For all those of you who were waiting for the Papyrus fight, it's finally here! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! The next chapter may take a little while because putting out two chapters for this story in a row is a little draining, and so I'm going to go work on a chapter for my other story.

Thank you to everyone who has left a review or decided to follow this story! I'll admit I'm nosy and I look up everyone who decides to follow, and anyone who has left a review will tell you that I always give responses to any I get. If anyone wants to PM me for feedback, ideas or just to talk, I usually respond pretty quickly so feel free to do so!

Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter :D

Chapter 3 - Bonetrousle

Breaking out of the treeline, I found myself on top of a hill. The path continued downwards into another patch of forest, but from my higher vantage point I could see a small village on the far side of the forest.

"Hmm, that must be Snowdin in the distance. Sans said he'd point me in the right direction once I arrive, so it shouldn't be too far now."

The remaining woodland was much sparser than the dark forest I had just emerged from, giving me much better vision of the path ahead. Although the distance to Snowdin didn't look too far, I could see several sentry posts dotted along the path, and from Sans's warning I was guessing that they also had guard dogs.

"That, and who knows how many more surprises Papyrus has in store for me…"

Not wanting to waste anymore time I headed off down the path.

Before long I found a large sign next to a row of spikes that lined the road ahead.

[HUMAN, SOMEWHERE IN THE SNOW I HID THE BUTTON TO RETRACT THESE SPIKES, I HOPE YOU ENJOY DIGGING]

"Great…" I thought to myself, looking at the deep snow surrounding the sides of the path, "This could take a me a while…"

[PS. AS A REWARD, I HAVE PLACED SOME OF MY FINEST SPAGHETTI ON THE OTHER SIDE. I'M SURE THIS WILL MOTIVATE YOU TO WORK QUICKLY, NYEHEHEHE!]

Sure enough, on the other side of the spikes I could see a table with a plate of 'something' on top of it. I couldn't really see what it was, but I'll admit I was curious as to what this fabled spaghetti was.

"Woof! Woof!"

I jumped as I heard the loud barking behind me. Turning around, I expected to see some sort of guard dog, but to my surprise- well it was a guard dog, quite literally. A small white dog stood before me, upright on its hind legs. In its hands it held a sword and shield, as well as wearing a set of chainmail armor.

"A dog, that is a guard, a guard dog…"

We both looked at each other expectantly, waiting for the other to make a move. After a minute of awkward silence the dog barked at me again.

"Woof!"

"Um, hello? Can you understand me?"

"Woof Woof!"

"Look, I don't want to fight you, I just need to get past here," I layed down my hammer and raised my hands slowly, "Look, I'm putting my weapon down, why don't-"

"WOOF!"

The moment I raised my hands the dog dropped onto all fours, its sword and shield clanging on the soft snow as it looked at me expectantly, its tail wagging furiously. I held my hand out towards the dog. In its excitement, the dog leapt at me, knocking me onto the ground. I giggled as the dog licked me enthusiastically.

"Wow, you're a friendly little thing aren't you!" I laughed, petting the dog in return.

I didn't realise how much of a mistake I had just made.

As I petted the dog, it got more and more hysterical, its tail going into overdrive as it barked loudly. What I didn't expect was its neck, as I petted it began stretching like it was made of elastic, lengthening rapidly a I stared in disbelief. Pinned by the dog on top of me, I was helpless as its head began to bounce around the clearing. I was rendered helpless as the madness continued, the small dog's neck extending to over 100 feet as it turned and twisted like a white fury snake.

As my face was burried into the snow by the weight of the dog, I heard a clunking sound and the sliding of metal. Straight afterwards the dog leapt off me, its neck retracting rapidly as it bounded off into the distance. I stood up and dusted the snow off of my clothes, staring at the chaos I had just caused. Snow had been thrown everywhere and Papyrus's sign lay in splinters on the floor. The fortunate thing was that in its madness the dog had found the button, retracting the spikes and allowing me to continue. Checking the now destroyed table, I picked the plate of "Spaghetti" off of the floor. The food was still intact, primarily because it was frozen solid to the plate.

"Well I guess I won't be trying spaghetti any time soon…"

As I mourned the loss, I heard another set of footsteps approaching my location. Staring down the path, I saw a two hulking figures approaching. They stood over 7 feet tall, with black robes covering their whole body and hoods covering their faces. In their hands they held large, two handed axes, the sort of weapon that would stand proud in Darius's or Olaf's collections. Before I had time to react, they surrounded me, circling me and preventing my escape.

Being this close to me, I could see that under the darkness of their hoods their faces were that of large dogs, almost similar to Nasus except for their snow-white fur.

