Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time and no infringement is intended.
Chapter One-Arrival
Killian directed her through town, past where her parent's loft was located and directed her to stop in front of a small white washed house with a white picket fence surrounding it. Bird Feeders hung from two of the trees in the front yard. "Where are we?"
Killian had already unbuckled his seatbelt and exited the car, hurrying around to open her door and holding out a hand to assist her. The instinctive gentlemanly gesture brought back memories of happier times. "Your parents' house. The loft was too small and held too many memories."
Swallowing hard at the painfully unexpected change Emma moved to the backseat and gently shook her son awake. "Killian, we're here. Time to meet your grandparents and uncle."
"Uncles."
Her head shot up. "What?"
Killian had opened the trunk and pulled out her two suitcases, his carry-on was already over his shoulder. "Your parents had a third child almost three years ago." He slammed the trunk closed and turned to face her. "You have not asked about any changes," he observed.
"I'm afraid to." She did not look up from where she was gently smoothing her youngest son's hair. "My memories are all I had left."
There was silence for a strained moment and Emma wondered if Killian was finally going to tell her off. She had more than given him the right to. He had been nothing but polite and distantly friendly since finding her. She found herself missing the gentle comfort of his presence even more when he was with her and closed off then during the long, lonely years of his absence from her life. "Hiding from the truth does not change its reality-only makes it more painful in the end."
Before she could reply the door to the house flew open. "Emma!" Her mother came flying out, pulling her into a tight hug. After a few minutes she pulled back reluctantly, still holding on to her, to look her up and down. "You look good."
Emma smiled, feeling tears in her eyes as she took in her mother. She had aged some and her hair had grown to reach her shoulders but she still radiated love and compassion. For a moment dark thoughts tried to enter but she pushed them away. Her parents loved her and she loved them. Everything else they could work through.
"Mommy."
At the small voice that had been her whole world for so long Emma whirled around. Her son was half hidden behind Killian's leg. The pirate's hand rested reassuringly on his namesake's shoulder, the sun creating highlights on their matching dark hair. Her usually shy son had taken to him remarkably quickly. Once again her heart clenched. This was a sight she wished she could have seen every day since Killian was born. Running, and letting her fear keep her from returning, had been the biggest mistake of her life. Moving forward she lifted him into her arms and turned to face her mom. As she turned she realized that her father had joined them. He was looking at her with love, longing and a hint of fear. Her self-loathing grew when she realized she had put it there. "Dad." Still holding Killian she hugged him tightly, feeling his hand go behind her head as he held her to him in the fatherly embrace she had not felt in too long. After a minute she pulled back. "Killian, I want you to meet your Grandpa and Grandma. " She took a deep breath. "Mom, Dad, this is my son, Killian." She was aware that both her parents shot looks at Killian over shoulder. Oh how she wished she could tell her parents their assumption was correct. Before she could say anything else a curt voice she had dreaded sounded behind her.
"Ms. Swan."
Swallowing hard she steeled herself before turning around to face Regina. She lowered Killian to the ground. "Why don't you go inside with your grandparents? I will be inside shortly."
He shrunk back against her legs, not answering. After a moment Killian stepped forward, extending a hand to her son. "I shall accompany you." Without hesitation her son took his outstretched and allowed himself to be led inside, surrounded by his grandparents.
"Ms. Swan."
At Regina's repeat of her name she looked away from her family. The former queen's glare was hard. "Before Henry gets here we need to have a little talk."
"I'm not here to interfere or try to take him away."
Regina snorted a quick laugh. "He is turning 18, your participation in his life at this point is his choice. He is going to college in a few months so taking him away is not an option. He is no longer a little boy but a young man." Her eyes locked with Emma's, there was no softness in that gaze, no compassion for her. "You broke his heart and came damn near to breaking his belief when you left. Killian found you at Henry's request-a request it was his right to make. I may not agree with it but I accept his decisions. I, however have a requirement of you. You are to tell him the complete truth."
Unsure what she meant Emma replied. "I would not lie to Henry."
"Not directly, but by omission. You will tell Henry up front what your plans are. If you plan to stay or leave and how long you intend to stay. If your plans change you let him know immediately. He deserves that from you."
Emma nodded, swallowing hard. "How is he?
Regina's smile was loving and proud. "A Young Man to be proud of. Tell Mary Margaret and David he is welcome to stay the night if he wishes." Without another word she turned on her heel and left.
As she turned to the house everything in Emma screamed for her to run. Run as far and as fast as she could. With another deep breath she squelched those instincts. It was past time to stop running. She had stopped once before and it had led to the happiest time of her life. Then her fears had risen up and she had allowed them to rule her and ruin it all. The door had been left ajar so she just walked in. Her parents were sitting on a loveseat with a dark haired toddler on her father's lap. Killian was seated on the chair closest to the loveseat with her son pressed up against his leg staring at the toddler. Not sure what to say or do Emma walked forward. "He is adorable."
