Unforgettable Nights, Unforgivable Mistakes

Chapter 10: Returning To The Hated Land

Emily was picking up the last couple of boxes from the place she once called home, the moving truck had already picked up everything else, and they had sent most of the furniture to her now ex-husband's new house; she had shipped some of her and Bay's belongings back to D.C, including their personal things. Emily was absolutely exhausted; the last couple of weeks had been the longest of her life...she had big bags under her eyes, and she barely had the energy to stand up. In between learning of her daughter's illness, getting divorced, and arranging her return to D.C, she had barely slept or eaten anything; she had probably lost ten pounds easily, yet she needed to maintain her strength and her focus. Although she felt like falling apart, in addition, it seemed she was always on the verge of tears. She never thought this would happen to her, she was happy...she had it all yet, everything was gone in the blink of an eye. Her daughter had been diagnosed with a terrible disease, and Emily just wanted to die in her stead, she wished it was her that was sick and not her little baby girl. Why her, Bay was such a sweet innocent baby, why did God punish her like this. Emily was absolutely sure that was what it was, she was being punished for her mistakes in her younger years, for everything she had done wrong, she had hurt so many people with her mistakes and now, now, her baby girl was paying for those mistakes. Emily felt horrible...she wanted to give her life for her daughter, and she probably would, she was willing to do anything it took to save her daughter, no matter what it cost her, she would save her daughter. Emily had made a silent vow to herself that she would take Bay to the best doctors, even if she had to spend every last dollar she had, she would save her precious daughter's life.

While in the process of learning about her daughter's illness, she had also gotten separated from the man with which she thought she would spend the rest of her life. It really pained her that things had ended up the way they had with Max because she truly never meant to hurt him; he had been amazing to her for so long, and the last thing she wanted to do was break his heart, but her stupid mistakes finally caught up with her, and now, because of that, she was in the middle of a divorce. At the same time they learned that Bay was sick, they had also learned her daughter wasn't biologically related to her Max...something she had always feared, and if truth be known, had probably known deep inside her. When she had found out she was pregnant with Bay, she had been with Max for only a couple of months; she had barely just moved back to London, and it had taken her by surprise. Max, however, quickly took responsibility and asked her to marry him, something Emily wasn't sure she really wanted. She felt like it was too soon, and she wasn't ready for it; what Emily never told anyone was that the reason why she wasn't ready was because she was in love with another man. She had been in love with him for three years, regardless of the fact that he was an asshole to her and had been for all those years. She had hidden her feelings for him for so long, choosing to move to another country to forget about that same man. But her mistake was that she had gotten drunk at her "goodbye uncelebration" the night before she was leaving for London and her new position and let her feelings get in the way, and she gave herself to that man, and it turned out to be the best sex she had ever had, making her unable to forget about that moment. So, when Max asked her to marry him, she wasn't sure because she still loved the man she left behind, and not only that, there was a small probability that the baby she was carrying was that man's baby. But Emily couldn't tell Max that, she couldn't tell anyone that she had slept with someone who hated her after one night of drinking, and now that man could be the father of her baby. Instead, she chose to bury her past, hide her mistakes and marry Max, hoping that he was the real father of her baby...thus, running away from her mistakes.

For the next four years, Emily lived a life of lies; she had to pretend to be happily married and devote herself to her new husband and child. She just wanted to forget about her past, but it hadn't been that easy, because her past always chased her like a ghost, and those lies kept growing and growing. Every time she looked at her daughter, she saw her past, every time her daughter smiled or frowned, she saw that night she had chosen to run away from. Emily knew deep inside her heart, every time she saw those beautiful dimples on her baby girl's cheeks, she saw Aaron Hotchner's dimples, and that frown her baby girl gave her sometimes took her back to those times at the BAU when the stoic Aaron Hotchner looked at her with those questioning eyes. Deep inside her soul, she had always known he was the real father of her daughter, but once again, she had chosen to run away and look the other way, pretending she didn't see what was blatantly staring her in the face. She chose to pretend Bay was Max's daughter, and she lived a lie for the next three years. But eventually, her lies caught up with her in the worst kind of way, the truth was out, her secret had been revealed, and now Max hated her and she was fighting so hard to keep everything together and not fall apart for Bay's sake. She needed to remain strong for her daughter and to keep going because there was a little human being that needed her more than ever, and now she just needed take responsibility for her own mistakes and keep moving forward. As she placed the boxes in the trunk, she turned around to glance at the house. She felt so much agony...this had been her home for the last four years, and it had been a happy home; she sighed and was about to walk to the door to lock everything before she drove away when she saw the black Audi approaching, her ex-husband's car. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled deeply, the last thing she needed was to go another round with him. They had been doing nothing but arguing over the last couple of days, and she was truly tired of it. She knew Max was very upset, and he had reason to be, but he had done nothing but insult her, calling her names and being a complete jerk to her...in fact, Emily had seen a side of Max for the last couple of weeks that she had never seen before. He was awful, and he had said so many hurtful things to Emily that she truly was hurt, she would never have thought he would treat her like that regardless of what she had done. She watched him as he got out of the car and started walking towards her.