"Woof! What's this strange smell?" The first dog asked.

"Bark! If you are a strange smell, identify yoursmelf!" The second followed up, as the two of them sniffed me intensively.

"Uh hey, I didn't mean to um, excite your… friend?" I explained hesitantly. The last encounter had already gone a little strange, and not wanting to risk being attacked by these even larger dogs I decided to play it safe.

"Woof! You smell almost like…"

"...A lost puppy?" The two dogs asked. The second finishing the first's sentence.

Looking down at myself I could see that I was still covered in a mixture of melting snow and dog saliva, which while being incredibly gross, seemed to be working in my favour.

"Um yes, I guess I am a little lost. I don't suppose you've seen a couple of skeletons anywhere around here have you?" I asked.

"Bark! Sans and Papyrus?"

"Woof! They just went past here!"

"Bark! Follow us!"

I waved goodbye to the pair of dogs, who I learnt were called Dogmay and Dogaressa, and saw two familiar skeletons standing before me. The ground between us was covered in a sea of grey looking tiles, all of which seemed to be connected up to a large looking machine that Papyrus seemed to be fiddling with. Upon seeing me approaching, Sans elbowed Papyrus, causing him to look up in joy.

"AHA! Human! So you have finally arrived! I trust you found that cleverly hidden button in the snow then?"

"Uh, yeah, you could say that the answer just sort of jumped out at me…" I replied, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment as I tried to forget the madness that had ensued.

"Impressive! But you see, I have also found the solution to your puzzle! Papyrus replied, pulling a book out from under his clothes.

Although I couldn't clearly see from across the clearing, the title of the book seemed to read "World Geography for Kids".

"The Fjord-ian would clearly order anything as long as it doesn't come with Ice!" He exclaimed beaming.

"Huh? No, I mean, the Freljord is pretty cold so they wouldn't want ice in their drinks, but I think you're kinda missing the point, it was just a joke…" I replied.

"AH! So it means they would order something that does have ice in it, interesting…" Papyrus flicked through a few more pages of his atlas before slamming it shut. "ANYWAY! You have challenged enough of my time Human! It is now my time to challenge you! Nyehehehe!"

"I guess your joke just didn't hit his funny bone," Sans winked at me.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation, "I guess we're back to skeleton puns again…"

"Pay attention now! Once I activate this machine created by the great Royal Scientist Dr Alphys it will generate a completely random puzzle full of multicolored tiles! There are so many possible combinations that not even I know what will happen!" Papyrus explained enthusiastically

"Now to explain the colours:

Pink tiles do nothing, walk on them all you want!

Green tiles will cause you to fight a monster in order to proceed!.

Red tiles are no entry, you cannot step on them!

Yellow tiles are electric, they will shock you!

Orange tiles do nothing, but they will make you smell sweetly of oranges!

Blue tiles are water tiles, you can cross if you swim, but if you smell of oranges then the piranhas will attack you! Also if there is a yellow tile nearby the water will become electrocuted!

Finally purple tiles are really slippery, you will slide right across them! They also make you smell of lemons, which piranhas hate!

Now that you understand the rules, we can start!"

"Wait, scented tiles, lightning? Papyrus I've never really spent much time swimming before, what's a piranha?!" I asked hurriedly as Papyrus began to activate the machine.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, now LET'S DO IT!" He shouted, before pulling down the big lever on the machine.

The tiles on the ground suddenly lit up, rapidly alternating colours as the machine generated a random puzzle.

"It shouldn't take too long, prepare yourself for the ultimate brain te-" Papyrus froze as the machine stopped flashing, locking the tiles in place.

Looking down I could see two large stripes of red tiles with an even larger pink stripe down the middle. At this, Papyrus's face turned to one of absolute shock, before spinning away from the clearing and into the woods beyond.

"Guess you just got lucky kid, See you in Snowdin then," Sans chuckled as he followed his brother, giving me a parting wave as he left.

I stood dumbfounded at their reactions, looking out across the final puzzle in wonder.

"Wait guys! What did the pink and red tiles do again!?"

The last mile to Snowdin was fairly calm, compared to what I had been through before at least. Most of my time was spent attempting to navigate my way across an icy maze that Papyrus had clearly set up. Though it seemed simple enough - cross each of the points only once and then get to the exit - the slipperiness of the ice meant that I spent a fair amount of my time sliding around on my backside rather than going in the right direction.

