Unforgettable Nights, Unforgivable Mistakes
Chapter 17: Clyde Easter and the Mystery Friend
Clyde Easter was a man of his word and this time was no different...just as he had promised Emily, he was able to get out of work for a week or so, and he found himself taking the first plane available to Washington. Although he was his own boss, he really didn't have the opportunity to take as much time off as he wished he could, but this was something he really needed to do. Emily and Bay were very important to him, the closest thing he had to a family, and two of the most important people in his life. He and Emily had known each other for several decades and although romance had never been a thing between them, they had always remained friends. They knew each other more than they knew themselves, and they had always been there for each other whether it was a family death, a broken heart, a life failure, or even a terrible cold, they were always there for each other, and he knew Emily needed him now more than ever.
It pained his heart so much to see his best friend hurting and in so much agony, and it even pained him so much more that the little angel whom he had fallen in love with three years ago was in a hospital battling for her life. He truly didn't understand why things worked the way they did, why bad things happened to good people and why God had chosen such an innocent creature to be so ill. He wanted to be there for Emily all the time, but he knew he couldn't, and that made him so mad. A part of him wasn't happy that Emily had taken Bay to back to Washington for treatment where he could only visit her a few times because if she had stayed in London, he could be with her every single day, but he also knew Emily had to do this in order to provide Bay with the best medical care at the best hospital, and because she needed to get her closer to her biological father.
He loved Emily and he knew he needed to support her and be there for her no matter what, so he found himself at Dulles Airport in Washington, hailing a cab and heading to the hospital where Bay was being treated. He hadn't let Emily know he was arriving, since he wanted it to be a surprise. He knew both Prentiss women needed him, and he was going to make sure the next week was completely dedicated to both of them. The cab driver took him to the hospital, and he paid taking care of his luggage and heading inside the hospital, stopping at the gift shop to get a huge teddy bear and a two bouquets, one for each Prentiss woman. He then asked at the reception area where Bay's room was and he headed there.
Emily was in the hospital room with Bay, trying to get here to eat, but she wasn't having any luck; the longer it passed the more ill her daughter became and the chemotherapy wasn't working the way the doctors wanted. Of course, Dr. Bergman had made her aware that this might be a long process and it could have different results...it all depended on how Bay's body reacted to the chemotherapy, and if the treatment was being successful in killing the cancer cells. In a patient of Bay's age, they had to be more careful with doses and medications, and it could be a slow and slightly painful process. Something that was turning out to be more stressful for Emily and painful for little Bay,
Emily was trying to get as much time as possible to be with her daughter and also fulfill her responsibilities at work, but it was consuming her completely, and she felt like no matter what she did, it wasn't enough. The BAU demanded more time from her each passing day, and while Aaron and Dave had been amazing at helping her, she still needed to perform certain functions on her own, and sometimes those functions such as meetings and paperwork would take more hours, and she would have to leave Bay at the hospital more time than she intended.
Of course, that was hard on her daughter, too, Emily knew her baby girl was hurting, and she wanted her mother with her 24/7 and there were just times Emily couldn't be there, and that really hurt her…on top of that, Bay was beginning to be resentful of that, and Emily could see it in her attitude and the few tantrums Bay was trying to throw. Bay had always been a sweet-natured child, she had never really misbehaved or acted out, of course, she was just a toddler, still, but for her age, she had acted like an angel; however, in the last couple of weeks Bay had thrown more tantrums and scenes than she had ever in her entire life. Emily knew she was just hurting and didn't understand what was happening to her little body, and she couldn't really understand why mommy wasn't always there when she needed her the most, but it still was difficult to divide herself between work and her daughter.
"Bay, you need to eat something, baby, please." Emily begged for what felt like the hundredth time. Bay just pouted and turned her face away, frowning angrily and pushing the spoon her mother was trying to give her away from her.
"Okay, you know what's going to happen, Dr. Bergman is going to come, and he's going to be mad if he sees you're not eating...you don't want him to give you more medicine now, do you?" Emily asked gently. Bay ignored her and picked up another stuffed horse she had received...this was a dark gray horse.
"You're not going to talk to mommy, then?" She asked sadly. Bay shook her head 'no' and hid herself under the blanket.
Emily just sighed, she was trying so hard not to lose her cool.
