Chapter 16

Sousuke went down to his room to take a shower and change. It was empty; Rin had probably gone to eat or was with the Iwatobi Club. Sousuke went back about to Kaori's room about twenty minutes later, feeling more composed. He'd changed into a comfortable t-shirt and sweatpants and he sighed, ringing the doorbell to Kaori's room. He heard her shuffling around a bit before she opened the door.

"Hey! Come on in!" she greeted. Her hair was wet and she had a towel in one hands, using it to rub the damp hair to dryness. Sousuke felt his stomach clench as he looked down at what she was wearing. It was a small pink nightie; he'd seen her buy something of that color at one of the shops, but he hadn't been paying much attention back then. It fit her figure perfectly; her shoulders were bare and the hem stopped just around her mid-thigh.

"W-what are you wearing?" he blurted out. For a moment, he could only gape at her, and then he felt a sudden anger. Was she doing this on purpose? Did she have to be so beautiful and seductive on the day he was going to tell her something that might end their relationship? Kaori frowned at him and glanced down at her clothes.

"Excuse me?" she asked, sounding a little upset.

Sousuke let out a groan. Kaori was leaning forward to dry her hair and he could partially see down the neckline. His face flushed red and he turned around, facing the wall so that he didn't have to look at her. "Shit, I'm going to get a nosebleed," he mumbled. "Can't you… wear something else?"

Kaori blinked at him and frowned. He wasn't even looking at her. "I don't have anything else. I didn't come here planning to spend the night, so I only have what clothes I bought at the malls today. I tried to borrow something from Gou but her clothes don't fit me, she's slimmer." When Sousuke didn't respond, Kaori sighed. She left the towel hanging on a chair and then slid under the covers of the bed. "Here. I'm under the covers. You can turn around now."

Sousuke turned around hesitantly and sighed. Kaori's legs were under the covers, but he could still see the neckline. She was blushing and avoiding his gaze. "Can I turn down the lights?" he asked quietly. Maybe then he wouldn't look at her and get so distracted. If he had to look at that pink nightie, then there was no way he'd be able to say anything about his shoulder.

"Yeah. Okay. I'll find a good movie," Kaori mumbled. She grabbed the remote and began flipping through the options, as Sousuke found a small knob that would dim the lights. He came back to the bed and slid under the covers with her, stiffening slightly when Kaori snuggled into his side. "What about this movie?" she asked. "I've never seen it before, it seems like a sci-fi…"

Sousuke took a deep breath. He could feel the warmth of her body pressed against his side and the gentle scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils. This is too much for me, he realized quietly. "Kaori."

"Hmm?"

"There's something we have to talk about."

"Eh-oh! I've been wanting to watch this one for a long time! This girl at cram school told me about it! It's supposed to be this psychological thriller sort of thing, but it's a bit of fantasy too, basically there're… but I shouldn't spoil it for you. Should we watch it?" Kaori asked eagerly. Her head tilted up to face his and her big purple eyes looked up at him. She blinked when Sousuke was silent. "What? Oh- sorry, were you saying something?"

"Nothing," he mumbled. He took a deep breath and rested his head on top of hers, pressing his cheek to her damp hair. "Just start the movie."

The movie played, but Sousuke couldn't pay attention. His heartbeat was thudding and he wondered if Kaori could hear it. The actors moved their mouths, but he couldn't hear the words. He sat there for a long time, feeling nothing but the weight of Kaori's head on his shoulder. After a while, Kaori glanced up at him and saw that his eyes were closed. She sighed and paused it. "Hey," she whispered. Sousuke snapped his eyes open to look at her in surprise. "Did you fall asleep?"

"No, I'm awake," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry. You must be really tired and you have to swim tomorrow," she apologized sheepishly. "You don't have to watch this with me, you can go to sleep if you want-"

"It's fine, I'm not tired."

"Sousuke-"

"I'm fine," he reassured her gently. He placed a hand on her cheek and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. Kaori hesitated for a moment, before wrapping her own arms around his neck. She pulled him down and deepened the kiss. Their bodies were flush against each other and in one fluid moment, Sousuke pulled Kaori onto his lap. She gasped when she felt his hardness against her. It made Kaori's heartbeat race and she kissed him harder, fisting her hands into his hair and pressing her body against his.

Sousuke could feel his mind go blank. Kaori was in his arms, wearing that revealing pink nightie and kissing him desperately. His breath constricted and he wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the feel of the soft cloth and the occasional bare skin under his fingers. Her chest was pressing against his and she kissed him harder, her thigh brushing his hardness. "Excited, huh?" Kaori mumbled against his lips. Her cheeks were flushed, but her purple eyes were shining. Her hands ran smoothly down his chest, sliding under his shirt to feel his torso.

"Kaori-" Sousuke's voice was broken. Kaori was kissing his jawline and his neck, moving steadily lower. He couldn't breathe. His body refused to move, except in order to pull her closer. The feeling of her soft lips was driving him crazy. "Kaori-no-stop."

Kaori giggled. "Are you sure?" she teased, her breath hot on his neck. Her leg brushed his erection against and Sousuke stiffened, before forcing him to reach out and grab her shoulders, gently pushing him away. His mind was screaming at him. The sight of the usually shy, innocent Kaori being so seductive was right in front of him, but the crushing guilt had also appeared. You can't do this to her. She's acting this way because she doesn't know.

