Obviously it's taken me far too long to update and I am sorry. Again, I'm not going to promise anything but hopefully this chapter will answer some questions. Also, it's written a little differently than the rest of the chapters so hopefully you will like it. Enjoy, review, etc.

Austin's leaving in two days. I can't believe he's actually going to L.A. I kind of can't believe anything right now. It's like my whole body is kind of... numb? Yesterday Austin told me that he was gonna move to L.A. with Cassidy and I just can't believe it. I can't believe that Austin would want to marry her.

I can't believe Austin doesn't want me.

7 Years Earlier: Ally's Point of View

I put my pen down and looked over the words I had just written. They seemed so foreign, like I hadn't written them, but yet they were profoundly true. Within the last few months, Austin had reconciled with Cassidy, whom he hadn't spoken to in years, gotten a job in L.A., and gotten a scholarship to a university in California.

I actually couldn't believe Austin was leaving. It was only our second year of college and we were doing so well. We'd had a few moments here and there, a kiss at a party, hands mingling with each other's during awkward or intense moments, long, lingering hugs. It all seemed so obvious, like at some point we were both going to drop the act and get back together. That was how it seemed until a party a couple months back when Starr records bought out some random label that just happened to represent Cassidy's band. Austin got to talking with her and one thing led to another.

"Hey Ally," he said, sauntering in and lifting me up. He spun me around a little then set me down, a smile on his face, just like yesterday and the day before. Ever since he and Cassidy had decided that they were going to move to L.A. to try to pursue their careers and their relationships, he'd been happy and always smiling at everyone. He was like a new person, even though he was always happy. I smiled back and squeeze his shoulder.

"What's up?"

"Just coming to see what my favorite songwriter is doing," he says, grinning and moving toward the desk. "Is this a new song?" he asks, pointing toward my open songbook and moving toward it.

"NO!" I scream, moving swiftly in front of him and picking up my book. "Don't touch me book." I say lightly, and give a half-hearted laugh.

"Okay, no need to get spazzy Ally. I've touched your book before you know." He gives me a coy smile and then proceeded to wander around the room, seeming to forget the encounter that had just taken place.

"Hey, do you want to come help me pack tomorrow? I need all the help I can get."

"Sure, Austin," I reply coolly, stashing my songbook in my backpack and moving to sit at the piano. Austin sits next to me and spreads his fingers over the keys. Somehow I know this is going to be the last time we were going to be like this, normal, sitting together and playing music. After today, everything is going to change. We start with some random chords, not really trying to make the music sound good, but that's okay, because whenever Austin and I play together it someone always sounds good. Our hands glide across the keyboard until they meet in the middle, lingering for a moment, and then pulling away. It's something that's happened since the first time we played piano together, it's like no matter how we move, our hands always end up touching.

"Hey, Babe." Cassidy walks in, moving towards Austin and me and puts her arms around Austin's neck from behind and kisses his cheek, totally oblivious to the fact that I was only a few inches away from him. Austin turns around and kisses her lightly, obviously aware of my presence but only caring a little bit. He strokes her hair with his hand and then lets it fall down her arm and holds her hand. I stand up from the piano bench, suddenly very uncomfortable with the situation, and walk around the room. No more than three seconds after I've stood up, Cassidy settles next to Austin. I give her a shy smile and hope it doesn't portray my true emotions.

"So, baby, did you find someone to help you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, Ally's gonna come over." Austin says, placing his free hand over the one he was already holding and looking at her, then glancing at me.

"Oh," she pauses, but quickly picks up as if there was no hesitation, "that's great. Thanks, Ally. I really appreciate it since I'm so busy with my place." She smiles and I return it. Be nice I tell myself. Austin loves her.

"Come on, Austin, we gotta go." She stands up and takes Austin's hand with her, leading him out of the practice room and away from me. She smiles and waves goodbye and Austin does the same.

"See you tomorrow?"

"See ya," I respond, closing the door slowly and sliding back against it. I sit with my head in my knees for a moment, then pick myself up and take my songbook out of my bag. I open it to the third to last page, I can't believe that I'm almost done with this book, and I finish my entry from earlier.

I love you, Austin Moon.

xxx

"Mornin', Ally," Austin sings as he opens the door, I laugh and walk across the threshold. He motions toward the multitude of boxes, "Just barely half. We've got a lot of work today, my friend." It was a good hearted comment, but the reference to my being just his friend makes my stomach knot up and I have to look away from him for a moment.

"Where do we start?"

"All of my stuff left to pack is in my bedroom." He leads down the hall and into his room. His bed is bare but with two boxes stacked on top. One labeled "CDs" another labeled "Band T-Shirts". I move toward his drawers and open one. Still full.

"Austin, you have got to be kidding me! Have you even started to pack your clothes yet?"

"A little," he chuckles, holding up two shirts from the box on his bed.

"Let's start, then," I say, taking a box from the corner and labeling it pants and folding the contents of one of the drawers into it.

It was about three thirty, we'd been working for about five hours and his room was almost entirely packed up. Just two boxes left and most of the others were in the living room, ready for the truck that was coming tomorrow morning.