"Hey, I just came by to see if there was anything left that you needed help with." Max said, sounding calmer than during the previous days.

"I'm fine, I just got the last couple of boxes out." Emily said, looking away from him.

"When are you leaving.?" He asked.

"We leave first thing tomorrow morning."

"I'll stop by to see Bay tonight before you guys leave." He said, looking at her again.

"Okay, that's fine." Emily replied, walking back toward the house to close the doors with Max following after her.

"How am I supposed to live away from the child I raised the last three years of my life?" He asked, although his tone wasn't angry anymore. Emily just rolled her eyes; she was so tired of this.

"Max, this isn't about you, this is about Bay and getting her the best treatment possible." Emily replied tiredly.

"I know that, Emily, but why choose Washington? Why take her thousands of miles away from me?" He asked, pleading with her.

"It's one of the best hospitals, according to Dr. Nicolletti. You heard him tell us that. I've already explained that to you a hundred times." She said, as she locked the door of her old house.

"Or, is it because 'HE' lives there?" Now, his words were full of jealousy and hatred.

Emily sighed again, trying to keep her cool.

"No, that is not the reason why, Max. I am finished fighting about this. I've already explained this over and over, and no matter what I say to you, you're just going to feel the same way. I am tired of this, Max." Her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"I've apologized a million times for what I did, and I know you hate me and think I am a horrible person, but please understand that this isn't about you or me it is about Bay!" Her last words were tired and a single tear rolled down her eyes.

"There are other options and hospitals, that's all I'm saying." He said, wiping the tear away gently.

"Yes, there are, but Washington was my home once, my mother lives there, and I have a lot of friends that can help me, and be there for me and Bay." She explained one more time.

"Are you ever going to tell him?" Max asked, all of a sudden, looking at her skeptically.

"Honestly? I don't know." She confessed truthfully.

"He is her real father." Max pointed out sadly.

"Yes, he is, but honestly, I don't think he will ever care for her, or for me, he never did. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but he was a mistake, Max." She looked him directly in the eyes, every time she thought about Aaron Hotchner it pained her, Max just look down.

"I have to go. Max, I still need to get some things and then go back to the hospital." She said, trying to move past him, but he stopped her.

"Emily, I'm very sorry about everything I said to you. I...know I was out of line. I also know you never meant to hurt me. I was just mad." He apologized for his behavior over the last couple of weeks.

"It's okay, Max."

"No, it's not, I'm sorry. I still love you, Em, I always will." He sadly looked at her again.

"I know that, and I really hope one day you can forgive me."

"Can I ask you something and you tell me the truth?" Max asked.

"Sure."

"You still love him, don't you? That's why you were never able to love me?" That caught her completely off guard, and she stood there looking at him with her mouth open without knowing what to say, but she knew she needed to answer him.

"I honestly don't know, too much has happened and it's been too long." She finally said, truthfully.

"Yeah, well, maybe things will change." Max stated and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Bye, Em, I hope you find the happiness you deserve with him one day." With that, he walked away leaving Emily more confused and sad than before.

Washington D.C.

