't know how long she sat there before Mags finally poked her head in and joined her. Apparently, no one else was coming, otherwise Mags wouldn't have bothered using up part of her visiting hour, since they would have up until the start of the game to settle their affairs with each other.
Mags sat down beside her on the velvet couch and gave her a small smile and a reassuring pat on the hand. Tansy offered her some candy. Mags selected a bright green one with yellow stripes and popped it into her mouth. She made a face at the sour flavor that earned her a little laugh from Tansy, but her mirth was short-lived. Tansy leaned her head against Mags and rested it on her shoulder. Together the two of them waited in silence for the hour to run out. The Peacekeepers were back too soon and Mags had to leave. The mentors were going to the train station in their own car, but they would see each other again on the train.
It was a short ride from the Justice Building to the train station. The only other time Tansy had ever been in a car before was when she was taken to the train station near District 11 to be sent off to live in 4. She had occasionally ridden in wagons, but in both 11 and 4 she mostly traveled on foot.
She had been right not to cry. The station was swarming with reporters with their insectlike cameras trained directly on her face. But Tansy had lots of practice at putting on a brave face and she did it now. She caught a glimpse of herself on the television screen on the wall that was airing her arrival live and felt gratified that she appeared almost bored.
Sean Halloran, on the other hand, was positively beaming and appeared to be doing his best to ensure the cameras captured his good side. Tansy immediately wondered if this would be his strategy in the games. To make himself as visually appealing as possible in order to attract as many sponsors as possible. She wondered if his plan was to try to become the next Finnick Odair. The problem with that was there was only one true Finnick Odair, and standing next to him would make anyone look plain.
They had to stand for a few minutes in the doorway of the train while the cameras gobbled up their images, then they were allowed inside and the doors closed mercifully behind them. The train began to move at once.
The speed initially took Tansy's breath away. She had been on a train once before, but that was years ago. Travel between the districts was normally forbidden except for officially sanctioned duties. For District 4, that was mainly transporting seafood and pearls. They could create an artificial version in District 1, but natural pearls were still in popular demand. There was nothing like the beauty of pearl that had been cultivated in the wild. But this was no ordinary shipping train. It was one of the high-speed Capitol models that averaged 250 miles per hour. Their journey to the Capitol would take less than a day.
In school, they said the Capitol was built in a place once called the Rockies. District 4 was in a region known as California. Even hundreds of years ago, they harvested seafood and pearls there.
Somehow it all came back to seafood in school. In 11 it was agriculture. Besides basic reading and math most of their instruction in 4 was related to the fishing industry. Except for the weekly lecture on the history of Panem. It was mostly a lot of bubble and froth about what they owed the Capitol. Tansy knew there must be more than they were telling them, an actual account of what happened during the rebellion. But she didn't spend much time thinking about it. She had trained herself not to.
When she was younger, she scared her mother to death, the things questions she would ask and the things she would blurt out about District 11, about the people who ruled their country, Panem, from the far-off city called the Capitol. Eventually she understood this would only lead them into more trouble. Especially when her mother was so frightened by what she was saying one day, because they were out in public where anyone could overhear, that she panicked and slapped her that first and only time just to make her stop. So Tansy learned to hold her tongue and to put on a brave face and do her best to smile even when she was unhappy so that no one would ever know what she was really thinking. She did her work quietly at school. Made only polite small talk in the public market. Discussed little more than work, diving, and harmless things like fishing and collecting seashells. Even at home she avoided discussing tricky topics. Like the reaping, or food shortages, or the Hunger Games. The ever-looming threat of punishment by the strict and harsh Peacekeepers of 11 and her mother's extreme fear had been seared into her memory. She didn't want to make trouble for Annie and their father. Whatever the truth was, she didn't see how it would help them put food on the table.
The tribute train was fancier than even the room in the Justice Building. They were each given their own chambers that had a bedroom, dressing area, and a private bathroom with hot and cold running water.
There were drawers filled with fine clothes, and Priscilla Lush told Tansy to do anything she wanted, wear anything she wanted, everything was at her disposal. Just be ready for supper in an hour. Tansy didn't feel like facing the others again just yet. She peeled off the frilly pink dress Annie had picked out for her and took a warm shower. Tansy had had showers before, rinsing off sand in the locker room after work, but nothing like this. It was like being in a summer rain, only warmer. She put her choker back on and dressed in a blue shirt, pants, and a sweater. It was cold on the train.
Priscilla Lush came to collect her for supper. Tansy followed her through the narrow, rocking corridor into the dining room with polished paneled walls. There was a table where all the dishes were highly breakable. Tansy made a note to avoid that. Mags, Finnick, and Sean Halloran sat waiting for them. Sean was already talking Finnick's ear off about trident techniques. Tansy took the empty seat next to Mags.
