Chapter 15: Codeword – S.H. (short, but sweet)

"Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule." – Samuel Butler


Things over the next few days seemed to go quite well. Sydney and Vaughn were left alone, his breathing officially only required the tube oxygen now, he had started to eat solid food with her help and seemed to be in better spirits overall. She would help him through the pain when there was any, sometimes with what they were officially calling "S.H." – sexual healing. Sydney couldn't help but smile because it really did seem to work. If he was having a nightmare or was in really bad pain, it all seemed to dissolve after she made love to him. Finally over lunch one day, she had to ask. She had just given him a mouthful of mashed potatoes when she asked, "Vaughn, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah…sure."

"Why does our S.H. help you so much?"

He coughed and almost choked on the potatoes, and winced as a pain shot through him.

"I'm sorry sweetie," Sydney said apologetically.

"No, it's ok, I just…uh…wasn't really prepared for that question." He thought a moment and then answered, "Well…I trust you Sydney, more than I've ever trusted anyone. And on top of that I'm completely in love with you. Knowing that you're there, that'd you'd do anything for me, well…it's really comforting. I don't really think it has much to do with the actual act itself – although that's always amazing, I think it's more the emotion, the connection. I feel completely safe when I'm inside you Sydney, safer than I've ever felt before. I know that nothing can happen to me when I'm there, so…I can relax…and everything else just seems to melt away – all the pain, all the fear, everything. You're all that's left…you told me to focus on you when we first did it, I think that's when I first punched in…so that's what I do…I focus on you…and everything else just doesn't matter…"

Vaughn looked over at her when he was finished and saw tears falling down her cheeks. "Hey, that wasn't supposed to make you cry, you know…"

"Oh Vaughn, that has got to be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me! God, I love you so much."

"I know…it shows…"

She put the spoon down that she'd been holding and passionately kissed him. Then she retook her position and got ready to finish helping him eat.

He looked up at her, "Hey, what the heck? You give me a kiss like that and all I'm supposed to do now is finish eating? Come on!" he smiled.

"Look mister, we can't just have S.H. all the time here, no matter how much we want it…we do have to have a reasonable sense of modesty and discretion, we are in a hospital Vaughn." She leaned down and kissed him again. "Now come on, the sooner you finish your potatoes, the sooner we may be able to get to the S.H.ing."

"Bring on the potatoes!" Vaughn said.

She laughed and helped him finish.