Author's note: I apologize in advance for being a bad songwriter, so I had to borrow heavily from other sources. This was done on purpose for the folk songs, but Tansy's lullaby is supposed to be an original song created by her mother. I don't own a word of it. I'm sure you Sweeney Todd and Barbra Streisand fans out there will recognize it. Well, putting my unabashed stealing of song lyrics aside, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!
Chapter 8: The Flood
Since the hovercraft didn't come for the bodies, Tansy and Pepper assumed that meant they were too close to them. So they removed themselves from the canyon so it could take Root home for a proper burial before his body started to rot. They sat in the woods and watched the sky through the trees. They didn't have to wait long. The hovercraft appeared soon after they left. The girls held each other while they watched it retrieve the bodies of their enemies and their beloved Root.
"Sing something, Tansy," said Pepper, clutching her friend with her eyes fixed on the sky. "I can't stand the silence."
So Tansy sang another song. An old spiritual. Despite her sorrow, her voice rang as sweet and clear as a crystal bell. She let all of her emotions—her fears and her pain—everything she felt but couldn't say aloud, flow out of her and into the music.
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
I looked over yonder and what did I see
Comin' for to carry me home
A band of angels were a comin' for me
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
If you get to heaven before I do
Comin' for to carry me home
Tell all my friends I'm comin' there too
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
I'm sometimes up and sometimes down
Comin' for to carry me home
But still I know I'm heavenly bound
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
If I get there before you do
Comin' for to carry me home
I'll cut a hole and pull you through
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
She let her voice trail off into silence as the last body was lifted into the hovercraft.
Finnick stared at Tansy's image on the screen, transfixed. When she stopped singing, he realized he had been crying. He wasn't the only one. He looked at Mags and saw that she was already using a handkerchief to wipe away a few tears of her own. There wasn't a dry eye in the Capitol that day. Undistorted by the strange acoustics of the canyon's walls, Tansy's voice held the entire audience captive. It was the first time Finnick had ever heard her sing like that. Mags and Annie had bragged to him about Tansy's talent for singing before. At the time he had thought they were exaggerating because of their fondness for her but now he understood just how rudely he had been underestimating Tansy. Her voice was beautiful beyond description. Like the call of a siren. No words could ever do it justice.
He looked at her again, naked, covered from head to toe in clay and mud, with tracks of tears running down her face. She should have looked as frightened and vulnerable as her friend Pepper. But there was a kind of strength in the way she held herself. There was sadness in her eyes but it was not despair. It was the type of sadness that simply needed time to heal. There was still hope there. Yes, she had been hurt and scarred, deeply. But she was not yet defeated.
For a long time, Tansy and Pepper just sat there with their eyes fixed to the sky. They weren't ready to return to the canyon. The place where Root was tortured and murdered. The place where they became murderers in turn.
The sound of another cannon reminded them that it was a bad idea to remain out in the open, but they couldn't bring themselves to care. They were physically exhausted and their minds and hearts were filled with a weariness that no amount of sleep could cure. It wasn't until they saw the silver parachutes that they realized how hungry they were. They could smell the food before it landed. Numbly, out of nothing more than reflex, they reached for the containers that were now in front of them. From District 4, Tansy received a small pot of the quince stew she mentioned during her interview and a thermos of hot chocolate. The last one was probably a personal touch from Finnick and Mags. From District 11, Pepper had received a crescent roll. It might not seem like much, but the longer the Games lasted, the more expensive gift items became. It was an extravagant gift for a poor District like 11. But more than that, the food was a reminder that they were not alone. That they still had people rooting for them. Waiting for them to come home.
The girls broke the bread in half and shared the stew and hot chocolate between them. When they had finished eating, they finally made themselves move. The weather seemed to match their mood. It started to rain as they made their way back to the camp. It came down so hard that it stung their skin and battered their bodies. All the mud and clay still covering them was washed away. Their shelter was also in danger of being washed away by the fierce rain.
Tansy realized they needed to find better shelter soon, or all of their supplies would be ruined and they would be ill by the next morning. She gathered up what she could into her backpack and carefully led Pepper up the ledge to the mountain lion's old den. Pepper seemed reluctant to move but she leaned on Tansy and let her guide her without any argument.