"Okay, then since you don't want to talk to mommy, I guess I'm going back to work." She teased, hoping that would get Bay's attention.
Before Bay could respond, Clyde entered the room as Bay was lifting the cover from her face again.
"Hello, pretty ladies." Clyde said, in his charming British accent.
"Clyde!" Bay screamed happily and Emily smiled widely without knowing what to say. He walked further into the room and lifted the little girl from the bed hugging her tightly.
"Hello monkey, how is the most beautiful girl in the world doing?" He kissed the girl and held her in his arms.
"You came to see me!" Bay said smiling widely forgetting her outburst.
"Of course, I came, I miss my little monkey." He gently placed her back on the bed and turned his attention to Emily.
"Hello, you." He said, as he also pulled the brunette into his arms.
"I'm so glad you're here." Emily said, fighting the tears in her eyes, holding really tightly onto him, and Clyde knew immediately she was about to burst into tears.
"It's okay, love, it'll all be okay." Clyde soothed her as he kissed her forehead.
"So, I heard someone doesn't want to eat, see Mr. Bear here won't stay with you if you aren't a good girl and eat your food...isn't that right, Mr. Bear?" Clyde said, sitting on the edge of the bed and talking to Bay sweetly.
"That's right, Bay needs to eat all of her food." Clyde said, faking the bear's voice, making Bay gasp in shock.
"Is he for me?" Bay asked with sweet puppy dog eyes.
"Only if you eat all of your dinner." Clyde pointed out, picking up the plate from which Emily had been trying to make her eat. Bay smiled shyly and blushed, but did as Clyde requested.
A few hours later, Clyde had managed to make Bay eat all her dinner and even take her medications. While Emily showered and put her to bed, she had noticed Bay was still acting distant from her, and it really pained her, but she also knew Bay didn't mean to act like that with her, she was just hurt and terrified and she just wanted her mommy by her side all day, and Emily hated herself for not being able to do that.
After Bay fell asleep, Emily and Clyde sat in the little living room the hospital room had to talk and catch up. It was so great to have her best friend by her side. Emily was so tired she couldn't even concentrate anymore, and she felt like crying, but Clyde knew her too well and knew she was fighting back tears. They talked for a while and he listened...he knew Emily was the type of woman that he couldn't push to talk, instead he let her fill him in. He knew she would break eventually and when she did, he would be there...but for now, he just listened as they talked about the therapy and what was the next plan in Bay's recovery. Then about her job and what the challenges were, and eventually the subject switched to Aaron Hotchner, and Emily couldn't hide her blushed checks when he mentioned him.
"I know that look...someone's heart is really into him." Clyde said, teasing her, grabbing her legs and pulling them to his lap, massaging her calves gently.
"You are seeing things, Easter, I don't know what you're talking about." Emily said, looking away.
How long have you been in love with him, Em?" He asked, this time looking at her gently, looking at her the way he always did when he knew she was lying and he could see through her.
"Honestly, since I first met him, well, it wasn't love at first sight because he was an asshole to me, but somewhere along the way...it happened." She confessed, looking at him.
"So, are you two dating now, or are you just releasing each other's tension by...fucking." Clyde teased. Emily slapped his arm and scolded him.
"We only...mmm...did it once...okay...well, twice if you count the night we procreated Bay.' She blushed at her own joke.
"Right, so, is that all he wants...to fuck around?" Clyde asked, a little angry.
"No, he wants more...or so he says, he has been great to me...he said he was really in love and he never admitted...God Clyde, he has been great! If I tell you everything he has done for me over the last couple of weeks, you won't believe it." She said sadly.
"Then what is stopping you, Em?" She looked down, and he placed his finger on her chin bringing her eyes to look at him. Her eyes filled with tears then she looked in the direction where her baby girl was sleeping peacefully.
"Bay? He is her father, Emily...do you really think he will just walk away from a child like that, if he really loves you the way he says he does, he'll understand." Clyde offered soothingly.
"No, he won't." Emily said, as tears finally rolled down her eyes.
"I knew it all along, Clyde." Her voice cracked.
"What do you mean?" He asked confused.
That he was her father, since the first moment they placed her in my arms at the hospital...and I saw her and those dimples, I knew he was the father." Emily cried as he pulled her in his arms, while she broke down.