It was late at night and the stoic Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner was still on his office working on paperwork and cases; everyone had gone home for the day except for JJ who was still separating the last cases that had been sent to them. He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he turned the pages of the cases his team had turned in, it had been a very long, boring day with a lot of paperwork, but he didn't want to go home and he wasn't sure why. Well, actually he was...he didn't want to go home because he had gotten into an argument with his current girlfriend, Beth Clemons...they had been dating a little over four months, and she was already becoming controlling and obsessive. She was very jealous and basically tried to control his every move. Hotch had met Beth when he was training for the FBI marathon, and they had trained together a few times. She asked him out one night and Hotch wasn't sure if he truly wanted to start dating again; he basically had been single since he divorced, and he was happy to stay that way. But, Dave insisted he needed to get out of the routine and maybe start dating again, so when Beth asked him out, Dave managed to convince him to go out again so he did. At first, it was okay. Beth was pretty and had a sparkling personality, and he had not been laid in over five years, well, four if he counted that night with Emily, but other than that, he had been single for a long time, and he was a man and he had needs. He felt wrong saying that since he had always been a gentleman, and he would never use a woman to fulfill his needs, he actually wanted a girlfriend, and the company of someone who could make him smile again and make him feel loved. But to be honest, it had not really worked out. Beth was pretty, but she was a very jealous person, something that Hotch didn't like, and he wasn't aware of until after they began dating. He didn't like to be controlled, and she also started fights over seemingly small issues; he wasn't really happy, and honestly, he wasn't sure if he would ever truly have deep feelings for her. Right now, he was choosing not to go home and avoid having another fight and avoid having to explain why he had stayed at work so late.

A few minutes later, JJ walked into his office to hand him the last stack of files for that evening.

"Hey, Hotch, so these are all the files for the possible cases we could be involved in during these coming weeks." JJ said, handing him all the documents.

"Thank you, JJ, I really appreciate you staying this late." He said, taking the files and placing them on his desk.

"It's okay, I have to stay up anyway, I'm waiting on Emily's call to see when she arrives tomorrow...with the time zone difference, it can be a little tricky." JJ said, smiling widely.

With that, the files that he had in his hand fell on the floor scattering the pages all over the carpet and beneath his desk. He quickly picked them up, trying to appear normal.

"Emily is visiting?" He asked the blonde, feeling his heart beat a thousand times per minute.

"She's moving back here, haven't you heard? Her daughter is sick, they are transferring her to a hospital in D.C." JJ explained.

"I'm sorry to hear that, is she okay?" He asked worriedly.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Bay is really sick, and I think she is going through a lot of things. I wouldn't be okay. Would you if they told you that Jack was sick?" JJ asked sadly.

"No, I wouldn't." He responded.

"I hope everything works out okay for her." He said, placing the files back on his desk.

"Yeah, I know, good night Hotch." JJ said, walking out of his office and heading toward the doors.

Hotch stood there aghast watching as the blonde walked out of the BAU doors; he was so surprised he couldn't even process his thoughts. Emily was coming back...the woman he had avoided thinking about for the past four years, the woman that had broken his heart that morning when he woke up to an empty bed after they had shared the most memorable night of his life. He had had the most amazing sex of his life with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen on earth, the woman that he had been secretly in love for the previous three years, but apparently that night had been a complete mistake for her, because she left that morning without even saying goodbye to him. He had realized that day how much in love he was with her, and he knew he needed to find a way to let her know that, he even thought about flying to London to go after her, to tell her that he loved her, and he had for the past three years. He had even bought the tickets and had planned not to come back until he brought her home with him, but a few days before his plane was to leave, he had learned she was pregnant and was going to marry another man, so once again, his heart was shattered into a million pieces, and it was when he realized he just needed to let her go.

It took him so long, to stop thinking about her because she kept in touch with everyone in the BAU but him. Garcia and JJ constantly talked with her and about her, she talked to Reid and Morgan, and she even talked to Dave, everyone had communication with her except him. They all received a picture every month of her daughter, the little girl that had stolen the team's heart, and they had even visited her in London several times. Everyone kept a great friendship over the years with her and her daughter, everyone but him. It took him a few years to get over her, to stop thinking about her, and finally he thought he had gotten over her and started dating another woman, and now she was coming back, Emily Prentiss was coming back...the problem was, Hotch wasn't sure if he was over her.