The mouth of the cave was so small they had to crawl through it one at a time. But the inside was much larger, and most importantly it was warm and dry. Tansy pushed out the old bones that were scattered around on the floor and found two snags of rock to tie the cord to and made a line to hang up everything that needed drying. Pepper just sat on the floor and stared out at the rain. It scared Tansy. She had seen that look many times before. On her mother's face. The sleeping bag was damp but still warm, so Tansy helped Pepper into it and climbed in with her. She held her friend and stroked her hair, doing her best to comfort her. Tansy could tell Pepper had begun to slip away, but she didn't know what to say to bring her back. Her own grief was still too near. She was struggling to keep it contained, too. So she lay next to Pepper and held her friend in silence. They stared out through the mouth of the cave, listening to the rain, until sleep claimed them both.
Tansy awoke hours later to a low rumbling and was startled by what sounded like a great crash of waves against rock. Taking care not to disturb Pepper, she crawled from the sleeping bag to the mouth of the cave and peeked out just enough to catch a glimpse of what was going on below. Shielding her face from the whipping rain with her hands, Tansy could just make out the details of the canyon in the dim of twilight. She was startled by what she saw. A flash flood. The canyon had become filled with a torrent of rushing water that came more than halfway up the red rock walls. If they had tried to stay down there, the girls would have been washed away with the remains of their camp and dashed against the rocks. It was a very good thing Tansy decided to move when she did.
She let Pepper sleep and stayed huddled near the mouth of the cave to watch the nightly death recap. The anthem played and through the rain Tansy could make out the face of the girl from 2. The cannon they heard earlier had been for her. All of the Careers were dead now. But there was still the girl from 7. The boy from 10. There were four of them left.
Tansy crawled back into the sleeping bag. There was no need for a guard while the canyon was flooded like that. And even without it she doubted anyone would want to venture out into this deluge.
It was still raining when she woke the next day. The sky was so gray, it was hard to tell the time. Pepper spent most of the day lying in the sleeping bag and staring off into the distance. Tansy helped her despondent friend get dressed once their clothes were dry enough and then sat with her. The flood that kept out intruders also kept them trapped inside the cave. Their only source of food was the small store they had brought with them.
Tansy had debated the idea of trying to swim out but ultimately decided against it. Pepper didn't know how to swim and was in no condition to learn. And the strong pull of the current made it too reckless to try even for an experienced swimmer like Tansy. She could tell from the way the water pulled on her hand when she put it in that there was a dangerous undertow. She could get sucked straight down to the bottom if she wasn't careful.
So she remained beside Pepper and used the day to silently mourn Root with her. Tansy laid their edible goods out into rations and ate what little greens they had left. Pepper could sometimes be coaxed into nibbling on a leaf or two, but Tansy had a feeling it was mostly for her benefit. It broke her heart to see Pepper like that. She looked like someone who had nothing left to lose. It felt like she was giving up. Tansy tried gently to remind her that Root wouldn't want them to fall apart. That even though he was gone, she still had the rest of her family waiting for her back home. A strange look flickered briefly across Pepper's face for a moment, but Tansy couldn't quite place what it meant. Her friend merely gave a slight nod of her head and continued staring aimlessly at the wall of the cave.
Tansy didn't know what to do. She was running out of things to say. "I wouldn't mind, you know," Tansy said quietly. "If it was you who won." Pepper blinked. "I know how much your parents depended on you and Root. You could all finally live without having to worry about getting enough to eat. And Baby Finch wouldn't need to put her name in for tesserae…" She paused when Pepper placed her hand on hers and gave it a squeeze. Tears were running down her friend's face again.
"Can you sing another song, Tansy?" She asked, struggling to keep her voice from breaking. "Finch and Martin used to love it when you sang. No matter how moody those two got, they'd always stop their wailing and whining when you started. Even the birds stopped to listen, and the mockingjays would sing back to you, remember?"
Tansy bit her lip as tears formed in her eyes. "I remember. What do you want me to sing?"
"That lullaby your momma sang while our backs were being treated after the whipping," Pepper said softly. "I always liked that one."
Tansy chewed nervously on her lip, drawing blood. That song brought up a lot of conflicting and painful emotions and memories for her. But Pepper had finally begun to open up again. There was no way she could refuse. Tansy took a few deep breaths to calm herself and steadied her voice before she started singing.
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around
Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays
I'll send them howling
I don't care, I got ways
No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there!
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...
Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to,
I would never hide a thing from you,
Like some...
No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there!
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...
Tears flooded down Tansy cheeks, and she was struggling to keep up with them. That song, which had once been so comforting, was now part of the terrible memory of a broken promise. Her mother hadn't been around for years. Her suicide had given Tansy scars that were too deep to ever fully heal. She wiped her eyes desperately and, before she could completely fall apart, started to sing one of the songs Annie taught her, a song that she often sang when she missed her mother.
