Chapter 57: Standing

When the night has come / And the land is dark / And the moon is the only light we see / No, I won't be afraid / Oh, I won't be afraid / Just as long as you stand / Stand by me / So darling, darling stand by me / Oh, stand by me / Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me
If the sky that we look upon / Should tumble and fall / Or the mountains / Should crumble to the sea / I won't cry, I won't cry / No, I won't shed a tear / Just as long as you stand / Stand by me / So darling, darling stand by me / Oh, stand by me / Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me
Whenever you're in trouble / Won't you stand by me, oh, stand by me – Ben E. King (Stand By Me)

Oh, why you look so sad/ Tears are in your eyes / Come on and come to me now / Don't be ashamed to cry / Let me see you through / 'Cause I've sent the dark side too / When the night falls on you / You don't know what to do / Nothing you confess / Could make me love you less / I'll stand by you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad / Don't hold it all inside / Come on and talk to me now / Hey, What you got to hide/ I get angry too / Well I'm a lot like you / When you're standing at the crossroads / And don't know which path to choose / Let me come along / 'Cause even if you're wrong / I'll stand by you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you / Take me in, into your darkest hour / And I'll never desert you / I'll stand by you
And when, when the night falls on you, baby / You're feeling all alone / You won't be on your own / I'll stand by you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you – The Pretenders (I'll Stand By You)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." – Groucho Marx


Sydney looked down at Vaughn sympathetically.

"I think I've taken a small step backward in my progress," Vaughn admitted.

"I know…I think the walking was a really bad idea this early. I'm sorry honey."

"It's not your fault Sydney. I wanted to do it…now we know."

"I know, but now you're all sick again. I feel bad."

"Don't," he said pleadingly.

"Does the cloth feel good?"

"Yeah."

"Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah."

"Ok…I'm going to get dressed for bed, brush and stuff…ok? You be alright?"

"I'll be here…"

"Ok," She moved the cloth and kissed his forehead, then turned it over so it would be cool again.

She got up and went to the bathroom, got ready and came back. She ran out into the kitchen to get a morphine shot just incase and Donovan trotted with her happily, thinking he'd get to come into the bedroom.

"Sorry Donny, not tonight, Vaughn isn't feeling well…" he looked at her for a minute and then trotted off, stopping in front of the bedroom, laying down next to the door and parking it there for the night. "Good boy," she said, patting his head before she went in.

"Was I gone too long?" she asked smiling.

"You're always gone too long if you're gone at all Syd."

She smiled again as she sat down on the bed. "Do you want to just go to bed, or watch some TV, I could read to you…what do you want to do?"

"We can watch some TV…"

"Ok, I'm going to get his cold again first," she said as she moved to the bathroom again and rewet the washcloth. She turned the TV on, on her way back to the bed, turned off all of the lights, got into bed, and placed the cloth back on Vaughn's forehead. Then she snuggled closer to him, sitting up so she could hold onto him tonight. He happily let her move him, thankful for the comfort.

After about a half hour, Sydney noticed Vaughn's head dropping and knew that he was starting to fall asleep. She inched down on the bed and turned the TV off with the remote. She stayed awake for a while, making sure he settled down and then turning the washcloth again. His body was hot, but he seemed to be shivering slightly, so she cuddled more with him and pulled the blanket up to his chin before allowing herself to fall asleep as well.

She felt his stirring before she heard him and somewhere in the back of her mind, she probably knew it was coming, but she couldn't make herself believe it until it actually happened.

Vaughn bolted away from her grasp and any lingering doubt as to what was happening was shattered when he yelled. His yell was followed by an intense scream of pain.

Sydney came out of her sleep and reacted instantly, "Vaughn!" She moved to help him, but the moment she touched him, he jerked away from her. She realized instantly that the room was completely dark and silently cursed herself for not leaving the light on. In the dark, there was no way Vaughn could decipher where he was or who was touching him, especially not after a nightmare.

She moved off the bed and heard a loud thump. She jumped but reached for the light and turned it on. Vaughn wasn't on the bed. She moved around the side and saw him slumped on the floor groaning.

There was a knock at the door and Sydney could hear Will's voice on the other side, "Syd?"

She couldn't move Vaughn on her own, "Will, it's open…get in here."

Will opened the door quickly, Francie in tow. Francie let out a gasp, "Oh my God! What happened?"

Will moved over to Sydney and they moved a struggling Vaughn back on the bed.

Will looked at Sydney questioningly but she was more interested in the man who was very close to rolling off the other end of the bed again.

She sent them a glance and moved over to the other side before Vaughn fell off the other end. Once she had him in the middle of the bed again, his body went rigid.

"Shit!" she said.

"What?" Will and Francie asked.

"Give me the syringe over there on the nightstand!"

Will handed it to her and she gave Vaughn the shot in record time. Once his muscles relaxed again, he got even more scared and started writhing on the bed again.

"Cloth!" Sydney yelled.

Francie searched for it, "Where is it?"

"Get a new one!" Sydney said as Francie bolted down the hall.

Will waited patiently, unsure of what to do, "Syd…do you want me to hold him down or something."

"NO!" Sydney said forcefully, then instantly regretted it, not only did Will flinch, but Vaughn moved away from her, obviously scared of the yelling. "God, Will, I'm sorry…just…don't touch him, ok?"

"Ok," Will said quietly, staying where he was.

Francie came back in with the washcloth, handing it to Sydney. She grabbed it and placed it on Vaughn's forehead. He jerked again and made an attempt to move away, but Sydney grabbed onto him.

"Vaughn…if you were back there…would they help you? Would they do this?" she tried to keep her voice steady and even, calming.

He stilled slightly, but still moved around.