The supper came in courses. A thick celery soup, green salad, quail and corn stuffing smothered in a blueberry sauce, cheese and fruit, a chocolate cake with cherries. Throughout the meal, Priscilla kept reminding Tansy to save space because there was more to come. But Tansy was stuffing herself because she'd never had food like this, so good and so much—it was even better than the food in 4, which had been a phenomenal improvement over the bland scraps in 11—and because she was not in the habit of leaving food on her plate.
"Well," said Finnick, "glad to see you still have an appetite."
"Yeah, you looked like you were going to throw up when you were on stage," Sean added with a smirk.
Tansy shrugged. She felt strangely calm after her shower. "I don't know, guess I'm still in shock. Maybe my body's saving up for a nervous breakdown."
"Just make sure you don't have it in the arena," said Finnick.
"Your compassion is overwhelming," Tansy quipped, stuffing another spoonful of dessert in her mouth.
Finnick and Mags were relieved. They were still worried about her, but it was a good sign if she still had enough spirit left to make jokes.
Tansy noticed Sean was staring at her. "What?"
"I just think you have a lot of guts talking to a victor like that," he said, as if she had done something daring.
"I've had worse," Finnick said with a dismissively. He smirked. "I still remember the first time we met. She shook my hand with a crushing grip, leaned in real close, and told me: 'I don't care who you are. If you hurt my sister in anyway, I'll break your face.'"
Now Sean and Priscilla were both staring at Tansy as if she had grown a second head. Threatening to rearrange Finnick's perfect face was beyond blasphemous.
"Did I?" Tansy asked, surprised. She glanced at Mags, who nodded in confirmation. "I don't remember that. But I wouldn't be surprised if I forgot. I blame the punch. I didn't realize it was spiked until it was too late, so I ended up drinking too much and got drunk. Sorry. I didn't mean to say something like that."
Finnick raised an eyebrow at her. "So it was an empty threat?"
Tansy's lips curled into a small but wicked smile. "Oh, no. I'll definitely break your face if you hurt her. I just didn't mean to say it out loud."
Finnick and Mags laughed. Sean looked confused. And Priscilla was wearing that tight, white smile again. Tansy wondered if that was the face she made when she was annoyed.
Tansy had begun to regret her decision to stuff her face. Now that the meal was over, she was fighting to keep the food down. Her stomach wasn't used to consuming such rich fare in such large amounts. But she was determined to hold onto it.
They went to another compartment to watch the recap of the reapings across Panem. They tried to stagger them throughout the day so a person could conceivably watch the whole thing live, but only people in the Capitol could really do that, since none of them had to attend reapings themselves.
One by one, they saw the other reapings, the names called, the volunteers stepping forward or, more often, not. They examined the faces of the kids who would be their competition. A few stood out in Tansy's mind. A monstrous boy who lunged forward to volunteer from District 2. A twitchy boy from District 3.
Next, they showed District 4. It felt surreal for Tansy to be watching it all happen again from the outside. Annie being called, her running forward to volunteer. You couldn't miss the desperation in her voice as she clutched Annie's sleeve to stop her, as if she was afraid no one would hear, and they would take Annie away. But, of course, they did hear. She saw her father pulling Annie off her and watched herself mount the stage. The commentators are not sure what to say about the crowd's hesitation. The silent salute. One said how unusual it was for a younger sibling to volunteer to save an older one. As if on cue, Finnick stepped forward to shake her hand and congratulate her. This seemed to mollify them a bit. The first commentator seemed very touched. Another made a stupid remark about not seeing the family resemblance between Tansy and Annie at all. Another revealed her 'impressive' lineage as the daughter of former victor Chicory Fields. Kevin's name was drawn and Sean volunteered, and sauntered up to the stage brimming with energy and smiles. The crowd responded with a stronger applause. The commentators interpreted that to mean he must be the local favorite. Finnick shook Sean's hand and congratulated him, too. The commentators were thrilled to have two handsome men on the stage at once. One of them made a joke that they may have their next Finnick Odair, but then he and the others laughed. That was impossible. She and Sean shook hands. They cut to the next district.
