What is our purpose in life? We strive to find that out for ourselves while we exist upon the Earth. Even then, we may never discover it. Why bother trying if it's a fruitless task in the end?

I used to wonder what my place in the world would be. I dreamt big like any kid would. I wanted to be an astronaut one week and the president of the United States the next. I thought that anything was possible. I didn't understand the concept of responsibilities. I couldn't comprehend the severity of losing a parent in a society that freaked over the slightest thing when it concerned children. I didn't realize one wrong move could lead to me being taken away from my mother. I didn't realize that the stigma of being a bastard living with a single mother would dictate my life.

The world is cruel. I recognized that once I was old enough to know that people were assholes. Selfish, greedy fucks that always want more and think the universe revolves around them. To err is human, but forgiveness is not so easily given. People don't forget the past when they've been wronged. That stain is always there. Eventually, it adds up until your soul is as dark as the night.

How long would it be before my soul becomes completely black?

Every day, I lost a little more of myself. Human life no longer had the same hallowed light I used to honor. It becomes easier to dispose of your targets when you realize they're all just sacks of flesh and blood. There's nothing special about any of them. They may look and act different, but inside everyone is exactly the same. We are mortal and that is why everyone eventually dies in the end. It's just a matter of which method you'd like when you finally left this life.

I wondered what Mom would say if she saw the monster I had become? I wouldn't have denied it. Sensei had taught me many things; one of which was that mercy was for the weak. That's why Mom was weak. That's why Dad left her. She was too soft. At least, that's what Sensei told me.

"Why did you leave?" I asked the massive statue before me. "I want to hear it from you."

The harsh pounding of the waterfall was my only answer. I let out a heavy sigh, letting myself fall over on the head of my father. It was probably a reckless move to come here, being so close to Konoha and all. But as soon as I heard about the statues, I knew I had to find them and see them for myself. A small part of me wished the figures could talk. They must have seen much since they were erected almost a century ago. It was through that bit of information from Sensei that I realized that time passed differently between this world and mine. Even if he had survived the fight that created this massive crater, he would have passed away by old age by now.

I didn't even know him, yet it hurt to think about him. All the possible scenarios flew through my mind. How did it feel to leave someone he loved dearly behind, knowing he would probably never see her again? How did he find the courage to abandon everything and pursue a seemingly impossible goal? Did he suffer; slowly dying on the ground, killed by the person he once considered an ally?

Would he have wanted me?

For as long as I could remember, I was jealous of all the kids around me because they had something I didn't. They knew the simple joys of playing baseball and watching Star Wars with their dads. To boys, their fathers were their idols. I didn't have that pleasure, but I desperately wanted it. It was the one person other than my mother that I needed. I would ask for a dad every Christmas, but to no avail. It became clear to me as I got older that such a simple wish would never come true until my mother got over her loss and started looking for someone to fill the void in her heart. She never did.

I glared at the other statue, cursing Hashirama Senju for ever existing. He should have been the one to suffer. I stood up, eyes bleeding into red. It was only yesterday when my Sharingan had fully matured after months of training. It was pointless to have it on now, but I felt a little bit closer to my lineage whenever it was activated; just a tad nearer to the father forever out of my reach.

"There you are."

I didn't have to turn around to know that Sensei had appeared behind me using that nifty space-time ninjutsu of his. I could feel his single Sharingan drilling into the back of my head. I had no doubt that he was ready to take me to whoever the "Akatsuki" were. I vaguely remember Marie blathering on about zombies, shark-weasels, and art when it came to those guys. I wasn't looking forward to meeting them based on what little information I did know.

"You are a fool," Tobi snapped at me. "You'd risk revealing yourself to the enemy just for a little sightseeing?"

"I'm taking things into perspective," I told him. "The Valley of the End…it's amazing. I had no idea Madara and Hashirama were this powerful."

"Did I not tell you? They were the strongest shinobi to ever live and no one has ever been able to rival their power since."

"Sensei? I am my father's son. At times like these, I feel like I don't deserve to be. I'll never be worthy of the Uchiha name if I can't even scratch the bare minimum of Madara's strength."

"You'll get there…in time. After all, your true test has yet to come."

I didn't like the sound of that. "Test? So there was a legit reason you drove me into the ground every day?"

