Author's note: This will be the last chapter for this story, but the sequel should be up soon. The title for the next part will be "A Ripening Love", and it will deal with the details of how Tansy and Finnick's feelings evolve for each other and their relationship with the other victors. It will also cover the aftermath of her victory and events leading up to the 74th Hunger Games. This epilogue is a preview of A Ripening Love's first chapter. The rating for the sequel may rise to M. Happy holidays!


Epilogue


Tansy plunged into the cold water, letting it envelope her in its beautiful silence, leaving the rest of the world behind. The ocean was her last sanctuary. For a minute she just floated there, enjoying the feeling of being weightless. It was as if all of her burdens were being lifted away from her. If only that were true. She swam out to explore the reef. Most of the sea lions, seals, stingrays, and sharks had left for warmer waters, but the dolphins were still there. They chirped and made happy clicking noises when they say her and swam along with her in their usual playful manner. She loved her pod of dolphins. They were amazing. She never had to say anything, but they always knew when she needed cheering up. Like humans, dolphins showed affection with cuddles, pats, and strokes. When they sensed her grief, they would rub up against her and try to comfort her, even though they knew nothing of the Games or the terrible things she had done to survive and the terrifying threats that lingered over her head.

She had only just begun to pull herself back together. Learning of her father's death after losing Pepper and Root, and everything else she had been through was too much. The grief and the guilt nearly killed her. She withdrew from the world, curled up tightly inside her shell. She continued to give herself the minimum level of care for Annie's sake, but it was hard for Tansy to like herself. She suspected their father's strange and untimely demise had been her fault, the result of her actions in the arena. He was the most careful man Tansy had ever met. For him to drown so carelessly, tangled up in his own net, seemed impossible. Yet that was what had happened. He had been found washed up on the shore that way the morning before her homecoming. Tansy gently wrapped her arms around one of the younger dolphins when he snuggled his head against her, and she rubbed her head against his in return. Rays of sunlight pierced the deep blue as dawn began to lighten the sky above them. She couldn't fight the sun. She could only watch helplessly as it dragged her into a day that she had been dreading for months.

By noon they would all be at her new house in the Victor's Village. The reporters, the camera crews, even Priscilla Lush, her old escort, would have made their way to District 4 from the Capitol. She wondered if Priscilla's hair would still be bright purple, or if she would be sporting some other unnatural color especially for the Victory Tour. There would be others waiting, too. A staff to cater to her every need on the long train trip. A prep team to beautify her for public appearances. Her stylist and friend, Vita, who designed the gorgeous outfits that first made the audience take notice of her in the Hunger Games.

If it were up to Tansy, she would try to forget the Hunger Games entirely. Never speak of them. Try to pretend they were nothing but a bad dream. But the ache in her heart from the gaping hole where her friends and her father used to be and the Victory Tour made that impossible. Strategically placed almost midway between the annual Games, it was the Capitol's way of keeping the horror fresh and immediate. Not only were the districts forced to remember the iron grip of the Capitol's power each year, they were forced to celebrate it. And this year, she was the star of the show. The thought of it made Tansy sick. She would have to travel from district to district, to stand before the cheering crowds who secretly loathed her, to look down into the faces of the families whose children she had killed…

The sun persisted in rising, so Tansy made herself return to the shore. She parted with the dolphins and left the quiet of the ocean for the noise and chaos of the land. She had originally gone out to collect some shellfish, but as she made no real attempt at fishing, she had nothing to show for it. It didn't really matter for her and Annie anymore. They had money to burn now. They could afford to buy fish and butcher meat in town anytime they liked, although they didn't like the fish any better than when they caught it fresh for themselves. They still had some salmon left. By this time, Annie would be up and cooking it for breakfast before she headed off to work. Even though Tansy now had more than enough money to support them both, Annie kept working. Mostly to stay busy and keep her mind off of her own grief over their father's death. Tansy understood that. She had wanted to keep working, too. But she was a victor now, and apparently that just wasn't done. She could still go to school, and she often did in order to continue her learning, but it just wasn't the same. She didn't like the fame her new status had brought her. The only person she really wanted to be around there was Mari. Occasionally Dylan would join them, but he was still very shy. Tansy had at least had the presence of mind to finally thank him for the candy he gave her and politely informed him with as much kindness as she could muster that she wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone yet. He had taken the rejection fairly well and now they had become something like friends. Tansy had been wary of getting close to anyone after what had happened to her father, feeling it would be too dangerous. But Mari reminded her that it was also dangerous to be between the ages of twelve- and eighteen-years-old. Tansy realized she might have a point there. Everyone else her age was already in danger of facing a life or death situation, whether she was around or not.

