Chapter 9: Victor
The anthem boomed in Tansy's ears, and she heard Caesar Flickerman greeting the audience. Did he know how crucial it was to get every word right from now on? He must. He would want to help them. The crowd broke into applause as the prep team was presented. She imagined Fabia, Cassia, and Gaius bouncing around and taking ridiculous, bobbing bows. It was a safe bet they were clueless. Then Priscilla was introduced. The escort had a very keen instinct about certain things and must at least suspect there was trouble. Vita received a huge cheer, of course, she had been brilliant, had a dazzling return to the Games. Tansy now understood her choice of dress for her tonight. She would need to look as sweet and innocent and melancholy as possible. Finnick's appearance brought on a round of cheering, squealing, and stomping that went on for over five minutes. It had been a while since he made an official public appearance like this. Not since he won his own Games five years ago. What if he hadn't warned her in time? Would she have acted differently? No, Tansy didn't think so. But she could easily have been a lot less convincing and appeared more angry about the way her friends died than she needed to be now. Right now. Because she could feel the plate she was standing on lifting her up to the stage.
Blinding lights. The deafening roar rattled the metal under her feet. Then there were Finnick and Vita and the rest of her team just a few yards away. The sight of them was so comforting she was able to gain a little control over her shaking. Caesar greeted Tansy warmly with a sympathetic smile and introduced her to the crowd. There was another roar, cheering, and a few shouts of reassurance and sympathy for her. She was led toward the victor's chair, an ornate seat from which the winning tribute watched a film of the highlights of the Games. Tansy felt uncomfortable under the spotlight, and she made no effort to appear otherwise. She kept her hands together in her lap, let her shoulders droop, and made herself look as small as possible. A sad little girl who carried an air of defeat even in victory. She suddenly felt so vulnerable in her flimsy dress. But she guessed that was the point.
Caesar Flickerman gave her a sympathetic smile, made a few jokes to lighten the mood of the audience, and then it was time for the show. This would last exactly three hours and was required viewing for all of Panem. As the lights dimmed and the seal appeared on the screen, Tansy realized she was unprepared for this. She did not want to watch her twenty-three fellow tributes die. Especially not Pepper and Root. She saw enough death the first time around. Her heart started pounding and she had a strong impulse to run. How had the other victors faced this? How did Mags and Finnick do it? During the highlights they periodically showed the winner's reaction up on a box in the corner of the screen. She thought back to earlier years… some were triumphant, pumping their fists in the air, beating their chests. Most just seemed stunned. She was too young to have seen Mags' Games. Finnick… she couldn't remember. She had come down with a fever near the end of his Games, so it was all a blur. Of course, the previous victors didn't have the Capitol looking for a way to destroy them. All she knew was the only thing keeping her in that chair was the knowledge that she was in enough trouble already, so she had to be on her best behavior in front of the cameras.
Condensing several weeks into three hours was quite a feat, especially when you considered how many cameras were going at once. Whoever put together the highlights this year had to choose what sort of story to tell. This year, they told a story of a tragic friendship between tributes from two different districts. Tansy knew she won, but a disproportionate amount of time was spent on her, right from the beginning. She was glad though, because it revealed more about her relationship with Pepper and Root, how happy she was with them, which supported the whole crazy-with-grief thing that was her defense for defying the Capitol, plus it meant they wouldn't have as much time to linger over the deaths.
The first half hour or so focused on the pre-arena events, the reaping, the chariot ride through the Capitol, their training scores, and their interviews. They even added a few scenes of her training together with Pepper and Root, their touching reunion in the Training Center, how they would sit together during lunch with smiles on their faces. There was this sort of upbeat soundtrack playing under it that made it twice as awful because, of course, almost everyone on screen was dead.