"We are on the cusp of war," Tobi answered. "I don't have much time left to continue your training. You must reach the last step now. If you do not, you will not survive the battlefront."

"And the last step is…?"

Before my eyes, a face I had not seen in months appeared through his eyehole. I felt a lump in my throat as Marie hit the ground face first. She looked like she had seen better days. She was so much thinner than before. Her hair was a matted mess and she smelled like she hadn't taken a bath in ages. She painfully lifted her head, her confused eyes lighting up in joy as soon as she saw me.

"Zuzu!" she cried, tears now streaming down her face as she found the strength to fling herself at me. "Oh god, I'm so happy to see you! You're alive!"

I was too much in shock to answer. It felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off my soul. I had forgotten what a hug felt like. It was amazing how hearing the voice of someone you cared about could bring out the best in you when you felt like you were at your lowest. I hadn't felt this happy in so long. I had no qualms about embracing her right there. I didn't want to let her go. If I did, she'd be taken away again.

I spotted disappointment in Sensei's visible eye and it made my gut coil up inside. He forced us apart, throwing Marie to the ground. She winced at the harsh treatment, looking up in fear at the man before her. He turned back to me, thrusting a kunai into my hand.

"Kill her."

We both felt like the world stood still when the words were spoken. The sheer terror in Marie's eyes broke my heart. I had killed before, but I did not personally know those people. This was completely different. This wasn't some stranger. This was someone I considered my sister. This was someone I had willingly killed for. This was someone I was fighting the evils of this world for. I gave up everything I was so I could protect her, not kill her. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"It is a simple order. Do not make me repeat myself."

"I refuse!" I yelled. "Don't make me do this. Not to Marie."

"If it was for the sake of his dream, Madara would have done it in a heartbeat."

"Don't bring him into this. I'm not my father and I probably never will be. Marie is one of the reasons I followed your every order and trained under you. I want to bring peace to this world just as much as you, but she doesn't need to be a sacrifice for that peace! Unlike the Konoha scum, she hasn't done anything wrong!"

He sighed. "Then you leave me no choice. This is for your own good."

It all happened in the span of a few seconds. I saw everything and it was imprinted forever in my mind. I saw Tobi take out another kunai. Marie wasn't even allowed the chance to scream as the blade cut cleanly through her back, piercing through her chest. The slightest dribble of blood was trailing out of her mouth. Red spilled and coated the rock in a thick pool. He quickly retracted the kunai, kicking her off and letting her fall into the lake right next to us. I wished I hadn't looked over the edge to find her body floating like a log, vermilion bleeding into the cool blue surface of the water. I felt myself falling to my knees.

She won't go away. I can hear her voice asking me why. I see her cold eyes on me. I feel her sorrow dig into my soul. The claws are tearing away at me, piece by piece. I can hear the screaming. My heart wants to burst. I can't breathe. Acid is in my eyes. The burning refuses end. The pain doesn't go away. I want it to stop. I want to everything to stop. I want to die.

"The final stage has been reached. As the agony washes over you, it awakens a far greater power. The loss of love transforms into a greater hatred and the Uchiha's visual prowess increases substantially."

Please…stop.

"Your visual prowess has advanced as far as it can go. Use it wisely."

STOP.

"Otherwise, the world before you will fade into the oblivion that girl has now joined."

The explosion couldn't be contained. "STOP IT!"

No more. I didn't want to hear anything else. Thankfully he had ceased talking, though the burning in my eyes intensified. It hurt so badly. Something leaked out of my left eye, mixing with the tears that were still falling down my face. The void Marie left was eating away at me. All I was left with was pain and a sudden bout of exhaustion. Was this my punishment for taking so many lives or was it for disobeying orders? I didn't know what to believe. I never felt more lost than at that moment.

I knew this much: whatever I did was futile. If I disobeyed, he'd kill my mother next. If I did obey, he'd order me to kill her simply for his own personal pleasure. I couldn't escape. I had fallen into the abyss and there was no crawling back out.

"Interesting…" Tobi finally said after his odd bout of silence. "That Mangekyou ability…might just be what I've needed all along."