Another tribute who stood out to Tansy was a particularly small girl from District 7. And, most hauntingly, a fourteen-year-old girl and a fifteen-year-old boy from District 11. They both had dark brown skin and honey eyes and had slight builds, though the boy was taller and had more muscle. Anyone could tell they were siblings. And, worst of all, she knew them. Those were two faces That Tansy would never forget, no matter how much they changed. They were the faces of her two oldest and best friends. Pepper and Root Thresher. When they mounted the stage and volunteers were asked for, all you could hear was wind whistling through the decrepit buildings around them. There was no one willing to take his or her place. Tansy barely had time to make it over to the wastebasket in the corner before she started heaving her guts out. Of all the people they could have picked, why did it have to be those two?
Mags straightened up in alarm and shared a concerned look with Finnick, who stood up and crossed the room to hold Tansy's hair back for her while she finished emptying the contents of her stomach into the metal can. Priscilla and Sean watched and grimaced in disgust. When she was done, Tansy managed to give Finnick a small thanks. Priscilla Lush tutted with disapproval when she moved to wipe her mouth with her sleeve and quickly placed a silk handkerchief in Tansy's hand instead.
"You can keep it," the escort told her.
Last of all, they showed District 12. The girl walked with a limp that would make running or climbing trees difficult. She shook hands with the boy. They cut to the anthem again, and the program ended.
Priscilla Lush seemed relieved. "Well, good work, Finnick. That was quick thinking on your part. Those handshakes really helped to keep our reaping from becoming too awkward. I think everyone came of well in the end."
Mags nodded in agreement. She put an arm around Tansy when she returned to her seat beside her. She didn't know who Pepper and Root were to her, but it was obvious from Tansy's reaction that she must have known them at some point.
Priscilla announced that she was going to turn in early to catch up on her beauty sleep.
Sean snorted when she left the room. "Why call it beauty sleep, when she wakes up looking like a troll?"
"Don't let her hear you," Finnick said, casting a glance over his shoulder to make sure Priscilla wasn't about to pop back into the room and rip their boy tribute a new one.
"Not someone to cross," Mags agreed sagely. She turned to Tansy and patted her on the hand. "You should sleep, too."
Tansy wasn't sure she could, but she nodded obediently and stood up to leave. " 'Night," she said quietly and slipped out of the room.
"Good night!" Sean called after her, flashing a mock salute at her back.
"That was aimed at you, too," Finnick told him. "You should sleep while you can. I think everyone's had enough excitement for one day."
When Tansy got back to her room, the train was pausing at a platform to refuel. She opened the window in an attempt to get some fresh air, but quickly shut it again. It smelled too much like fumes from fuel outside. There was a patch of dandelions by the track. She only saw the image for a moment, but it was enough. Enough to remind her of those other dandelions on the side of another road in District 11 years ago…
She had just finished working a shift with Pepper and Root and their older brother Martin. They were walking home under the hot summer sun when they saw three dandelions growing on the side or the road. Four, one for each of them. They each grabbed one and carefully made a wish. For food. More food. Rain. And happiness. Then they blew on their weeds and scattered the puffy white seeds in the air. A couple of passing adults scolded them for helping the weeds to spread, but the three children were already hopping and skipping away. All along the way to Pepper and Root's home, they collected any and everything that was considered edible to add to their small collection of dandelions. No one cared about the weeds, so foraging for them was much safer than trying to take crops from the fields. That was a lesson Tansy and Pepper had learned the hard way. A few times they had to correct Martin, who would pluck things like grass and foxglove, which was poisonous. There was something different about Martin. He was a little slow, but he wasn't dumb. You just had to take time to explain things more carefully. He would get it eventually. Her friends also had another sibling, baby Finch. Finch was the sweetest little thing that Tansy had ever seen, but she screamed and wailed like a banshee when she was cranky. By the time they reached the shack the Thresher family lived in, Tansy and her friends had managed to gather a nice bundle of greens between them. Even though they had so little to share and were just barely surviving even with the tesserae, the Threshers never turned her away. Mr. and Mrs. Fresher always made sure she was getting enough to eat and would come with her to check on her mother when she needed help. Pepper and Root even showed her how to find food outside the fields for emergencies. She didn't know how she would have made it without them.
Tansy started to feel sick again. She had promised Annie and Mari that she would try to win, but there was no way she could kill those two. She reached into the package of sweets that she had left on the table beside the bed and popped a pink one into her mouth. It was sweet. So sweet she could cry. Tansy flopped back on the bed and stared at the smooth ceiling while she sucked on the hard candy, trying not to think. That was easier said than done.
She turned her head and stared out the train window, wondering what would happen if she tried to open it again at such a high speed. Probably best not to. In the distance, she could see the lights of another district. 6? 8? She didn't know. She thought about the people in their houses, settling in for bed. She imagined her home, with its shutters drawn tight. What were they doing now, her father and Annie? What did they decide to eat for supper? Were they able to eat anything at all? Or did it lie untouched on their plates? Did they watch the recap of the day's events on the old TV that sits on the table against the wall? Surely, there were more tears. How was Annie holding up? And their father, who probably wouldn't say a word even if he was suffering? He was undoubtedly doing his best to stay strong for Annie.
