New chapter time! Yes. Yes, it has been a month. I'm sorry. Still no promises.
"Austin?" My mom shook me gently. "Pancakes!"
"Seriously?" I shot up and looked her in the eye. She laughed and nodded. I followed my mom into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, watching her flip the pancakes from the skillet onto a plate and placing it in front of me.
"Rough night?" she asked, sitting down across from me.
"Yeah...," I replied, carefully cutting the slice of my pancakes with my fork and bringing it to my lips. I let my eyes meet my mother's gaze for a moment and then dropped it back to my plate.
"Bad dream?"
"Something like that." I looked at her again and smiled. As much as I resented her as a teenager, she was always good at reading me and knowing what was wrong. My dad came in and gave my mom a kiss before going to get a cup of coffee. Over thirty years of marriage and they actually still liked each other. It was kind of amazing to me and I always felt like my divorce had let them down. Then again, I always felt like they wanted me to end up with Ally- which isn't impossible. Yet.
"Morning, Austin," my dad said, sitting in between Mom and me, looking me in the eyes and giving me a big, morning-loving smile. I usually found their perkiness to be annoying, but it was a nice way to start the morning today. Especially since it probably won't end very well. "Hey, do you mind picking up some milk today?"
"Um, sure Dad. I guess I'll get some when I go out later."
"Where are you going?" My mom asked suddenly, lowering the slice of pancake she was about to put in her mouth. I realized at that moment that my mom was better at reading me than I had ever expected. She knew exactly what I was planning to do later. Nonetheless, I tried to play it off nonchalantly.
"Well, I was planning on going down to the beach, maybe, or going to the mall, or, uh...," I trailed off, desperately willing my brain to think of any location other than the mall. Other than where Ally Dawson probably is at this very moment. Anywhere. The fact is, I couldn't.
"Oh. Well, don't be out too long. You just got in and I want to catch up with you," my mom replied, cooly. However, she gave me a look as my dad returned to the newspaper that was in front of him, and I knew she knew.
I stood up from the kitchen table when I'd finished and slid the chair back where it belonged. "I'll be in my room." Then I turned away and made a beeline for my old bedroom. When I'd finally sat down on the bed, I lay against the pillow and closed my eyes. Trying everything I could not to have a projection of Ally's face on the backs of my eyelids, which, of course, was in vain. I finally snapped my eyes open again and reached under the pillow for Ally's songbook. I'd stashed it there last night so I could protect it - not that there was much that it would need protecting from. I traced the edges of the pages and finally decided turned to the page that I'd bookmarked when I'd last stopped reading. Stuck inside the pages of the worn book was half of a plane ticked and the card that I'd left her when she hadn't gotten on the bus with me when I went on my first tour. The card smelled sweet, like Ally, like she'd held it way too many times when she'd gotten it. I played with the frayed corners of the card and finally opened it up to see my writing. To see exactly what I had wanted to say to Ally back when I was only seventeen years old and just starting to fall in love with my best friend.
Knock knock.
"Come in," I said, quietly, stashing the book back underneath the pillow as my mom came into the room.
"Hi, sweetheart." She took it upon herself to sit on the edge of my old bed, a little too close for comfort, and sweet back a lock of my hair so that she was looking directly into my eyes. Then she took away her hand and laid it gently in her hand, studying the two of them dancing, wringing each other dry as she tried to find the right words to convey what she wanted to tell me. Not that I didn't already know.
"Mom." She looked me in the eyes. "I promise I won't do anything stupid." She cracked a smile at my comment and I became a little nervous that I actually didn't know what she was trying to tell me.
"Sweetheart, I know you won't do anything stupid on purpose." And there it was, the obliviously direct statement that just didn't serve the purpose it was meant for. This was one of the qualities that my mother had always had, and sometimes it actually helped. This wasn't one of those times.
"What?"
"Well, I mean, Austin. I know you've been going through a really hard time with Cassidy and you don't really know who you are anymore with your career and your love life and," she paused, taking one of my hands in both of hers, "I don't want you to do anything that you might regret later, whether or not you are thinking it's the right decision at the time."
"I won't, Mom." I tried to hide the fact that my eyes were starting to sting, that I felt the tears welling up behind them, I tried to hide it, but I couldn't. My mom took my head and laid it against her shoulder. I adjusted myself so I could sit beside her, leaning my head on her and letting only a few tears fall. I was still a man. I had my pride. Mostly.
"I know," she whispered after a few moments. To this day, I'm not sure what she was responding to, whether it was a reply to my earlier comment or something more.
After a few more moments, I lifted my head off her shoulder and looked away, lifting the sleeve of the sweatshirt I was wearing to my eyes and drying my cheeks, then I turned around faced my mother. "Thanks." I said, my voice hoarse. She tucked my hair back again and kissed my forehead, then left the room without another word. I lay back on my bed for about ten more minutes, trying to decide what she was trying to tell me, but I finally ended up deciding to go to the mall anyway. I walked down the hallway and into the bathroom, stripping down and stepping into the shower and turning the water almost as hot as it would go. Then I just stood there, letting it was over me for a while before actually starting to clean myself.