Bright morning stars are rising
Bright morning stars are rising
Bright morning stars are rising
Day is a breaking in my soul
Oh where are our dear Fathers
Oh where are our dear Fathers
They are down in the valley a praying
Day is a breaking in my soul
Oh where are our dear Mothers
Oh where are our dear Mothers
They are gone to heaven a shouting
Day is a breaking in my soul
Bright morning stars are rising
Bright morning stars are rising
Bright morning stars are rising
Day is a breaking in my soul
Although she had learned it in District 4, Bright Morning Stars did not originate there. In fact, it was in the region District 12 lay where the song was first sung many centuries ago. It was an ancient song and had become so wide spread at one point, before the districts were walled in and segregated, that it was now known in many other districts as well.
Images of the other two remaining tributes were shown with Tansy's voice singing in the background, intercut with footage of the two friends in the cave. The small girl from 7 was shivering in the rain, huddled up in tree under a piece of plastic, surrounded by a myriad of deadly traps designed to take out anyone who dared to approach. Some of them had been set off by the heavy rain. Her cheeks were hollow and gaunt from starvation and her nose still showed signs of early frostbite. She was greedily devouring a can of beans she had managed to snag from the Cornucopia while the boy from 10 fought the girl from 2. The boy from 10 had killed the girl from 2 and taken over the Cornucopia. He was shown dragging her body away from it in the rain, so the hovercraft would come to collect it, and using a small gas stove to cook slices of canned meat and vegetables. The first real meal he'd had in ten days. Pepper's tears flowed freely as she clung to Tansy. Tansy held her friend and stroked her hair, doing her best to comfort her while a few more tears of her own fell.
Mags and Finnick held each hands as they watched. The way her melodic voice moved the song between feelings of sorrow and hope made the images on their screen all the more potent. Yet there was also something cleansing about it. There was the sense of a weight being lifted.
By the end of her song, the rain had stopped, the clouds began to part. Thin streaks of orange sunlight could be seen breaking through the darkness. From their high vantage point, Tansy could see slivers of a red sunset in the distance. For the first time, they noticed there was something black blocking part of the sky, like a second wall, above the waterfall. But it was difficult to tell much else about it in the fading light. Pepper continued to cry throughout the night until they both fell asleep from exhaustion.
A bright and clear morning broke the day after. The floodwaters that had filled it the day before disappeared as quickly as they had come. All that crying from the previous day seemed to have done Pepper some good. She appeared more alert and made an effort to get out of bed. The girls sat out on the ledge for a while, staring down at the muddy canyon in amazement. Then they looked up at the wall that they had discovered over the waterfall the previous evening and saw that it was a manmade dam. The waterfall had been created by water flowing through the dam's floodgates. While the girls pondered that, they finally opened the packages of crackers and dried beef for their breakfast.
When they finished, they packed up their gear. They knew they couldn't stay there. They were out of food and low on water. They couldn't afford to let themselves become trapped again and it was too dangerous on the ground if rained again and there was another flash flood. They had to leave the canyon.
Their descent from the cave was nerve-wracking. They kept their movements slow and careful but there were still a couple of close calls where the waterlogged clay on the ledge crumbled under their weight and they almost slipped and fell. They managed to make it down safely with only a few new scrapes and bruises. The floor of the canyon was now a muddy soup that came up to their ankles and made it difficult to walk. Tansy almost lost a shoe when the suction sucked it off of her foot. After that the girls removed their socks and shoes and went barefoot. It was a little easier to walk that way, but they were worried about what could be hiding in the mud. They saw a snake slithering across the top of it not too far away.
They knew they had to make their way to the river if they wanted more water when they saw that all that was left of their watering hole was a shallow muddy puddle that was too filthy to drink from. From what they could see out of the canyon's narrow opening, the woods had not been affected by the flood at all. It must have been a localized event in the canyon. The floodwaters probably emptied out elsewhere.
It didn't take them long to find the sheep. They could hear their bleating over the rush of the river as soon as they left the canyon. The girls followed the sounds and approached with caution. They stopped well within the edge of the trees, which came right up to edge of the widened river. The sheep had gathered along the new bank after fleeing the canyon. Beyond the sheep, on the far bank of the river, they could see the boy from 10. He was trying out different weapons. Deciding which of the few that remained suited him best.