But school didn't take up that much of the day. The rest of her time, once Tansy could bring herself to leave the house again, was filled with recreational diving, foraging, learning how to knit with Mags and, a little less often, tying knots to make nets with Finnick. She found the repetitive motions of these activities soothing and pleasantly mind-numbing. They were perfect for keeping busy and distracting yourself from having to think about anything in particular. She had tried to put some distance between her and Finnick once they returned, but all of her attempts had been rendered useless when he decided to ignore them, refusing to leave her alone. She wondered if it was because he felt responsible for her as a mentor or because she was Annie's little sister. Oddly enough, he and her sister didn't seem to be spending too much time together on their own anymore. She had asked Mags about it, but she just shrugged, said that was between the two of them. Tansy wanted to ask Annie, but it was harder for her to talk to her sister these days. It wasn't like before, when they could tell each other anything. The Games had spoiled even that. Too often, Tansy was worried about how much she should tell Annie about everything that had happened, about the danger it could put her sister in if she knew too much. She was terrified of losing her sister, too, and wanted to protect her. Although she knew Annie would have probably preferred for her to rely on her a little more. But since Tansy was keeping secrets, she didn't feel right asking Annie about hers. Annie had lost the only parent she had any clear memories of because of her. What right did she have to pry after that? And besides, she knew there were some things people didn't want or couldn't bear to talk about. If Annie wanted to tell her about it, she would. Tansy kept hoping that as time passed they would regain the ease between them, but part of her knew it was futile. There was no going back. Annie might forgive her, but Tansy would probably never be able to forgive herself.

She stopped by their home on her way back. Their old home, where they used to live with their father. It had become a silent monument to him. His room was left untouched. Everything still in its proper place, just how he liked it. They still got to keep it since officially it was the designated dwelling of her sister. If she should drop dead right now, Annie would have to return to it. So they took turns checking on it, keeping it clean, and making sure the utilities still worked. But at present, she and Annie were both installed in the new house in the Victor's Village.

Tansy went there now to switch her clothes. She dried off and exchanged her thermal wetsuit and swimming booties for dry clothes. She always kept a few spare outfits here since she often liked to swim over to the main harbor from the Victor's private beach. A warm pullover sweater, comfy denim culottes, and a pair of expensive machine-made sneakers. She rinsed out her wetsuit and hung it up over the tub to dry. Although time was ticking away, she allowed herself a few minutes to sit in their kitchen. Although no one really lived there anymore, and there was no fire in the hearth, it didn't feel abandoned. There was a clean cloth and small vase of fresh flowers on the table. Annie must have come by on her way home from work the previous evening. Tansy mourned their old life there. They may not have always gotten what they wanted, but their father made sure they always had what they needed, and Tansy knew where she fit in. She knew what her place was in the tightly interwoven fabric that was their peaceful life. She wished she could go back. It had felt so much more secure compared with now, when she was so rich and famous and so hated by the authorities in the Capitol. A strong breeze set the wind chimes tinkling on the porch outside. She had to go. It was a long walk back to the Victor's village from here.

The shoes were a little a loose around her heels as she trotted along the cobbled street. Cutting down alleys and through backyards to avoid the market and the main square. She wasn't in the mood for conversation that morning, and people had a habit of stopping her. Now that she was famous, even people she didn't know would try to chat or request a song. She usually didn't mind doing it for the younger children, but not today. Not when she was about to head back into the lion's den.

A thick ground fog started to roll in as she left the town and made her way to the Victor's Village. It was about a half-mile walk from the edge of town, but it seemed like a separate world entirely. It was a separate community built up on a rocky, green hillside, dotted with trees, flowering bushes, and vast patches of pink ice flowers. Past the Village was the lovely stretch of woods and greenery where she often went foraging with Annie. The back of the hill dropped off in a cliff that overlooked the ocean. A path of wide stairs had been carved out to provide easy access to the beach below. There were twelve houses, each large enough to hold ten little cottages like their old home. Half of them stood empty. The six in use belonged to her, Finnick, Mags, and the other three victors. Tansy had met Carmel, Aiden, and Allyn when she and Annie moved into the Village, but because she was too depressed to socialize until very recently, she still didn't know them too well. She knew Allyn was in his late fifties, Aiden was in his early forties, and Carmel was in her thirties. Allyn and Carmel were drinking partners, and Aiden liked to gamble and have barbeques and clambakes in his yard. Like most victors, including herself, they were a little on the dysfunctional side, but they seemed nice enough from the few times they had met. They were very understanding about how and why she had taken so long to properly introduce herself to them. That was one of the good things about living with other victors. Because they all shared similar traumas, they understood the secret pain they were all forced to hide. The same could not be said for the majority of 4's civilians, who had never experienced the true horror of the Games and their aftermath firsthand.

