Chapter 126: Calming

"The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile." – from the book Apples of Gold

"The rest of our days depends upon the rest of our nights." – from the book Apples of Gold

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person,
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out,
just as they are,
chaff and grain together..." – Dinah Mulock Craik

"She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudness climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes..." – Lord Byron

"Envy and fear cause the face to pale, and love makes it glow." – Paramhansa Yogananda


"I think we should try to help you relax as much as possible," Sydney announced after a few moments of silence.

He looked over at her, seeing the understanding and the love in her eyes. He didn't tell her often how much he truly needed her, but he knew she understood that too. One of her best qualities was her ability to know just what he needed, when he needed it. It was a truly uncanny talent that she had with him, but thinking back, when their roles were largely reversed, he had been able to tell when something was wrong, and what she needed. And they were always willing to mutually give it to each other, whether it was space or a lack thereof.

Tonight, she could see was definitely the later option.

"Hey," she said as he looked at her, not responding to her earlier chide.

He smiled and broke the eye contact momentarily, but then looked back at her, "I…"

"I know Vaughn…it's ok…" she said, smiling softly.

He was about to say something else, but she placed her finger to his lips, "I know what you need, you don't have to ask…"

He smiled softly, relaxing into the pillow and letting Sydney take control. She moved to lie on the bed next to him, reaching her hand out and caressing his cheek as she kissed him gently. She continued on his mouth, and then moved to lavish kisses all over his face, moving herself up slightly to allow her easier access. She thought better of that idea however, and moved to lie on top of him instead. He smiled as he watched her straddle his body, and relished in the feeling of her weight pressing on him. His hand went to her face, stroking her cheek as their eyes pierced into each other's souls.

He let his eyes fall closed as he took in all the sensation as Sydney's mouth moved all over his face. He missed the feeling of her mouth for a few seconds, but then felt her continue on down his neck, nipping at spots and alternating soft kisses and nips to his neck and collarbone before nibbling at his jaw line. She made one continuous line of nips, then licked the path she had just made. She backed off and sat back on him, waiting for him to open his eyes. They opened slowly, looking up at her, questioning. She took his face in her hands and keeping her eyes completely open, kissed him slowly, letting her tongue do all the talking for her. His eyes stayed locked on hers as their tongues dueled gently, their breath becoming one. She let one hand trail up to his hair, running through it gently, while the other trailed down his chest, caressing and kneading gently in an effort to calm his anxiety-ridden body.

She ended the kiss, resting her forehead on his, and then moved her head down until her mouth was level with his ear. She whispered, "It's gonna be ok…" and felt him shiver. She smiled, not knowing if it was the result of her whisper or the result of the impact of her words. She looked back up at him, and he was smiling softly, "Thank you," he said quietly.

She smiled in response and then went back to her task at hand. She spent several more minutes getting to know every crevice of his mouth, every tooth, every bump. When satisfied for time being with that area, she moved outward, kissing his cheeks as she ran her hand absently through his hair again, kissing his nose, his eyelids, his temples, his forehead. By the time she moved away from his face, there wasn't a millimeter she hadn't covered.

He was breathless already, and they hadn't really done anything but kissed. He reached out for her, pulling her back, but she gently placed his hand on her hip and shook her head, "This isn't about me…"

"But Sydney…it has to be about you sometimes…"

"Not tonight Michael," she said sternly, "and it's always about us – both of us…so stop worrying."

She moved back to his neck, suckling on the spot right by his ear, making him buck against her and moan softly. She whispered again, "It's gonna be ok…" before she moved down to lick her way across his collarbone. She continued from the collarbone in a line to his uninjured shoulder and kissed all around the front and side the shoulder, dipping towards the back, and then ran her tongue back up to his neck and past to the other side. She was even gentler on this side, his injured shoulder, but he moaned when she kissed it lightly, placing lots of butterfly kisses all over the whole injured area. She moved gently down his arm and stopped momentarily by his tattoo. She smiled when she thought of it, Michael Vaughn, of all people, with a tattoo. It was something so deliberate, yet he'd be the last person you'd think would have one…so unassuming with his dress shirts and suits to cover it. It was brutally sexy, and she reached out the tip of her tongue to trace the outline of the drawing on his arm. He chuckled when he realized what she was doing, and when she was done, she moved back to sit on him, smiling like the cat that just ate the canary.