Pepper helped Tansy camouflage herself with mud, leaves, and vines so she would blend in with the brush. She stayed back and watched with her weapon at the ready while Tansy quietly crawled up amongst the sheep to refill their water container. She came and went unnoticed. They treated the water and moved deeper into the woods to forage for food. They would leave the boy from 10 alone for now. The river would be difficult for Pepper to cross at its current size and strength and they weren't eager to kill again. He was taller than them, but they had been eating better. There were no projectile weapons left. If he came after them, the two girls could take him down with their spear and knife before he ever reached them.
The silence was broken rather abruptly. "It's going to be just the two of us soon," said Pepper. Her voice was low and quiet, but to Tansy it was as if a bomb had exploded.
Tansy's hands froze on the raspberries she had been about to pick. They both knew what that would mean. There could only be one victor. The audience would expect the two friends to fight to the death. After a long moment she said, "Couldn't we just refuse to kill each other?"
Now it was Pepper's turn to be shocked. "You know they'd never let us get away with it," she said gravely. She didn't want to fight either but she knew the Games would never stop until at least one of them was dead. "Only one of us can win. I think it should be you."
"No way! I can't kill you! I won't!" Tansy hissed angrily. She cast a nervous glance around and quickly lowered her voice. "What about your family?" she asked.
"They're waiting for you to come back to them!"
"Isn't yours waiting for you?" Pepper countered sadly, looking tired. "Tansy, about my family, there's something I—"
The rest of whatever Pepper wanted to say was cut off by a huge, horrendous noise like a giant crack of thunder that echoed throughout the arena. The girls exchanged a startled look and, before they could ask what it was, they heard and felt a great rumble that shook the ground beneath their feet. Tansy's eyes widened in fear as she remembered the way the canyon had rumbled before it flooded. An image of the enormous dam above the waterfall flashed in her mind. It couldn't be!
"Run!" Tansy shouted, grabbing Pepper's hand to pull her along as she took flight. "Run! We have to get to higher ground!"
The words had only just left her lips when the massive wall of water came crashing through the trees behind them. Pepper screamed and the girls ran as fast and far as their feet could carry them. It wasn't enough. The only way to get above the water before it crushed them was to climb. The two girls scrambled up a giant evergreen together. Pepper cried out in fear when the water rushed up around them and she lost her grip on the tree. Tansy immediately threw one of her hands out to catch her.
Her heart nearly stopped when a cannon sounded, but it wasn't for Pepper. She was still alive, clinging to the wrist of the hand that Tansy had wrapped around her forearm. Tansy felt like she was being ripped apart, but she held on. She grit her teeth and held on to her friend and the tree as tight as she could so they wouldn't be swept away. And then they heard another cannon. She and Pepper were the only ones left now.
A flash of panic shot through Tansy when she saw the look in friend's eyes. "No!" she cried. But it was too late. Pepper let go of her wrist. "Stop!" Tansy begged, desperate to keep a grip on her friend as she began to slip from her grasp.
"It's all right, Tansy," Pepper said, straining to be heard above the roar of the rushing water. "I'm glad the three of us got to be together, in the end…"
"Hold on, Pepper!" Tansy cried. "I'm going to save you!"
Pepper gave her a small smile. Tansy's breath caught in her throat and her eyes widened in horror as she was pulled away from her. Her friend's final words were nearly swallowed up by the water along with her body but they hung in the air, haunting her. "You already have."
"Noooo!" Tansy screamed in horror. She released her grip on the tree and dove in after Pepper. She wasn't ready to let go. She couldn't give up on her yet. She thought she saw a human hand amongst the other debris being swirled around in the muddy water, but it was just a cluster of twigs.
Tansy had to resurface for more air before she blacked out and drowned. She was about to dive again when she heard the cannon. Tansy ignored it and dived anyway. Maybe, if she got to her soon enough, she be revived. She was frantic, desperate to save her friend. She couldn't lose Pepper, too. A log slammed into Tansy's side and sent her bobbing back to the surface. She coughed and gasped for air, clinging to the floating debris while she tried to catch her breath. The ribs on the left side of her body burned like they were on fire. Tansy yelled and cried in anger and frustration, hitting the log with her fist even as she clung to it for dear life. It had begun to sink in how futile her attempts to find Pepper's body were. Her screams of grief and agony were drowned out by the roar of the water.
No, not the water. It was voices, human voices. The torrential water had begun to calm and she was now hearing the roar of the crowd in the Capitol being played live over the speakers.