The houses inhabited by Tansy and Annie, Mags, Carmel, and Aiden gave off a warm glow of life and comfort. Lit windows, open curtains, bunches of corn affixed to the front doors and carved pumpkins on the porches and decks as decorations for the upcoming Harvest Festival. However, Allyn's house, despite the care taken by the grounds-keeper, exuded an air of abandonment and neglect. He had a cleaning lady come in once a week, but she could often be heard muttering complaints about how much he had trashed the house in between. He paid her an extremely generous fee to put up with it. Finnick's house usually had its curtains closed, and the lights were hardly ever on. But that was because he practically lived with Mags. He was always over there to help her out with something, but mostly for the company. She had practically raised him, so they very close. Finnick had been one of the Careers produced by the community home, an orphan. Mags was the closest thing he had to family. And Tansy and Annie seemed to have been added to that list. He often popped in on them for a visit, too. Especially when he felt Tansy had gone too long without showing her face outside the house. But since she had started to improve, Tansy would go over to Mags', too, while Annie was at work. So the three of them saw each other on a pretty much daily basis. It wasn't just them, though. Mags was sort of the matriarch of the Victor's Village, so her home had naturally become a gathering place for the victors.

But today, most of the action would be centered around Tansy's house. At the first step up the porch, she paused to knock off the damp soil that was clinging to the bottom of her shoes before she went in. They usually kept their home fairly tidy out of habit, but Annie had been working night and day to help her make everything perfect for the cameras, so it was no time to be tracking mud across the freshly shined floors. Tansy had barely stepped inside when she was hit by the mouthwatering aroma of pan-seared salmon with herbs, eggs, and toast. Her stomach growled and she suddenly realized how hungry she was. She headed straight for the kitchen.

She discovered that Mags and Finnick had beat her there. They were up early today. Mags was teaching Annie how to poach the eggs. Finnick was leaning against the counter next to the fridge with a glass of orange juice.

"There she is!" he said when she entered the room. "What took you so long? We were about to send out a search party," he teased.

Tansy shrugged. "I swam down to the harbor and decided to avoid the market on the way back." She answered as she stepped past him to get to the fridge. She opened the door and grabbed the pitcher of orange juice to pour herself a glass. "Want any?" she asked Annie and Mags.

"Yes, please," Annie said with a smile, while Mags nodded. "Would you mind getting the coffee started?"

Tansy shook her head as she finished pouring their glasses, handed them over, and crossed the kitchen to brew the coffee. They couldn't afford to have it so often before, but their father used to love coffee. It had become part of the sister's morning ritual to have a cup in memory of him. She added the ground beans and water to their fancy new coffeemaker and waited.

"So, how are you holding up?" Finnick asked, placing a hand on her shoulder as he approached her from behind. Tansy resisted the simultaneous conflicting urges she felt to move out of reach and to lean in closer. After she became conscious that she had begun to develop feelings for him that went beyond friendship, she had made an effort to pull back and tried to pretend it had never happened. But it had. And it was pointless to deny it to herself. An invisible barrier around her heart had shattered, and Finnick had managed to slip right in. Whatever she pretended, she could never look at him in quite the same way as she had before the Games, back when the only time she spoke to him was to react to his playful teasing. But she would never allow herself to act on these feelings. Not only did he still see her as a kid but, more importantly, he was Annie's boyfriend. Completely off limits.

"As well as can be expected, I guess," she answered quietly. "I just want it to be over."

"I know," he said, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. The Tours were always hard, but in Tansy's case, it also meant returning to her old district, the home of Pepper and Root. He knew she was dreading having to face the crowd there, even though neither of their deaths had been her fault.