Clyde hugged Emily and let her cry, it helped her calm down some, but he knew there was more to let out, and knowing Emily she would bury it deep inside her, all he could do was be there for her and help her with Bay as much as he could while he was there. So he did, and for the next couple of days he dedicated himself completely to both of them; he made sure he made Bay laugh as much as possible, and as Emily expected, he filled her room with decorative things with the permission of the hospital, of course, hoping he could make Bay's stay in the hospital as pleasant as possible. He even managed to change the bulbs to a little purple color that Bay adored. Dr. Bergman was happy...as a matter of fact…he believed that Bay needed the motivation and the love of her close friends and family, so he allowed Clyde to make a couple of modifications. He even allowed Clyde to make a tent in Bay's room, so he and Bay could play. Emily could see that it was making her daughter happy, and although she was still fuzzy with her, it made Emily happy to see her smile. On one of his last few days at the hospital, Clyde planned on having a sleepover with Bay and her mommy at the hospital, so he brought in movies, and colorful pajamas, and was allowed to bring in popcorn; unfortunately, Emily was called away on a case that afternoon, and she wasn't able to stay with them for the sleepover Clyde had planned. He, however, told Emily not to worry about Bay…that he would stay with her as much as she needed, and he would even extend his stay in America to help her. Emily was so thankful to have him, but she knew Bay wasn't going to be very happy, and she wanted to make Bay understand, but the truth was there was very little a three year old child could understand about her mommy being gone when she wanted her there.
"Bay, please...listen to me, sweetheart." Emily said, as tears rolled down her baby girl's face.
"Nooo, you promised you would spend time with me." Bay cried.
"I know, sweetie, and I have been with you…all week, but now mommy has to go to work." Emily explained, trying to hold her, but Bay pushed her away as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"You always have to work, and you always leave me!" That really hurt Emily more than anything she had ever experienced.
"Please don't say that, sweetie, that's not true, mommy is really trying to be here for you, but I need you to understand, I really wish I didn't have to work." Emily said sadly.
"You didn't have to work so much when we lived at the other house." Bay reproached.
"Why did we have to come here? I want to go back home! I want to see my daddy! I love him more than you anyway!" That made Emily's heart shatter into a million pieces.
"Bay, don't say that to your mom, sweetie, you know don't mean that." Clyde stepped in and told her.
"Yes, I do, I hate her. I hate her very much!" Bay sobbed heavily with her face pushed into the pillow.
"Bay, that isn't nice at all…if you don't apologize to your mother, we won't have a sleepover anymore." Clyde reprimanded her.
"I don't care." The muffled voice of the girl came from the pillows.
"Bay..." Clyde started, but Emily stopped him.
"Just leave her, its ok." Emily stated, as her eyes filled with tears.
"You know she doesn't mean any of that, Em, right? She is just a kid. Clyde said, looking at her with sad eyes.
"I know, I have to go. Okay?" Emily walked to the bed and placed a kiss on her daughter's head and walked out of the hospital room while tears rolled down her face.
When Emily arrived at Quantico, the team was already gathered in the conference room…luckily the case was local, and they didn't have to travel. They had to work on the disappearance of a child at a local carnival. The Amber alert had just been raised, and the team rushed down to the location where the small child had disappeared. As usual, Emily hated cases involving children because it was just so painful for her to deal with while her daughter was in the hospital sick. Within twenty-four hours, the team managed to locate the child. Surprisingly, there was no bad guy behind an abduction…the boy simply was wondering around and managed to separate from his family. Since the carnival was located at a corn field, the boy got lost in the corn maze, and when it started getting dark, he started running and trying to go back to where his family was. Unfortunately, since the corn mazes were too tall for him, he didn't realize he was running in the opposite direction, and he managed to wander around for several miles, but the SWAT team finally located him many miles from the cornfield. The boy was fine, he had a couple scratches but nothing big, but the police did take their job seriously, since they knew there were a lot of bad guys out there that kidnaped kids and did all kinds of horrible things to them. Luckily, this wasn't the case in this instance, it was the first time they didn't have to go after a bad guy, and they found the boy alive and returned him to his mother's arms, their job was done, and it was time to return to Quantico. Everyone was happy to go home and mostly this was a good day for the team, because this was the first time in years they didn't have to go after some crazy psychopath or some monster. They really wished all their cases were like that, but they knew that was too much to ask for, all they could do was go home and rest and wait for the next call so they could go after another bad guy.