"I love your tattoo Vaughn…" Sydney said in a sexy voice.

"You do?" he asked honestly.

"Yes…it's just…unbelievably sexy – it's so…" she giggled, "Well – I mean no one sees it…except me…I love it Vaughn…"

He smiled, "Good…"

She dove back in again, starting from where she left off, and began to kiss a line from one side of his chest to the other. She stopped briefly at a scar almost directly over his heart that was healed over. The mark was still visible, but barely. She traced around it with her tongue before kissing it thoroughly and then looked up at him. He had a glint in his eye, but he didn't say anything, and Sydney didn't either. She smiled softly and continued on her way down.

Next she came into contact with his nipples, and smiled devilishly as she flicked her tongue out against one; while her hand moved down to twist the other.

He hissed in pleasure and pain, and bucked up again. "Sydney…" he breathed.

She smiled but didn't respond, and switched to the other side, giving it the same attention while her hand twisted the other one gently. She looked up at him again; his eyes were transfixed on the ceiling as the feelings shot out though his body. She dove back down and took the nipple between her teeth and nipped and bit down gently.

His hips bucked almost violently off the bed and a long moan erupted from him, a semblance of her name at the end of it. "Sydney…" he finally choked out, "You're killing me here."

She smiled, "I know…" and went back to the other nipple, lavishing the same attention there.

"Sydney…I'm so hard…" he said in a low tone.

She smiled even more, "I know…" and continued as though he hadn't said anything. She moved past his nipples to his the line where the rib wrap met his skin, and she trailed a line of kisses all the way along the line, before venturing further and gently kissing the area covered by the wrap. She was especially careful not to press too hard as she trailed her hands along where she kissed. She fluttered a series of kisses around his stomach, still covered by the wrap and kneaded gently.

His breathing was highly erratic and she knew that he was more than ready, but she wasn't satisfied when there was over half his body to kiss yet.

"Sydney…" he breathed again.

"Yes Michael?" she asked innocently.

His head rose to look down at her and she realized she wanted him to be able to see. She moved up suddenly, making him smile, thinking that the kiss torture was over, but she quickly erased that notion, "Not yet honey…I want you to be able to see," she said as she kissed him languidly for a few moments before moving one of the pillows under his head to prop him up more.

When she was satisfied he had a good view, she smiled, kissed him quickly and went back to her kissing. He let out a groan of frustration, but it turned more into a moan when he felt her hands on his hips and her kisses start below the wrap.

She kissed the line on the bottom of the wrap as she had the top and sucked the flesh on his hips into her mouth slowly and deliberately, alternating between kisses and nips and sucking on the flesh hard enough to leave little red marks.

"Mmm…oh god…" he said, encouraging her further.

She pulled the waistband of his boxers down slightly and snaked her tongue under the area she just uncovered, making him gasp at the contact. She moved back up to his hipbone and kissed there and then moved to the other side to do the same.

She looked up at him and his eyes locked with hers as she took the waistband of his boxers in her hands and slowly peeled them off of the rest of the way. She discarded them and then moved back, seeing his erection standing proud and very, very hard. "I guess you weren't lying," she said with a huge smile.

"Mmm…nope…" he said with a glazed look in his eye.

She spread his legs and sat between them and then moved back to the hip area. She leaned herself down far enough that his erection was trapped between them, the material of her shirt and her hair teasing him incessantly. She went to the edge of the V of his hips and licked from the top all the way until it reached the top of his pubic hair. Then she switched to the other side and repeated the motion, stopping just short of where he wanted her mouth the most.

"God Sydney…please…" he breathed.

"Not yet," she told him as she kissed around his erection, but deliberately missed that most aroused part of his anatomy. She raked her fingernails gently down his thighs as she continued her kisses downward, making him shiver and shudder in response. His moans turned into an almost continuous hum as she switched to the other leg and once again repeated the motion. Past the thighs, she moved to kiss all around both of his kneecaps, dipping her tongue to lick on the back of the kneecaps as well.

He giggled helplessly, "God that tickles…" he said with a smile.

She peered back up at him and then went back, kissing her way down his calves and then finally reaching his ankles and feet. Once she had finished kissing every part of his body she had access too, she moved back and started kissing his ankles, then moved to the calves and then the knees.

At the knees, he couldn't take anymore, "Sydney…I love this…but if you seriously think I'm gonna lie here and let you get like all the way back to my mouth, you're nuts."