Once they were in the arena, there was detailed coverage of the bloodbath and then the filmmakers basically alternated between shots of tributes dying and shots of her with Pepper and Root. Now she saw what the audience saw, how while everyone else had scattered and mistrusted each other from the start, even the Careers who were working together. She and her friends had been so close they barely needed to speak in order to communicate their intentions. This was best illustrated when they had to outrun the deadly cold snap. The instant Pepper fell, without a word, without a glance, Tansy and Root's hands each shot out to grab one of her arms to swing her back onto her feet without missing a beat. Any hesitation, and all three of them would have been dead. But thanks to their solid teamwork, all three of them lived. Subtitles were shown at the bottom of the screen whenever they used sign language. Tansy realized she had missed whole conversations between her friends that had taken place when they were out of her line of sight or she was sleeping. They seemed to be arguing about whether or not they should tell her something. The one constant that they both agreed on was the need to protect her, just as she had felt the need to protect them. Tansy was curious about what it was they weren't telling her. She remembered how Pepper had been about to say something about their family when the dam broke. She learned what that was during the night after Root was injured by the mountain lion. Root had stirred and awoke while she slept during one of Pepper's turns to watch. They had told her that nothing had changed in District 11. That their family was fine. It had been a lie. Tears began to roll down Tansy's cheeks as she read their hands, and she raised her hands to cover her mouth. Their parents, Martin, baby Finch, they were all dead. The nature of their details behind their deaths wasn't mentioned, but the fact that her friends had lost everyone else in their family and had been living in 11's terrible community home for the past couple of years was. They said she was the only one left that they loved and who truly cared about them. That they thought she might have changed after living in 4, but she was still the same selfless friend that they remembered. They didn't think they could win. They'd had no hope of that until their reunion with her in the Training Center. When the first words out of her mouth were to ask about their family and how everyone else in District 11 was doing, that was when they had decided that if they had to die, it would be to make sure she, at least, survived. For as long as possible. They doubted they would have ever gotten as far as they did without her. They played Root's death in full, how the boy from 1 and the girl from 2 had snuck up on him while she and Pepper were setting the traps. How they taunted him while they strung him up from the tree and carved his flesh to make him scream. Tansy shook as she watched, her fists clenched in anger. It hadn't even been to lure out her and Pepper. They had just been torturing him for fun, because they had gotten bored. Then she and Pepper came running. Their shock, their horror at what was being done to their friend and brother was made clear as daylight as the cameras zoomed in on their faces. Then Pepper's expression twisted into one of rage, while her face seemed have to suddenly emptied itself of all emotion. A dangerous calm had settled over her. She lunged forward at the same time Pepper threw her knife. The knife flew past the side of her head to hit the girl from 2 in the shoulder. Tansy leaped over the screaming, injured girl to deliver a swift blow to the head of the boy from 1 with a strength she didn't know she had. That eerie expression of calm was still there even as his blood sprayed onto her face. Without hesitation, she turned to finish the girl from 2, who looked terrified as she struggled to get back onto her feet. Then Pepper screamed for her. Root wasn't breathing. All of a sudden, the light came back into Tansy's eyes, and she turned her back on the injured girl to rush to her friends' aid. The girl from 2 ran off, shouting threats of revenge, but Pepper and Tansy were completely focused on trying to help Root. The looks on their faces when they realized he was already dead bought a few exclamations of pity ad sympathy from the audience.
Something inside her shut down and she was too numb to feel anything. It was like watching complete strangers in another Hunger Games. She watched the boy from 2 and the girl from 1 come stomping into their camp. Saw their outrage at finding how they had hung the body of the boy from 1 to rile them up. Then came the singing. It was eerie and strange. Their voices were barely recognizable, but it couldn't have been anyone else, so the two Careers ventured deeper into the canyon to find them. Objectively, Tansy could see the swarm of tracker jackers and the death of the two Careers were as terrifying and gruesome as ever, but again, she felt as though it happened to people she had never met. But she was certain she would have nightmares about it later, once everything had time to sink in. At the moment, she was still partly in fight mode. They omitted the part where they went back for Root, closed his eyes, and put flowers in his hands in an attempt to send him off with a little dignity.
