Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT and am only borrowing the characters
Chapter 6-Returning Home-Resolutions
Belle woke cuddled into Killian's arms with a throbbing headache. They had only just managed to get home and collapse into bed when the party ended. No one should wake up to this intense pounding unless they had drank too much the night before. She moaned slightly.
Killian held her close for a moment before rising. "I'll get you some aspirin and water. What time are you meeting Rumplestiltskin?"
"1130," she answered, forcing herself to sit up and take the medicine Killian handed her. She carefully laid back down. "I think most of this headache is tension. I really do not want to do this."
Sitting down beside her Killian used his good hand to gently massage her temples. "This is long overdue. You two have never truly sat down and talked."
"I know, but that is easier said than done. I'm glad Henry's party went so well last night."
Killian smiled. "I think he had a good time. And as much tension as it caused I think he was happy to have Emma and Rumplestiltskin there. It gave him a chance at closure and a new beginning no matter what happens from here." Reluctantly he rose. "I will keep the kids with me today. Call me if you need anything."
She reached out to take his hand. "Right now I just need your support."
His smile was not as bright as usual. "I will always be here for whatever you need." He cocked his head slightly to the side, listening. "Colin is up. You have a couple of more hours to rest before you need to get up."
When she woke up next the sun had moved. A quick glance at the clock let her know she still had plenty of time before the meeting. Pushing herself up she noticed Catie sitting in one of the armchairs, quietly reading through one of her books. "What are you doing here Catie?"
The little girl looked up. "I want to go with you today. Colin is going with Daddy and I think meeting with Kili so Daddy will be talking with Ms. Emma. You are going to talk to the Gold man so I will go with you." She pointed to the Storybook opened in her lap.
While the book did not include any stories from the Land Without Magic, at least that book-the original storybook-now was not the time to be talking about the stories. Her children were much too perceptive for four year olds. But then she and Killian could both be very observant and encouraged that talent in their children, especially Killian. Reaching over the bedside table she checked messages on her phone. Killian had left her a text that he would pick up Catie and take her if she wanted, but both kids had been insistent on this arrangement. Also that Ruby would be available to watch her during her meeting. "Okay, but I need you to stay with Aunt Ruby while I talk with Rumplestiltskin."
Making a face, Catie reluctantly nodded.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Rumplestiltskin was already at Granny's when she arrived. Without even thinking Belle sent Catie around to the back entrance after a quick text to Ruby. It bothered her that she felt the need to keep her daughter out of Rumple's vicinity. Or maybe not her daughter but Killian's daughter. She had to stop just outside the door to center herself. Her thoughts were divided about Rumple as they often had been since she found him attempting to crush Killian's heart in the clock tower. That was the one event that had really brought out her doubts about Rumple. She could still close her eyes and see Rumple standing there, all but laughing in triumph, Killian on one knee in front of him trying to quell his cries of agony as her husband squeezed the glowing read heart as Emma and Snow looked on in horror, frozen in place by her husband's magic. It was how red the heart was, with only a shading of black in the center that truly brought home the evil Rumplestiltskin was doing. Taking a deep breath she pulled herself back to the present. She and Killian had had several long talks about that episode for her to get beyond it and forgive herself for her willful blindness. She entered the diner.
Rumple jumped up to gesture her to be seated. She sat down on the bench opposite him, sitting in the center so he would need to remain seated across from her. "How have you been?"
The next few minutes were slightly uncomfortable. They had never been good at small talk. Finally Belle spoke, unable to think of a way to soften her question. "What do you want?"
Appearing surprised by the abrupt question Rumple replied after only a moment. "I want you. I want us to have a life together."
Not surprised by the answer Belle ducked her head. She had hoped that was not why he had returned. For a few minutes she just looked at him, thinking about being with Rumple again. She would have to give up her children. She could not trust Rumple to raise Killian Jones' children and she could not take Catie and Colin away from Killian, even if Rumple would accept them. And if she had more children with Rumple Catie and Colin would be treated as second hand citizens. She sighed. A part of her still loved Rumplestiltskin, he was her first love, and would like to try again but she could not imagine a life other than the one she and Killian had built with their children. "I am-"
She was cut off by Catie appearing next to her. "Mommy, can I have an ice cream sundae?"
