Chapter 9

Kaori frowned and leaned back in her bad. She'd stayed awake for nights after the prefecturals, finishing all her pending work in a sudden fit of anger towards Sousuke. Now she was completely up-to-date on everything; school, cram school, Student Council work… and yet, she couldn't sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw Sousuke's kind blue-green eyes flashing at her in anger at prefecturals.

He'd never looked at her like that before.

Kaori felt tears fill her eyes as she pressed her face into the pillow. She had thought being with Sousuke would be one, long magical ride. But even though there were some amazing moments, they seemed to be spending most of their time disagreeing. Kaori remembered him lying to her that weekend when Rin had called, and the many times they'd disagreed since he came back from Tokyo. They'd never fought once in middle school. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, noticing a text from Sousuke. She sat up quickly. It had been almost a week.

Sousuke: I'm sorry.

Kaori blinked, wiping her tears away as she looked at his simple message. She glared at it. Did he really think that those two words would solve anything? She frowned as she typed back quickly.

Kaori: At least have the guts to call me instead of texting. And I don't want your apologies. I want to know what was wrong with you that night. I want an explanation.

Sousuke: I don't have an explanation. And I didn't call because I thought I would disturb you if you were studying.

Kaori: I am not texting you about this. Meet me after your swim practice tomorrow.

Sousuke: Don't you have cram school on Wednesdays?

Kaori: …Just go to hell.

Sousuke: Fine. If you want to meet, we'll meet. See you tomorrow.

Kaori tossed the phone aside and ran a hand over her face. Maybe she would get some answers tomorrow. Although it didn't seem that likely.

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"Are… are you sure you want me to go?" Sousuke asked quietly. His bed was spread with bags and suitcases, half-filled with clothes as he packed for Tokyo. Kaori was sitting silently at the end of the bed, handing him things as he began to stuff them into suitcases. Sousuke took the small pile of t-shirts she handed him and frowned at her. "Kaori-chan. You're being really quiet."

"I know. Gomen," Kaori mumbled. She put her hands in her lap after handing him the pile of t-shirts. "I just… I hate when you ask me that question. It's really hard for me to keep answering. Of course I don't want you to go, but you should."

Sousuke sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It'll help your career, right? Tokitsu is one of the best swimming schools in Tokyo?"

"Hai."

Kaori nodded. Her thick glasses were sliding down her nose as she stared at her hands in her lap. She bit her lip. "Then it's okay. I really want your swimming career to work out, Sousuke-kun. Nothing would make me happier. Besides…" she looked up at him nervously. "If you're in Tokyo, that gives me all the more reason to work hard so I can join you there."

Sousuke nodded. "I'll call you every day," he promised.

"You don't need to make promises like that. I know you'll be busy. We'll both be busy." Kaori looked up at him hopefully. "I like you a lot, Sousuke-kun. But this is a really crucial point in achieving our dreams. We shouldn't be getting distracted right now."

"Then you don't want me to call you?" Sousuke asked, confused.

"It's not that. But we both have to get our priorities right. What I'm trying to say, is…" she took a deep breath and looked up at him. Her purple eyes were shining. "I don't mind being second to your swimming right now. You should focus on that. We shouldn't distract each other. But… but once we've both gotten into the universities we want in Tokyo, then we can be together."

"We'll be together once we've achieved our dreams," Sousuke echoed.

"Hai. So even if we don't call or talk to each other for weeks… what matters is that we're doing everything we can to be together when the day comes. And I might not say it aloud, but that's all I will think about for the next three years."

Sousuke looked down at Kaori. He understood what she was trying to say. They both had dreams, and they couldn't compromise on them for the sake of spending a little time together. Kaori had never been the kind of person to take risks. She would much rather be sure that they would be together after these three years, than spend three years together and not know about the future. Sousuke took a deep breath. It only made him love her more. He loved that no matter what, she would never be swayed from what she wanted.

"Okay," he said quietly. "I'm going to become one of the best swimmers in the country. And even if I don't call you often enough or write letters for the next three years… all I'm going to be thinking about is when you'll join me in Tokyo. Just don't forget that."

Kaori nodded and smiled. "Tokyo. Not before, not after. In exactly three years, I'll see you again."

Sousuke dropped the t-shirts in his hands and then walked over to the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar; he peeked out of it to make sure his mother was downstairs and then shut the door quietly. He came back over to Kaori and kneeled in front of where she sat on the bed. Their faces were at almost the same height. "Kaori-chan," Sousuke said quietly, taking her hand in his. "C-can I kiss you?"

Kaori flushed a deep red, but nodded. Her heartbeat thudded as Sousuke gently leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. It was a quick peck; soft and warm and all too short. Kaori leaned forward again, but Sousuke pulled his head back with a small smile. "Nope. We'll do it again when you come to Tokyo. Your idea, remember?"

Kaori smiled. "Okay."

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Kaori stumbled into the park, her arms filled with books. The small tower was teetering dangerously in her hands and hoped that she wouldn't drop them in the mud. She sighed as she noticed that the park was almost deserted. The elementary school hadn't let out yet.