Emily was collecting her last files in her office when Aaron walked in, everyone had already left for the night and they were the last ones in the office. Aaron wanted to check on her since he had noticed she had been a little edgy on this case, even though there had been no bad guy, but he also knew she had been going through a lot because of Bay, and having her daughter terminally ill wasn't the easiest thing for her to go through, in addition to leading the team and performing her job.
"Hey, what are you still doing here?" Aaron asked sweetly…Emily jumped when he spoke to her.
"God, you startled me, I thought everyone had left." She said tiredly.
"No, I wanted to stick around in case you needed anything, are you alright?" He asked worriedly, looking at her.
"Yeah, I just wanted to review these cases JJ brought me to see where we are heading next." Aaron walked in closer to her. He could see she was exhausted because the bags under her eyes were more than evident, and in addition, her eyes were red from lack of sleep. He could sense her urgency and see that she wasn't okay.
"What's going on, Em...you can tell me anything, you know." Emily smiled for a second, it was the first time he had called her Em since they had known one another, although she had heard that form of endearment from the team, she had never heard him call her that…it made her feel special somehow.
"Nothing, I'm alright, I'm just really tired, I think..." Her voice broke a little bit, and her mind was fogging. She wasn't sure if she could do this anymore.
Aaron walked closer to her and pulled her in his arms; he grabbed her face gently in his hands and looked at her tenderly, he could see the tears that she was fighting not to spill.
"What is it, sweetheart?" That was all it took, the sound of that simple word. She closed her eyes and tears poured down her face against her will.
Aaron pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly.
"I...just...I don't know if I can do this anymore...I just don't know how..." She cried softly.
"What do you mean?" He asked, rubbing her back gently, holding her close to his body.
"All of it...work...leading the team, I can't even be at the hospital when Bay needs me."
"Emily, you spend every single second you're not here at the hospital."
"It's not enough, Aaron, she's sick, she's sick, and she's terrified, and she wants her mother there, and I can't be there, and she's resenting me for that. I'm a horrible mother. She hates me." She cried.
"What? What are you talking about? You're a great mother, Em. You're literally splitting yourself in two to work and be there for your child. You're doing everything you can." Aaron said gently, pulling away a little to look at her eyes, tears were streaming from her beautiful eyes.
"I was supposed to stay with her last night, and I left her and now she hates me! God, Aaron, when she told me that, I felt like I wanted to die." He watched her as she spoke, and from what he could understand, she had probably gotten into some sort of fight with the little girl.
"She told you that?" Emily nodded, as more tears rolled down her cheeks.
"She's angry at me for moving here, for not being there. I'm failing her, Aaron."
It really pained him to see her cry; he wished he could be there for her and help her, he wished he could help with her daughter, but he knew he couldn't.
"Em, she's a child. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure she didn't really mean that. Kids...well, they tend to react like this and say things like that when they are angry, or when they don't get what they want." He wiped her tears gently.
"I know that, but she is very sick, and I should be there for her. God, Aaron, she could die, and instead of being there with her, I'm here all the time." She sobbed and he pulled her to him again holding her close, wishing there was something he could do for her, he could only imagine what she was going through with a sick child.
Aaron held her until she was finished crying, his suit getting wet with her tears, but he didn't care, he just wanted to be there for her, he just held her, shushing her tenderly and rubbing her back gently. He knew she just needed to let everything out; she had a lot going on, and while he couldn't do much for her, letting her cry in his arms was just what she needed. When she finally calmed down, he wiped her face and eyes tenderly, kissing her lips lightly.
"I'm here for you, whatever it is that you need, just tell me please."
"Thank you." Emily said, grasping his hands and lacing their finger together.
"Can I ask you something a little personal?" His voice was soft and gentle.
"Sure, what is it?"
"What about Bay's father, why isn't he here with you?" Emily's heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest…she got very uncomfortable and nervous, and she was sure she was going to have a heart attack.
"It's a very long story, I...just...it's kind of my fault he isn't here right now. It really is a very long story." She said nervously…she didn't know what to say.