Annie would be sleeping alone tonight, too. For the first time in four years. If she cried, there would be no one lying there to hold her. She would be alone, crying with her face buried in the pillow until she exhausted herself and fell asleep. Tansy wished she could comfort her somehow.
Imagining her home made her ache with loneliness. This day had been endless. Could she and her father have gone out in the boat only that morning? It seemed like a lifetime ago. Like a long dream that deteriorated into a nightmare. Maybe, if she went to sleep, she would wake up in District 4, where she belonged. Unfortunately, she was wide awake. It would probably help if changed out of her clothes.
The drawers held an impressive number of nightgowns. Silk, satin, chiffon, embellished and expensive. But Tansy just stripped of her shirt and pants and pulled on a simple nightgown of soft cotton. The sheets were made of soft, silky fabric. A thick fluffy comforter gives immediate warmth.
If she was going to cry, now was the time to do it. By morning, she would be able to wash the damage done by the tears from her face. But no tears came. Just emptiness. The kind of sorrow that left you hollow inside. The only thing she felt was a desire to be somewhere else.
She was actually relieved to hear someone knock on her door. She got up and opened it to find Finnick standing in the hall, holding a cup of what looked like warm milk but smelled sweet like vanilla and cinnamon with a hint of honey.
"I thought you might have trouble sleeping," he explained. "This helps sometimes."
He was being so nice that Tansy was caught off guard and accidently bit her candy, shattering it with an extremely loud crunch.
Finnick stared at her. "What was that?"
Tansy finished chewing and swallowed. "Candy."
"Candy?" He asked, surprised.
"A boy from school gave it to me," she said, not sure why she felt the sudden need to explain.
Finnick raised and eyebrow and tried not to look too amused. "Oh?"
Tansy furrowed her brow and frowned slightly as she tried to avoid eye contact. "He said he liked me and ran away." She could feel her cheeks heating up. She hoped she wasn't blushing. But maybe if she was, Finnick would tease her about it and things would feel more normal.
"That's not surprising."
Tansy narrowed her eyes slightly at him and clenched one of her hands into a fist. She was tempted to let him have it, but the milk would make a mess if he dropped it. And was against her personal creed to waste food. "We can't all be as popular as you, you know."
Actually, Finnick was surprised there hadn't been more. The truth was he happened to know a lot of the boys around her age had a crush on her. It was just that none of them had the guts to do anything about it because they also found her intimidating. She was fairly tall for her age. But he had a feeling Tansy would punch him in the arm if he told her that. So instead he said, "Well, can I come in or are you going to make me stand out here all night?"
Tansy stood there and considered it for a moment before stepping aside to let him in. Once he was safely inside, he handed over the milk. His expression was grave.
"I promised Annie I would get you home."
Tansy was tempted to tell him he shouldn't make promises he couldn't keep, but she wasn't any better. "I promised her I'd try to win. But that's easier said than done."
"Because of those kids from 11?" he asked.
"Yeah." She looked at the floor and bit her lip. "We grew up together. They're my friends. I can't kill them, Finnick."
"Maybe you won't have to," he said grimly. "There will be twenty-four of you. Odds are someone else will take them out."
"Maybe," she said quietly, afraid she was going to be sick again. She didn't want that either.
Of course, the odds had not been very dependable of late.
Finnick waited with her while she drank her milk. It was warm and comforting, very soothing. She could feel herself relax despite her worries. He insisted on staying until she fell asleep, since he had promised Annie that he would take care of her. He knew she and Annie shared a room and a bed. He seemed to be under the impression that she was having trouble falling asleep because she was alone. He may have been right about that, but it was still mortifying to have him treat her so much like a child. He wasn't that much older than her.
"Fine, but only for tonight," she eventually conceded. He wasn't going to be there to hold her hand in the games. She needed to get used to being alone again.
"Just for tonight," he agreed.
With that decided, he sat beside her bed in silence and watched while the warm milk took effect, and she let the train rock her into oblivion.
Gray light was leaking through the curtains when the rapping roused Tansy. She heard Priscilla Lush's voice calling her to rise. "Up, up, up! It's going to be a big, big day!" Tansy tried to imagine, for a moment, what it must be like in that woman's head. What thoughts filled her waking hours? What dreams came to her at night? She had no idea.