Right. Because even that smacked of rebellion, treating the body of a fallen tribute with such respect. As if they were more than just pawns in the games.
Then came the song. Tansy got to sing every note of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. There was a greater reaction to the song from the audience than the deaths that had preceded it.
Her devotion was finally shown to match Pepper and Root's after that. The way she took care for her despondent friend through her own obvious grief. The way she held Pepper and sang to her. Again, she got to sing every note of her mother's song and Bright Morning Stars. Again, there was a strong and very favorable reaction from the audience. And then came the moment where she suggested that she and Pepper should refuse to kill each other. She could hear the desperation in her voice and the audience hushing one another, not wanting to miss anything. A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers swept over her when they showed her futile struggle to save Pepper, against all logic, in full. They showed her dejected refusal to take hold of the ladder when it dropped. She looked like she wanted to follow her friends, to die right then and there. Then came the instant she saw the necklace. The flicker of recognition in her eyes. You could see the gears turning as she remembered what it meant to her and why she was there in the first place. With tears in her eyes, she launched herself forward to grab the choker, clinging to it like a lifeline as she finally took hold of the ladder.
In terms of survival, it was her best moment all night. It showed that she hadn't been in her right mind. That she was so out of it that she had forgotten her promise to come home with the sister she had sacrificed everything the save. For a moment, she hadn't cared whether the Capitol killed her in the arena or not. There was nothing about that moment that could possibly be construed as an attempt to incite rebellion. She was just a scared little girl who was devastated with grief over the loss of two friends and wanted her sister.
The anthem was playing yet again and they rose as President Snow himself took the stage followed by a little girl carrying a cushion that held the crown. He lifted the crown to place it on Tansy's head with a smile. He was still smiling when he settled it on her head, but his eyes, just inches from hers, were as unforgiving as a snake's.
That's when Tansy knew that even though she hadn't wanted any of this, hadn't planned to cause trouble, she was still to blame for having the idea to defy the rules of the Games for even a moment. She was the instigator. She was the one to be punished.
Much bowing and cheering followed. Snow quietly ordered her to smile and wave for the cameras. Her arm was about to fall off from waving when Caesar Flickerman finally bid the audience good night, reminding them to tune in tomorrow for the final interviews. As if they had a choice.
Tansy was whisked to the president's mansion for the Victory Banquet, where she had very little time to eat as Capitol officials and particularly generous sponsors elbowed one another out of the way as they tried to get their picture with her. Face after beaming face flashed by, becoming increasingly intoxicated as the evening wore on. Finnick stayed at her side as her chaperone, given that she was so young. The only thing that kept her from bolting was the way he kept giving her hand reassuring squeezes to remind her that she wasn't alone. Occasionally, she caught a glimpse of Mags or Vita, which was comforting, or President Snow, which was terrifying, but she kept smiling and thanking people as her picture was taken. The one thing she never did was let go of Finnick's hand.
The sun was just peeking over the horizon when they straggled back to the fourth floor of the Training Center. Tansy thought now she might finally get a word alone with her mentors, but she was so exhausted from all the stress of being the center of everyone's attention and a possible target for the Capitol's wrath, that she gave hardly any protest when Mags and Finnick encouraged her to go straight to bed. Finnick escorted her personally to her door.
"Can't we talk?" Tansy asked. Did this mean they were still being monitored?
"There will be plenty of time for that when we get home," said Finnick. "Now, try to get some sleep. You're on air at two."
Tansy was tired, but she was afraid to go to sleep, of what she might see when she closed her eyes. After tossing and turning for a few hours, she tried to slip into the hall and maybe head up to the roof, but when she tried to turn the knob, she found her own bedroom door had been locked from the outside. This was not something she thought Mags or Finnick would do. She was struck by an insidious fear that the Capitol may be not only monitoring her but confining her as well. She had been unable to escape since the Hunger Games began, but this felt different, much more personal. This felt like she was being imprisoned for a crime and she was awaiting sentencing. She remembered the words her mother often murmured while huddled in the corner of a dark room in their old house like a frightened animal. "It never ends, Tansy! The Games never end!" Tansy shuddered, her blood chilled, like ice in her veins. She quickly got back in bed, pulled the covers over her head, and pretended to sleep until Priscilla came to alert her to the start of another "big, big, big day!"