Mangekyou? I didn't know what that was and a part of me refused to ask about it. I couldn't keep myself anchored in reality. The torture was too much. That was the first time I graciously welcomed that peaceful darkness with open arms.


When I woke up, I wondered if what I was feeling was akin to having a hangover. I felt sick to my stomach and it felt like my last meal wanted out. My head throbbed in rhythm with my pulse and the world was spinning. The only tangible thing I felt was a cool cloth placed on my forehead accompanied by a…pressure?

I blinked my eyes several times, trying to clear the fogginess away. I spotted someone standing over me wearing a black cloak with red splotches on it. Traveling upwards, I saw long hair and feminine features. I saw her face. The crisp memory replayed in my mind and I felt hell descend upon me again.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled as I pushed the woman away.

"YOU ASS!" an angry voice shrieked as I felt a fist slam into my cheek.

I blinked, realizing my vision had cleared up. That was one way to wake someone up. Now that I could see, I observed the person before me. She was a pissed off redhead. A gorgeous pissed off redhead wearing glasses that looked ready to gut me open for my earlier stunt.

"I'm trying to help you, moron!" she snapped. "Try something like that again and I'll kick your—"

"Who are you?" I interrupted. Honestly, that was the first thing I wanted to know. I had never seen her before.

She huffed. "My name is Karin. That swirly-masked freak that Sasuke is working with asked me to stay and look after you. The only reason I'm not going off to help Sasuke—"

"Who's Sasuke?"

"Sasuke Uchiha! International S-ranked criminal? Last survivor of the Uchiha Clan? Are you braindead or what!?"

Okay, I remembered there was a connection between Sasuke and duck butts. Other than that, I didn't really know much else. If he was an Uchiha, didn't that make him my cousin to some extent? Clan relations are weird.

I made a move to stand up, but nausea worked against me and forced me to flop back down on the mattress. I still felt drained, which perplexed me. I didn't do anything strenuous nor did I expend a lot of chakra for anything. I didn't have the chance to think about it when an arm was thrust in front of me, disrupting my thought process. I eyed the many teeth-shaped scars with suspicion. If she let people bite her that much, was this girl some prostitute in disguise?

"Bite down and suck," she ordered.

"Hell no!" I yelled, sincerely grossed out at that point. "Find your pimp Sasuke and get him to find people to do that!"

"EW! How could you even THINK that!?"

"This is a very provocative situation; that's why!"

"Look, ya Sasuke phony—"

"I ain't copying that cunt Sasuke!"

"QUIT INTERRUPTING ME!"

"MAKE ME!"

She shoved her arm into my mouth, forcing me to shut up. "There. Now get those sick images out of your head, bite down, and suck. Your chakra's been heavily depleted. I'm graciously giving you some of mine to replenish it."

This was by far the strangest situation I had ever been forced into. If I rebelled, I had a good feeling I'd be "force fed" in some way. I didn't want to think about what she'd try to do that. Reluctantly, my face turning beet red, I did what she told me. It was a weird sensation. It was like drinking soup, only it was chakra-soup instead of soup-soup. It filled me up, touching my very core with a light and warm feeling. When I pulled away, I felt revitalized. Any trace of exhaustion was gone. Karin covered her arm, still giving me a glower that would send puppies running.

"Alright, it's time for compensation. I wanna know who you are, what your relationship with that masked geek is, what his real plan is, and why you look like Sasuke if you're not trying to copy him."

Well shit. I owed her for helping me. The natural thing to do would be to give her what she wanted, no questions asked. Time to find creative ways to tell the truth.

"My name is Izuna," I began. "The masked guy is my sensei, he wants world peace, and I look like this because I was born this way, baby."

She scowled. "You jerk…"

"It's the truth. You can't hold it against me," I said with a sly smirk.

"I can hold the name 'Marie' against you. You were shouting her name constantly. Poor baby can't live without his girlfriend?"

I cringed at the name. No. It came back again. The memory played once again like a reel. I felt sick as I saw her death once more with the realization that I did nothing to help her. I placed a hand over my eyes, turning to face the wall in order to hide the forming tears from Karin. Taking several deep breaths, I tried to overcome the pain that was building up.

Everything that had happened was my fault. Because I was an Uchiha, I was forced to become a murderer. Because I was Madara's son, Tobi took interest in me. Because I existed, my best friend was dead. If I wasn't careful, my mother could suffer the same fate.

