Chapter 4

Sam looked out of the window as the plane glided through the clouds. Clear Falls, he thought, been so long almost a year now. He went MIA and now after 11 months 20 days in he was finally coming back. The mission had its toll on him he looked at his bandaged hand neatly wrapped in an elastic bandage. He was excited to go home and see his brother again. And yes Castiel too, 'Castiel Novak' he said to himself.

He still remembered when he had first met him like it was yesterday-

It was a rainy night in Chicago. He was walking back home when he heard the unruly cackles of bunch guys on the other side. There was a blonde fellow with two other guys laughing loudly. There was another one walking a little behind the group hands in pocket and a hat drawn down. Theatergoers or pub hoppers, Sam thought, looking at the group. Sam saw a black Audi driving down and the laughing group went silent and looked at the approaching car. One man poked his head out of the car and the blonde one on the street yelled, "Cassie move back!" Sam saw that the quiet one at the back of the group instead of moving behind ended up coming in the middle of the street. Sam saw the speeding car towards him and heard gunshots. He lunged to save the fellow and they both landed on his side of the street. The car swerved past them out of control and crashed on a light pole few meters ahead. Sam saw that the guy underneath him was looking away from him at something to his left with his mouth open. He followed his startled gaze and saw that the blonde guy and his friends lying in the sidewalk. The blonde guy was shot on his forehead. Sam got up and the fellow underneath him rushed towards the blonde guy. He picked up the guy's head into his lap and yelled loudly. It was a shrill cry from a man who had just lost everything. He began to weep loudly and he looked at Sam through his tears and said "help... Please help"

"You know the woods offer privacy and cool shade too," Castiel said smiling at the couple that he found making out when he had gone to place the books back. The boy and the girl quickly dressed up and looked at him pleadingly at him so that he will not tell their folks, Cas merely smirked and the two scampered off. Just then his phone buzzed and he saw that it was Dean.

"Dean," he said.

"I really hate the new phones with caller id's. There's no element of surprise anymore," he said sounding a little disappointed.

"Dean, do you have some work or is it one of those calls which start off innocently but then becomes a sex chat. If it is then I won't be able to entertain you I'm hanging up. I'm just closing the library" he said waving at the last person signing out.

"Well now that that idea has been shot down let me ask the second most important thing on my mind. What's for dinner? I'm hungry?" he asked gruffly.

"Sex and food, is that all I am good for?" Castiel chastised.

"Well you're good for a great many things but these two are your high points and how can I forget that sexy guitar yours" Dean complimented slyly.

Castiel blushed and then cleared his throat and said "hmmm, well if you hang up I'm planning on going home and cooking that duck that Bobby dropped by in the morning"

"Mmmmm I'm hungry already. Okay, I won't keep you waiting. I can see my blood sugar dropping too" Dean said with a hint of naughty in his voice. Castiel rolled his eyes and said, "fine I'll make the pie too...Tubby" Castiel said smiling.

"Shut up" and Dean hung up.

Dean saw his image in the mirror and saw the silhouette of a very small of a beer belly forming. "Dammit Cas," he said. The evening had crept slowly on the town of Clear Falls. The sky was pink and one could see the half-moon in the sky. The last three months had been the most wonderful years of his life. As Dean picked up his hat, he heard a jeep being pulled in. He moved out of his office to see Garth coming in with a goofy smile. It was his day off and seeing him here in his beach shirt and sweat pants got Dean worried.

"Sheriff you are not gonna believe, who I ran into" Garth said barely trying to control his excitement. Dean did a master eye roll; Garth had a reputation of making mountains out of molehills. Just then the door to the station opened up and Dean lost his breath. The tall and sturdy frame of Sam Winchester came into the station with that same goofy smile and moist eyes. Dean couldn't believe what he was seeing, his baby brother standing there looking at him with those lovely hazel eyes. Sam just stood there relieved to see Dean after almost a year of absence. Dean crossed the distance between them and both the brothers hugged each other tightly. He felt something cold on his cheeks and realized that both their faces felt moist with tears had rolling down both their cheeks.