The hovercraft materialized overhead and a ladder dropped for her. Tansy made no move to grab it. She didn't want to leave without Pepper. Why should she get to live when both of her friends had died? What was the point? There was nothing—
And then, she saw it. Floating on the surface of the water, just six inches away from her, was her choker. The choker Annie had made for her to hold the conch pearl their father gave her mother. The choker Finnick and Mags had kept safe for her during her remake. The choker Vita had modified to hold the abalone pearl Annie gave her for good luck. So she would survive the Games and return home. Home. That's right. She had to go home now. Annie was still waiting for her. Tears filled Tansy's eyes as she shot off of the log to grab the choker before it could be swept beyond her reach. She clutched the precious memento in one hand and reached for the ladder with the other.
The electric current froze her in place the second her hand closed around its first rung, and this time Tansy was glad because she wasn't sure she could have held on for the whole ride without it. Her vision was starting to darken. The minute the door closed behind her and the current stopped, she slumped to the floor unconscious.
When Tansy woke, she was afraid to move at first. She didn't recognize the room she was in at all. The entire ceiling glowed with a soft yellow light allowing her to see that she was in a room containing just her bed. No doors, no windows were visible. The air smelled of something sharp and antiseptic. Her right arm had several tubes that extended into the wall behind her. She was naked, but the bedclothes were soothing against her skin. She tentatively lifted her left hand above the cover. There was a dull pain in her side. She examined her hand first. Not only had it been scrubbed clean, the nails were filed in perfect ovals. She reached her manicured hand down to side beneath the covers and felt that there was a bandage on it. She hadn't even realized that she had been injured. It must have happened when the log crashed into her. She touched her cheek, her lips. In the arena they had become dry and chapped from the cold and the wind, but now they were soft and supple again. She ran her fingers through her silken hair. There wasn't a single knot left in her curls.
She tried to sit up, but some sort of wide restraining band kept her from rising more than a few inches. The physical confinement made her panic and she was trying to pull herself up and wriggle her hips through the band when a portion of the wall slid open and in stepped one of the attendants in white that she had seen around the Training Center carrying a tray. The sight of her calmed Tansy and she stopped trying to escape. She wanted to ask the silent girl a million questions, but her strange surroundings made Tansy wary. Obviously she was being closely monitored. The girl set the tray across Tansy's thighs and pressed something that raised her into a sitting position. While she adjusted her pillows, Tansy asked her first question. She said it out loud, as clearly as her rusty voice would allow. "Where am I?" The girl said nothing but gave her a small, sympathetic smile, and slipped a spoon into her hand.
Tansy tried another question. "Where are Mags and Finnick? Can I see them?" the girl gave her a nod and went to fetch them. At least, that was where Tansy hoped she was going.
As the silent girl left, the door closed noiselessly after her and Tansy turned hungrily to her tray. On it was a bowl of clear broth, a small serving of applesauce, and a glass of water. She wished there was more and was surprised at the size of her appetite, given everything she had been through, but apparently her empty stomach and her heavy heart weren't on speaking terms at the moment. But she found it was an effort to finish the spare meal before her. Her stomach seemed to have shrunk to the size of a grape, and she had to wonder how long she been out because she had no trouble eating a fairly sizeable lunch that last day in the arena. Tansy shuddered at the memory of Pepper sinking into the water and shook her head in an attempt to chase it away. There was usually a lag of a few days between the end of the competition and the presentation of the victor so that they could put the starving, wounded, mess of a person back together again. Somewhere, Vita would be creating her wardrobe for the public appearances. Finnick and Mags would be arranging the banquet for her sponsors, reviewing the questions for her final interview. Back home, District 4 was probably already organizing the homecoming celebrations for her.
Home! Annie and her father! Mari! Even the thought of shy and aloof Dylan made her smile. Soon she would be home!
Her smile fell when she thought of the people who wouldn't get to see their families again. Pepper and Root. She didn't know how she would ever be able to face their parents, or Baby Finch and Martin, again.
She wanted to get out of this bed. To see Finnick and Mags and Vita, to find out more about what's been going on. Anything to distract her from the guilt she felt over her friends' deaths. And why shouldn't she? Tansy felt fine physically. But as she started to work her way out of the band, she felt a cold liquid seep into her vein from one of the tubes and almost immediately lost consciousness.