When the eggs and coffee were done, the four of them sat down to eat in the breakfast nook by the kitchen windows. They made small talk to fill the silence. It was just like when she used to live in District 11. There, where it had been a daily struggle to survive for most and the peacekeepers had enforced the rules so harshly that they didn't hesitate to whip hungry children for taking crops from the fields or hang old men, like Cyrus, for hoarding ancient books and artifacts from pre-Panem eras that were deemed to contain "dangerous" information in hidden root cellars—there, she never forgot how crucial it was to guard her words. But six years of living in the safety and luxury of District 4 had made her soft. Tansy forgot something very important. A lesson she had been made to relearn in the worst ways. A few desperate and careless words escaped her lips during the Games, and in return, she lost her friend and her father. The Capitol was always watching. She would never forget that again for as long as she lived.

They were careful to avoid any topics of real importance. Aside from the impending Victory Tour. Annie's quiet remark of "I hope there won't be any trouble," was the closest they came to touching on the very real danger they could be in if anything went wrong. Finnick countered with a playful barb at Tansy's new haircut, saying "The real trouble will be when Fabia sees what your sister's done to her hair." He was probably right. The cameras weren't expected until noon but Vita and the prep team would be there soon to get her ready for the whole ordeal. They were going to have a fit when they saw her.

Despite strict instructions not to do anything drastic to her hair, Tansy had lopped most of it off one night, so the curls that used to fall down to her upper back now ended just a couple of inches below her jaw. It wasn't something she had done lightly. Cutting her hair when she was upset and trying to recover from a major setback had become a ritual for Tansy. Ever since the day they had to shave her head because she caught lice. She had just turned three-years-old and didn't know Pepper and Root yet. Her mother was going through a particularly terrible spell that had lasted over three weeks. They were out of food and Tansy's health and hygiene had gone neglected for so long that she developed a serious lice infection, but she was afraid that if she told someone, they would think her mother was bad and separate them. It was the frantic itching and scratching at her scalp whenever they saw her outside the house that finally drew their neighbors' attention. That light and freeing feeling she felt when all her hair was shaved off and she was rid of the lice became associated with the tremendous relief she experienced when she and her mother finally received the help they had so desperately needed. And, despite her fears that she might have been balded for life, her hair grew back with gusto. Cutting her hair was a reminder that nothing lasted forever, not even her troubles. So she cut her hair again to help deal with her grief over losing her father, Pepper, and Root.

As soon as she finished eating, Tansy went upstairs to the bathroom and filled the tub with steaming water. A decorative dish of dried flowers perfumed the air. Tansy added a small amount of coconut oil to the tub. Their old house had running water, too, but if they wanted a hot bath, they had to kneel down and reach under the tub to the light the brazier beneath it. Their father had added that himself by cutting a hole in the floor to make room for the small heater. It was enough to keep the water from getting too cold, but if they wanted a steaming bath like this, they had to boil a few pots of water to add to it themselves. Being able to turn on a tap and have a limitless supply of hot water at their fingertips from any faucet in the house was a luxury she hadn't experienced since she left her mother's house. She undressed and lowered herself into the silky water, and tried to not to lose a grip on things.

While she washed herself clean, she hummed to herself and started to sing. Not a real song, just some random notes she liked the sound of strung together. Singing was her coping mechanism, a way to process and release her pain, happiness, whatever else she happened to feel that was too big to keep inside. Music was what had helped her get through life, ever since she was little. And now it was her talent. Just as it had been for her mother before her. Every victor was supposed to have one. Their talent was the activity they took up since they didn't have to work either in school or their district's industry. It could be anything, really, anything that they could interview you about. Mags' talent was designing fishing lures and weaving intricate artisan baskets. Finnick's main talent was fishing, but with his looks, it wasn't long before he was recruited to model, too. He had done a lot of advertising jobs for local businesses and quite a few fashion shoots for the Capitol over the years. Singing for the Capitol had been the last thing Tansy wanted to do, but she had become so popular for her voice that it would have been extremely difficult to refuse, and she was afraid of what the consequences might be if she did. So as soon as she was deemed fit enough, she began working with a singing coach and sound technicians who were sent in especially to set up a small studio in her house's basement and help her record a collection of songs for her first album. A small camera crew was also sent to film the whole process. Fortunately for her, every piece was a song she was already familiar with, because the songs she sang during the Games had created a booming revival in popularity for old folk songs. From the list of approved songs that was given to her, Tansy chose O Death. Oh, My Darling Clementine. Where Did You Sleep Last Night. Across The Sea. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. The Pawpaw Patch. That one was dedicated to Pepper and Root, because the three of them used to sing it together while they worked in the orchards. Bringing in the Sheaves. Girl of Constant Sorrow. It was supposed to be Man of Constant Sorrow, but her voice instructor and the head sound technician thought it would be clever to change it. The Maid Freed From The Gallows. Birds and Ships. Bright Morning Stars. Path to the Moon. The Parting Glass. That one was recorded last, along with a special dedication to their father. He had always liked that one. Tansy initially chose clementine because she had always liked its melody and the sound technicians showed her this neat trick where they could offset and multiply the recording to make it sound like she was singing a three-part harmony with herself. But as she was singing, the complete picture of the imagery in the song hit her hard. "In a cavern, in a canyon," "you are lost and gone forever," "ruby lips above the water, blowing bubbles, soft and fine," these lines touched a raw nerve and conjured up painful and terrible memories of the arena and the way Pepper had drowned. She ended up crying in front of the cameras and had to stop for several breaks before she was finished. She wasn't surprised when Strange Fruit didn't make the list. Her singing coach and the rest of the production crew lamented that her mother's lullaby, the one she sang during the Games, had not been approved, either. Tansy suspected that was because the "demons" mentioned in it could be taken as an allusion to the Capitol officials, so there was no way they would have allowed that to continue spreading.