Tansy had about five minutes to eat a bowl of hot grain and stew before the prep team descended. All she had to say was, "The crowd loved you!" and it was unnecessary to speak for the next couple of hours. Aside from the shading and highlights added to round out her face, her makeup was, as usual, very minimal. It was the most natural she had ever looked in the Capitol. The only obvious hints that she was wearing makeup and not a clean face were the soft and subtle sweeps of black eyeliner, the hint of mascara on her lashes, and the transparent balm with only a slight rosy tint that was on her lips. When Vita came in, she shooed the prep team out and dressed Tansy in a sleeveless teal dress with a satin sheen, a high, modest neckline, and a classic full skirt that fell to her knees and was tastefully studded with artificial teal pearls and gems around the waist, spread out sparsely towards the hem. Over her shoulders was a matching shrug with quarter-length sleeves and on her feet were studded teal flats. Her choker was placed safely in another hidden pocket. They made idle chitchat, but Tansy was afraid to ask her anything of real importance because of the incident with the door, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched constantly.
The interview took place right down the hall in the sitting room. A space had been cleared and the victor's chair had been moved in and surrounded by vases of various floral arrangements. Some of them even had sprays of tansy flowers added in. Two had obviously been arranged by someone who knew her very well. The first held tansies, daisies, chicory flowers, purple phlox, pink asters, lady's mantle, alliums, sweet marjoram, rue, azaleas, and sprays of the white flowers from wild carrot tops—all favorite wildflowers that she had loved since she was a child. The second held poppies, lupines, verbena, miniature hollyhocks, evening primrose, bluebonnets, blackeyed Susans, and red delphiniums. Those were her favorite wildflowers from District 4. But the arrangement that seemed to demand her attention the most had been placed prominently in the foreground. The vase was filled with only pure white roses. Their scent was so unnaturally strong that it must have been altered in someway. Their cloying perfume was sickly sweet and caught in her throat. There were only a handful of cameras to record the event. No live audience at least. She was grateful for that since it would just be her and Caesar Flickerman this time. Everyone who wasn't actively participating in the interview or part of the camera crew would be cleared out.
Caesar Flickerman gave Tansy a warm hug when she came in. "Congratulations, Tansy. How are you faring?" He seemed genuinely concerned.
"Fine, given the circumstances. Nervous about the interview," she said honestly. Despite his association with the Games, she had come to like Caesar for the way he tried to help her and other tributes whenever they were on stage with him.
"Don't be. We're going to have a fabulous time," he said, giving her cheek a reassuring pat. "I'll try to make it as painless as possible."
"Thank you. I'm not good at talking about myself," she said.
"Nothing you say will be wrong," he said.
And she thought, Oh, Caesar, if only that were true. She was very afraid that President Snow might be arranging some sort of "accident" for her as they spoke.
Then Mags and Finnick came over to give her a few last reassuring words before the interview began. Mags was lovely in a flowing, pleated teal tunic with loose sleeves and Finnick was very handsome in a white and teal suit. Apparently there was a matching theme for their team today. Mags gave her a hug and a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
"We'll be right in the next room. There's just this and then we go home," he said, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze as he placed a light kiss on her cheek.
Tansy felt a sort of shiver run through her and there was no time to analyze why, because they were ready for her. Mags and Finnick were ushered from the room. Tansy took deep breaths as she moved into place and reminded herself that, like Finnick said, if she could get through this without messing up, they would have to let her go home and hopefully forget all about her.
