Magnus looked up from the memorial marker that he'd made for Ragnor for the first time since he'd begun talking to Alec. He was still slightly unable to believe that he'd been telling Alec all of these things; Ragnor had been the only one who ever knew any of them. For several long moments, Alec remained silent, seemingly trying to find the right words. Before he began speaking, Alec reached over to take hold of Magnus's hand.

"It sounds like you were really lucky to have Ragnor," Alec said, his voice the kind of soft that Magnus knew it became when he was trying to comfort someone. Magnus worked to swallow the lump in his throat.

"'Lucky' is the understatement of the century, Alexander," Magnus replied, blinking through the tears that were threatening him. He'd brought Alec here for the first time today because the thought of being alone while visiting Ragnor's makeshift grave had been too much for him to bear. Not to mention the fact that it was very easy for Magnus to see that he needed to begin to tell Alec more of his past; he could see his lack of communication, and he had resolved to begin to open up more. Bringing Alec to visit Ragnor with him was likely the hardest thing he'd done so far in their relationship, but Magnus knew that it was the beginning.

"Ragnor has been my rock, Alec. He's been the one thing over four hundred years that kept me anchored no matter what." Magnus took a deep breath before continuing, trying his hardest to focus on the feeling of Alec's hand in his. "And now here he is," Magnus finished, staring at the grave before him. It was then that Magnus felt the tears begin to fall, and he quickly reached up to angrily wipe them away. He'd never so much as thought about crying in front of Alec before, and the fact that he was doing so now made him feel terribly weak.

Before long, Magnus found himself reaching up once more to forcefully wipe tears away, but this time, Alec reached over and took hold of both of his hands. "Stop it, Magnus. He was your brother. There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling right now, so don't try to keep from feeling it." Without thinking, Magnus leaned into Alec, closing his eyes and wishing everything to be one huge nightmare.

"Ragnor saved my life. So many times. And he taught me more than anyone could ever teach me," Magnus said, hearing the weakness in his own voice. "What am I supposed to do without him?" Magnus could sense Alec getting ready to answer, but something stopped him. Instead of opening his eyes, Magnus simply waited, unable to find the energy to figure out what was going on.

In just a few moments, Magnus heard a very familiar voice behind him. "Looks like we both have the same question, Bane," Raphael said. At this, Magnus did turn around, confused until he saw that it was a projection of Raphael and not Raphael himself. It seemed so out of character for Raphael to be speaking this way about anyone that Magnus couldn't help but look to him in question.

"You're not the only one who Ragnor helped; you're not the only one whose life Ragnor ever saved," he said, the usual bitterness and annoyance gone from his voice. Magnus was too shocked to be able to say anything at all, and Raphael clearly picked up on this. "I called the Institute and Isabelle told me that you were here. I wasn't going to bother you, but I wanted to visit Ragnor as well." Raphael looked down at his feet after saying this, and Magnus could tell just what this meant to Raphael.

Magnus turned back to the grave and leaned further into Alec while Raphael's projection came to sit beside of them. Before either of them could say anything else, Alec spoke up once more. "I have a question for the two of you," he said, and Magnus simply nodded. "I thought you said that Ragnor was constantly grumpy. But everything you just told me makes me think otherwise."

The only thing Magnus could do at that question was smile. He glanced over, surprised to see Raphael smiling as well. "He was always exceedingly kind," Magnus began, the mischief apparent in his voice. "That is, until I hit my midlife crisis and began causing him much more trouble than I was worth." He felt Alec chuckle beside of him and that only made him smile wider.

"I think your midlife crisis has been going on for quite some time, Magnus," Alec responded, and Magnus didn't need to look at him to know that he was smiling. Magnus nudged him playfully, but the suddenly stopped, gripped by the realization that he would never share a happy moment such as this with Ragnor again.

"I think that Ragnor was naturally kind to those who needed him," Magnus explained, trying hard to keep his feelings inside of him. "He was naturally grumpy, sure. But he knew when he was needed and he knew exactly what to do every single time someone needed him." Magnus had to stop talking for fear of coming to tears again. Alec seemed to sense this because he gave Magnus another squeeze.

Suddenly, Raphael gave a sharp laugh, one that sounded much more in pain than Magnus knew Raphael wanted it to sound. "I never thought I'd say this, but he was one of the best men I've ever met." At that, Raphael feel completely silent, eyes on the grave before him, and Magnus could tell by the way he held himself that he wouldn't be saying anything else.

Magnus closed his eyes once more, a vivid image of Ragnor helping him when he was young suddenly coming back to him. Magnus tried his hardest to get closer to Alec, but nothing seemed to help the now overwhelming flood of emotions. When Magnus opened his eyes, Raphael's projection was gone, but Ragnor's grave was all too present. "What am I going to do without him?" Magnus asked again, feeling as though he was losing more of his strength every second.

For several moments, Alec simply thought about this, and Magnus knew he was searching for the right words. "You're going to endure, Magnus, the same way you always have." Alec leaned over to kiss the top of Magnus's head, a gesture that only filled Magnus's eyes with more tears. "I may not be Ragnor, but I'm certainly here for you in the same way. You're terribly strong, Magnus. And Ragnor knew that. He wouldn't have spent so much time helping you if he didn't."

Magnus considered telling Alec that all the help he had needed over the years only made him weak, but he knew Alec would argue with him over this. "Magnus," he continued, his voice growing softer. "I know you're hurting; I'm not trying to invalidate that. But Ragnor can still be your rock even though he's gone. You know better than I do that Ragnor would want you to pick yourself up and keep going. Let his memory be the reason you do so."

The next thing Magnus knew, he was on his feet, walking away from Ragnor's grave. Alec quickly caught up with him, and Magnus was surprised when he didn't say a word. Before long, Magnus found that he'd run out of strength, but when he tried to stop and stand still, his knees gave way and he quickly found himself on the ground, Alec right beside of him.

"This is the hardest thing I've ever done, Alexander," he admitted, unable to think about anything other than all of the things he could have done, should have done, to save Ragnor. He closed his eyes as Alec wrapped his arms around him, trying, and failing, to focus on anything other than the hole in his chest.

"I may not have known Ragnor," Alec began, the hint of a smile evident in his voice. "But one thing I know is that he's still here with you. He's never going to leave you, Magnus, no matter how much of a headache you cause him. You can never truly lose a brother."

It took several moments, but Magnus finally realized how right Alec was. With that, he was on his feet once more, walking back toward Ragnor's grave. "You're right, Alexander," Magnus said, the resolve suddenly spread throughout his words. "Which is why I want to ask you something." When Alec nodded, Magnus continued, knowing that this was a step in the right direction. "I would like you to introduce me to Max. I'd like to possibly become the type of brother that Ragnor was, and I think you and Max just might be able to teach me how to do so."


Let me know your thoughts on this story! I've always wanted to write this, and I'm really happy that I've finally finished it!