She chuckled, "Do you think I would do that?" she asked with a look of shock.

"Yes, you would," he answered confidently.

"You're right, I would…but not tonight…"

He smiled at her understanding.

"But I'm gonna finish this…" she said.

He nodded and she moved back to kiss her way up his thighs, raking her nails in the opposite direction that she had started from.

"Mmm…" he moaned.

She was enjoying this whole kissing thing, and she loved the reactions she elicited from him. She knew he wasn't prepared for what she had planned next, and smiled mischievously as she planned her attack.

She kept up her kisses so he wouldn't notice and risked a glance up at him. He was watching her, but his eyes were closed at the moment. She ran her tongue along the inside of his thighs, making her way back up.

"Sydney, you're driving me insane," he said with eyes clenched tightly.

She waited until she was sure he wasn't looking and then dove in, attaching her mouth to one of his balls, while her hand grabbed the other one. Her other hand was occupied in keeping him somewhat still as he launched himself upward, his back arching painfully.

"Jesus!" he said as he opened his eyes and looked down at her. She was peeking up at him, with her mouth still attached to him, her hand doing wondrous things in a massaging manner.

"Ughn…" was the next statement she managed to get out of him, his hips bucking upward, his erection straining painfully, wanting attention.

She pulled gently on the ball in her hand and sucked hard on the other one. His eyes closed as a new wave of pleasure surged through him. Sydney switched her tactics and took her hands off of him, using only her mouth as she sucked one and then the other into her mouth and then nipped gently. Then she moved her mouth away completely and used only her hands, kneading and tugging at them hard enough to make him squirm, but not enough to hurt him.

Then she stopped…completely.

His eyes shot open as he finally realized a complete lack of her touch. When he opened his eyes, she was smiling at him, now completely naked as well.

"Oh God," he said as he focused on her. His erection grew impossibly larger and she smiled taking his hardness in her hand, gripping him at the base. The pre-come that had seeped out had already started to drip down the side of his shaft, and more oozed out after he saw her. She dipped her head down and licked it all away, licking the side and back up, just like you'd lick a lollipop too large to fit in your mouth.

She stopped, letting it bob for a few seconds and then swooped back down abruptly taking the whole head into her mouth and sucking on the tip extremely roughly. His hips bucked up into her mouth, sending him inside her warm mouth further.

"Sydney…" he breathed in a strained voice, "God…I'm so close…"

She stopped, pulling away from him and letting the head of his cock out of her mouth with an exaggerated pop.

"God, why'd you stop?" he asked confused.

"Because, that's not what you need tonight," she said confidently as she moved up to straddle his hips, "Blow jobs are nice Vaughn, but I don't think that's the intimacy we're going for…" she added softly.

He nodded and watched from his vantage point as she moved to take him inside her. He reached a hand down and took himself in his hand. She smiled as she lowered herself, easing onto him and holding onto the hand that was holding himself.

He smiled, "You're so wet…"

"Well, I think that whole kissing thing sort of turned me on as much as it did you…" she said seductively.

"Good…" he said softly.

She lowered herself slowly, taking him inside her at a deliriously leisurely pace. She was so wet, that he slid in with no resistance, her juices began leaking out and coating his balls the second they made intimate contact. He couldn't have formed words at that moment if his life depended on it. He felt himself sliding home, where he needed to be most. Sydney had been right, blowjobs from her were great, but it was when he was inside her that he felt the safest, the most at home, and there was nothing compared to being inside her. He opened his eyes, looking up at her as she sat perched on top of him, letting him slowly inside, almost all the way. He waited until he felt her give way, his cock sliding past her cervix with little resistance and then he reached out for her. She saw him reach and knew instantly what he needed. She smiled and lowered her body down until she was laying on him as apposed to sitting. This position didn't offer her as much freedom to move, but it was closer, and close was what he needed. She touched his cheek as her forehead came to rest on his, he looked up at her, and she realized that he wasn't at his most vulnerable when he was with Barnett or even with Sloane when he was being tortured, this was him at his most vulnerable. She was responsible for his soul…she smiled because she must have been doing a pretty good job. He smiled warmly back at her as he took over some of the thrusting, pushing himself into her, sending his cock deep into her walls, feeling them tremble as she worked her muscles around him. She moved slightly, keeping her forehead connected with his, and her hands pressing lightly on his abs, and worked herself up and down on his shaft. His eyes closed again as he felt the friction of her movements, sending him in and out of her at more of a rapid pace than he could manage.