She walked over to a nearby bench and placed the books on it. She had just come from the library; cram school class was postponed, but they'd been set tons of work to make up for it. Kaori bit her lip and sat on the bench beside her huge pile of books. She hadn't been to this park in so long. Kaori had come here with Kisumi and Sousuke many times in middle school; Rin as well, in elementary. Did Sousuke have to choose a place with so many memories for them to meet?

"Kaori!"

Sousuke's voice was calm and clear. Kaori watched as he entered the park and made his way over to her. She couldn't resist a smile when he passed by the jungle gym. They'd struggled to climb to the top as kids, but now Sousuke was almost twice as tall as it. His blue-green eyes were conflicted as he came over and glanced at the pile of books. "What is all that?" Sousuke asked.

Kaori sighed. "Um, just some books I issued from the library. I have a lot of homework."

"Right, we can make this quick," he mumbled.

"I didn't come all the way here to make it quick. I'd rather talk about what's going on. Sousuke, there's something I don't know about. Did something happen in Tokyo? Or are you having second thoughts about the college you got a scouting offer from?" Kaori asked nervously. It had struck her last night. Maybe Sousuke didn't want to go to college in Tokyo. Maybe he'd found someplace better and didn't know what to tell her.

Sousuke frowned. "I am having second thoughts. But not about college."

"Then?"

"I… I think we should break up."

Kaori stared at him for a long moment. Sousuke's eyes were on the ground as he said it and for a few moments, the words were a mere sound to her. The meaning took time to sink in. Kaori's hands trembled as she stared at Sousuke in shock. "W-what? Break up?"

Sousuke clenched his fists. He hadn't been prepared for the horrified, distraught expression on Kaori's face. He hadn't thought it would be so difficult to say these words to her. But somehow, he knew that he had to do it. "Kaori, let's be practical. This was a mistake from the start."

"The start?" Kaori echoed, horrified.

"Hai-I mean… I don't mean the start as in elementary school. I mean us, together, now. Getting together after I came back to Iwatobi was a mistake. We should never have started a romantic relationship."

Kaori felt her throat close up. "It was your idea."

"I know. I don't know what I was thinking. We both agreed to be together after we'd achieved our dreams, after we were settled in Tokyo. We should have waited until then. All we're doing right now is distracting each other. We're taking out the stress of our uncertain futures on each other and that's wrong." Sousuke replied quietly.

Kaori stared at him in disbelief. "You mean I'm taking out the stress of my uncertain future. Since yours is already fixed."

"I'm not blaming you for anything," Sousuke replied quietly. He looked up at her, his blue-green eyes pleading. "Just try to understand. I think we should focus on ourselves right now and wait for Tokyo, like we always planned."

"That wasn't an appointment! I just didn't think I'd see you before that!" Kaori cried.

Sousuke took a deep breath. He could see tears forming in Kaori's eyes and he closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see her cry. He didn't think that his resolve could take it. "I think it's the best idea, Kaori."

"Well I think it's a crappy idea that you came up with so that you can hide whatever it is that you're trying to hide from me!" Kaori snapped. "I don't even know what's going on with you anymore! Do you think I'm an idiot that hasn't noticed the way you've been behaving? The way you tense up every time I mention Tokyo? That fact that you've been disappearing god-knows-where after lying to me and Rin? But I never asked, never pushed it, because I trusted that if something was going on you would be honest with me!" Kaori yelled, amidst tears.

Sousuke clenched his fists. "I'm not hiding anything-"

"As if! The only think I don't know is what it is. Well, Sousuke? Will you at least tell me that before you dump me in the park we used to play in as kids? Is there some other girl? Did you meet someone in Tokyo and not know how to tell me?"

"Are you stupid? There's never been anyone but you!"

"Then what's the problem?"

Sousuke stared at her. "I just don't think our relationship is helping anything right now! I think it would be better if we took a break, at least until after your entrance exam. For God's sake, why are you behaving as though I've secretly murdered someone?"

"Because you might as well have, for all the information you're giving me!" Kaori cried. She glared at him, her purple eyes filled with angry tears. When Sousuke didn't respond, she used her sleeve to wipe the tears away quickly and looked down at him. Her gaze was determined. Her voice was quiet when she next spoke. "There will be no break, Sousuke."

"What?"

"I don't want to take a break. If you dump me right now, then it's for good. No Tokyo, nothing." She stared at him, almost as though she was giving him a challenge. "Do you still want to do it?"

Sousuke closed his eyes. "…Yes."

Kaori felt as though someone had stabbed her chest. She'd never thought he would say that. She thought Sousuke would take back his stupid idea, and they could work on fixing her relationship. "Okay," Kaori whispered. She backed away from Sousuke, her feet landing clumsily in the grass. Her mouth seemed incapable of forming any other word. "Okay," she whispered again, before running out of the park, one hand over her mouth to hold in the choked sobs.

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A/N – Sorry I took a while to post his chapter! I've been busy. I have the next chapter ready, so I'll be posting it very soon!

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Hope you continue to enjoy!