Tansy had slipped deeper into the tub until her head was submerged to rinse her hair. Even underwater she could hear the sounds of commotion. Honking car horns, shouts of greeting, doors banging shut. It could only mean her entourage had arrived. She just had time to towel off and slip into a robe before her prep team burst into the bathroom. There was no question of privacy. When it came to her body, they had no secrets, these three people and Tansy.

"Tansy, your hair!" Cassia shrieked right off. Her fuchsia hair had been lightened to a pastel and styled so it stuck out in sharp points all over her head, and the blue tattoos that used to be confined to her neck had traveled up and curled around her eyes, all contributing to the impression that Tansy had literally shocked her. Fabia nearly fainted, and Gaius, who had a new nose piercing, clapped his hands over his mouth in shock. Even with the dark cloud hanging over her, Tansy had to stifle a laugh.

Poor Fabia was struggling to fix her jostled orange wig, beside herself with grief. "Really, Tansy, you could have left me something to work with! How could you?" she cried. "You're called the 'Golden Siren' because of your golden hair! We specifically told you not to let anyone else touch it!"

"I didn't. I did this myself," Tansy said in defense. "Didn't Vita warn you before you came?" Lately they had been speaking a lot on the telephone that came with the house. It was sort of a joke because hardly anyone she and Annie knew owned one. There were Finnick and Mags, obviously, but now that they were neighbors they could walk over to their houses in less than a minute if they wanted to talk. At first, the thing barely ever got used. Then Vita started to call when she had to start working on her talent, because there had been talk of possibly making a music video, and if the idea went through, she would need costumes. Her singing coach and the production crew had mercifully come to the conclusion that she was suffering enough at the moment and decided to postpone creating a music video with her in it until she'd had more time to recover and adjust to the idea of having to perform professionally. Anyway, the moment Tansy finished cutting her hair, she realized she should probably at least let Vita know what she had done in case it would effect her designs. She didn't think it would be such a big deal since the stylist had been so forgiving about it. Obviously, her prep team felt different.

Fabia made a strange, strangled shrieking sound, clawed at the air, and stomped her foot. "No! No one told me anything!" she wailed.

"It's a national tragedy!" Cassia cried.

"Oh, but you're all so skilled, I thought that if anyone could fix this, it would be you. And I was careful not to bite my nails and keep my eyebrows plucked," Tansy said gently, grateful that she could show she hadn't totally taken them for granted.

This seemed to mollify them, and they all kissed her, set her down on a chair near the tub, and began the task of removing the soft, virtually invisible down on her legs. They had all the hair ripped off her body in record time. The tub was filled again, and she had to soak in a thick, unpleasant-smelling solution, while her face and hair were plastered with creams. Two more baths followed in other, less offensive concoctions. Tansy was plucked and scoured and massaged and anointed until she was raw. As usual, they had started talking nonstop without bothering to notice if she was listening. While they worked on her, she heard all about the Capitol. What a hit the Games were, how dull things had been since, how excited they were when her album was released, how she was being romanticized as a tragic heroine and the ideal picture of youthful innocence and beauty, how no one could wait until she visited again at the end of the Victory Tour. After that, it wouldn't be long before the Capitol began gearing up for the next Hunger Games.

"Isn't it thrilling?"

"You must be excited!"

"After all this will be your first year of being a mentor as well as a victor!"

Their words overlapped in a blur of excitement.

