A/N; This chapter was meant to go up last night but I got stuck, lol. Anyway here it is and I hope you like it.

I have in the former chapters used lyrics from 'Never let you go' but from now on I will use 'Since you've been gone' by Kelly Clarkson that a very dear reader suggested. But I don't own the song…

10. It was all pretend

"You again" Ben sighed as he spotted Alex. "Do you always work this late?"

"Actually…" Alex started but was cut off as Ben made his way over to Addison's other side and took her hand in his.

"Maybe you should leave?" Ben suggested, pulling her hand closer to himself as to show he had no business there.

"Fine" Alex took a step away and let Addison's hand slide out of his. "I have some people I need to see anyway…but I will be back" he added and gave her a smile before he walked out of the room.

"God I thought he would never leave" Ben said as he sat down on his chair. He looked back up at her and realized she was no longer looking at him, her head was tilted to the side and her eyes etched on the door where Alex had just left. "So how are you feeling?" he asked and watched how her head slowly tipped back to look at him.

"Why do you care?" her voice was slow and raspy but her eyes showed all the anger she felt inside.

"Of course I care" he gave her a sweet smile. "I love you, you know that" he added and bent down to kiss her but she turned her head, forcing his lips on her cheek instead. "What is with you, you know I only did it because you asked for it" his voice grew louder for every word.

"I want a…" she tried to get all the words out but her chest was pressing down, only allowing a small portion of air out at one time.

"A what?" Ben asked.

"A…divorce" she said it as clear as she could and she could definitely see that he heard her. The pure look of shock crossed his face.

"No you don't" he stated firmly. "You are just acting silly because of the medication you are on. You are just in pain right now…but you know that goes away and you know we're good together…right?"

"No…we're not" she replied.

"Addison…" Ben started but just then the door opened up and a nurse came in.

"Excuse me, I just need to check on her, doctor's order" she said with a small shrug and started to read off the machines.

"Great" Ben grabbed his jacket from the chair so hard that the chair fell to the floor. He stopped right beside Addison's bed and hesitated, almost as if he was not sure on what to do. "I am leaving now and you are going to miss me, you hear that? You will regret telling me to leave…maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow…but you will regret it…" he whispered the words so the nurse wouldn't hear him but he knew she did. The pure look of fear on her face was what made him leave the room smiling.

The sound of the chair falling had not just startled the nurse but it had woken up Lily. She had kept her eyes closed, hoping against all odds that she would fall back asleep but when she heard the door close she opened them.

The room was still filled with the flickering lights, making the shadows grow bigger in the corners then it had when she had fallen asleep last time.

"Mommy?" she slipped down from the bed and took the few steps over to the other bed.

"Lily" Addison smiled as she saw her daughter. She patted the side of her bed and the girl quickly climbed up and curled up close to her mommy.

"I thought you were dead" Lily whispered as more tears started to flow down her cheeks.

"I would never leave you…don't you know that?" Addison moved her bandaged hand up and carefully let her fingers slide through her daughter's hair. "…I am always here for you…"

--

Just one floor down Olivia was filing up the nights last charts by the nurses' station. The night had not only been long but busier then normal, causing her normal fast hands to move a bit slow.

"Long night?" she looked up to see a fellow nurse, Annie, leaning on the counter.

"You have no idea" Olivia let out a deep sigh as she reached for her coffee, placing it to her mouth only to realize it was much too cold to drink. "This is just not my day" she let the paper cup fall into the trash beside her.

"Then good think I am here so you can go home" Annie added with a smile. "Just catch me up on any new cases and you can sleep for another day."

"Okay" Olivia pulled up the two charts that belonged to the only two new patients. "We have a Mr. Anderson in room 379, came in with stomach pain and is set for observation until one of the day-time doctors comes" she placed the chart on the desk. "And then there is Dr. Montgomery in room…"

"Wait, Addison is here as a patient or as it is her patient?" Annie asked as she took the chart from her friend's hand.

"As a patient" Olivia answered. "And…" she leaned closer to her friend, showing what she was about to say was only for her ears. "…she looked pretty beaten up if you ask me…and she did not run into any doors…"

"Really?" Annie said thoughtfully. "So did anyone come with her?"

"Her daughter, the poor thing was terrified" Olivia answered. "The husband came in later…and from what I hear he looked pretty bad himself."

"You mean they fought?" Annie asked.

"I don't know" Olivia shrugged but her head nodded slightly. "He did have a broken nose…he was the lucky one though."

"You don't think he…?" Annie didn't have to finish the sentence, it was too obvious what she meant anyway.

"I am just saying what I saw" Olivia got up and walked around the big desk, stopping right next to her friend. "But if you ask me what I think…"

"Yeah" Annie nodded, knowing what the other was saying. "Do we take any precautions?"

"Not unless she says anything or he acts violent" Olivia said. "Though I have a feeling he might be gone."

"Why would you think that, don't you know it's never over with things like that?" Annie turned to face her friend.

"I was sent in there earlier, Dr. Karev forced me to check on her soon after he left. Anyway he was very angry that I interrupted something and he kind of stormed out…after saying something about him leaving and not coming back" Olivia answered.

"So you think Dr. Karev knows something?" Annie asked. "He just isn't the one to get too personal with patients like that."

"Well you know before you got here, they kind of had a thing" Olivia laughed slightly at Annie's shocked face.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, it was quite the gossip back then. But she left for New York and he continued his way through the nurses or doctors, whoever fell for his charm…"

"Then maybe he isn't over her…" Annie said but Olivia just laughed.

"Alex Karev is definitely not one to think of a woman for that long" she checked her watch and realized her shift was over. "So I will leave this mad house to you and I am off to bed."

"Right, thanks for the talk" Annie laughed and grabbed the files before they each walked off in a different direction…

--

"Dr. Karev" Derek looked up as he heard the door to his office open. He showed for the younger man to sit down on the chair in front of his desk. "What can I do for you today?"

"You tell me, you paged me, remember" Alex sunk down in the chair offered to him.

"Okay then, let's go right to the problem then shall we?" Derek moved the papers to a neat pile before him and placed his arms on the free space so he could lean closer to Alex. "I have known you for a long time now. I have seen you go from the awkward intern to a doctor. I know you have a record of being tough…but I also know that you would never beat up a guy like that without a reason. So tell me Alex, what was that reason?"

"I'm sorry" Alex answered. "There is no way I can just tell you that."

"You do realize that this is ground of suspension, right?" Derek continued, hoping that a threat would speed up the process but he was in no such luck as Alex just got up and pulled the ID card off his robe.

"Then I guess you have no choice" he let the card fall on to the table with a sharp, hard sound as the metal clip hit the wood.

"Alex."

"I'm sorry Dr. Sheppard" Alex turned around in the doorway. "I really am" and with that he walked out of the chief's office…

--

Here's the thing. We started out friends. It was cool but it was all pretend