David smiled. "Emma, this is your little brother Leo. Neal will come home with Henry."
Crouching down Emma reached out a hand to Leo, who grabbed her outstretched fingers. "Hi Leo." She held her other hand out to her son. "Killian, this is your uncle, Leo."
Taking her hand he moved closer, pressing into her side. "He is littler than me."
"That will give you someone to protect." She did not want to even think about trying to explain curses to a five year old.
Killian rose from his chair. "I should get going."
Emma resisted the urge to get up and ask him to stay. Mary Margaret did rise and walked him to the door. "Thank you for bringing her home."
"I only asked her to accompany me back per Henry's request. Let him know I am available if he wishes to talk." The door closed behind him and Emma was left alone with the family she had abandoned and the son she had not allowed them to know.
For a few minutes there was an awkward silence until Henry burst through the door. "Emma!"
Emma rose, unable to believe her eyes. Even though she knew, logically, that Henry had grown up it still took her by surprise that he was taller than her. His features had matured and while there were still traces of the boy he had been he had grown into a young man. And she had missed it all. Once again she berated herself for running away and even more for staying away once she knew she had made the wrong decision.
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Later that night Emma stood staring out the living room window at the quiet street of Storybrooke. The rest of the house had long since gone to bed but she was unable to sleep. Her meeting with Henry kept running through her mind. He had not hugged her, had in fact not gotten no closer than three feet. He had looked betrayed when introduced to Killian but had eagerly warmed up the small boy, much more so than to his mother. Their sole conversation had consisted of Henry asking why she had left. Her reply that she had fallen back into old habits and run but left him with his family had not been well received. When she had tried to apologize he had wanted to know why she had not returned or even called. Her answer of fear had sent him out of the house, after a quick request to be excused. It had been a politely worded request but no would clearly not have been accepted as an answer. Mary Margaret had opened her mouth as though to stop him but David's hand on her arm had caused her to remain still.
Now she was standing here alone at a window thinking about how badly she had screwed up her life. Soft footsteps followed by her mother's quiet voice approached her. "You should try to get some sleep."
"I can't. Too many memories, too many regrets."
"I'm here if you need to talk."
Wearily Emma leaned her forehead on the window, welcoming the coolness. "I wish I knew what to say."
For a moment Mary Margaret was silent. "Why don't you tell me about little Killian?"
"Kili," Emma interrupted. "He loves the character in the hobbit and with Killian here it will definitely cause less confusion."
In the window she could see Mary Margaret nod. "I was rather surprised Killian did not want to spend more time with him."
With all her heart Emma wished she could tell Mary Margaret she was correct in her thoughts. "Killian is not the father. We had not yet taken that step in our relationship when I left. I named Kili for the man I desperately wished was his father."
Backing up a few steps her mother sank down on the couch. "Tell me," she requested.
"I think I knew it was a mistake to leave as soon as I crossed the town line, but I had to prove something to myself. I had found a place in Chicago, New York and Boston held too many memories. I was so lonely though. I had got used to friends and family being around. I was still disappointed in you and Dad, upset about how easy it had been to slide into Darkness when I was supposed to be the Savior. I couldn't face the disappointment I would see from Henry and I could not face the agony I knew I had caused Killian. I was missing everyone, especially Killian and Henry, so bad I went to a bar. While there I struck up a conversation with a patron. He had dark hair, blue eyes, and a trace of a beard."
"A Killian look alike," Mary Margaret said.
Eyes on the floor Emma nodded. "Not as devilishly handsome of course," she smiled in memory. "And not able to read me. We got into a relationship and less than two months later I was pregnant." Her eyes closed in memory. "He left-said he did not want to be a father. Our relationship had just been casual anyways."
Tears filled Mary Margaret's eyes. "Oh, Emma."
"I almost came home but I was not ready to forgive and was not sure I could or should ask for forgiveness. I hurt Killian and did not want to add any more pain. A part of me was afraid he would turn me away and the other part was afraid he wouldn't. Or maybe he had decided being a hero only caused pain and returned to his old ways. After everything I had already put him through I could not put him through anymore."
"Emma-"
The tears she had held back for all those lonely years filled her eyes, a few escaping down her cheeks. "I was his happy ending, an ending he was desperately afraid would be taken from him because he was a villain. I assured him he was a hero now and was not going to lose me. We even survived my stint as the Dark One with our love intact." Wiping her eyes she turned back to the window. "I then took it from him for no reason other than old fears and betrayals."
"Emma, you had to do what was best for you."
Her disbelieving look was aimed at her mother through the reflection of the window. "It was not what was best for me. Or Killian. Or Henry. It was me running from my happily ever after." Taking a deep breath she pushed away from the window. "I had better get some sleep. I hope to talk to Henry tomorrow and maybe repair some of the damage I did to him."