Tansy got up and saw the chair Finnick had been sitting in the previous night was empty. Of course it was. He would have gone back to his own bed to sleep. Otherwise, it would have been too weird if he had climbed in with her. She discarded her nightgown and put on a knee-length green dress. Tansy teased the knots out of her curls, but decided to leave her hair as it was. It didn't really matter. They couldn't be far from the Capitol now. And once they reached the city, her stylist would dictate her look for the opening ceremonies that night anyway. She just hoped she didn't get one who thought nudity was the last word in fashion.
As she entered the dining car, Priscilla Lush brushed by her with a cup of creamy coffee. She was muttering obscenities under her breath. Sean, whose face had a red handprint tattooed to the side of his face, was staring straight ahead, stunned. Tansy wondered what he had said to the escort to make her so mad. She gave Mags a questioning look.
"Nothing worth repeating," Mags replied with a shake of her head.
"That coffee smells amazing," Finnick remarked, coming up behind her. "Scoot, you're blocking the hall," he chided Tansy playfully, herding her to the table.
The moment they slid into their chairs, they were served enormous platters of food. Eggs, ham, piles of fried potatoes. A tureen of fruit sat in ice to keep it chilled. The basket of rolls they set before them could keep a family of three going for a week. An elegant glass of orange juice was placed in front of Tansy. A cup of coffee. Her father adored coffee, which was considered a treat in their house, but it only tasted bitter and thin to her. There was also rich brown cup of something she had never seen before.
"They call it hot chocolate," said Finnick. "Trust me, you'll like it."
Tansy took a sip of the hot, sweet, creamy liquid and a shudder ran through her. It was the best thing she had ever tasted in her entire life. Even though the rest of the meal beckoned, she ignored it until she had finished draining her cup. Then she stuffed down every mouthful she could hold, which was a substantial amount, being careful not to overdo it on the richest stuff.
"Why do you always eat like you'll never see food again?" Sean asked.
She retorted with, "Why did Priscilla slap you?"
"How is that any of your business?"
"Why are you answering a question with another question?"
"Why are you so annoying?"
"Guys," Finnick said, interrupting before it got ridiculous. "You can flirt later. Right now we've got bigger fish to fry. In a few minutes, we'll be pulling into the station. You'll be put in the hands of your stylists. You're not going to like what they do to you. But, Tansy, no matter what it is, don't resist."
"Why am I being singled out?" Tansy asked.
"Because I know you," he answered smartly.
She made a face at him in response.
"But seriously, don't resist."
The car went dark. It seemed an eerie coincidence to Tansy. There were still a few lights inside, but outside it was as if night had fallen again. She realized they must be in the tunnel that ran up through the mountains to the Capitol. They must have swung around to the east sometime last night. The mountains formed a natural barrier between the Capitol and the eastern districts. It was almost impossible to enter from the east except through the tunnels. This geographical advantage was a major factor in the districts losing the war that led to her being a tribute today. Since the rebels had to scale the mountains, they were easy targets for the Capitol's air forces. The tunnel seemed to go on an on.
The train finally began to slow and suddenly bright light flooded the compartment. Sean ran to the window. Tansy followed at a slower, more careful pace. She couldn't help it. They were both drawn to see what they'd only seen on television, the Capitol, the ruling city of Panem. The cameras hadn't lied about its grandeur. If anything, they had not quite captured the magnificence of the glistening buildings in rainbow hues that towered into the air, the shiny cars that rolled down the wide paved streets, the oddly dressed people with bizarre hair and painted faces who have never missed a meal. All the colors seemed artificial, the pinks too deep, the greens too bright, the yellows painful to the eyes, like the hard candies Dylan gave her. She wondered if their sense of color had become warped because they lived were surrounded by a manmade environment and seemed to have little exposure to nature and its colors.
The people began to point at them eagerly as they recognized the tribute train rolling into the city. Tansy stepped away from the window, sickened by their excitement, knowing they couldn't wait to watch them die. She returned to her seat at the table. But Sean held his ground, smiling and waving at the gawking crowd. He only stopped when the train pulled into the station, blocking them from their view.
He saw Tansy staring and shrugged. "Who knows?" he says. "One of them could be rich."
This confirmed Tansy's suspicion that at least one of his strategies was to play to the crowd to gather sponsors.
"He's right," Finnick said. "Never forget who could be watching. A good sponsor can be the difference between life or death."
"Don't worry, I'm sure you're not entirely hopeless," Sean told her. "Once the stylists get hold of you, you'll be attractive enough."
If not for Finnick holding Tansy back, Sean Halloran would have had another matching handprint on the other side of his face when he stepped off the train.