Rumple was wearing a smile that was not quite sincere. "You have a lovely daughter." Suddenly his eyes narrowed and he looked closer. "You have the Pirate's child," he hissed.
Quickly Belle ushered her daughter back to the bed and breakfast portion. "Yes, you may, now stay with Ruby." Once she was gone Belle sat back down, her indecision fading.
"I had heard the rumors but did not believe them," Rumple went on when her attention returned to him. "But I did not credit they could be true. He tried to kill you!"
Belle refused to cower or deny her painful past with Killian. "He was different then. You knew we had struck up a friendship, you used it when you were looking for the Author."
"Friendship, not lovers," he quickly replied. "The Pirate had no more right to steal you than he did Milah."
The turn the conversation had taken had Belle seeing red. "I am not an object to be taken or stolen. What Killian and I are has nothing to do with you."
"Nothing to do with me?" he shot back. "You are my wife."
"Ex-wife," she hissed back, keeping her voice low and even. "You lied to me, you put power and revenge above me again and again and you used my friendship with Killian to deceive me." Not liking the anger she was feeling Belle forced herself to calm down. When she was calm she reached out and laid her hand over Rumple's clenched fist. "We loved each other Once Upon a Time, but I do not think that love has been True for a long time. You could not believe in it then and I do not believe in it now."
Rumple locked eyes with her, his hand now clinging to hers. "I never stopped loving you, wanting to return to you."
"But you did not, you did not even contact me." Slowly, sadly she shook her head. "You love a memory of me," she said. "Just as I will always love my memory of you. You were my first love and will always have a special place in my heart, but I am no longer in love with you." Only as she said it did Belle realize it was the complete truth. She had grown up in a Fairytale World with Happily Ever After and One True Love and a part of her had never released those deeply ingrained beliefs, despite the examples that surrounded her. "I am sorry, my place is no longer with you."
The former Dark One had been growing angrier and angrier as she spoke. "Your place is with the Pirate now?" he spit out.
Refusing to show any fear or back down Belle shook her head. She knew he was hurt and lashing out. With no magic and his oath in place she and her family were safe. "I do not know," she answered honestly, gently. "That is something we will have to figure out between us."
With a last glare he rose. "First he prevents me from talking to you at Henry's party, then he steals your love and forces his children on you. The Pirate is nothing but a black hearted menace."
Before Belle could argue with him he stormed off. Catie came running to her, hugging her tight. "I want Daddy."
Belle nodded a little shakily. "I want him too," she replied. Rumplestiltskin's anger had never been fully aimed at her before. She was thankful he no longer had the power of the Dark One. Even with the oath in place she and Catie would have been in danger. Now he had left with nothing more than a threat. "Did you finish your sundae?" she tried to turn to a more cheerful topic. At her daughter's nod she rose and extended her hand. "Let's go find Daddy and Colin."
They had just left the diner when she got a text from Killian asking if she was okay. She quickly replied that she and Catie were both fine and would see him at home shortly. With a quick thank you to Ruby she gathered her daughter up and headed home. It was past time she and Killian discussed what they were.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Feeling the protective barrier ping as Rumplestiltskin was removed from Storybrooke Killian paused in his conversation with Emma to text Belle. He did not relax until he received her answering text.
"Everything okay?" Emma asked.
She was seated beside Killian as they watched Kili and Colin chase each other around the play set. "Yes." He forced his attention to focus back to Emma after sending a text to Robin to check the barrier. He was glad it was Robin's week to cover Sunday. "You said you wanted to talk."
Looking at Kili happily playing with Colin she nodded. She had gotten no sleep the night before. After leaving the party she had laid awake in bed all night, thinking. Thinking about Henry's words, Killian's words and all she had learned over the past week. She had thought about how happy Kili was and had tried to see herself staying in Storybrooke. Her thoughts had spun in dizzying circles. "I spent all night thinking," she began, unsure where to go with her thoughts. "I only wound up more confused than I was before." She hesitated. "One thing was clear to me, no matter what I do I do not want to lose Storybrooke or the people in it again. I do not know if I could live here, but even if we go back to Chicago I intend to maintain the relationships."