"Alright, I'm taking a break," Austin says, flopping back on the empty bed and sighing. I join him and jump right next to him. He rolls closer to me and laughs, I follow suit and it's a free for all. He leans over and tickles me stomach, I recoil and then launch a counter attack. We roll off his bed and I land on top of him. We stop tickling each other and just kind of stare, it's electric, it's powerful. I lean in, he does too, and soon it becomes passionate. He rolls over me and we continue it's powerful, hungry, just like I've always wanted. Then he stops. He pulls away and sits against his wall. I sit up to and meet his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Ally! I don't know what came over me!"

"It's alright, Austin. I'm the one who should apologize. It's my fault." I start to get up, my face is flushed bright red, I can feel it. He stands up quickly and stops me.

"Ally...," he hesitates, look me up and down, trying to find the right words. Suddenly I feel very self-conscious and I cross my arms over my chest and look away. "I have to tell you something. I, I really didn't mean for that to happen, but it did and now I... I know she's right." I lift my eyes and meet his, he looks older, he looks sad.

"What do you mean?"

"Ally, I can't see you anymore. I can't be around you. I thought that maybe if we were able to spend today together, just as friends, I could prove to Cassidy that she's wrong, that we are just friends, despite our history, but she was right. I'm so sorry, Ally. I have to make this work with Cassidy. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, uh..." I'm stuttering, I know I am. My eyes are red and my face is flushed and there are tears beginning to streak my face. I can see it almost like I'm looking in a mirror. "I have to go." He tries to grab my arm but I push him away, I start to speed up, I get to the door and I run to my car. I put the key in and I turn it and I'm gone. At the stop sign at the end of Austin's block I turn around, the world around me blurred by years, and I see his outline sitting on his front steps. This isn't fair.

I drive around aimlessly for a while, phone switched off and no destination. Eventually I find my way back home and I go inside. I wish I could hate Austin, but I can't. If anything, I feel like I love him more and that's freaking screwed up. I throw my backpack on my bed and put my face into one of the pillows. My dad's away at some kind of music store owners' convention so the house is eerily quiet. Soon the silence is filled with my cries though, quiet at first but slowly louder and louder. Finally I get up and call Trish and she promises to come over as soon as she can. I reach for my backpack and pull my songbook out, along with a pen, and take a seat at my desk.

Dear Songbook

I cross that out and start over.

Dear Austin,

I know you're leaving tomorrow. I know we just kissed and I know that you can't see me anymore. I don't understand what the hell is wrong with you, but I'm going to try my best to accept it. I want you to be happy.

But remember, when there was no way you could make it without me, well I can see that that time is gone. I just want you to know that I'm going to miss you.

I'm really going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you so much, Austin.

It kills me.

Have fun in L.A.. I know only good things are going to happen to you. I mean, you're the greatest person I've ever known. You're my best friend in the whole world.

And I love.

I still love you.

But I know it's not going to happen and I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy for Cassidy and you and for your entire life ahead.

Just remember that I'll always love you.

And there's still no way I could make it without you.

Ally

I feel a tear roll down my cheek, then another, and another. They spot the page and I make a little connect-the-dots. It's a guitar. It's obviously a guitar. It's four dots on a page but it's a guitar. I wipe my face and close the book. That's it. That's my last entry. I decide that I can't use the last page, there's no longer anything that I want to put on it. I debate ripping it out but I decide to leave it. My songbook is unfinished. It will always be unfinished.

xxx

"Hey, have you seen Ally?" Austin asks Dez.

It's the following morning and I can hear him from where I'm standing. Dez is loading a box onto the truck. He gives Austin a glare and then gestures with his chin over Austin's shoulder. I see Cassidy in the front of the truck, picking up the boxes and organizing them as Dez hands them to her. Austin turns and he stops, he looks at me and just kind of stands there. Like a deer in headlights.

I move slowly, holding the songbook tightly to my chest. I realize that I called it the songbook, and not mine. It might not be much, but it's something makes my eyes threaten to let loose a tear. Cassidy notices me and quickly returns to the boxes, glancing up at me and Austin every few moments.

"I'm so glad you came!" Austin walks toward me, arms open. I don't move as he wraps his arms around me. Noticing something is wrong, Austin pulls away and looks at my eyes, holding my shoulders as if he's steadying me, fearful that if he lets go I might crumble. It's nice. I let go of the songbook a little and hold it out to him. "What are you doing, Ally? What is this?"

"It's my songbook. I don't want it anymore." I hold it out but he refuses to take it.

"Ally this is yours. I could never take it. Ever."

"Austin. Take it. I don't want it and if there's anyone in the universe that I would give this to it's you. Please." His hands wrap around the songbook and one of them grazes mine. I pull it away and slowly turn around. I don't say goodbye. I don't look back. All I hear is Austin.

"Ally. Ally!" I keep walking. He steps back and asks Dez something. Whatever he asks, he doesn't do anything to catch me, and as I'm walking I'm not even sure if I want him to chase me. I'm not sure if I even want him.

I turn around. His eyes meet mine for a final time and I know, that's a lie.

Ooooo drama!

Did you guys miss me? I'm really proud of this chapter actually. I know I could lie and tell you that I've been working on it for weeks, but honestly I just got the inspiration this afternoon and it's all been downhill from there. I hope you guys enjoy and review!

Plus, inspiration and ideas are ALWAYS welcome! :)