Last time on Hidden Bars (chapter 9: Love):
"You don't seem fine," she said gently, leading forward towards Gohan.
"You don't either," he whispered, and as soon as he said it and saw the look in her eyes he regretted it.
"I saw you dancing," Gohan said, as he watched her eyes open, "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't want to hide it from you anymore, but you're beautiful when you dance."
"How do you do it?" He whispered, "How do you get to your full powerlevel without fighting?"
"Your power doesn't have to be used for violence, if you want you can use it for a lot of things. I just like to dance, so that's what I use my power for when I am not fighting."
"I don't understand!" Gohan yelled, standing up, " I don't understand how you can use your power for something good. I could never do anything good with what I have deep inside. It's only used to hurt, to destroy, to kill... Nothing good ever comes out of what I have."
"I'll teach you," she whispered, her fingers in his hair, "I'll teach you how to use your power for something beautiful."
And before Gohan could say another word, AJ brought his lips to hers and kissed him. It was her first kiss, and by the way his lips trebled she could tell this was his first kiss too. It made her happy, that this simple thing to everyone else would now mean the world to them both.
Hidden Bars
Hate
-Son Akito
Gohan sighed deeply. Gohan and AJ were training for weeks now, but Gohan could not get the concept to use his powers for good. They would perform her dance, but each time Gohan tried to raise his power level it only reminded him of all the hate that he suffered.
The saiyan would begin to power up, and when that happened he thought about the collar, he thought about how it restricted him of his power level and how badly he needed to reach it. He thought about Vanlash and his gang, and it caused him to be even angrier. All the twisted pain that was inside of him could not be passed.
As far as he could remember—which wasn't much past his kidnapping—all he could remember is his power being used for hate.
"Get angry Gohan!" A voice yelled at him, which sounded so familiar to him, "Get angry and reach your full potential."
He'd listen to that voice because he knew that voice was right, the only way he could reach his full power is if he did get angry. He was remembering again. He was remembering all the built of pain, and it didn't begin four or five years ago when Vanlash stole him, it began far before that.
AJ would watch him, at first he would be fine at a normal state, but once his hair color changed to a solid gold and his eyes glazed over to a bright green that is when all their training went to waste. She could see his teeth clench, his body shake, his eyes fluttered with wild ideas.
"Gohan," she shouted, "Don't lose control. Don't get angry."
He couldn't listen to her. That voice that rung in his ear wouldn't let him, "Gohan!" The voice screamed, "Let it all out, let all your anger out."
He was doing it; he was reaching sky rocking power. AJ eyes widen, each time Gohan powered up it seemed like he was reaching untamable heights, each time he was stronger, How strong are you? She wondered.
His hair would stand up straight; his muscles would increase in size, electric energy sparked all around him. If the Princess did not know any better it was as if he reached a new stage to his power.
"You can do it," AJ commented as calmly as she could, this power that she sensed was hard to shallow. She could understand the fear of his victims, "You can do it without all the hate that run though you. Calm down."
Gohan tried to listen to her, but getting to this stage was hard. It was hard to be at this state when…
And suddenly, it hit him. The last time he was at this form was against Cell.
He could remember it all. He remembered the reason he was able to reach this power, he was able to remember the cost of this power. He lost everything because of it.
All the details and the faces were still a blur to him, but the feeling that ran though his body remembered. Soon his mouth remembered as he whispered his enemy's name over and over again.
AJ stepped closer to him, "What are you…" She stopped, watching as Gohan's twisted hated face turned into hurt. Who was this Cell he was talking about? His power was starting to lower. It was getting lower and lower until he defused out of super saiyan, and soon his power became nothing until he fell to the ground.
"GOHAN!" AJ cried, running towards Gohan, but by the time she reached him he was curled up in a little ball. AJ was shocked, normally when Gohan remembered something he was in a zoned out state. He'd hardly make any movements or shed a tear.
Yet, now the teenager was curled up in a ball before her, his eyes shut tightly as the tears were beginning to form. His body started to shake.
She bent down next to him, yet before she was able to touch him he spoke.
"I-," he gasped, "Can't. Do. It."
"Do what?" She asked gently, still unsure if she should touch him or not.
"I can't do that again," a single tear ran down his cheek, "I can't remember again."
"Remember what?" She begged, she so desperately needed to understand him.
"Cell," he opened his eyes, staring at the ground, "Cell," he slurred his name. The name that truly changed everything for him.
"I think we should stop," AJ said, as she placed her hand softly on Gohan's back, "We can start again tomorrow."
"Princess, can I talk to you," Eva asked softly after the four of them had enjoyed dinner together. Gohan was unusually quiet this night, as he picked at his food.
"What's wrong Eva?" AJ asked, Eva only called her Princess when something was wrong.