"Oh, yes," Tansy said neutrally. It was the best she could manage. The truth was, just thinking about it made her sick to her stomach. Being a mentor to the tributes was the stuff of nightmares. She couldn't walk by the school now without wondering what kid she would have to coach. That was a large part of the reason why she had a hard time going back. At first, she had tried to continue her studies from home, but she eventually realized that there was little point in trying to run from it, when she knew escape was impossible. At least going to school in person could mean being able to learn their strengths and weaknesses and provide a little help to anyone she saw falling behind before it was too late. After they had exhausted the topic of the Seventy-first Hunger Games, her prep team launched into a whole lot of stuff about their incomprehensibly silly lives. Who said what about someone she had never heard of and what sort of shoes they just bought and a long story from Gaius about what a mistake it was to have melted chocolate sculptures at an outdoor party.

The three of them didn't seem to have any clue how traumatic the Games were for her and everyone else from the districts. To them it was just a TV show, a game. She wondered how much the ordinary citizens in the Capitol knew. How many of them were aware of how sinister the government could be. Tansy suddenly remembered of one of the ancient books old Cyrus, who used to let the more discrete adults and children in to read for a little while at a time, had kept in his cellar. Animal Farm. She was only six or seven at the time, and she hadn't really thought about it in years, so some of the details were a little vague, but she remembered enough. She had started reading it because of the title, but it proved to be anything but a cute children's story about cuddly animals. First, the animals chased away the humans and took over the farm because they were tired of being overworked and slaughtered. They all agreed on a set of rules that were meant to be fair to everyone. But then the pigs, who were given more power because they were the smartest group of animals, began secretly changing the rules and took over ruling the farm in place of the humans. Anyone who opposed them was punished, and by the end of the book, the pigs acted and looked like humans so much that it was hard for the other animals to tell them apart. It was a very scary story. A cautionary tale about the dangers of how too much power could corrupt and lead to abuse.

They applied a lotion to sooth Tansy's raw skin, and soon her curly hair was smooth and silky, and her nails were ready to be painted. Apparently they had been given instructions to prepare her whole body from head to toe, even though it was winter and would be freezing in many of the other districts, because District 4 was known for its mild winters, so it would look strange for her to be completely covered apart from her hands and face. And there was no point in delaying it since it would be the same in District 11, the second stop on the Tour. Gaius badly wanted to use his own trademark blue lipstick on her but resigned himself to a translucent pink as they began to color her face and nails. Tansy could see by the palette Vita had assigned that they were going for a subdued girlish look, not sexy. Good. She would never be able to make it through if she was trying to be provocative. That had become pretty clear when Finnick was coaching her for her interview for the Games. She made a very awkward seductress.

When her hair was done, Tansy found Vita in her bedroom, and just the sight of her made her feel more hopeful. She looked the same as always, elegant clothes, curled and plaited platinum-blonde hair, doll-like makeup. The only difference was that she wore black for winter instead of her usual white. They embraced, and Vita gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

"So, how did they handle it?" she asked, touching a short, golden curl gently.

"I think I may have come dangerously close to awakening some homicidal tendencies in Fabia," said Tansy. "Why didn't you tell them?"

"And deprive you of the look on their faces when they found out?" Vita said slyly.

"You're so wicked," Tansy said with a wry smile.

"If you think I'm wicked now, you should see me before I've had my coffee," she said, placing her hands on Tansy's shoulders to steer her towards the bed, where she had laid out her clothes.

Tansy didn't pretend to be stylish and normally had little interest in fancy clothes, but she did love the ones Vita made for her. Like these. Another pair of culottes in navy-blue, pleated, and made of a soft, flowing material. A loose turtleneck sweater, woven from black kitten-soft wool, with fluffy quarter-length sleeves and small, subtle embellishments in various shades of blue on the shoulders to add a bit of color and shine. Black leather ankle boots that fit her heels just right. She held still while Vita made some adjustments to her hair, tying a navy-blue scarf with wavelike patterns around her hair in a simple but elegant knot like a headband to keep it out of her face.

"You're bringing headscarves back in style. By the way, congratulations on finishing the album. It must have been hard," Vita said sympathetically, giving her hands a comforting squeeze. "I can't listen to it without getting chills."

Neither could Tansy. It was as hard to listen to as it had been to make, but she was pretty sure that Vita had meant it in a good way. "I can't believe they released it already," she said.