"Vaughn…it's ok…you're safe…it was just a nightmare." His body was hot and Sydney could see that most of his clothes were damp. His fever must have been really high. She looked over to her friends, who were still waiting patiently for more instructions.

"There really isn't anything else you can do…except…maybe could you get a dish of cold water…then I don't have to run to the bathroom every few minutes."

"Sure…" They both ran off to get the basin of water.

Sydney looked down at Vaughn. He was shaking and still moving on the bed.

"Vaughn…just relax…it's ok…you're safe…just a nightmare…I'm here…"

He started to cry and Sydney moved to hold onto him. Will and Francie came back in and put the basin on the nightstand. Vaughn tensed when they entered and moved away from Sydney again.

"Thanks guys…"

"Sure…let us know…" They closed the door on their way out.

"Ok…they're gone…" Sydney lay down next to Vaughn, but he jerked away.

"Hey…it's me…"

He cried for a few minutes and then said, "Sydney?"

"Yeah, sweetie I'm right here…"

"How did you get here?"

"What do you mean?" Sydney asked confused.

"Did they get you too?"

She thought a moment and then understood, "No Vaughn…they didn't get me…I'm fine…you're fine too…you're not there anymore…you're safe, at home, with me…it's just the fever honey…it's making you think you're there…"

He grabbed onto her arm, "Don't leave me…"

"I won't…I'm not going anywhere."

She moved to hold onto him tighter, turning the cloth and moving the covers up to keep him warm. She held onto him until she was sure he was asleep again and then moved away, grabbing a new set of pajamas for him. She undressed and redressed him, and he didn't wake up when she did either. She contemplated calling Tom, but it was so late, and there wasn't really anything she thought that Tom could do. She sat on the bed, scared for Vaughn and herself, turning the cloth when it needed to be turned and holding onto him when he needed to be held. She made him wake up every few hours to take more medication, but he wasn't really lucid, and she doubted he would remember in the morning.

The fever finally seemed to break at about 5:00 AM and Sydney lay down then and caught a few hours of sleep until she would have to get up with Vaughn again.

She felt him stir and wondered if this was another nightmare. She was up in a second, poised for the worst, but he just looked over at her.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"I think so…" he moved his hand to his head, "I'm all wet…"

"I know…you had a really bad fever last night, it only broke a little while ago…I was really scared there for awhile."

Vaughn looked down at the bed, "Did I have a fight in here last night?"

"Pretty much," she said.

He meant it to be a joke, but changed his tone when he saw her face, "What did I do?"

"You don't remember?"

He shook his head no.

"You had a nightmare, you were delirious, and you fell out of the bed…are you ok? I couldn't check you out last night, you wouldn't let me…I want to now, ok?"

"I fell out of the bed?"

"Yes…well rolled…I think…it was dark, I stupidly didn't leave the light on and you totally thought you were back in that room."

He watched her as she removed his clothes, sitting him up and taking the rib wrap off too. She removed every bandage, checking for a sign of more injury, but didn't find any. He stayed silent, thinking it best just to let her do it, waiting until she finished. He didn't like the way she was acting though.

"Sydney?" he asked.

She looked to him, "Yeah?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No…why would you ask that?"

"I don't know…you just seem…I don't know…"

She softened, "I'm sorry…it just really scared me…I really didn't know what to do…if you wouldn't have settled down…"

"What?"

"I don't know Vaughn."

His face clouded, "You were going to call Tom."

"Yeah, I thought about it…but it was really late…plus I didn't think he could really do anything else for you."

"Were you going to take me back?"

"To the hospital?"

"Yeah."

She was torn with what to say to him, "I honestly don't know."

His face clouded even more, but he didn't say anything in reply.

"Are you hungry?"

He didn't answer; he was totally lost in thought.

"Vaughn?"

"Hmm? What? Yeah…sure."

She looked at him for another minute and then left to make him something to eat. She came back in a few minutes with the tray.

"We should take a bath today if you feel up to it…you were really sweating last night."

"Yeah, ok…"

She didn't say anything else to him through the meal. He let her help him without protest, but he really was confused.

"Sydney?"

"Yeah Vaughn."

"I'm sorry I don't remember…if I would have known it was you…I…"

"It's ok…it was the fever, it wasn't you…ok?"

"Did I say something that made you mad?"

"No."

"Then what? What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything."

"Then why are you acting this way?"

"I'm sorry Vaughn, I didn't get a lot of sleep…ok?" she reached out to touch his face.

"No, I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault, we've been through this a million times Vaughn," Sydney said, harsher than she had meant.

He stopped taken aback at her tone. He was going to say something, but then didn't. Sydney sighed.

"Look, it was a hard night, ok? It's not your fault, and I'm not mad at you…I was just really scared, ok?"

"Yeah."

She kissed him and took the tray out of the room. When she came back, she smiled weakly. "Do you wanna take the bath?"

"Sure."

"I'm gonna get Will…I think we should hold off walking for awhile."

"Yeah."

Sydney went down the hall and knocked on Francie's door. Will flew to the door, half asleep. "Syd? Everything ok?"

"Yeah…I'm sorry to get you up this early, but can you help me get him to the tub?"

"Sure," he said shutting the door quietly so as not to disturb Francie.

He came in the room and smiled at Vaughn, but Vaughn didn't return the smile. He looked to Sydney and then back at Vaughn, and noticed that something was off.

"You feeling better Mike?" he tried.

"Yeah."

"Good…"

Sydney sat Vaughn up and they moved him to the bathroom. Will left and Sydney ran the water and then helped Vaughn out of his clothes and into the tub. "I'll be right back, ok?"

"Yeah…"