Killian nodded, not sure what Emma wanted from him. She was still an open book to him in many ways but he was no longer sure what she needed from him or if he would be able to give it to her. "How can I help?"
Biting her lower lip Emma turned to him. "I still love you, Killian." She held up a hand to stop him from interrupting. She had to get through this before she chickened out. She knew openly talking of feelings, her feelings in particular, was out of character for her. But she had to do it if she was to make the right decision for her and Kili. And she was safe with Killian, her heart had always been safe with him. If only she had been able to trust in it before. "I should not have left, but no amount of wishing can change the fact that I did. Now I need to know where we stand now."
For a few minutes Killian said nothing, thinking, eyes watching the children. Nervously he scratched behind his ear. "Part of me still loves you, but I couldn't live in the past. I had to keep myself moving forward."
Looking down at her tightly clasped hands Emma nodded. "You moved on and I stayed put, frozen in my fears."
"No," he turned, laying his hand over hers and squeezing. "You may not have been able to move on in a new relationship but you did raise Kili and you have returned and are facing your family. You did continue to grow."
A car door slamming let her know Belle was home. Catie came running into the backyard and jumped into her father's lap, burying her head in his chest as she clung to him. "Mommy went inside," she said. "The Gold man was mean."
Emma rose. "I should go."
Killian looked up at her, still holding Catie close. "You do not need to."
"Yes," she smiled sadly, "I do." Reaching over she squeezed his shoulder, reluctantly acknowledging this was a kind of goodbye. "Our time is in the past. Kili and I are going to stay for the summer. I do not know if it will be a permanent move yet, but we are a part of this town and I will not forget that again. You need to talk to Belle, decide what you truly are to each other." Calling Kili she walked around to the front of the house.
As soon as she was gone Killian called Colin to him and after another quick hug and a quiet question where Catie said she was okay now that she was home he directed them to the playroom. When he did not see Belle on the couch he continued on to his room. If they both needed to talk they used the cushioned sun bed on his balcony. That way they could lay facing each other while also holding each other. As soon as he slipped in beside her Belle curled into his arms. "The kids?" she asked.
"In the playroom."
Belle nodded. "Is he gone?"
"It felt like the spell booted him. I was not sure it was strong enough to do that. Do you want to tell me about it?"
Still holding him tight Belle shrugged. "He was Rumple." She sighed. "He realized you fathered Catie and Colin and was not happy. He claimed you stole me away." She huffed angrily. "He treated me as nothing more than a possession. Sometimes I wonder if he ever loved me."
Gently Killian rubbed her back. "You know the truth, we have talked about it. Much as I dislike the man the Crocodile did, probably still does, love you as much as he is able."
Pulling back slightly she met his eyes. "One thing did become clear as we talked, I am no longer in love with him. I don't think I have been for a while but I never really thought about it. When I tried to imagine a life with him I could no longer see it." Gently she ran a hand through his hair. She swallowed hard, catching and holding his eyes, working up the courage to say what she had just realized. "As I was talking to him I discovered something else. Something I probably should have realized a long time ago." She stopped, taking a deep breath. "I realized I could not imagine a life without you, Colin and Catie, a life other than the one we have built." Her eyes filled with tears she did not bother to brush away. "I realized I love you." Killian did not reply, his face going completely blank. Belle almost laughed, her tenseness ebbing away. Captain Hook was seldom caught completely off-guard. She knew she should be upset by his lack of reaction, but found none. Even if he did not return her love he cared for her and her confession would not change their relationship, or not much. "Killi-"
He put a finger to her lips. "Give me a moment to process." His eyes closed for a minute before they opened to look back up at her. Those beautiful blue eyes that could tell her so much. "I never wanted to define what we are. I was just happy being together. If we were not in love or truly together I would not lose you or this life we have built." His smile was self-depreciating. "You and the Twins were content so I was happy to just let things be. Finding Emma, talking to her forced me to look at all the things I have been taking for granted." He took her hand from his hair and gently kissed her fingers. "I do love you, Belle. I do not want anyone or anything other than the life we have."
