Chapter 81: Seeing is Believing

"Perhaps the sea's definition of a shell is the pearl. Perhaps time's definition of coal is the diamond." – Kahlil Gibran

"Your saying to me, 'I do not understand you,' is a praise beyond my worth, and an insult you do not deserve." – Kahlil Gibran

"No law or ordinance is mightier than understanding." – Plato

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." – Galileo Galilei

"When we talk about understanding, surely it takes place only when the mind listens completely-- the mind being your heart, your nerves, your ears- when you give your whole attention to it." – J. Krishnamutri


Sydney looked over at Vaughn, "You sure you're ok with this?" she asked.

"Yeah…it's ok…"

"Ok…"

Sydney removed Vaughn's shirt, but left everything else in place. She handed him a glass of water and his last pills of the night and then sat down next to him on the bed to wait for Will.

He poked his head in a few minutes later, "You guys decent?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're not THAT bad," Sydney said.

"You are too…" Will kidded.

"Well, yeah…but not right now," she said sweetly.

She turned serious, "You ready?"

"Yeah…" Will said.

"Ok…" Sydney said, moving over to Vaughn and letting Will stand where ever he wanted.

Sydney took the rib wrap off and set it on the nightstand.

Will inhaled a breath when he saw all the bandages on the front of Vaughn and he could see the white patches all over his back too.

Sydney and Vaughn didn't really seem to notice. Sydney was too involved in what she was doing, and Vaughn was too involved in the process.

She eased him back on to the pillow, changing the bandages on his chest and abdomen first.

She looked over at Will, "You know if you really want to see…you're gonna hafta come closer than that Will."

He smiled apprehensively; "Yeah…" he moved closer to look over Sydney's shoulder as she worked.

"Do you want me to tell you we're doing?"

He shook his head, but didn't say anything.

"Ok…first we have to take off the rib wrap, which basically supports Vaughn's ribs so it's easier for him to breathe…it takes off the pressure from his lungs too…then we start with the bandages. I usually start with the ones on his chest, just because now, they're the easier ones to do…"

She grabbed the cloth she had sitting on the nightstand explaining, "Lately, with some of the wounds, the tape has been irritating his skin, so it causes him less pain if I use the washcloth."

She gently pried up the end of the tape.

Francie stuck her head in the doorframe, "Are they really gory?" she asked.

Sydney and Will turned and Vaughn looked between them over at the door.

"Well, they aren't scrapes," Vaughn said.

Francie came into the room, taking Will's hand. He held on tight, but he wasn't sure it was for her sake or his own.

"What did I miss?" Francie asked.

Will fielded the question, "First Syd takes the rib wrap off," he motioned to it on the nightstand, "that supports his ribs and takes the pressure off of his lungs…then she starts with the bandages on his chest, cause they're easier…she's using a washcloth so it doesn't hurt so much – the tape's irritating."

Sydney smiled, "Well…someone's been paying attention!"

Will smiled.

"I'm gonna keep going here…" Sydney informed them as she went back to her task with the washcloth.

She peeled the edge up and began to pull the bandage off. "Ok guys, this is gonna be the first wound you see…" she warned looking at them both.

Francie looked kind of scared, and Will's look was one of curiosity and fear all mixed into one.

"This is a surgical incision," she said as she peeled away the last bit of the bandage, "I'm really not going to change all of the bandages – because they only need to be changed once a day now, but there are a few I have to check more often…the ones irritated by the tape and the one that's infected."

Will leaned closer to get a good look at the wound. He tilted his head to see the whole view. Sydney backed up to get the Cavilon and then came back, with that and a fresh bandage in her hand.

Francie looked over Will's shoulder, not really certain she wanted to see it.

Once she saw it, she said, "It just looks like a stitched wound…like a cut…"

Sydney smiled, "Yep, this one does…that's what most of the incisions look like, because they were just surgical cuts…"

She took the foam applicator and touched up a few of the spots she missed after his bath.

"What's that?" Will asked.

"This is Cavilon™ No Sting Barrier Film, it protects the wound and also helps with the tape irritation…it's like an invisible band-aid – it keeps contaminants out but still allows the wounds to breath and ooze if they need to."

"Ooze?" Francie said hesitantly.

"We'll get to that," Sydney answered, "we're just using this for the tape irritation…this wound isn't infected."

She finished with the Cavilon and then placed a new gauze pad over the wound.

"Ok…now…we're ready to move on to your back," she said addressing Vaughn.

He nodded and helped her to sit him up.

Once he was sitting, Sydney moved to sit behind him. The other two occupants inched closer to Sydney.

"Ok, I'm gonna check a few of the smaller burns – tape irritation, before I go onto the infected one…"

They nodded and Sydney took a few of the smaller bandages off.

Francie gripped Will's hand tighter as Sydney removed a few of the small bandages.

Will looked at Vaughn's profile to check for a reaction, but there wasn't one.

Sydney grabbed the first aid cream from the nightstand and placed a small amount, gently, on each one of the burns.

"Why do those get the cream?" he asked.

Sydney continued to concentrate of the wounds, and didn't look up, but said, "Because these are burns…they'll heal faster with the burn cream…"

Francie was trying to bite her tongue, and fight back the anger that was threatening to rise in her, "What kind of person would do that?" she said, but it wasn't really a question.

Neither Vaughn nor Sydney cared to answer that question.