"Well, whatever the reason, he should be here, no matter what happened, he should be here for her." Emily felt very guilty now, it was all her fault Bay's father wasn't there because of her stupid fault and because he didn't know he had a daughter in the first place! She really hated herself for doing this. Max, on the other hand, had actually tried to help and to be there. As much as he hated Emily and what she had done, he would always care for Bay; he had come to visit Bay a few times, and he always called her at the hospital. Emily didn't really speak much to him, unless it was to update him on Bay's treatment, but he called to speak with Bay and to show his concern for her.
"I have to go." She said, moving away from his embrace nervously…she couldn't look at his eyes any longer and lie to him.
"Thank you for everything." She said, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
"I really mean it, thank you for everything, for being here...and for listening...you have no idea how much I appreciate it." Emily said softly.
"I'll always be here for you." Aaron kissed her forehead and then pulled her to him for another hug and helped her into her coat and walked her down to her car.
"Call me if you need anything, sweetheart, please." He offered sweetly.
"I will, I promise you...thank you, Aaron." Placing one last kiss on his cheek, she got in her car and drove away. She had been so close to being exposed about her secret; she knew she couldn't hide this much longer…Aaron needed to know, he deserved to know, he was a good man, and Emily was sure he would be an excellent father for Bay. Perhaps, he would understand why she did what she did, she just needed to find a way to tell him and tell him soon.
A few days after that, Aaron found himself walking into the hospital one more time, he knew Emily was having a late meeting with the FBI Directors, and he also knew he would have an opportunity to visit Bay since there wasn't anyone else who was going to be visiting the little girl for the next couple of hours. He knew he didn't have any right to do this, but he wanted to help even if it was behind Emily's back. He just wanted to do anything he could to help and possibly ease her mind. He found himself walking into Bay's room that afternoon while Bay was watching television.
"Hi." He said, smiling softly at the little girl.
"Michael, you came again!" Bay's face lit up completely. She had become good friends with him, and she liked it a lot when he visited her.
"I did, I wanted to see how are you were doing." He said, sitting down next to the edge of the bed.
"I brought you another little gift." He handed her the soft white and blue horse. It was a little bigger than the other ones he had gotten her, but by now he knew she loved horses of every kind, and she had a collection of them.
"Thank you, it is so pretty, thank you so much." Bay said, hugging Aaron.
"You're welcome, sweetheart, how are you feeling?"
"I'm good, my tummy hurts but not too much." Bay said, sitting up in the bed.
"I came to visit you because I want to talk to you about something." Aaron smiled, Bay nodded, looking at him with her chocolate brown eyes that made him so curious at times.
"See, a little birdie friend told me you got into a fight with your mommy the other night." Bay looked at him in shock at first, but then she nodded and look down with a small pout formed on her lips.
"Are you mad at me for that?" She asked sadly.
"No, sweetheart, I'm not, but you hurt your mommy very much, and you made her really sad." He explained, lifting her little face gently making her look at him.
"But, I didn't mean what I said."
"I know you didn't, because you are a very good girl, and you have an amazing heart."
"I want to show you something, okay?" Aaron asked.
"Can you cut one of the petals on the flower for me?" Bay did as he asked and then he instructed her to cut another one, so she did.
"Okay, now can you put the petals back on the flower for me?" He instructed gently, watching Bay struggle to put the flower back together.
"I can't, they won't stay back together, and it's broken now." Bay said, looking at him.
"I know, see, something like this is what happens when you say hurtful things to someone one you love. You hurt their feelings and sometimes it can't be fixed, even if we try. That's why we have to be careful with what we say even when we're angry, we can hurt someone really badly." Aaron explained.
"But, but I didn't want to hurt my mommy...I love her very much...I don't want her to be broken." Bay said, her lower lip quivering.
"I know, sweetie, you just need to be careful with what you say. Your mommy loves you very much, and she works very hard for you, and she is very worried about you because you're sick, but that's why she has to work...so you can be here with the doctors and they can fix you." Aaron spoke to her very softly and very gently.
"I know you want her to be here, but sometimes she can't...and you know why? Your mommy is also a super hero, and when she is not here, she's out there helping other little kids like you be okay."
"Don't you want your mommy to help other kids?"
