Unforgettable Nights, Unforgivable Mistakes
Chapter 20: Forced Confessions
Dave watched as her facial expression changed. He knew Emily very well, better than she probably knew herself, he also knew Aaron, and he knew that something had happened between them. He had always had a feeling, and his suspicions got confirmed a while ago, but he needed to make sure, he needed to be certain that what he was thinking was the truth.
"Can I ask you a question?" He asked, pulling her back from her thoughts.
"Of course." She replied.
"Why did you really move back, the hospital quality…I get that, but is there another reason?" He asked, crossing his legs and lacing his fingers together.
"There are a lot of reasons, many of which I can't tell you, it's too complicated." She said, looking away from him thinking about her own mess of lies and hidden secrets.
"He's Bay's fathers, isn't he?" Dave asked, causing her to almost drop the cup of coffee she was holding in her hand.
Emily placed the cup of coffee on the side table and stood up from the sofa and walked toward the window nervously avoiding Dave's gaze...her secret was out, she couldn't hide it anymore, and she knew if there was someone she couldn't lie to, it was Dave. She watched through the window at the dark night; she wanted to run away and disappear, but she couldn't, all her lies were finally catching up with her. Dave came from behind her and placed his hands softly on her arms because he didn't want to scare her.
"Em?" He called softly.
"You have to promise me you won't tell anyone about this, Dave. I can't tell anyone yet. It's too complicated." She said, as her eyes filled with tears.
"Emily, I'm not here to judge you, or to put you on trial, I'm here as your friend, you know you can count on me." He said gently, looking at her.
Emily just looked at him as tears rolled down her face, unable to utter a single word.
"Why don't you come and sit down." He gently took her hand and led her to the sofa.
They sat on the sofa but Emily couldn't face him, and she grasped her hands nervously.
"How did you?..." She asked after a while.
"You aren't all that hard to profile, Em, neither is Aaron." He said softly.
"I always suspected there was something between you two. The night you left, I could see Aaron's eyes all over you. I've never seen him look at anyone the way he was looking at you." He explained, and Emily finally raised her eyes to his level.
"That night, he offered to drive you back to your hotel, and I knew something had changed between you two...he returned to work a different person. I never saw him act like that. He was angry all the time, acting reckless and snapping at everyone. When you announced you were getting married, things got even worse. He was never the same after that." Emily listened to him, astonished.
"Then you returned, and I saw it again, how affected he was by your presence. I can put two and two together, I could see it in both your eyes."
"Then I met your daughter, and although I had seen pictures of her, I always had my doubts, but when I actually met her and interacted with her, I saw it all...not only the dimples or the eyes...Emily...she is the living picture of Aaron Hotchner. She has the same frown, the same smile, God, even when she laughs, I see Aaron." Dave said, smiling lightly at the stunned brunette.
"Dave, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone about this, especially not Aaron, please." She begged.
"Of course not, Emily, it's not my story to tell, although I do think he deserves to know."
"He doesn't care, Dave, he never did." Emily reiterated.
"How do you know, she's his daughter, Emily, you can't hide her from him." She shook her head, as tears rolled down her face.
"No, Dave, all of this...me...her, has always been a game...all of it, and he is the biggest mistake I ever made." She said, looking down unable to look at him anymore.
"What happened?" Dave asked, gently taking her hand.
"When, now? Or, four years ago?" She asked, smirking.
"Whatever you want to tell me." Emily exhaled, as much as she hated that her secret was out, she felt kind of relieved that she was finally able to get it out after all this years.
"We were drunk, Dave, the night I left, I don't even know how it started. I guess I can start by him kissing me in the parking lot of the club...after that, it's all a big blur. I don't remember much, we went back to my hotel, and we drank some more, then we slept together. The next morning, I was so embarrassed and confused that I just left before he woke up." Emily paused for a second.
"Why did you leave, why not face him?" Dave questioned.
"I couldn't, I knew that night was just alcohol and sex for him; we hated each other for three years, and I knew that night meant nothing to him, so I didn't want to stay and have to deal with the embarrassment of him telling me it was a mistake and that he regretted it." She didn't even bother anymore as tears ran freely from her eyes, she hated to cry but Dave was her friend, and she knew he would never judge her.
"When I got back to London, I ran into my former fiance, Max...I needed a way to get Aaron out of my head...to forget about him...and I started a relationship with Max."