"Oh my God," Jody said behind them. They broke their hug to look at her. "Sam..." she said pulling him into another hug.

Castiel reached home and decided not to change but start making dinner first. He hung his coat and went into the kitchen. Removed the duck from the fridge, chopped some onions and smashed some garlic. He braised the duck with all these ingredients with some spices and olive oil. He put that into the oven to cook. He then turned his attention to pie now. He knew there were cherries in the house and began to search for them. After an hour of laboring in the kitchen both the duck and pie were in the oven. He went up changed into a blue superman t-shirt (Dean's choice) and sensing a cool breeze put another shirt on. He wondered what was keeping Dean so long; he was supposed to be here an hour ago. But then one couldn't really stick to time in this town, you could bump into someone you knew and it could take you an hour. He wondered if Dean was getting ice cream. It would go so well with pie, his mind then drifted to the other things that Dean had done to him with ice-cream, two nights ago. When their food fight ended up with Cas having the best sex of his life and oddly smelling of vanilla and chocolate afterward. That was the fun of living with Dean Winchester; Castiel was living his fantasies that he would have never confessed to himself.

He smiled to himself and then he heard a knock on the door. Castiel almost jumped from his seat and went to open the door. "Finally, you're home..." he fell quiet as he saw the tall figure of Sam Winchester standing there with one bandaged hand. He pulled him close and planted a kiss on his shocked yet parted lips. Castiel resisted at first and then hugged him tighter. He was glad that Sam was alive and back. It felt like a heavy weight seemed to be lifted up his shoulders. Sam broke the kiss and said, "God I missed you Castiel" he said looking into his eyes. Castiel looked away and saw Dean standing behind him with the bags in his hands. All color from Castiel's face vanished as he saw the broken look on Dean's face. Had he betrayed Dean once again?

"Come on guys let's keep it moving," Dean said looking away from Castiel. Sam came in and saw the house that was amazingly clean and smelled of freshly cut daisies.

"Wow, Dean this place looks great," Sam said appreciatively.

"What can I say Cas is a real good housemate," Dean said placing the bags on the couch.

Castiel just walked into the kitchen without saying a word to hide the tears were stinging at his eyes. He swallowed his emotions and yelled out "I'll get dinner" trying to explain his sudden exit.

He pulled out the roast and made the sauce. "I'm sorry there's no salad," Castiel said placing the duck and the sauce and Sam smiled at him, pressed his hand.

"I'm just glad to have this meal with you. And I think Dean picked up a few things on our way here" Sam said looking at Dean's bag on the couch.

Castiel looked around to see that Dean wasn't there and looked into his bag to see that Dean had picked up some mash potatoes and a big salad from the diner. He also saw the cushioned handcuffs and he merely closed his eyes.

Dean stood under the warm shower. This isn't how he had imagined how his day would end. It was the most amazing day and the most gut-wrenching day of his life. But then somewhere in the back of his head, he knew that his brother would come back. He was exhilarated to see his baby brother standing there with those puppy eyes looking at him. Then reality hit home when they reached home and Sam said to him "I'm so excited to see Castiel". He sprinted over to Dean's house and Dean picked up his bags followed him. That's when he saw the two of them kissing. He opened the door of the shower and smelled the amazing duck that Castiel had cooked for him. He put on his t-shirt and sweats. He came down to see that Sam and Castiel were seated next to each other. He was stroking Castiel's cheek and that's when Dean cleared his throat. Castiel moved away from Sam.

He looked up "oh…hey you're finally done. I must say that Castiel has been cooking up a storm here. Though I'm amazed at this, cos, when we were together there, was hardly any cooking"

"He had no option, the town has, all in all, two restaurants," Dean said serving himself some duck.

"So Sammy, you wanna fill us in as to what happened?" Dean inquired in a fatherly tone.