"Maybe I should of let Braum give me those ice skating lessons, I never thought they'd come in useful…"

Besides that, I met many other residents on the way into town. Most of them seemed friendly enough (besides a deer looking creature that had had its antlers decorated by some of the local kids) and after getting through an even larger dog, I finally arrived at the bridge leading into Snowdin. Unsurprisingly, I was greeted by two familiar faces on the far side of the bridge.

"You have done well Human! You have successfully navigated all of my traps with flying colours, and even japed the great Papyrus himself with your own dastardly riddles!"

"It wasn't a riddle, it was meant to be a joke…" I murmured as Papyrus continued.

"But this is where I win, behold my ultimate trap!"

As Papyrus shouted I noticed that surrounding the bridge was a large collection of assorted weaponry, blades, axes, knives, cannons, the whole works.

"When I activate this button, you will be completely destroyed, and my initiation into the Royal Guard will finally be complete, Nyehehe!"

"Wait, hold on a minute!" I shouted from across the bridge.

"Hmm? Oh, pleading for your life? Well seeing as I, the Great Papyrus, am a merciful soul I will listen to your pleas!"

"You can't seriously just kill me like this, where would - is that a dog?" I asked, looking at one of the weapons suspended above me.

"No of course it… SANS WHY IS THERE A DOG IN MY ULTIMATE TRAP!?"

"I dunno, guess you could say that he's, barking up the wrong trap?"

"WELL DONE, YOU'VE COMPLETELY RUINED THE MOMENT SANS! NOW I CAN'T POSSIBLY USE THIS ON THE HUMAN. NOT ONLY WOULD IT BE FAR TOO EASY BUT YOUR PUNS HAVE RUINED EVERYTHING!" Papyrus shouted as he turned to leave.

"I guess you can enter this time Human, but tomorrow I will have an even greater final trap for you! Meet me at the far side of Snowdin tomorrow at dawn! Nyehehehe!"

"See, I got your back kid. You gotta be hungry after such a long day of walking, how about I treat you to some food at Grillby's?" Sans asked as I walked across the large wooden bridge.

"Yeah some food would be great," I hadn't eaten anything all day, besides a tiny bit of nice cream, and I was starving. "Lead the way I guess"

Having only had a brief look around, it was clear that Snowdin was not a large town. The scattered houses that surrounded the main 'high street' couldn't have housed more than a few hundred residents, and the limited shops that made up the former made the place seem rather dull and uninteresting compared to some of the bustling metropolises I had visited. Regardless, the town had a warm, comforting air to it, and the local bar - Grillby's - was full of smiling faces and wagging tails.

After greeting my new canine friends, Sans ordered us up a pair of 'Hamburgers'. Apparently it was cooked meat in bread, which further cemented my picture of Sans fitting in on the streets of Zaun, eating the messy urban food from one of the dozen carts that dotted every street corner.

"I really appreciate what you did for my brother today kid, he's been so worked up all day. Heh, I haven't seen him this happy in a long time, probably not since Undyne told him that she would train him." Sans explained as we waited for our food at the bar.

"Hey, it was no problem Sans, I actually really enjoyed today! I mean other than the nearly deadly electricity, the hyperactive dog attacks and almost being minced on the bridge back there…" I replied, laughing nervously as I remembered all of the near death experiences I had experienced today.

"It was pretty good fun though, your brother seems like a really nice guy, even if he is a little over the top. He's like, a less annoying and more innocent version of Draven I guess..."

"Well I have no idea who this Draven fella is, but he must be pretty cool if he's anything like my brother."

"Yeah, maybe not so much… but anyway, what does your brother have planned for me tomorrow?" I asked.

"Hey, I don't really want to spoil the surprise kid, but I would guess that he will probably try to fight you, he's pretty strong you know." Sans replied as the barkeep Grillby, a creature made almost entirely of fire, delivered our food.

"Fight me? I don't really want to fight anyone, I thought we were getting along well…"

"Heh, don't worry about it kid. My brother is a really cool guy, there's no way he would actually try and kill you or anything. Just do your best kid! I'm sure if you appeal to his nice side he'll let you go." Sans winked at me.

"Hmm if you're sure, why is he so adamant about catching humans anyway?" I asked.

"It's a long story kid, maybe you could ask him about it sometime?"

We sat in comfortable silence for a bit as we eat our food. I could hear the noisy barking of the dog poker going on behind us, as well as the normal bustle that is present in any lively tavern.

"Anyway, it's been fun kid, just remember: if my brother uses his fabled blue attack, just stand still. It won't hit you if you don't move." He explained, before standing to leave.

He had already finished his food, eating it a lot faster than I had. Sans tipped Grillby before collecting his jacket.

"You can probably stay the night in the local inn, they're not too picky about their guests." Sans informed me.