"They usually wait until today to finish filming promotions for a new victor's talent. But if they had put of its release any longer, there really would be riots," said Vita. "The look on your face tells me you don't believe it, but a handful of people were trampled when the crowds who hadn't preordered rushed into the stores the first day it went on sale."

"That's terrible," Tansy said. She had a hard time picturing the etiquette-driven people of the Capitol acting like a pack of wild dogs fighting over piece of meat for the sake of a few songs. Tansy loved music, but she wouldn't trample someone for it.

"That's how talented you are," Vita said, giving her a gentle pat on the cheek. "Come on, I want you to introduce me to that wonderful sister of yours."

"You didn't meet her yet?" Tansy asked as they headed back downstairs.

"No, Finnick was the one who greeted us and pointed us in your direction. For a moment, we thought we had the wrong house. He answered the door like he owned the place," Vita explained, clearly amused.

"Yeah, he does that," Tansy said with a small shrug, hoping it didn't show when her cheeks started to heat up. They found the others in the living room, where Annie was serving tea and lemon cookies shaped like starfish, seashells, and seahorses. The prep team responded with enthusiasm and earnest smiles. They were obviously thrilled to meet her, and all three were so eager and readily respectful and nice to her sister that Tansy felt bad about the times she had looked down on them. Who knew who she would be or what she would talk about if she had been raised in the Capitol? Maybe her biggest regret would be having melted chocolate sculptures at her outdoor party, too. She was glad that Annie seemed to be enjoying herself. Finnick and Mags weren't there. They must have returned to their own homes to finish getting ready before the cameras arrived.

Speak of the devil. Just then, Priscilla Lush arrived in a harvest gold wig to remind everyone, "We're on a schedule!" She kissed Tansy on both cheeks while waving in the camera crew, and then ordered her into position. Priscilla could be a little odd, but she took her work as an escort very seriously because she genuinely wanted to support her tributes and victors, so Tansy tried to accommodate her. She welcomed the camera crew into her home and introduced them to her sister, even though she would have rather kept Annie as far away from the Capitol's prying eyes as possible. But the public couldn't get enough of the devoted sisters, so they tried to interview the two of them together as often as possible, preferably while they were holding hands. Annie looked lovely in a dark green frock that brought out her eyes, her reddish-brown hair pulled back in a long, over-the-shoulder fishtail braid. Many of the questions were for Annie, about how proud she must be of her sister. About how they had been coping since their father passed away, the significance of The Parting Glass song to their family. About his death.

Bam! It was like someone actually hit Tansy in the chest. No one had, of course, but the pain was so real she almost had to take a step back. She squeezed her eyes shut and she didn't see Annie—she saw her father, the closed casket from his funeral that held his waterlogged corpse. She raised a hand to cover her mouth as bile rose from her stomach. Who else would she fail to save from the Capitol's vengeance? Who else would be dead if she didn't satisfy President Snow?

She realized Annie was holding her close, politely answering that it was still too difficult for them to talk about his passing at that time. They quickly moved on to other, less sensitive topics and shortly concluded the interview.

Priscilla was nearby, clapping her hands. "Attention, everyone! We're about to do the first outdoor shot, where the victors greet each other at the beginning of their marvelous trip. Now, Tansy, give us a smile and try to look excited, all right?" Tansy and Annie exchanged another, deep embrace and a kiss goodbye on the cheek. Then Priscilla gave Tansy a gentle push out the door.

For a moment, she couldn't quite see right because of the sun, which was shining right in her eyes. Tansy raised a hand to shield them and saw that Finnick was already at Mags' door, offering her his arm to give her a little extra support for the walk they had ahead of them. A smile graced Tansy's lips at the sight and she started walking in their direction. Mags looked up and called out to her. Finnick looked up and gave her a handsome smile. Tansy quickened her pace to meet them. Mags reached out to her. Tansy took her hand and tucked it into the crook of her arm, supporting her from her side as well. They looked very cozy together, the three of them. Tansy was still nervous in front of cameras, but being so close to the others helped calm her. She could feel the reassuring experience bought with age from Mags, and the steady confidence that Finnick brought to everything. And she knew she wasn't alone. She had two of the most dependable allies anyone could hope to ask for. They were still looking out for her. Just as they had while she was in the arena. Somehow, even though it made her happy, the thought also made her want to cry. Instead, she tightened her grip on Mags a little more, and they continued steadily on their way.