Someone counted backward and just like that, she was being broadcasted live to the entire country. Caesar Flickerman was wonderful, sympathetic, reassuring, teasing, joking, getting choked up when the occasion presented itself. Talking with him was a little easier this time around thanks to the rapport they had already established that night of the first interview, so long as she ignored the cameras. She managed a few smiles, which she was sure were on the weak side, but Caesar helped attribute this to her grief over the loss of her friends. In fact, he very kindly did most of the talking for her. Of course, she had to talk some, but she was more than willing to let Caesar fill the gaps for her.
Eventually though, Caesar began to pose questions that insisted on fuller answers. "Well, Tansy, I know this must still be very difficult for you to talk about… but personally, and I think I speak for most of the audience as well, I was on the edge of my seat when you asked Pepper to agree to a permanent ceasefire between the two of you. I've never seen anyone try to go against the rules like that. I would have thought it unthinkable. What was going through your mind at the time?"
Tansy's heart was in her throat. How was she supposed to answer that? Did Caesar know how dangerous that question was? She took a long pause, trying to gather her thoughts. Caesar was waiting patiently for her answer. "I… Pepper and Root are—were," she corrected herself sadly, struggling to keep her voice steady, "my two oldest and closest friends. As you already know, my mother, Chicory Fields, was also a victor. But she was from District 11. That's where I was born and raised for the first eight years of my life. It was only later that I went to live with my father and Annie in 4. So I knew Pepper and Root long before the three of us became tributes. We weren't just friends, we grew up together. We were so close, I felt like their family was my family, too. Even after being apart for six years, I still thought of them often."
"I see," Caesar said with sympathy, reaching out to give her hand a reassuring pat. "It must have been hard for you when you found out they would be competing in the Games, too."
"Yes. I was shocked," she said. "I couldn't believe it. When I realized I would have to fight them, that I might have to kill two of the best friends I'd ever had… I was sick to my stomach. I threw up right then and there on the train." She placed a hand over her mouth, feeling ill again as she let all of these repressed emotions rise to the surface again. "I just couldn't bear the thought of it. I was afraid to face them. What if they saw me as an enemy now? After all, we weren't from the same district anymore. Only one tribute could win. But when we finally met again, it was almost as if we had never been apart." Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. "When we saw how strong the Careers were, we knew we would have a better chance of surviving if we teamed up. We always avoided talking about what would happen if it ever came down to the three of us. We didn't want to think about what it would mean, even though it was always at the back of our minds. Even though I knew we would eventually have to fight each other, I still wanted to protect them. But," she bit her lip as the tears fell, "this whole time, they were protecting me. Right from the start. When I asked about their family, they told me nothing had changed. They even told me stories about what Martin, their older brother, and Finch, their baby sister, had been up to. But reality had been so much crueler. I had no idea they had lost their entire family until I saw the highlights yesterday. And like an idiot, I just kept going on about how they couldn't give up because they were waiting for them. I must have hurt them so much. But they never said anything."
"Why do you think that was?" Caesar asked gently.
"They were worried about how I would react," she said sadly. "They didn't want me to pity them. I think they wanted to pretend all the stories they told me were true, so that at least for a while, it would be just like old times, when we younger and all of us were still together in 11." She started crying harder, and Caesar handed her his handkerchief. Tansy did her best to dry her eyes without smudging her makeup. She knew how much the people in the Capitol cared about appearances. "I don't think any of us were really thinking about how to win anymore. I had almost forgotten the real reason why we were there after a while. I couldn't even imagine killing them, of a world without them in it. We just wanted to protect each other. That's why, when Root… When he died, me and Pepper, we both just sort of lost it. I tried to stay strong for her, but it was eating me up inside. I'd already failed Root. I couldn't stand the thought… of losing her, too."
"And that's why you said it?" he asked quietly.
She nodded. "I was desperate. I wasn't thinking about the Games or the rules, winning or losing, any of it. I had even forgotten about Annie, about my promise to come back to her. I didn't care about anything else. I… I just didn't want to watch another friend die. That was all."