"Oh, that's nice of them, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then? You still haven't told me where I need to go to get to the surface…"

"Don't worry about it, once you've finished with my brother I'll give you a hint." Sans gave a parting wave as he walked out of the door, pausing just before he left.

"Look kid, you're a good person, and I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but if you hurt my brother…"

He paused, turning to face me. His face was completely dark, with all traces of its usual comic expression completely absent.

"You're gonna have a bad time"

The door closed shut behind Sans as I swallowed nervously.

"Glad I didn't end up on his bad side, I really need to make sure I don't hurt Papyrus in this 'fight'..."

"So you show your face Human! I am glad to see that you don't back down in the face of adversity!" Papyrus exclaimed as I stood before him.

We met on the far side of Snowdin, the large icy river that flowed through the town was to our right, while the large forest we had spent the previous day in was to our left. The snow was lightly falling in the pale winter light of the early morning, and a soft western wind caused the flakes and our scarves to dance in the breeze. We stared each other down, both preparing for the other's first move.

"Before we begin, I want to say something Human. Yesterday, I felt many emotions. The admiration of finding someone cool to hang out with, someone who loves puzzles, junior jumble and even Spaghetti!"

"Awh, thanks! I didn't really end up trying the spaghetti but-"

"And these emotions are what I felt overflowing from you! I know it isn't easy finding someone as great as me out there, but I thought I would let you know that I, the Great Papyrus, is willing to become your friend!"

"OK, maybe saying he wasn't as bad as Draven was a bit premature…"

"You know, you should probably tone down the narcism a bit, no-one likes an overly cocky hero Papyrus." I informed him.

Papyrus smiled at me, "Nonsense human! Everyone loves Heroes that describe themselves as heroic and brave! I have read most of four books about heroes, which makes me an expert on the topic! Nyehehe!"

"Books? I've spent the past couple of decades searching for the legendary hero that this hammer belongs too! Clearly that means heros are my speciality!" I replied, brandishing the hammer in front of the skeleton.

"Hmmm," Papyrus pondered for a moment, thinking over what I had just said. "But surely, seeing as you still have that hammer, you have never found this hero? So how much of an expert can you really be with no experience?"

"Hey, it's not like I didn't find any heros, just not the right hero…" I stammered, He had really hit a bit of a sore point, and I really didn't need someone like Papyrus telling me I hadn't achieved much over the past years.

"Let's just change the subject, what is your final challenge anyway?"

"Nyehe, I'm glad you asked! Your final challenge is none other than me, the Great Papyrus himself! As a (future) very famous royal guardsman, it is my duty to battle and capture you human! Prepare yourself!" Papyrus explained, striking a heroic pose.

"Guess this is the part where I try and convince him, what did Sans say again? Appeal to his nice side?"

"Hey look Papyrus, I'm just trying to get back to the surface, I really have nothing against you or the Royal Guard or anything. It was really fun doing all your puzzles and playing your mind games, but I have to go now! Despite being different, we can still be friends right?" I pleaded.

"Well of course we can be friends! Wait no, I mean, you're a human, and I have to capture humans…" Papyrus explained doubtfully, questioning his own motives for a moment. "I'm sorry Human, we cannot be friends, for I must capture you to finally fulfil my dreams as a royal guardsman!"

At this a multitude of bones emerged from out of the snow, before hurtling towards me. They weren't particularly fast, and so I deftly managed to dodge to the side. Weaving between the onslaught of bones, I cried out to Papyrus again.

"Please, we don't have to do this! There's no need to fight!"

Regaining his composure, Papyrus straightened up and smiled, the bones stopping for a moment.

"Nyehe, do not fear Human! Although I have decided to capture you, I vow that I will not let you be harmed! Now come with me quietly and I shall turn you over to Undyne!"

"No way! If you think I'm just gonna roll over and let you take me, you've got another thing coming!" I replied, readying my hammer. I didn't want to hurt Papyrus, but if he was really going to get in my way, I guess I could rough him up a bit.

As the bones started to emerge again, I rushed forwards. Jumping over the projectiles, I raised my hammer above my head, slamming it down into the ground sending a wave of moving rock and snow towards the Skeleton. To my surprise, Papyrus nimbly dodged my attack before causing a large bone to erupt from the snow beneath me, knocking me back into the ground. As I landed roughly, I quickly held up my hammer to block the barrage of femurs that came hurtling towards me.

"You're pretty strong Human, I'll give you that! But it will take more than that to defeat the Great - offff!" Papyrus cried as my shield collided with his skull with a loud clang. Clutching one eye, Papyrus howled at me from the far side of the path.