"You were in love with him, weren't you?" She proceeded to talk without answering his question. He finally got to fully understand her side, and it really pained him to see her hurting.
"When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't really think of Aaron at first, it took me so many years to get pregnant even when I wanted a baby really badly, and the doctor had said I could never conceive, so when I found out about Bay, I was already being intimate with Max, so I just assumed Bay was his." She explained, wiping her eyes.
"When did you know for sure?" Dave asked her gently.
"When she was born, but by then I had already married Max and my own mess of lies made me just keep up that masquerade. I knew Aaron would never care for her or me so I didn't want to hurt anyone especially not Max."
"I know it's selfish." She explained, as Dave gave her a questioning look.
"Back then, it was the only thing that made sense...I wanted to protect her...I wanted to give her a safe, loving home with a father that truly wanted her."
"Emily, I really do understand where you're coming from, but you can't just assume that Aaron wouldn't want her, even if that night was a mistake, he would have never walked away on his child...I know that...because I know him, more than you will ever know him."
"I know that now, Dave, I want to tell him, I really do. I just don't know how and right now, I don't even think it matters."
"What happened tonight, Em?"
"Nothing, just that I'm an idiot, I thought he really cared and loved me the way he said he did, and once again, I fell into his game...he used me again. He has a girlfriend, and I'm an idiot!"
"What are you talking about?"
"His girlfriend showed up at the BAU today." She said as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Beth?" Emily just nodded.
"I thought they were over." Dave said, looking at her sadly.
"Well, apparently not." She said sadly.
"I'm so sorry, Emily, I never thought Aaron would do something like that, I didn't think he was capable of doing this." He was in shock, too.
"I never thought he was capable of many things, but he obviously was." She said, standing up from the sofa.
"It doesn't matter, Dave, it was for the best, I really need to focus my life on her and her recovery and that's all. She really is the most important thing for me." She said, looking in the direction where her baby girl was sleeping.
"You know I'm here for anything you need, or anything Bay needs." Dave said, standing up from the sofa and pulling Emily into a hug.
"I know, Dave, thank you for being here and for everything you've done for us."
"Emily, I hate that you are going through all of this, but I do think he deserves to know regardless of what he has done. Bay is his daughter, Emily, you can't hide that from him forever." He said gently, looking in her eyes deeply.
"I'll tell him, I just need to find a way." She said tiredly.
"The longer you wait, the harder it will be." Dave said, walking towards the door and waving his hand goodbye.
Emily just stood there looking at the empty space from where Dave had just walked out, her head was pounding, and she was exhausted. She needed to close her eyes for a moment and forget that day even happened. She sat by the window with a blanket over her lap as silent tears rolled down her face. Why did she had to love Aaron so much, why had she been so stupid to believe on him, why did he hated her so much as to play with her the way he had. She hated to cry over a man like this; she hadn't actually cried like that for a man since high school, and back then she was a stupid, naïve teenager who didn't know any better, but now she was a grown woman, who was supposed to be mature enough to not be fooled by a man, and be played with, but no, she was careless and stupid, and she let her heart get involved and now, here she was crying and feeling sorry for herself for being so stupid and letting someone play with her feelings.
She wiped her eyes with the blanket knowing she had to be stronger than this and forget about Aaron Hotchner once and for all. She needed to focus on the little girl lying in the bed and dedicate the rest of her life to her. Emily knew Bay wasn't doing very well, she was starting to lose her beautiful hair already, and she knew the chemotherapy wasn't working they way it should. Maybe rather than being focused on her stupid and pathetic romantic life, she should focus on her daughter, and that was it. So, Emily vowed to herself she would focus on Bay only and get Aaron Hotchner out of her mind once and for all. She fell asleep on the chair that night, hoping things would get better soon, and hoping she would have the strength to face him everyday at work.
The next day, Emily woke up early to help Bay take a shower and spend some time with her before she had to go to work. She changed her baby girl into fresh new clothes and was sitting with her on her lap on the sofa feeding her oatmeal and watching a cartoon with her when Dr. Bergman walked in with one of the nurses.
"Good morning, Miss Prentiss." He said politely.
"Good morning, Dr. Bergman." Emily smiled.
"Good morning, sweetheart, how are you feeling today?" He asked, getting on his knees in front of Bay.