By now, Caesar was struggling to keep back tears of his own because he was so moved. "You poor thing. You must have been out of your mind with grief," he said.
Even through her pain, she felt a surge of gratitude toward Caesar for that statement. For feeding the audience the type of conclusion that could help save her and everyone she cared about. She covered her face with her hands and let herself cry. Caesar took that as his cue to pull her into a sort of fatherly hug and gave her comforting pats on the back. He backed off from questioning her until she'd had a chance to recover a little.
"Tansy, I know this has been very painful for you. I don't think any of us will ever forget how hard you tried to save Pepper, even after you heard her cannon. There was a moment when I was afraid you wouldn't grab the ladder," he said gently. "What finally made you move? What made you decide not to give up?"
Tansy was silent for a moment before she answered. "The choker," she said simply.
"Your token in the arena?" he asked.
She nodded and reached into her pocket. She took it out and held it cradled carefully in her hands for him and everyone watching to see. "Annie made it for me. The pink stone, the conch pearl, used to belong to my mother. Our father gave it to her. I carry it everywhere with me, even when I'm not wearing it. During our other interviews, it was in a hidden pocket, like in the dress I'm wearing today. The abalone pearl… I found that the morning of the reaping, when I went fishing with him for our breakfast and lunch. I gave it to Annie, for good luck. After I volunteered, she gave it to me. Vita added it to the choker for me before I went into the arena, so I wouldn't have to choose between them. You're right, Caesar. I almost didn't grab the ladder. For a moment, I wanted to join Pepper and Root. But when I saw the choker in the water, I suddenly remembered Annie and our promise. That I would try to come back to her. After everything… After losing my friends… I just wanted my big sister. I wanted to see my father, and everyone else who was waiting for me back home. I couldn't give up after that," she said softly, closing her eyes as she held her choker close to her heart.
Caesar signed off and it was over. Everyone was laughing and crying and hugging, but Tansy still wasn't sure until she reached Finnick and Mags. They both drew her into a comforting hug. "Okay?" she whispered.
"Perfect," Finnick answered quietly.
Tansy went back to her room to collect a few things and found there was nothing to take. Everything she really needed, she already had. They drove Tansy, Finnick, and Mags through the streets in a car with blackened windows, and the train was waiting for them. Priscilla was accompanying her back, too, of course. They barely had time to say goodbye to Vita and Felix, although they would see Vita in a few months, when they toured the district for a round of victory ceremonies. It was the Capitol's way of reminding people that the Hunger Games never really went away. Tansy would be given a lot of plaques, and everyone would have to pretend they loved her.
The train began moving and they were plunged into night until they cleared the tunnel and Tansy took her first breath since the reaping. They ate an enormous dinner and settled into silence in front of the television. To watch a replay of the interview. Tansy was surprised by how much she had actually ended up talking and how well she spoke despite her fear and grief. With the Capitol growing farther away every second, she began to think more of home. Of Annie and her father. She excused herself to change out of her dress and into a plain shirt and pants. As she slowly, thoroughly washed the makeup from her face and put her hair in two braids, she began transforming back into herself. Tansy Cresta. A girl who was born in District 11 and lived in Canning Row in District 4. Dived for pearls. Swam in the ocean. Fished with her father. Picked wild fruits and herbs with her sister. She stared in the mirror as she tried to remember who she was and who she was not. She realized how close she had become to Finnick. How much she had been hugging him. How much she enjoyed it. She needed to stop that. Finnick was Annie's boyfriend. She was sure he hadn't meant anything by it, but she couldn't say for certain that she didn't. So she forbade herself from making any further unnecessary physical contact with him. She wouldn't allow herself to develop feelings for the same guy her sister was in love with. She made herself remember what it felt like to be with Finnick before she warmed up to him. By the time she joined the others, the pressure of his arms around her felt alien.