When I was completely dressed and ready, I headed towards the door and yelled quickly to my parents before I left. Both responded with a quick goodbye and my dad reminded me to get milk while I was out. I closed the door behind me and climbed into the driver's seat of my dad's truck and pulled out of the driveway. I was ready. Hopefully.
I pulled into the mall parking lot and parked towards the back, wanting as much time as possible between me and the door. And Ally. When I'd finally meandered my way up to the door, I took the initiative to hold it open for a stream of people coming in and out. I watched as at least six people went in and out that door and the only 'thank you' I got was from a little girl with her mom. It made me smile. I walked through the mall aimlessly, avoiding the areas that I had remembered used to be Ally's favorites as well as any that might be where a bride would go. That left the area of the mall with all the kids stores and the center of the mall where everybody else would crowd and talk and I knew Ally never liked to be around them. She said they got in her head and distracted her. Go figure. I inevitably decided on the latter and made my way to the heart of the mall where all the shoppers were crowded and talking and meeting their friends. A couple was off on the side making out and another man was almost screaming into his cell phone above the din.
I made my way over to the corner as far from the hugging and the talking and everything and found myself a few feet away from the way-too-much-PDA couple. After a couple of minutes of their noise beside me, I was becoming quite desperate for any way to make them stop. I guess it was just something to do with the whole if-I-can't-be-in-love-you-can't-be-in-love thing that we all get sometimes. I tapped the guy on the shoulder and held my hand out. He turned away to look at me and smiled pleasantly, however clearly annoyed by the fact that I had interrupted him.
"Excuse me, but, um, do you know where the food court is?"
"Ya. It's over there past the earring kiosk, just keep walking. There's a sign and a bunch of restaurants and stuff. Can't miss it." He turned back to the girl.
"I'm Austin." I held out my hand. He spun back to me and grasped my outstretched hand firmly and shook it. "Owen."
"Oh, well, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too, uh...," I looked at the blonde girl whom Owen had been making out with, she looked at me and then back at Owen before responding.
"Jenna."
"Well, it was nice to meet you. Uh, thanks again." I left as soon as I could, feeling them reunite as I walked away. I made a face that clearly showed my disgust, but there was no one there to see it. I walked toward the food court and sat down at one of the tables, looking around and watching people come and go with their trays of fast food and other stuff.
"Is anyone else sitting here?" I looked up at the voice and quickly stood from my seat.
"No, um, I was just going, too. You can have it."
"Thanks," she replied nicely, and then gestured for a guy to come join her. I once again walked away, but this time in the direction of a very well known little music store. I tried not to think about what I was doing or what I was going to say or anything like that, I just held tight to the strap of the backpack I had on that contained Ally's songbook. Finally, I reached Sonic Boom. I looked inside from the path and noticed just how little it had changed. Everything was still neat and stacked on the walls, same blue columns, same logo, same counter. It was all like traveling back in time. I stood just watching for a few moments, and then I saw her. She slowly descended the steps, hair bouncing around her shoulders, calling up towards the practice room to someone I couldn't see. She went behind the counter and stopped, suddenly, staring out the door.
"Oh my god." I tried to back away slowly, I tried to back into the bush that was behind me, but it was no use. She had seen me. She started walking towards me, a curious look on her face, trying to understand that, out of every possible moment in the last seven years, I'd chosen now to show up practically on her doorstep.
"Austin?" I stepped around the opening of the door and stood there, frozen, feeling extremely exposed, as she hurriedly walked towards me. Her eyes were glassy, like there were tears in them, and she had the most adorable smile. She touched my arm and then my chest and finally she flung her arms around my neck. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and we fit perfectly. We fit like some kind of living puzzle, and I didn't want to let her go. I closed my eyes and let my head lean against her neck, breathing her in. Finally, she released me and I unwillingly obliged and followed her lead, letting my arms fall limp at my sides at the loss of her touch.
"What are you doing here?"
"I, um, I came out here to see my parents and I heard you were in town. I figured I should come by and say... hi."
"Yeah. Thank you." She smiled at me, but her voice seemed confused, sad even.
"Hey, babe. Who's this?" A man not much older than Ally and me came down the stairs. He looked me hard in the eyes and slowly made his way toward Ally, draping a hand over her shoulder and kissing the side of her head.
"Austin, this is my fiancé, Owen."
Ooo drama! Yes. I know it was a really long wait and I'm sorry, but hopefully this chapter will keep you all on the edge of your seats! I'd like to thank ChestnutLocks for giving me inspiration for this chapter as well as writermeAL for an idea that I'm probably going to be using throughout the story.
Anyway, please review and I'd love to see what your favorite parts of the chapter is, so maybe could you give me some quotes from the chapter that you really liked or any part of the writing you want more of?
Also, I need IDEAS that's why it's taking so long between chapters! Goodnight everyone, MWAH (kiss sound).