The rest of the day was a big blur of getting to the station, bidding everyone goodbye, the train pulling out, the old team—Tansy, Finnick and Mags, Priscilla and Vita—dining on an indescribably delicious meal of a light bean soup, a green salad, and flambéed Squab with cherries. Finnick noticed Tansy had been fidgety since before dinner, and seemed to be contemplating something very serious. Which wasn't strange, considering her position. Victory Tours were hard enough without having to know the lives your family and friends were being held hostage. But he didn't like seeing her suffer like this. He wanted to ask her about it, see if it was something he could help her with. He was waiting for a chance to take her somewhere they would be less likely to be under watch, a stop at a fueling station, perhaps. But Tansy beat him to it.

They were just served a pretty pink pudding for dessert, when she suddenly asked, "I was just wondering… is there any way for a victor to donate part of their winnings to another district? Or maybe to the families of the fallen tributes?"

Her question surprised everyone at the table. "Oh, no," said Priscilla almost immediately. "No, dear, I'm afraid that sort of thing just isn't allowed. You simply can't use your winnings that way. It's against the rules."

"Oh," Tansy said, so disappointed that she visibly wilted in her chair. "I see." That was that, then. She had wanted to do something for the people in 11 and the families of the tributes she killed, although she knew no amount of money could make up for what she had done. But with Annie's life on the line, she couldn't afford to be seen trying to go against the rules again. Whatever she did would probably come back on Finnick and Mags, too. When she was in the arena, they had been unable to communicate with her, so whatever happened in there had been entirely her own fault. But now, on the Tour, they would all be traveling on the same train, free to talk, to ask and give guidance at any time. Some of the blame would surely fall on them if something went wrong this time. Tansy couldn't afford to screw this up. Too many people's fates depended on her giving a good show. She placed a hand against the soft collar of her sweater and felt the pearls on her choker behind it. She would have to find another way.

After dinner, they watched the short documentary on the making of her first album, Songs of Land and Sea. Priscilla had insisted. The film had been included in the most expensive preorder package for it. It wasn't nearly as terrible as Tansy had feared. It was mentioned how the whole album had been dedicated in honor of the all the fallen tributes in general, as well as the specific dedications placed on individual songs for her friends and father. This was where they showed the scenes they filmed of Tansy explaining the significance of what each song meant to her and the people they were dedicated to. They really played up the tragic and youthful beauty angle, overlaying a clip of her with tears streaming down her face as she sang with audio from her singing coach describing what dedicated worker she was for someone with such raw, natural talent, praising the way she was willing to work through her grief. But then they reached the end, when they showed the music video that had been made for O Death. It was truly horrific. They had put together a montage of the other tribute's death scenes to match the lyrics. Tansy stared at the screen, unable to tear her eyes from it. She was paralyzed with a multitude of emotions, the most prominent of which were, shock, outrage, anger, and horror. She should never have chosen that song. She should have expected something like this. But she hadn't. She was angry at herself for letting it happen. And her punishment was having her deepest wounds ripped open again as they showed Pepper and Roots deaths as part of this twisted display for entertainment. Just as the noose was slipped around his neck, a large, hand covered her eyes, and she was pulled back against something warm and solid. Finnick. The moment he realized was what coming, he moved to shield her from it.

"I think that's enough for now. You've had a big day, and it's going to be a long trip. Time for bed, Tansy." he said, while Mags nodded in agreement and Vita promptly had the gruesome thing shut off. Priscilla had been very excited about the music video, but she regretted it when she saw the effect it had Tansy.

She was a little shaky as Finnick helped her stand, but Tansy gave him a brief hug to let him know she was grateful for the save and wished everyone goodnight with as a steady a voice as she could manage before heading for her room. As soon as the door closed behind her, she ripped off her clothes, jumped in the shower, and tried to wash and scrub the feelings away. She sang Bright Morning Stars over and over again and made herself think of happy things—the ocean, the dolphins, knitting with Mags, playing on the beach with Annie, Annie singing, Annie's smile, Finnick's smile, Finnick acting goofy to make them laugh, fishing with Finnick, battling a stray tomcat with him that had the looks and personality of a salty, old sea captain that liked to steal from their catch—until O Death and all the terrible images that went along with it were pushed out of her head. She didn't know how long she had been in the shower, but it was enough for the tips of fingers to wrinkle like raisins. She turned off the water, stepped out of the shower, and dried off. She had just finished swathing herself in pajamas and a voluminous robe, when there was a knock at the door. She opened it and found Finnick standing there with a cup of warm milk. Just like that first night after she volunteered for the Games. She stepped aside to let him in.