"Owowowow! What sort of attack is that Human! That's not how you use a shield!"

"Sorry, never really learnt how to fight, seems to work though!" I replied as I ran towards the half blinded skeleton.

"Well you're meant to use it for defence not - urffff!" Once again Papyrus was cut short as I tackled him to the ground, landing him a solid blow to his breast plate.

We wrestled around in the snow for a while, my hammer and his bones scattering the once peaceful clearing. Though Papyrus had a clear size advantage on me, my short stature and heavy armor (it's the armor, I'm not heavy!) allowed me to fight him on fairly even terms. Though I soon realised the futility of punching a skeleton, (I mean, what do you even go for?) I continued to lay down a barrage of blows, with him returning many of his own. After a couple of minutes, Papyrus managed to knock me off him, throwing me across the snow with a powerful blast of ulnas. He stood panting before me with what I guessed to be the skeletal equivalent of a black eye forming on his face.

"Hmm, your underhand tricks won't work on me any longer Human! For I have my own Ace! Behold my fabled Blue Attack!"

As I wiped the blood away from my mouth, I saw a large swarm of spectral bones appear behind Papyrus. They certainly were glowing blue, and the huge number that surrounded the Skeleton made the idea of dodging them improbable at best.

"Sans, you better not have been messing with me when you told me I have to stand still for this attack…" I thought to myself as I held my breath, the ghostly bones rushing me all at once.

As the bones slammed into me, I felt a cold chill pass through my whole body as one by one the phantom projectiles passed straight through my body. Though they didn't seem to cause me any physical harm, each one felt like an icy dagger piercing at my very soul. Once the attack ended, I looked up at Papyrus who was still smiling.

"Heh, that wasn't so bad. For your best attack, it didn't really seem to do a lot!" I grinned at Papyrus.

"Oh really? Maybe you just haven't noticed the effect due to that conveniently coloured hair that covers your body! The real power of my attack is that it makes you blue!" Papyrus exclaimed, playing with a small bone in his hand before catapulting it towards me. As I moved to dodge, I suddenly realised my body felt sluggish, as if I was moving through thick tar. Everything felt heavy, and without the finer motor controls I had before, the bone smashed straight into my chest, knocking me to the floor and winding me.

"Nyehehehe! Let's try this again shall we?"

Looking up I saw the barrage of femurs hurtling towards me again. Willing myself to move I tried my hardest to jump and duck between the projectiles. The onslaught of bones seemed never ending, and after trying my hardest to avoid getting hit I still had a multitude of cuts and bruises covering my body.

"Damn, I didn't want to try this, but it looks like I don't really have a choice. How do Trist and Gnar do it again?"

"Nyehehe! It appears you are having trouble there Human! Would you like to, uh like to, um what are you doing?"

Taking advantage of my big eyes and small size, I tried my best to pout cutely at Papyrus, mimicking the expression that Gnar always made when he broke something in the Institute.

"Awh, you win Papyrus, you wouldn't capture an injured little girl like me, would you?"

Papyrus blushed slightly, his hands raising to his face as his jaw opened wide in shock.

"OMG HUMAN! WITH THAT ENDEARING EXPRESSION AND LARGE PUPPY DOG EYES, ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH ME?" He shouted, staring at me with admiration.

"Wait, that's not what happens when Gnar does this…"

"No that's not it I-"

"OMG! Human I am so flattered, I don't even know what to say!" He continued, completely ignoring me.

"Oh, I guess I see why this expression works so well on Teemo and Rumble when Trist does it…"

"But you must know Human, I am a skeleton with very high standards! What is it that makes you think that you would make an excellent partner for the Great Papyrus?" He asked expectantly.

I sighed, looking Papyrus straight in the eyes. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I had to clear up this misunderstanding before it went too far.

"No Papyrus, you don't understand, I don't actually want to go out with you, sorry…" I explained nervously.

He paused, the clearing going eerily silent and his jaw once again slowly dropped.

"OMG! YOU'RE MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS!" He shouted, his hands once again clasping his face. "I guess that means we're going on a date now?"

"No just listen to me-"

"Excellent! I will see you at seven then! Meet me outside of my house! Nyehehehe!" Papyrus announced, before rushing back into town. As he ran, I could of sworn I saw him pull out something that looked like sauce and started dabbing it on the sides of his skull.

Looking ahead, I could see the path leading into a large cave beyond the confines of Snowdin. Now that Papyrus had gone, I could easily just take off down the path and continue on my journey to escape. After a brief pause, I sighed as I picked up my hammer and started walking back into town.

"I guess I need to go prepare for a date with Papyrus then…"