This happened on and off for an intermediate amount of time. Her waking, eating, and, even though she resisted the impulse to try and escape the bed, being knocked out again. Tansy seemed to be in a strange continual twilight. Only a few things registered. The silent attendant in white had not returned since the feeding, her bandage was removed, her scars were disappearing, and did she imagine it? Or did she hear a man's voice yelling? Not in the Capitol accent, but in the warmer cadences of District 4. It was Finnick, she was sure of it. She hadn't seen him but she recognized his voice, and she couldn't help having a vague, comforting, warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that he was looking out for her.
Then finally, the time arrived when she came to and there was nothing plugged into her right arm. The restraint around her middle had been removed and she was free to move about. Tansy started to sit up but was arrested by the sight of her hands. The skin was perfection, smooth and glowing. Not only are the scars from the arena gone, but those accumulated over years of working in Districts 11 and 4 ever since she was old enough to walk had vanished without a trace. The side where she had been injured felt like satin. She froze when her hand brushed against her upper back. The blood drained from her face as she tried to find a trace of the scars that used to be there. Nothing. There was nothing left. Those scars were her last connection to Pepper and Root, the only thing she had left to remember them by. And they were gone. They had been taken from her. Her chest tightened. Tears welled up in Tansy's eyes. She had to get out of there. If she didn't see someone she knew soon, she was going to scream.
She slipped her legs out of bed, nervous about how they would bear her weight, and found them strong and steady. Lying at the foot of the bed was an outfit that made her flinch so badly, she nearly did scream. It was what she and all of the other tributes had worn in the arena. Her seastorm blue jacket and tawny pants. She stared at it as if it had teeth until she remembered that, of course, this was what she would wear to greet her team. She would almost rather go naked. Almost. At least they had also returned her choker to her.
She was dressed in less than a minute and fidgeting in front of the wall where she knew there was a door even if she couldn't see it when it suddenly slid open. She stepped into a wide, deserted hall that appeared to have no other doors on it. But it must. She couldn't be the only person there.
"Hello?" she called out, since there was no one to ask. She heard her name in response, and it was spoken by a familiar voice. It was a voice that provoked first relief and then eagerness. Finnick.
Tansy turned and saw them all waiting in a big chamber at the end of the hall—Finnick, Mags, Priscilla, Vita and Felix. Her feet took off without hesitation. Maybe a victor should show more restraint, more superiority, especially when she knew this would be on tape, but Tansy didn't care. She ran for them and surprised even herself when she launched into Finnick's arms first. He wrapped his arms around her in a protective embrace. She could hear the relief in his voice when he whispered, "You scared the hell out of us," in her ear. Mags hugged Tansy and stroked her hair. Her relief to have her back safely, her sorrow for the pain Mags knew she must be feeling over the loss of her friends, Tansy could see it all in her eyes. Priscilla was somewhat teary and kept patting her hair and talking about how she told everyone she was a winner. Felix was bawling his eyes out over the mere sight of her. Vita just hugged her tight and didn't say anything.
"Come on," she said at length. "We have to get you ready for the ceremony."
With Priscilla and Felix falling over her, it was relief to be alone with Vita, to feel the strength in her delicate hand as she guided her away from the cameras, down a few passages and to an elevator that led to the lobby of the Training Center. The hospital then was far underground, even beneath the gym where the tributes practiced tying knots and throwing spears. The windows of the lobby were darkened, and a handful of guards stood on duty. No one else was there to see them cross to the tribute elevator. Their footsteps echoed in the emptiness. And when they rode up to the fourth floor, the faces of Pepper, Root, and all the other tributes who would never return flashed across Tansy's mind and there was a heavy, tight place in her chest again.
When the elevator doors opened, Cassia, Fabia, and Gaius engulfed her, talking so quickly and ecstatically she couldn't make out their words. The sentiment was clear though. They were truly thrilled to see Tansy and she was happy to see them, too, although not like she was to see Vita. It was more the way one might be glad to see an affectionate trio of pets after a particularly difficult day. Tansy thought that might have been a little uncharitable of her but she had so many other dreadful thoughts concerning everything that had happened during the Games eating away at her that it hardly seemed to matter in comparison.
They swept Tansy into the dining room and she got a real meal—roast duck and carrots and soft rolls—although her portions were still being strictly controlled. Because when she asked for seconds, she was refused.
"No, no, no. They don't want it all coming back up on the stage," said Cassia, but she secretly slipped her an extra roll under the table to let Tansy know she was on her side.
They went back to her room and Vita disappeared for a while as the prep team got Tansy ready.