"Uhm..." Sam looked down and cleared his throat. Dean raised his eyebrow and Castiel pressed Sam's hand. He squeezed back and said "me and my buddy Stephen were sent in for a spec ops mission in Kandahar. It was simple mission we had to go down and destroy the poppy field at the base of the mountain. We went down there only to find that it was also a spot where they prepared the finished goods. I wanted to abort, but that stupid Amel just went ahead and changed the mission..."

He held back his tears and went on "he stepped in closer to the mouth of the cave and was...stepped on a damn mine" he said rising up and leaving the dinner table. Castiel looked at Dean furiously and he looked back at him with confusion. Castiel rolled his eyes and said, "couldn't you wait?"

"I didn't know that this had happened..." Dean explained himself.

"He was in a war zone Dean what did you think happened?" Cas said cutting him off. Dean exasperatedly put a hand over his face.

"Go talk to him" Cas chastised him.

Dean went to check on Sam and he had opened the back door overlooking the small pool that Dean and Cas had created over the last summer. Sam was sitting there hanging his legs inside the water.

"This is nice," Sam said looking at the clear reflection of himself in the pool water.

"Yeah took some elbow grease from me and some bossing by Cas...Castiel" Dean checked himself.

"I'm sorry for that" Sam was still looked down into the reflection in the pond.

"Hey, I knew that you wanted to say a lot. And you don't have to hide from your brother no matter how bad it is" Dean said pulling Sam towards. Sam placed his head over Dean's shoulder and intertwined his hands with Dean's.

Castiel looked onto the two of them while putting the dishes into the soapy water of the sink. He realized that they were so close to each other and were pretty much the only real family they had. He had somehow come between them. Or had he, he was still not sure how Dean felt about all this. Would Dean simply give him up? Should he make Dean choose? Hadn't Dean already chosen? He turned away from the sink and went to the fridge. He saw the half empty bottle of wine and opened it and took a large sip from it. As he began to take another sip his eyes landed on the pie that he had made. He finished his drinking and cut the pie into 2 pieces some cream and went outside to join the boys. As he came towards the boys, Dean straightened up and looked at him. "You made pie" he smiled at him.

Sam raised his head from Dean's shoulder and looked at the plate Cas handed him. He pulled Castiel to sit next to him.

"Mmmmm God this is so good," Dean said taking a bite from his plate.

Castiel looked away from Sam to hide his blush. Sam tugged at his shirt to make him look back at him. As Castiel turned around Sam looked deeply into his blue eyes and said "God I missed you so much"

"Me too" Castiel smiled.

Dean got up and said, "I need to call Bobby" and left them together leaving the plate of half-eaten plate of pie. Cas looked at his receding figure of Dean and then Sam's face blocked his view. He looked down to see that Sam had trapped him by placing his two hands on either side. Sam now leaned down onto Castiel. He instinctively put his hand on Sam's chest and said "Uhm Sam..."

His speech was cut short when Sam just pushed his tongue down Castiel's throat.

Dean woke up looked at the watch on his bedside table. He took the beer bottle which was empty next to the watch. It was 7.30 and he needed to get ready for the station. As he turned his head towards the other side of the bed he realized that it was empty and the reality of losing Cas became more apparent. Pushing the thoughts of regret away Dean got up, he went out towards the bathroom at the far end of the corridor. As he was about to open the door, it was opened from the inside and he saw Cas coming out wearing nothing but a towel. Cas looked away from him and was trying to walk past him. Something took over Dean and he cornered Cas back inside. He closed the door behind him and he looked up. Dean saw that he had a bruised lip and there were marks on his torso and hands. He took Castiel's hands and asked, "What the hell is this?"

"I think Sam might have PTSD," Cas replied flatly. Dean was surprised to hear his tone. "Did he do this?" Dean asked still not believing that Sam could hurt Cas. "Are you okay?" he continued when Castiel continued to merely stare down.

Castiel looked up and Dean saw pain and hurt in his eyes. But there was something else too; there was longing in his eyes for…him. Dean couldn't hold back anymore and he pulled Cas into a hug. Dean felt something wet on his shoulder. He pulled Cas away to see that he was crying silently. Dean held his face in his hands.