He could feel his muscles tensing more than he ever thought possible, the muscles in his abs tightening in anticipation. Sydney could sense the change in his behavior and knew that his climax was approaching. She moved down again so that their bodies were in complete contact and kissed him deeply for a few minutes, slowing him down and forcing his muscles relax temporarily. She all but stopped while she kissed him, he responding in kind, their tongues dueling and then gently caressing. His hand moved to her hair, running his fingers through the silky strands as she ran her hands through his as well. She gripped him deep inside her and then moved her hands to cup his face.

She looked down at him full of love, "It's gonna be ok…" she said quietly.

He smiled, tears in eyes, "Thank you," he choked out.

She smiled and moved down, gently kissing him. They kissed for a long time, gently, caressing, like they already consummated the act of love they were engaged in. Finally she broke away, breathless and started to move gently again, building him up.

She moved her hands behind his neck and pulled, "Come here…" she said softly.

He complied and sat up with her, the rise of his climax coming to the fore again as he felt himself slide deeper inside her. She responded by clamping herself down on him, eliciting more moans as his muscles tightened again in response.

She held onto the back of his neck with one hand and caressed his cheek with the other, encouraging him this time to climax. "Michael, it's gonna be ok…come honey…"

He closed his eyes, trying to engrain her words in his memory, but all thought seemed to stop. All he could think about was the gorgeous woman who had taken it upon herself to keep him sane. His balls tightened, the pressure becoming too great as she moved on him. She kept up her motions until she felt his first spurt, the muscles in his abs tightening and releasing along with his balls, then she clenched powerfully, holding him deep inside as he sent an enormous amount of seed inside her. She held him tightly through it all, while his body was wracked with shudders from the force of his climax. She smiled as she held him, her own orgasm coming soon after his, but not lasting as long. She had made him wait so long, it was only fitting then that his climax last as long. He finally started to slow, his breath catching as he came down. She smiled when he looked at her, his whole body moist and sweaty, the hair on his head slightly matted. He looked totally spent, his body on the verge of exhaustion. She smiled and eased him back, staying connected with him, careful to avoid his infected wound.

His breathing was slowing, which made her happy, because it was rather irregular after he came. He looked like he would fall asleep any second. He smiled up at her, reaching out his hand to move the hair away from her face.

"I love you Sydney," he said quietly.

"I love you too Vaughn," she echoed, "It's gonna be ok," she added as she caressed his face.

He nodded, "Don't leave me tonight, ok?" he said in a small, insecure voice.

She smiled, "I never do…and I wouldn't tonight…I'm right here…" she added kissing him gently as she ran her hand through his hair.

He smiled, "Thank you…"

"We'll take a nice hot bath in the morning ok?" she asked.

He nodded, but then looked rather scared, "With my mother here?"

"Vaughn, she practically told me to sleep with you when I met her in the hallway, she already knows what we're doing…"

"Oh. My. God." He said.

Sydney chuckled, "It's ok, your mom is kinda cool that way, don't worry about it…and seriously honey, not to be gross here or anything, but we're gonna need a bath, I'm gonna need a bath after…well…I made you wait an awful long time…"

"Thank you though, it was…great…doesn't really cover it, but it's all I've got at that moment," he said smiling.

She chuckled again, "Incoherency means I did my job well…as is evidenced by the amount of liquid that I–"

"Please Sydney…the walls are not that thick…"

She laughed, "You're safe honey," she said seriously.

"Thank you Sydney, really…"

"You're welcome…" she said smiling and kissing him softly, "Let's get some sleep now, ok?"

He nodded and yawned sleepily, "Yeah…good idea…"

She made a move to get the covers and he grabbed her arm, thinking she was moving off of him, "Don't Syd…please…"

She moved back immediately, moving one hand to his chest and the other to hold his face, "I'm not going anywhere…I told you…I'm just getting the covers…it's ok…"

He relaxed and smiled bashfully, "Sorry…I just…I…"

She smiled and put her finger to his lips, "Shh…I know…"

He nodded and then she moved to get the covers, and covered them as she laid her head on his chest. His arm moved to rest on her back, rubbing in slow circles. They both drifted off quickly, exhausted and sated, locked together in the sublime and divine union, two souls merged as one entity.