"Oh, they did a full body polish on you," said Fabia enviously. "Not a flaw left on your skin. They even managed to fix those terrible scars on your back."
Tansy bit her lip. She knew the stylist hadn't meant anything by it, but it still stung to be reminded of how the Capitol had taken away her last physical connection to Pepper and Root. And when she looked in the mirror all she could see was how skinny she was. Sure, she was probably worse when she came out of the arena, but she could easily count her ribs.
They took care of the shower settings for her, and they went to work on her hair, nails, and makeup when she was done. They chattered so continuously that Tansy barely had to reply, which was good, since she didn't feel very talkative. It was funny in an odd way, because even though they were rattling on about the Games, it was all about where they were or what they were doing or how they felt when a specific event had occurred. "I was still in bed!" "I had just had my hair dyed!" "I swear I nearly fainted!" Everything was about them, not the dying boys and girls in the arena.
They didn't wallow in the Games this way in District 11. Not even in District 4, where volunteering could be considered an honor. There would be a homecoming celebration for the victor, when there was one, and a respectful toast to the fallen. The victor would, of course, gain a new sense of status but the Games themselves were not considered a topic for pleasant conversation by most. They grit their teeth and watched because they had to and tried to get back to business as soon as possible when they were over. To keep from hating the prep team, Tansy effectively tuned out most of what they were saying. Although she did manage to catch a few redeeming remarks of how sorry they were about Pepper and Root's deaths.
Vita came in with one of the loveliest dresses Tansy had ever seen. The flowing gown was light, airy and seemed to float in the air. The colors were muted and soft. Pale blues, greens, and pinks in warm hues over sheer, glistening layers of champagne, silver, and gold. Streams of zigzagging ribbons with pearls tucked into the bends. The puffy sleeves were made with a sheer sliver material with an iridescent gold shine that had been ruched like rippling water.
Vita slipped it over her head. Tansy immediately noticed the padding over her breasts, adding the few curves that hunger had stolen from her body. Her hands went to her chest and she frowned.
"I know," said Vita before she could object. "But the Gamemakers wanted to alter you surgically. Finnick and Mags had a huge fight with them over it. Finnick really let them have it. This was the compromise." She stopped Tansy before she could look at her reflection. "Wait, don't forget the shoes." Fabia helped Tansy into a pair of soft, flat leather sandals and she turned to the mirror.
Staring back at Tansy was a young water nymph. The floaty fabrics and ribbons softly glowed. All of it, the colors, the way the gown flowed and shimmered in the light, reminded Tansy of the way the river in the arena had sparkled in the sun. Even the slightest movement in the air sent a ripple up her body. The gown's silhouette was loose, not fitted like her blue Venus costume or the pink rosebud dress. By comparison, the chariot costume seemed garish, the interview dress too contrived. In this dress, she gave the illusion of wearing water and sunlight. She was the beauty of nature incarnate. There was a soft, beautifully melancholy feel to it.
"What do you think?" asked Vita.
"I think it's the best yet," Tansy said. When she managed to pull her eyes away from the glimmering gown, she was in for something of a shock. Her hair was loose, in soft curls with the top front sections of her slightly twisted and pulled back, braided and pined elegantly behind her head with pearls. The makeup rounded and filled out the sharp angles of her face. A clear polish coated her nails. The gown was gathered at her shoulders, not her ribs or waist, largely eliminating any help the padding would have given her figure. The hem fell just to the tops of her feet in the front with a slight train trailing out a little bit behind her in the back. Without heels you could see her true stature. Beneath the glowing dress, she looked, very simply, like a girl. A young and doleful one. Twelve at most. Innocent. Harmless. Yes, it was shocking that Vita pulled this of when you remembered how she had just won the Games and had killed most of the Career pack.
This was a very calculated look. Nothing Vita designed was arbitrary. Tansy bit her lip trying to figure out her motivation.
"I thought it'd be something more…" she said, trailing off. More what? She wasn't sure. Maybe more like her interview outfit? This was a very serious dress. It mirrored her conflicting emotions perfectly.
"You said you didn't normally care for frilly pink dresses. I thought you would like this better. And it fits your new image. They're calling you the 'Golden Siren'," Vita answered carefully as she slipped Tansy's choker into another hidden pocket for her.
So it wasn't really about her. It was about the Capitol and the Gamemakers and the audience. Although Tansy did not yet understand Vita's design or her new epithet, it was a reminder the Games were not quite finished. And beneath her benign reply, she sensed a warning. Of something Vita couldn't even mention in front of her own team.
