A/N; So some people asked for back-story – and since I love my reviewers so much I am giving you back-story. So this is where we get to see what happened that lead up to where we are today…I will still have the hospital stuff though, so a little something for everyone.

(Flashbacks are in italics)

9. Return to the days before

When two nurses, Olivia and Nancy wheeled Addison into a recovery room about an hour later Ben was already there. He was sitting on one of the chairs by the window with a car magazine in his lap. He was sending glances on the pages and just looked up when he heard the door open.

On the chair next to him sat Lily, she jumped down as soon as she saw the bed being wheeled into place next to the empty one from a patient had left early that same morning.

"Mommy" she grabbed the cold steel on the side of the bed and pulled herself further up so she could get a better look at Addison's face. The face that was now looking much better once it was cleaned up, just a few bruises and a swollen lower lip.

"Addison" Ben placed the magazine on the table with the others before he pulled his chair up to the side of the bed. "Addison can you hear me?" he leaned over and took her hand in his, gently placing a kiss on the bandage…

--

May 15th 2008

"Yes…yes I know I said I would go but…" Addison put her shoulder up to hold the phone while she started to collect some apples in a plastic bag and slid it into her basket. "…I know you already bought the groceries Savvy but…" her pleads seemed to go unnoticed by her friend.

Addison let her friend go on and on while she picked up some cucumber and tomatoes and then took her place in the line. "I have to work…how do you know I don't have any surgeries?" she couldn't help but laugh as she placed her basket on the table, looking up briefly. There she spotted the most stunning brown eyes she had ever seen and her heart notably did a double jump.

"Hi" he smiled.

"Hi" she returned the smile, suddenly feeling oddly like a school girl with no idea how to speak to the cool guy.

"That will be 22;50" he said she quickly broke out of her trance like stage.

"Right" she fished up her money and handed it to him, their fingers touching just quickly but it was enough to send chills up her arms.

"Oh and before I forget it maybe I could get your number?" he added with another flawless smile as he leaned closer over the table towards her.

"Sure" Addison smiled and pulled up one of her business cards and gave it to him. "Home number is on the back" she added with a smile before she grabbed her groceries and walked away to leave room for the other shoppers.

She made it a few meters before she heard Savvy talking in her cell phone. She smiled widely as she made her way towards her car. "…Yes Savvy I will be there…just give me an hour…oh and I have news…"

--

The constant beeping of the machines was all that was heard in the small recovery room. The light that before had shone in through the windows had now disappeared, leaving the room with only the flickering light in the ceiling. Lily was sound asleep on the empty bed and Ben was sitting next to her, once again with the magazine in his hands.

Addison was still asleep, according to the nurses she would be for several hours due to her medication. He had gotten a list of her injuries and was even shocked himself at how many there were. Sure he knew the bruises would be there, like always but he didn't mean to break two ribs, her wrist and to give her a concussion.

With a small sigh he glanced over at his daughter, he smiled at how sweet she looked with her red hair spread out over her back and the small thumb in her mouth. She looked just as innocent as Addison did…it surprised him how long ago it was he had seen them both so calm and at peace…

With another sig he want back to his magazine, flicking through the pages without really seeing them…

--

She had gone on a date with the mystery man from the grocery store and found out that his name was Ben. He usually worked at a publisher's office but did some extra work at the grocery store for a friend. They went on date number 2 and that followed by number 3, 4 and by date number 5 she was sure he was different from any other man she had dated. After five months he asked her to move in, sure her apartment was bigger but he liked his place…so she caved…

He slowly started to become more and more controlling, always having to know where she was at all time. She found it cute at start but that feeling soon changed…

November 21th 2008

Addison knew something was wrong the second she walked through the door. The tension in the apartment hit her like a wall. She slid off her bag in the hallway and her coat soon followed and so did her shoes. She had taken the habit of taking of her heels as soon as she got home to save her poor feet.

She walked into the living room and spotter her boyfriend sitting in his favorite arm chair, his eyes at the hockey game on TV and a beer in his hand.

"Hi honey" she bent down to place a kiss on his lips but eh turned his head so her lips landed on his cheek. "What's wrong?" she rose again and looked at him.

"Where have you been?" he didn't move his eyes from the TV screen as he spoke.

"At work and then I met Savvy and some friends for a beer at the bar down on 5th" she answered lightly as if it was no big deal.

"You shouldn't go out without me" he stated. "Haven't we talked about that?"

"Yes" she sighed. "I'm sorry but it was just one of those spur of the moment things, you know."

"Still you are my girl, you should not be out drinking with other guys" he rose from his chair and walked out into the kitchen.

"I know" she followed him and almost ran into the open fridge door. "I said I was sorry."

"Sure" he slammed the door shut and starred at her. "This is not the first time" he said and slid his finger under the lid to the new beer and the lid flew off. In a quick motion he pushed her up against the wall and held her there for a few seconds before he realized what he was doing. "…I'm so sorry" he let her go and she starred at him in shock. "I didn't mean to…I don't know what got into me…you know I love you" he kissed her quickly.

"Yeah" she nodded and he walked out of the room and she could soon hear the front door close, leaving Addison alone in the kitchen.

She grabbed her cell phone and dialed the number she knew so well. "Savvy it's me…" she felt the tears welling up and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. "I don't know what happened…one second we're fine and one second he tries to choke me…" she took another breath as she hear her friend say just what she knew she would say. "…I can't leave…" she heard Savvy answer. "…Because I am pregnant…"

--

The sounds of the room was what hit her first. The machine next to her was beeping and the sound of people walking outside. Then came the smell, the smell of hospital that she had known for so long. She tried to open her eyes and the lights hit her hard, causing her to blink rapidly, trying to the world back in focus. Her head was throbbing but she didn't really care. What she cared about was the fact that she was alone. Or actually not quite alone, she relaxed a bit as she spotted Lily sleeping on the bed next to hers…but other then her she was alone.

She moved her right hand, ignoring the pain and soon she felt the button under her fingertips and she pressed it.

The doors opened and the nurse she vaguely remembered as Olivia came in. she gave Addison a smile. "Hi there, how are you feeling?"

"I need…" Addison tried to take another breath but her chest felt as if it was on fire.

"What do you need? Should I get your husband?" Olivia asked but Addison quickly shook her head.

"Alex…I need Alex…" her voice was getting a tiny bit stronger and Olivia surely heard every word, yet she didn't understand it.

"Alex?" she asked.

"Yes" Addison nodded and Olivia had no choice but to go out of the room again to try and find Alex Karev.

--

April 5th 2013

"We're moving" Ben said as he came in to the bedroom that night.

"Why? Where?" Addison asked confused as she pulled over the covers over her daughter's body and then walked around the bed over to his side.

"I got a job offer…in Seattle…"

--

Alex hurried into the room and up to her bed, trying to not think about the bruises that made her face blue instead of that soft milky skin he was used to see on her. He took her good hand and she opened her eyes again, smiling as she saw him.

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

"No I am the one who should say that" he said with a weak smile. "I gave up on you when I shouldn't have."

"I should have told you…" she said slowly, every breath hurt her yet she knew she had to tell him now while she had a chance. "You were right…"

"I didn't want to be" he confessed just as they heard footsteps outside of the door.

Addison flinched and pulled her hand back but her eyes still met his, pleading. "Alex please…" that was all she could get out before the door opened up and Ben walked back inside…

--

Never, never let you go. Return the days we had before