"D, I...he..." he tried to speak but he was too busy trying to hold back the tears which were choking him now.

"Shhh it's okay" Dean consoled him. Somewhere Dean did not want to know what had happened. He knew that he would not like it.

"It seemed like he hated me...he wanted to rip me apart," Castiel said becoming dead-eyed again. "Do you think I deserved this? I didn't stop him Dean…cause, in a part of my mind, I knew I deserved it". Dean pulled him even closer and began to stroke his hair. Castiel looked at him and said "Dean kiss me"

Dean hesitated for a moment but then he looked at the bruised lower lip. It quivered letting him know that he needed to make him feel good about himself. Heck, Dean needed to feel him, the fact that he might never be able to kiss these lips again made him feel hollowed out. He closed his eyes and leaned into kissing him. It was a chaste kiss at first; Cas slipped out of Dean's arms to put his arms around Dean's neck and weaved his one hand into his short hair. He pulled Dean into a deeper kiss as he opened his mouth. Cas smelled of soap and mouthwash. Dean realized how much he had been holding back and how much he had been missing Cas. Dean pushed him on a wall behind him.

As they pulled away to catch a breath Cas said "we shouldn't". Castiel looked at him with hunger and guilt in his eyes.

"Yes, we shouldn't," Dean said pulling him back in for another the hungry kiss. Dean wanted him; he somehow could just not accept his fate. That he was losing Castiel once again and, this time, he won't be back. In fact, Dean could not expect him to come back, Sam was his brother. But having Castiel trapped in the middle of his arms, the feel of his warm mouth under his tongue just felt right.

Castiel's hands were desperately trying to touch some part of Dean's warm smooth skin. Meanwhile, his hands lingered on the edge of Castiel's towel. As his two fingers made their way inside his towel Cas moaned into his mouth and pushed himself closer Dean. Castiel found his hands inside Dean's t-shirt. Dean jerked the towel off and Castiel moaned once again in his mouth. They broke the kiss and Cas said, "don't let me go... Fuck me".

He bit his lip and sending Dean closer to the edge. He dropped his pants and Cas climbed onto him. Dean reached for the cabinet right next to moaning Cas. He pulled out the lube and condom. "no... I wanna feel... You" Dean doused the lube on his hand and his groped ass. He kissed Cas so as to stifle his moans that were growing louder. Castiel's ass eagerly took in the two fingers that were circling his hole. Castiel broke the kiss and said 'want...you...inside...now". Dean pushed him against the wall and slid inside Cas, pressing soft kisses on his smooth skin. Dean's palms clutching Cas's cheeks and pulling them apart so that he could thrust all the way in till his balls slap against his ass. Cas whimpered at every thrust, holding on to Dean like he would never let go. Dean's legs were giving out as moved closer to the edge of ecstasy; he saw the furry floor mat on the bathroom floor. "Cas…floor", he saw Castiel open his eyes which were dilated. He got down and spread himself on the floor mat. As Dean knelt down, he saw that Cas himself was sporting an erection, "Dean….please…now". Castiel was writhing on the floor; Dean pushed his legs apart and once again entered him. Castiel stretched his arms to pull Dean back into his arms. Castiel wanted to feel his weight on him, he wanted to feel secure again, he wanted to be with DEAN…he was enjoying this last moment and holding on to whatever of Dean he could hold on to. As they were moving, pressing and holding on to each other as the edge seemed closer, Dean lowered his one free hand and placed it on his pulsing erection. Castiel dug his fingers into Dean's back. He began to stroke it, "Please….Don't stop….please" Castiel was pleading to him. Dean knew he was going to come and he looked at Castiel underneath him. Lips parted, moving, moaning, he seemed like someone who was no longer on this plane of existence. "Cas.." Dean said in his gravelly voice and Castiel opened his eyes, to look at him. The blue of his eyes pulled at Dean's heartstrings "Kiss me babe". With this, they came together stifling each other's deep moans into each other's mouth as they kissed.