They took the elevator to the level where the tributes trained. It was customary for the victor and his or her support team to rise from beneath the stage. First the prep team, followed by the escort, the stylist, the mentor, and finally the victor. Since Finnick was the better public speaker, had more stage presence, and had secured most of the funding from the sponsors, it was agreed that he would represent both mentors while Mags watched from a place of honor in the front row in the audience. After leading her to a dimly lit area, Vita and the prep team peeled off to change into their own costumes and take their positions, leaving her alone. The rumbling of the crowd was loud, so she didn't notice Finnick until he touched her shoulder. She sprang away, startled, still half in the arena, she guessed.
"Relax, it's just me. Let's have a look at you," he said. Tansy held out her arms and turned. Once again, Finnick was floored when he saw her. His chest tightened and he truly wished that he could protect her from what was coming next. Tansy had no idea of the trouble she was in.
"What?" Tansy asked when she saw the way he was staring at her.
"It's nothing," he said. He decided he should at least warn her before she went on stage. "You look beautiful. How about a hug for luck?"
It seemed like an odd request to Tansy but she complied. Only, when she put her arms around his neck, she found herself trapped in his embrace. He began talking, very fast, very quietly in her ear, her hair concealing his lips.
"Listen up. You're in trouble. The Gamemakers and Snow aren't happy with you for trying to go against the rules in the arena. They can't stand being shown up. I've heard there are signs of unrest in the districts. Even people in the Capitol had begun to root for you to survive along with your friends," said Finnick.
Tansy felt dread coursing through her now, but she laughed as though he was saying something funny because nothing was covering her mouth. "So, what?"
"Your only defense can be you were so distraught with grief over Root's death that you weren't thinking clearly when you made that suggestion to Pepper, and you weren't responsible for your actions." He pulled back and adjusted the way her curls fell over her shoulders. "Got it?" He could be talking about anything now.
"Got it," she said. It wasn't that far from the truth anyway.
Finnick gave her a somber smile. "Better take our places." He lead her to the metal circle they would be riding up. "Remember, we'll all be right there with you. This is your night, Tansy. Try to enjoy it." He gave her hand a quick squeeze and stepped onto the metal circle.
Tansy's eyes followed him as he ascended onto the stage above. She clenched her fists around her skirt. Her whole body was shaking like a leaf. Hopefully, it would be put down to excitement. After all, it was her night.
The damp, moldy smell beneath the stage threatened to choke her. A cold, clammy sweat broke out on her skin and she couldn't rid herself of the feeling that the boards above her head were about to collapse, to bury her alive under the rubble. When she left the arena, when the trumpets played, she was supposed to be safe. From then on. For the rest of her life. But if what Finnick said was true, and he had no reason to lie, she had never been in such a dangerous place in her life.
It was so much worse than being hunted in the arena. There, she could only die. End of story. But out here Annie, their father, Mari, the people of District 4, everyone she cared about back home could be punished if she couldn't pull off the girl-driven-crazy-by-grief scenario Finnick had suggested.
So she still had a chance, though. Funny, in the arena, when she tried to talk Pepper into cooperating to create a stalemate, she really was only thinking of saving her friend, not how her actions would reflect on the Capitol. But the Hunger Games were their weapon and you were not supposed to be able to defeat it. So now the Capitol would act as if they had been in control the whole time. As if they orchestrated the whole event, right down to her desperate attempts to save Pepper even after her cannon went off. But that would only work if she played along with them.
But, then again, they probably had orchestrated it, the flood at least. It had happened too soon after she made her suggestion to refuse to kill each other for it to have been a simple coincidence. They must have decided she and Pepper were dangerous and tried to get rid of them then and there. In the end, Pepper had been right. They never would have let them get away with it.
The simple truth was, Tansy didn't know what she was thinking. She hadn't even begun to sort out her feelings about everything that had happened in the arena, about Pepper and Root's deaths. It was too complicated. What she did was part of the Games. As opposed to what she did out of anger against the Capitol. Or because of how it would be viewed back in District 4 or District 11. Or simply because it was the only decent thing to do. Or what she did because she cared about them. Because she wanted to be a good friend.
Those were questions to be unraveled back home, in the peace and quiet of the ocean, when no one was watching. Not here with every eye upon her. But she wouldn't have that luxury for who knew how long. And right now, the most dangerous part of the Hunger Games was about to begin.