Sydney finished with the cream and then applied some of the Cavilon before placing new bandages over the burns.

"Ok," she started, "now comes the really good one…"

Sydney took the cloth and prodded the edge.

Vaughn moved and said, "Mmph…"

She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Easy honey…I'm sorry…" she said softly shaking her head.

Francie was practically wrapped in Will's arms; she was hiding her eyes with her hands. Will was completely silent, just taking in the whole scene.

Sydney got the edge of the bandage off and then slowly peeled. She would have warned her friends a little more, but the wound seemed so sensitive, that she was too worried about Vaughn to worry about their reactions.

Tom had been right, the TAD bandage came off much easier than a regular bandage and it didn't stick to the wound, but that didn't change the fact that the wound was still oozing, and that stuck to the bandage…so either way, it was going to cause Vaughn pain.

His eyes were closed tightly, his right hand gripping the sheet as Sydney peeled it off.

Will's eyes were transfixed on the bandage being peeled; he really had no idea what would be underneath.

Nothing prepared him for the sight underneath the bandage.

Francie moved a few fingers, peeking out, and let out a cry and followed it with, "Oh my God…" when she saw the wound as well.

Sydney could tell by the way Vaughn's shoulders were tensed that this was not a pleasant experience, "I'm sorry honey," she said, "just a few more seconds and I'll have it off…"

She didn't want to pull off anything that was needed for the wound to heal, but she wanted to end his suffering as soon as possible.

Francie moved out of the room, but no one seemed to notice. Will stayed firmly planted in his spot, his eyes trained on the wound in front of him.

She finally got the whole bandage off and set it aside. She checked it; it didn't look good, but once again, it didn't look any worse. If she had to pick one word to describe it, the word would have been: painful.

She grabbed the washcloth and dabbed over the wound, trying to get some of the puss off of it.

Vaughn groaned and moved away.

"I'm sorry baby," she said quietly.

She checked the Cavilon, which seemed to be intact and doing its job and then grabbed another one of the TAD bandages.

"Is that the seaweed one?" Will asked, finding his voice.

Sydney nodded, applying the pad gently, but it still made Vaughn groan again.

Once she had the pad secured, then she continued telling Will about it, "Yeah, it's made from Scottish seaweed. Basically, it's just more absorbent than regular bandages…so it like, sucks up all the oozy stuff, and it doesn't stick to the wound as much."

Will made a face and then asked quietly, "…was that from a whip?"

Sydney moved around him to get the rib wrap and answered shortly, "Yes."

Will watched her again as she eased the wrap over Vaughn's ribs, and noted that thankfully, the wrap didn't seem to come up to height of the infected wound.

Sydney grabbed Vaughn's tee shirt and then carefully reclined him on the pillow, positioning him again so the wound was not pressed into the pillow.

She touched his face, tracing his cheek and he smiled weakly.

"You look tired again baby," she noted, pulling the covers up as far as they would reach with him sitting up.

She placed the sling on his arm again and then seemed to finally realize that they were missing someone.

"Where's Francie?" she asked, looking at Will.

"She…uh…she left…I think it was a little much."

A moment later, Francie reentered the room, looking sheepishly at the other occupants, "I'm sorry…I want to apologize," she said taking a spot at Will's side.

Vaughn looked over and waved his hand, "There's no need to apologize…they aren't very nice to look at…"

"No, I want to…" Francie said, "I want you to know that I didn't leave because of you…or really because of the wound…I really needed to leave before I hit something…seeing that…finally, really knowing what you went through…I had to get out…"

Vaughn nodded.

Will continued, "I guess that's why I asked to see it too…I wanted to understand," he said looking at Vaughn. "It's not the same to be told…and I don't mean it to sound like I didn't believe you were tortured or anything, but if you see it for yourself, then…well…then there aren't any more questions…I mean…I still have questions…" he trailed off, not knowing what else he wanted to say.

"I really have to say though," he added, "my respect for you has shot through the roof Vaughn. I wouldn't have survived that…I really admire you…"

"Me too," Francie echoed.

Sydney smiled, "Me too…" she said smiling at Vaughn.

Vaughn was trying to keep his composure, but he was failing miserably. His brow furrowed and he said hoarsely, "Well…I don't feel very strong…and I sure didn't then either…"

Sydney moved to sit beside him and Francie sat down on the edge of the bed. Will stayed standing but moved closer to the bed.

"Listen," Francie started, "it isn't about feeling strong…does anyone? It's about getting up again…even when you don't feel strong enough to do it."

Will added, "It's about not letting them keep you there…"

"Yeah, well…I don't have a lot to do with that either," Vaughn said looking at Sydney.

She smiled and took his hand, "I'm just moral support…you do most of it on your own…"

"That's a crock!" he said, chuckling slightly.

"You could have just given up Mike," Will reminded him, "but you didn't."

"Well, I wanted to, but I knew Sydney would kick my ass…"

She gripped his hand tighter, "It's not a matter of why you didn't give up; it's just the simple fact that you didn't give up…that's enough…" She leaned over, kissing him.

Francie kissed him on the cheek and Will gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

Will smiled, "Plus, now you have us too…" he said motioning to Francie and himself, "and we'll kick your ass too…just so you know…"

Vaughn smiled, but pretty much lost it after that, and the three moved closer for one big group hug.

When they parted, Vaughn chuckled, "Well, that was corny…" but everyone could tell by the look he gave them that he had enjoyed every second of it.