"Hi." Bay said tiredly, she was still worn out from the night before.
"Sorry to bother you, I was wondering if I may speak with you, Miss Prentiss." He said, in a tone that worried Emily. She looked at her daughter and the plate she was trying to feed her from, then back at the doctor.
"It's okay, Nurse Amy can stay with Bay, I was wondering if we may talk in my office." He said seriously.
"Ummm, okay, yes of course." Emily said, handing the oatmeal bowl to the nurse and then passing Bay from her lap to the nurse's arms.
"Mommy will be right back, okay, sweetheart?" She kissed Bay's forehead and followed Dr. Bergman to his office. She could see the tension in his eyes, and she was worried...she had a feeling that whatever it was he was about to say, it wasn't going to be good news.
"Come on in, Ms. Prentiss, sit down, please."
Emily nodded and took a sit in front of the doctor, he watched him sit down in front of her and she was sure that her suspicions where right and he was bout to deliver bad news.
"As you know, we've given Bay several rounds of chemotherapy hoping that it would kill the cancer cells." He explained...Emily just listened quietly, feeling the knot in her stomach grow.
"Unfortunately, we haven't gotten the result we were hoping for." Hearing that, Emily's heart dropped, and she had difficulty breathing.
"What do you mean?" She asked with a dry, raspy voice.
"The chemotherapy isn't working, the cancer cells keep growing, and there is no point in continuing to submit Bay to the pain and side effects of chemo when it isn't helping her." He explained.
"Then what can we do, I mean, there has to be something else, right?" She asked in a cracked voice with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"There are more options, yes, but with Bay's age and stage of cancer, we're talking about a lot of risk...if they don't work...the way we need them to work..."
"Then what do I do, you can't just let her die...you promise me you can help her...you have to!" Emily screamed, getting up from her chair.
"Ms. Prentiss, please calm down, please, let me explain this to you."
"Explain what! You can't just tell me you are giving up on my daughter...you can't...I won't allow it!" She screamed angrily.
"I'm not giving up on your daughter, Ms. Prentiss, there is another choice." ...Trying to make Emily calm down.
"Tell me what the choice is!" She snarled angrily.
"Please sit down so we can discuss it."
Emily whipped her eyes angrily and did as the doctor asked her.
"I have talked to other colleagues, and we all agree at this point, our best option would be a bone marrow transplant." Dr. Bergman explained gently.
"Okay, so let's do it! Let's go for it!" Emily did not hesitate.
"It's not that easy." Dr. Bergman explained.
"I don't care about the price, I have the money, my mother will help, too. It doesn't matter what the price is."
"This isn't about a monetary sum, Ms. Prentiss, that's the least important thing." He explained patiently.
"Then what is it? I'll do anything it takes." She cried.
"We first need to find a donor for the bone marrow."
"I'll do it, I'll donate anything for her."
"I know you will, but that doesn't mean you'll be a matching donor." He reasoned.
"I'm her mother, of course I am." She retorted angrily.
"Yes, you are, however, it's more complicated than that. Human leukocyte antigens are specific proteins on the surface of white blood cells and other cells. The combination of these proteins make each person's tissue type unique. HLA typing is a special blood test that identifies these proteins. A successful bone marrow transplant requires the donation of near-perfect, HLA-matched bone marrow." He explained.
"Okay, so then you can test if I can be a donor, right? If I'm not, we can move on from there." She said, desperately.
"Yes, we'll do that, however, I do want you to understand if you don't turn out to be a matching donor, we might have to consider other relatives, or anyone else who is willing to be a donor for Bay."
"Okay." Emily said, as tears rolled down her cheeks.
Ms. Prentiss, I need you to contact whomever it is that you think can be a donor for Bay. In the meantime, we'll do what we can. I'll also put you on the donors list, but I have to be honest with you about that...it might take years before we find a donor for her." Emily listened in shock, this couldn't be true, this had to be a lie!
"We'll find someone, who else can be a donor for her?" She asked in a shaky voice.
"Anyone that has a genetic connection to her, siblings, grandparents...what about Bay's father, would he be willing to get tested?" Dr. Bergman asked.
"I don't know." She said, because she didn't know what to say.
"Well, you might want to contact him...honestly, if you aren't a match, he is probably the best option we have."
Emily nodded, all of a sudden, she couldn't process, or think anymore, her ears were buzzing and she felt sick.