"Kaori- Kaori, I'm sure," he said, gently pushing her away as she tried to kiss him again. "We need to talk about something first."

Kaori froze. Her purple eyes were inches away from his and a brief expression of horror passed across them. Sousuke wasn't even sure that he'd seen it when she lunged forward and kissed him again. Her hands clutched at his shirt desperately. "Not now," she whispered. "We'll talk some other time."

"Kaori…" Sousuke whispered in surprise. He forced himself to gently push her away again. "Kaori, no. Now."

Kaori leaned away. There was a short moment when she just stared at him, and then she hurriedly scrambled off his lap. Her cheeks were flushed. "Okay, sorry. I'm just going to the bathroom, I'll be back in a few-"

"Kaori-"

"I don't want to hear it!" she burst out angrily. She was attempting to scramble off the bed and Sousuke released her in shock. There was a long silence as her words echoed around the room. Kaori had turned her back to him and she was sitting on the edge of the bed. He could only see her shaking shoulders and back, encased in that pink nightie. Her voice was quieter and cracked when she spoke again. "I don't want to hear it."

Sousuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "But I have to say it-"

"No, you don't. It's fine, nothing's wrong, let's just pretend-"

"Kaori."

She fell silent.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and shivered. Her breathing was ragged and she wrapped her arms around herself. When she spoke, her voice was cool and clear. It sent a chill down Sousuke's spine. "You're not going to college in Tokyo with me."

She knows. Sousuke felt his heart skip a beat. "Who told-"

"I might be a little naïve, Sousuke, but I'm not at idiot," Kaori snapped. Her voice was cold and distant, nothing like the gentle way she had been cooing his name while she kissed him just a few seconds ago.

Sousuke swallowed. He had prepared an entire speech, but he hadn't been prepared for this. The words fumbled out of his mouth. "I didn't get scouted. I lied to you. I'm not going to any University."

He could hear Kaori taking a deep breath.

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"I overworked myself when I was at Tokitsu and I injured my shoulder. It's permanently damaged. My swimming career is over. That's why I left Tokyo and came back to Iwatobi in the first place." Sousuke took a deep shaky breath. He wished that she would look at him. It was painful, speaking to her back. "I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry? You're sorry?" Kaori asked, almost hysterically. She turned around to look at him and Sousuke saw her red eyes flash. She was trembling. "You mean that every time I mentioned Tokyo, you knew that there was no hope of a future. You've known all year. And you led me to believe that nothing was wrong? I was dreaming of a future that had no chance of coming! Did you ever think, for half a moment, that maybe you should cut short my ramblings about all the things we were going to do in Tokyo and tell me that it wasn't going to fucking happen?"

Sousuke closed his eyes. "Your exam. I didn't want-"

"I know! I know what you thought!" Kaori yelled. She scrambled off the bed and stared at him accusingly. "You didn't think I was emotionally stable enough to take it! You thought 'this stupid girl is going to screw up her exam if I tell her'. You thought I would ruin the exam or I would decide that I didn't want to go to Tokyo."

Sousuke frowned. His own hands were trembling. "Wouldn't you have? You admitted it to me yourself; after the day I broke up with you, you wondered why you were even studying! Are you telling me that there's no chance you would have given up your exam if you had known!"

"Of course I might have given it up! But that would have been my choice to make! You had no right to make that decision for me!" Kaori cried furiously. Her hands grabbed for a pillow and she threw it at him roughly. Sousuke flinched. "I hate you. Get out."

He froze for a moment. "What?"

Kaori was shaking and her breathing was ragged. She was glaring at him with red eyes. "You heard me. I don't even want to look at you right now. J-just get out."

Sousuke was still for a long moment. He pushed aside the pillow that had landed on his chest and scrambled off the bed, heading towards the door. He opened it and paused, glancing back at Kaori. She was standing still near the bed, her arms wrapped around herself and her shoulders trembled. "Kaori, I love you. Whatever I did, I did because of that."

Kaori shook her head. "Just go," she choked out, holding back a sob.

She heard the door click quietly behind him.

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"Hey. Where have you been all evening? I didn't even see you after my race," Rin commented lightly when he opened the door to the hotel room and saw Sousuke standing on the other side. It was late at night, and Sousuke stared at him blankly, before pushing past him and entering the room. Rin frowned. "How rude… oye! I'm talking to you!"

Sousuke sat on the edge of his bed, his back to Rin. "I don't want to talk," he replied, his voice strained.

Rin paused for a moment. Clearly something was wrong. He didn't know if he should say something. Rin stared at Sousuke for a moment and wondered what could have shaken him up so badly. Where had he been all evening? Hadn't Sousuke said something about going to pick up Kaori after her exam? "It's Kaori, isn't it?" Rin asked quietly. "Did you tell her about your shoulder?"

Sousuke turned his head slightly. His blue-green eyes were hard. "She kicked me out. I don't blame her, but she wasn't herself. She shouldn't be alone right now. Will you go check on her? She'll only get more upset if I go."

Rin's eyes widened. Check on a sobbing and distressed girl? He wasn't sure if he could handle something like that, even if it was for Sousuke. More than likely Rin would end up crying himself. "I'll go get Gou," Rin replied, quickly hurrying out of the hotel room to find his sister. Sousuke let out a deep breath as Rin left him alone and buried his face in his hands.

Had he made a huge mistake?

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