"Yes, I do, I know she's a super hero, she puts the bad guys away." Bay finally smiled.
"Yes, she does, so that's why she goes away sometimes, but she loves you very much, Bay, and she's very sad because of the things you said to her."
"I'm sorry, I don't want her to be sad, I don't want my mommy to be hurt, can you tell your birdie friend to tell her that I'm sorry?" She asked sweetly.
"How about you tell her you're sorry and give her a very big hug when she comes back from work." Bay nodded.
"Michael, can I give my mommy the horse, to tell her I'm sorry?" She asked innocently.
"How about you keep the horse, and I'll get you some flowers and you can give her those?" He asked, his dimples deeply showing.
"Yay, she likes flowers!" Bay said happily, smiling widely. Aaron went in to the gift shop and got a nice bouquet of flowers for Emily. He then helped the little girl put her name on the card and after he spent a little bit more time with her, he left before Emily returned and found him there. He felt bad for sneaking in like that to see her daughter, but he simply couldn't help himself, he had fallen in love with the little girl.
Emily returned about a half hour later, and when she walked into the room, Bay was finishing her dinner with one of the nurses. Emily thanked the nurse and after the nurse left, she sat down on the bed next to her daughter pulling her close. Her eyes fell on the flowers on the side table…by now Emily was used to seeing Bay's gifts in the room since her friends always brought her stuff, and so did her mother, so she smiled softly.
"These are new, right baby? Who gave you these ones?" She asked, brushing her fingers softly on the petals of the beautiful bouquet.
"They're not for me, they're for you, mommy." Bay smiled…Emily was in shock.
"For me? Who brought them?"
"Me? She said sweetly. Emily smiled, astonished and amused.
You got me the flowers?" She laughed.
"Yes, I'm sorry for the things I said, I don't hate you, mommy. I'm sorry I said that, can you forgive me?" Bay asked, with a small pout. Emily's eyes watered, and she picked up her daughter, hugging her close.
"Oh baby, I know you didn't mean it, sweetie, its okay." Emily felt like crying.
"I'm very sorry, mommy, I don't want to hurt you…never." Bay said, in her mother's arms.
"I know my love, its okay, baby." Emily kissed her and hugged her as close as she could.
"Who gave you the flowers, Bay?" Emily asked curiously, with her daughter still in her arms.
"Michael, my friend I told you about." Bay explained, like it was a normal thing. Emily sat her back on the bed.
"Bay, who is this Michael guy...how do you know him? You know you can't be talking to strangers, sweetie. I've told you that many times." Emily said, a little concerned.
"But, he's not a stranger, mommy, he's my friend, and he's a good guy." Bay said, convinced.
"How do you know he's a good guy, baby, we don't even know who he is?" Emily was really beginning to worry about this mystery friend. She didn't know who he was and that really scared her, the doctor keep saying it was probably one of the nurses in the hospital, but she was beginning to get worried.
"Because he is good, he helps people, and he does good things, bad guys don't do that." Bay reasoned.
"What do you mean he helps people?" Emily asked
"Well, he works helping people that need him, so that makes him a good guy, and he brings me gifts and makes me smile." Emily watched as her daughter talked about this Michael guy…he did bring her gifts, and she noticed every time he came, Bay was very happy, but she didn't know who he was, and that really worried her.
"And he told me I have to be nice to you and love you." Bay added, while smiling.
"He told you that?" Emily arched her eyebrows.
"Yes, and then he got the flowers because he said they would make you smile, he's not a bad guy, mommy, and he's pretty." She smiled.
"Pretty, what do you mean, pretty?" Now, it was Emily who was the one that was smiling widely.
"Like Cinderella's prince, he's pretty." Emily burst into laughter.
"You mean he's cute?" She asked, amused.
"Yes, and he smells good." Bay said with a big grin, Emily couldn't help the big smile on her face.
"Okay, do you think I can meet this Michael friend of yours, please?" She asked, kissing her daughter's forehead.
"Yes, I'll tell you when he comes next time, may we watch the movie now?" Bay asked, pointing to the television.
"Of course, baby." Emily settled with her daughter on the bed…her eyes still on the flowers. Who was this Michael guy...she was very curious...she wanted to know who he was, and why he was bringing gifts to Bay and doing all these things for her.