"What's going on between you and Gohan?"
"Nothing!" AJ proclaimed a little too quickly, Eva stared her down as AJ took in a deep breath, "We're just training together, that's all."
"He's already a fighter and so are you," Eva proclaimed, "What are you training for?"
"It's none of your concern," AJ said with authority in her tone, she never spoke to Eva like that, and from then on Eva knew not to bring it up again.
AJ walked away from Eva just then. She loved Eva like a sister, but sometimes her over-protectiveness was a little too much.
She knew the risks she was taking with Gohan even though Eva did not know. Eva and Hazuki don't know anything about Gohan and his past, and she wanted it to stay that way. Gohan didn't open up about his visions or his past with anyone, but just hearing that name today gave her hope that one day he could share a little bit more with her.
Cell… She never had heard of that name before. He was not a member of Vanlash and his crew. Maybe it was someone from his old world. She wished she knew but she had no idea how to find out.
Maybe one day he'd tell her.
AJ kept walking until she walked past Gohan's room; she saw his door slightly open and peeked inside.
Gohan was staring outside the window; his back was to her so she straighten up her body and leaded her head inside. She watched as the moonlight reflected off his face, how beautiful and painful he looked, she couldn't help but to wonder what it would feel like to have him close to her.
Her body was giving off a little bit of heat and enough for Gohan to turn his head slightly back to see AJ standing at the door frame.
"Princess," he said as his eyes widen, wondering how long she was standing there.
"May I come in?" She asked.
"Of course," he stepped away from the window and to the door as she walked in.
"Please close the door," she asked as Gohan reached for the door and closed it softly behind him.
"I wanted to talk to you about today," she said, not sure if she should sit down on her bed or stand up. Gohan stiffened his body, unsure how to react to her.
"I think there is something that you must do to continue on with our training," she softly spoke, wondering what she was about to say would be prying too much into his personal life, "I think you need to find someone to talk to about your past."
Gohan blinked for a few seconds, "Do you want me to talk to you?" He asked softly.
She ran her fingers though her hair, "If you want to that is fine, but if you want too—"
"I don't think I could talk to anyone else," he said, moving away from the door frame, "Yet," he said softly, as if he was speaking to himself and not her, "I'm not sure I could tell you either."
He looked down at the floor.. He remembered how he reacted to that memory and it made him sick. He was suppose to be able to protect her, yet after she saw him in such a state how could she believe that he was able too.
"Gohan," she said softly, wishing that he would look up at her. Yet when he didn't respond to his name she sat down on the bed. She waited a few seconds before saying, "Sit down, please."
He sat down next to her as ordered, yet he was unable to look at her. He wished he hadn't worried her. She was going to become a Queen soon; surely she had much bigger problems to worry about.
She didn't say another word; instead she softly grabbed his hand. He looked over at her as she softly pulled his hand to her cheek, letting his long fingers run along her cheek. She blushed at such a state of affection, but there was something about Gohan that drawled her to him. Ever since she kissed him, she had an overwhelming need to protect him.
He watched as his hands touched her soft face, and quickly drew his hand away. He knew if he told her anything that she would walk out of his room without a second thought. He was a monster. He had killed hundreds of people; he had destroyed millions of homes. There was no love for a being like him, there was only hate.
"Oh Gohan," She pleaded, wishing that he wouldn't reject her. She wanted to touch him; she wanted to tell him that she wouldn't turn her back to him, that she would be there for her. Yet the words couldn't form. She wasn't if he'd believe it.
He turned away with such hurt that a tear rolled down her cheek. AJ gazed up at Gohan's stern face as he turned his head away from her. She watched as the moonlight grabbed a hold of him and formed a halo of light around him. He was so beautiful.
When she covered her face with her hands, tears escaping in between her fingers, Gohan turned to her with such anguish. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Why was she crying for him?
He didn't even know what he was doing, and without a thought Gohan pulled her too him. She cried into his chest, she wanted to understand him. She needed to understand him. Never before had she been around someone that could understand what pain was. She knew it far too well and that was why she was able to see his pain when he was able to hide it so well from everyone else. She wanted to understand him; she wanted him to be her friend.
Their bodies moved together as they laid down on the bed side by side, His arms were still around her as her back was to him. He held his close to his chest, not wanting to let her go. There was something about her that he had felt a connection with. There was something about her that he was able to cry in front of her.
The tears started to overflow his eyes and he softly cried into her hair. He wanted to tell her everything but he was so afraid to do so. She was so caring and soft that he didn't want to do anything to upset that. He didn't want to tell her and have her hate him. He would simply die if she hated him.
They both stayed holding onto each other, crying into each other's arms until the night over took them, and soon they both gently fell asleep under the soft light of the moon.