Feeling lighter than she had in a while Belle pulled him into a deep kiss. This would change nothing between them, but it would also change everything. Killian's arms pulled her closer, deepening the kiss and entangling their legs.
"Mommy! Daddy! Colin is-" Catie stopped mid-yell as she came barreling onto the balcony. "Eww, yucky, it's the middle of the day!"
Pulling away Belle dropped her head to Killian's shoulder a moment before reluctantly disentangling herself. "I'll go take care of this."
Killian was on his feet before she could even sit up. He dropped a quick kiss on her cheek. "Hold my place." Turning he grabbed Catie and tossed her lightly in the air, causing her to laugh. "Eww are we, yucky," he repeated, swinging his laughing daughter upside down.
"Roland says kissing is bed is a bedtime activity," she informed him in all seriousness as he righted her and carried her out of the room.
"Roland says-"Killian began before they walked out of hearing range.
Belle rolled to her back, staring out at the sea, smiling. Maybe this was not the Happily Ever After she had dreamed of as an impressionable young girl or a young woman in the throes of first love, but this life was more than enough for her. Life was not all about Happily Ever After but finding a place you were loved and a home where you belonged. This was all she needed.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
After leaving Killian Emma walked slowly back to her parent's house, Kili running ahead of her and then doubling back. It was nice not having to worry if her son ran in front of her. As they walked people they knew who were out for a Sunday stroll called out greetings. If she chose to leave she would miss this. Ruby's words about being glad she had stayed kept coming back to her. There were so many pluses to staying but there were also several things against staying as well.
Perhaps most important was Killian. Could she stay here and watch Killian begin a relationship with someone else? It already hurt to see him with Belle. But Kili was so happy here and seemed to have made fast friends with Colin, Catie and Mark. Could she really take him back to their lonely life in Chicago? Only now, after being in the presence of family and friends could she admit to herself how lonely their life had been. Here she had her family, her parents, her brothers, her oldest son. Even if Henry was going away to college he would be home for the holidays and summer. Here she could be a part of the town, a part of something. She had forgotten how good that felt.
Opening the door to her parent's house she watched Kili race to David to tell him about playing with Colin. Leo tripped over to her, holding out his favorite book for her to read to him. As she sat down on the couch and pulled him into her lap she wondered if she would even be able to make herself leave. Running had not been the answer. This was her home and she just had to accept it.
After the boys had gone to bed she sat with her mother at the kitchen table drinking hot chocolate with whip cream and cinnamon. "You have seemed pensive all night," Mary Margaret commented, a hint of nervousness in her voice.
"I've been thinking," she acknowledged, taking a sip of her drink. "I talked to work earlier and Kili and I are going to stay for the summer." She held up a hand. "I do not know if we will stay longer, but I promise, I will not leave without saying goodbye. I also do not want to lose contact."
Smiling weakly, Mary Margaret nodded and Emma could see the effort it was taking her to stay seated not to spook her. "What about Killian?"
Not able to meet her mother's eyes Emma shook her head, staring into her hot chocolate. "He and Belle are going to try being together." Unable to keep the sorrow out of her voice and face she smiled weakly at her mother. "I do not think they even realized how much they really care about each other until Rumplestiltskin and I forced them to face things."
"Oh, Emma, I'm so sorry." Rising Mary Margaret came around the table to hug her.
Emma let her. For the first time really accepting the love and affection of her family. The long years away had taught her that a family's love was not something to be squandered. She accepted the quiet support. "It hurts, but I am okay." She forced herself to meet Mary Margaret's eyes. "Killian never left me. I have been at a standstill since I left all those years ago. Here, I have finally found the will and ability to begin moving forward."
A/N: This is the last chapter except for the epilogue. I hope the ending did not upset too many people. This story was originally conceived as a Captain Swan story but as I wrote it the story changed and Storybrooke and the characters led me in a different direction. I really hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading, following, favoriting and the reviews. I would love to hear any and all thoughts on the story.