When the train made a brief stop for fuel, they were allowed to go outside for some fresh air. There was no longer any need to guard Tansy. She decided to go for a walk along the tracks. Finnick went with her, and she couldn't find anything to say now that they were alone. He was usually the one who did most of the talking, but at the moment he seemed content just to be with her. She frowned slightly at the fluttering butterflies that knowing that made her feel. He stooped to pluck a handful of wildflowers for her. The white flowers were tops of wild garlic. And they reminded her of all the times she'd gathered them with Annie, and with Pepper and Root. When he presented them, she was surprised by the laugh that escaped her lips. She didn't know where it came from. Once she started she couldn't stop. Before long she was sitting on the ground, crying her eyes out. Finnick dropped the flowers and held her close in his arms, asking her what was wrong, whispering soothing words in her ear. Tansy gripped his shirt in her hands. Just this once. She had told herself she wasn't going to do this any more. But right now, she really needed it. Just one more time, and then it would be the last.
Fortunately, she managed to calm down by the time they heard the rumble of the engine and it was time to go back. By the time they climbed aboard, her eyes were red and a little puffy, but dry. When Mags saw this, she took Tansy by the hand and sat with her, holding her and stroking her hair. It was warm and comforting. It made Tansy feel safe. She could relax with Mags. There was nothing to complicate their relationship. She leaned into Mag's motherly embrace and stared out the windows at the darkening sky. Tansy must have fallen asleep, because she woke up in her bed the next morning. She did her best to act normal around Finnick and tried not to take her conflicted, one-sided feelings out on him. She knew that if she just ignored him he would know something was up, and she didn't want to hurt his feelings since he was only trying to help. She reminded herself that he was looking out for her as favor to Annie. Mags helped her secure a book to pass the time. It was perfect because it gave her an excuse not to have to talk or make eye contact with anyone. She had trouble sleeping at night. She often tossed and turned and even woke up screaming. But she stayed in her room, afraid that if she bumped into Finnick, she would give in again. She had to pretend she was asleep when he came into her room to check on her after hearing the screams.
It was a relief when they pulled into District 4. They stood there silently, watching their clean, colorful station rise up around them. Through the window, Tansy could see the platform was thick with cameras. Everyone would be eagerly watching her homecoming.
Out the corner of her eye, she saw Finnick start to extend his hand to her, so she grabbed Mags', sticking close to her instead. Tansy avoided making eye contact with him. She was nervous enough already. If she had, she would have seen the flicker of disappointment on his face. She held Mag's hand tightly, preparing for the cameras. Tansy steeled her nerves and focused her attention on helping Mags off the train. The moment Tansy set foot on the platform, she was nearly bowled over by someone who had wrapped their arms around her at a run.
"Tansy!"
A warm feeling of relief and affection flooded through Tansy as she quickly returned the hug. It was Annie. They had let her come to the station to meet her. Tears of joy streamed down her sister's face and Tansy could feel them on her cheeks. They held each other so tight that it hurt. Tansy buried her face against her sister's hair and breathed in her familiar scent, crying tears of happiness and relief. Annie was all right. She was home. They were safe. Tansy didn't know how long they stood together like that, but no one said a word to stop them. When Tansy finally raised her head again, she realized someone important was missing. "Where's Dad?" she asked.
Annie tensed and she suddenly looked extremely pale. The look in her eyes filled Tansy with cold and terrible feeling of dread. "Tansy…" Annie said hesitantly, biting her lip. Her expression was pained, full of sorrow, grief. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Tansy." More tears. "Dad… Dad's gone."
Tansy felt her knees buckle. She gasped for air like a fish out of water. She was vaguely aware of someone catching her as she fell. A pair of strong hands. Soft, feminine hands touched her face and squeezed her hands. There was a great commotion in the background. She caught fragments of what her sister was trying to say, like, "out alone," "boating accident," "drowned." That was absurd. Their father knew the ocean and his boats like the back of his hand. He was a great swimmer. And then, once again, she heard her mother's words echo through her mind like a curse. "It never ends, Tansy. The Games never end."