Hands were placed on my shaking shoulders. It was a presence I accepted wholeheartedly. I needed someone there, even if said person hated my guts. Someone to be my anchor in the raging waves of emotion that crashed into me. For a moment, I imagined Marie was the one behind me. She always had my back. She was always there to pick me up with her stupid fascination in Japanese anime and Korean boy band music. I wouldn't have minded if she burst out into song right then. At least she would've been alive. But now that support was gone and what was left would send me tumbling down if I lost it.

"Izuna."

I felt chills travel up my spine. I recognized Black Zetsu's voice immediately. I slowly pulled away from the wall, spotting the thing creeping through the floor. He always freaked me out. I liked his White half so much more.

"Zetsu," I greeted. "What do you want? Or were you just using me as an excuse to look at Karin's legs?"

"Classy," it sarcastically derided. "Tobi wishes to speak with you."

"I have nothing to say to him."

"You don't have a choice in the matter. You wouldn't want anything…unfortunate to happen to the last one, would you?"

Fuck these guys.

Grudgingly, I grabbed my stuff and stormed out the door. I quickly activated my Sharingan so I could find Tobi in that massive place. I eventually found him sitting at a table, patiently waiting for me. I could feel anger and hatred bubble in my chest. I had to fight the urge to charge at him. He would see it coming a mile away.

"You've recovered. Good," Tobi noted. "That makes things easier for me."

I bristled. "To take what little I have left and destroy my life?"

"I told you that the girl's death was necessary. It is only through tremendous loss that the true power of the Sharingan can be awakened."

"Marie's life was not worth gaining more power!"

"Izuna, do you not remember our plan?"

"Project Tsuki no Me. The Eternal Tsukuyomi that will create a new world for humanity."

"You weren't listening much that day, were you?" Tobi stated, sounding slightly amused. "I'm not surprised. You never do exactly as you're told."

"So what? All I needed to know was that it can bring peace."

"Yes, it can. Hatred and war will cease to exist, but that is not all it can do. I promised you that you would be reunited with your father, did I not?"

"I thought it was an empty promise…"

"The Eternal Tsukuyomi can grant life to the ones lost to us. That ideal life you've always dreamed of will become a reality. Your father, mother, and Marie will be there waiting for you. That perfect world can be made for everyone, but it cannot become a reality if you do not stay focused on the tasks at hand. Do not lose sight of what you are truly fighting for, Izuna."

"Wait. When you say my mother will be waiting with my father and Marie…you don't mean she's…?"

"It was not my doing. She took her own life, but not before cursing your existence once she learned what you were doing. What a horrid mother…"

The void had expanded. The last support crumbled to dust, leaving me to fall down into the depths of hell. I wanted to believe that it was a lie, but Tobi had never lied to me before. He was all about the cold, hard truth. When I realized that, I knew there was no point to my life. The world hated me and the feeling was mutual. Yet, it was in that moment of desperation and hopelessness when I found it. I saw the world for what it was with a stunning clarity I had never experienced before. Naivety had blinded me for so long and it took those terrible losses to make me understand what I had to do.

The answer was in front of me the moment Tobi began my training. I was too much of a fool recognize that he had been trying to help me see the flaws of the world through my own imperfections. I recognized that my flaws all stemmed from one thing: the power of free will. It drove me to do things I would regret. It allowed people to choose to go to war, to dictate that taking human lives was justifiable. Free will was the blight of the earth and it needed to be eliminated in order for peace to reign supreme.

What is my purpose?

I would be the instrument of God and Judgment Day would come for all of humankind. Sensei would be that God; and I, his right hand. It was time for the filth and muck to return to the earth and start anew.


I'M NOT DEAD YET!

Holy crap, I gotta stop having huge waits between updates! Unfortunately, my muse hopes all over the place and college life gets in the way for the majority of the year. I also blame sheer laziness as well. But hey, at least it wasn't another year. I'm also always trying to improve, so in a way the long waits are a good thing. You get quality chapters (At least I hope they are) for your long waits.

So bad things have happened to my precious cupcake, but are things truly as they seem? You'll have to find out next chapter (which hopefully won't be six months from now)!