Chapter 138: Retained in the Mind

"Remember, life is not what happens to you but what you make of what happens to you." – Anonymous

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." – Soren Kierkegaard

"Memory is the scribe of the soul." – Aristotle

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." – Anonymous

"There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted." - James Branch Cabell

"Every man's memory is his private literature." – Aldous Huxley


She held him in her arms until the crying slowly ebbed and then lay down with him, pulling him with her until she was spooning with him face-to-face. She intertwined their legs and made sure that he was supported enough so he didn't injure himself. She grabbed one of the unused pillows and made sure that his back was supported as well, just as a precaution so he wouldn't hurt his ribs rolling. She kept her left hand under him, holding him close to her and the other running trails down his cheek and face.

His eyes began to flutter slightly, the crying and emotion that came along with spilling his soul to her coupled with her methodic caresses taking its toll and making him extremely sleepy.

She smiled softly as he began to drift and then chuckled softly when he forced himself to stay awake.

"Sleep baby…I'm not going anywhere."

"I wanna stay awake…talk more…"

"About Barnett?" she asked gently.

"No…bout us…"

She smiled, "Take a nap, we'll talk after…ok?"

He yawned and nodded, accepting the fate of sleep and letting her lull him off into slumber.

She kept herself extremely close to him, she was sure he could feel her breath on his face because she could feel his. She thought about all that they had talked about today; enough to fill more than a few days, and he wanted to talk more. Maybe this was a new leaf for him. He'd been so distant and quiet with his emotional feelings lately, so bottled up…maybe his "break" with Barnett was just he push he needed.

She kept up her gentle caresses on his cheek, listening to his breathing and watching the rise and fall of his chest, feeling it as well, pressed up against hers. She didn't realize until a few minutes later that they were breathing in sync; on his exhale, she inhaled and vice-versa.

She thought about his promised proposal…and the reaction she had obtained when she told him that if he asked, she'd say yes. She hadn't seen him that happy in a long time; another priceless moment in their adventure together.

They'd had so many happy moments, and their share of unhappy ones, but at this moment, watching him sleep, watching his peaceful visage as she kept him from harm, she couldn't think of one of those unhappy moments.

She thought about their talk of children, imagining their son or daughter to carry this same innocent countenance as their father, that same slow smile, that same mischievous glint in the eyes. As much as she knew they had to wait until he was better and until they were ready, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of having a small, cute, huggable, little Vaughn running around. The larger version was great enough, but a little one – a part of both of them, well, that was just too good, almost surreal to think about at the moment.

She had no idea how long they'd been laying there, he was comfortable, and she was completely happy where she was, no complaints. She couldn't see the clock at the moment, but the sunlight had shifted it's direction as it spilled into their room, so she knew that it was at least late afternoon.

He shifted slightly, and she instinctively tightened her grip on him, making sure he stayed still enough that he didn't hurt himself.

She watched as his eyes blinked rapidly as he yawned again and slowly came out of sleep.

"Hi," she said quietly, her hand still tracing his cheek, playing with his sideburns.

"Hey," he replied with smile.

"You ok?"

"Yeah…I think so…" he yawned, "Did you sleep?"

She shook her head, "Nope…just watched you…"

He smiled, "Do I talk in my sleep?"

"Not today you didn't…"

"Do I normally?"

"Not really, not that I hear…"

"You do," he said with a smile.

"What do I say?" she asked.

"Don't frost the pie…"

She giggled, "Oh man…" she stopped giggling, "I didn't want to leave you…"

"I didn't want you to go…"

"It was even worse when I heard that you collapsed. You went to see my mother before that…what did you talk about?"

He smiled, "You mostly…she wanted to know about our relationship…"

"Really?" Sydney asked shocked.

"Yeah, she totally had us pegged…"

Sydney smiled, "Fooled…"

Vaughn smiled, "She's still your mom…"

"Let's not talk about her now…" Sydney said.

Vaughn smiled knowingly, "Ok."

"When you were sick," Sydney started, "I was so scared Vaughn…"

"I'm sorry…"

"No, it's ok…you just…you were so sick…and then when you crashed," Sydney shook her head, "I was so afraid I had lost you…but…well – nothing was worse than seeing you behind that door in Taipei…" Sydney said softly, "That is…until you were taken from me again…"

"You always find me…"

She smiled, "I don't like how I find you…the injection to the heart was enough Vaughn, I didn't need to find you worse off than that…"

"But you saved me…there was so much I wanted to say to you…you have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you that night."

"Yeah, I do," she admitted, taking advantage of their much changed situation to kiss him then.

"Wanna know what I hated?" he asked.

"Sure," she said seriously.

"When that ass tried to dance with you in the club before all that happened…"

She grinned, "You did get rather possessive…I liked it…"

He grinned back, "Good…cause that really pissed me off…"

Sydney smiled, "Will was insanely jealous you know…"

"Yeah, he asked me once, if every time you got a wrong number if you were meeting me…"

"He did?"

"Yeah…"

"What did you say?"

"Just that it was easy to set up a meet…"

"You're bad…"

"Hey – company line…he asked about that too," Vaughn said pointing to the picture frame that now held their picture in it.

"He did?" Sydney said with a grin.

"Yeah…he asked if it was a way to contact you – I told him it was gift," Vaughn smiled proudly.

Sydney had to giggle. Vaughn watched her dissolve into a fit of giggles, having to chuckle himself just from watching her.

"You're so bad…" she finally said when she caught her breath.

"Yeah…but I'm so good…" he added.

"That you are," she added with a kiss, "Always there for me…my ally – never question that…" Sydney said.

He smiled, "I was being honest…"

"I know."

"I remember that night you came in, it was raining, you were soaked…"

"And you asked me no questions…just held me until I stopped crying…then you gave me your jacket and called me a cab…" she smiled touching his face.

"Then I did a really good job of cheering you up in the morning with my great joke…"

Sydney started to giggle, "Yeah, even though I knew it already."

"Want another one?" he asked with childlike glee.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

"This guy has a truckload of penguins, and he needs to get them to the zoo…but his truck breaks down…so there he is, on the side of the road with 127 penguins. So this car pulls up, asks if he's having trouble. The guy explains he's got 127 penguins that have to get to the zoo. So the guy's like 'I'll take em to the zoo for you, you can wait for the tow truck.' So after debating, he says, ok, you can take the penguins to the zoo for me, thanks him and he drives off, 127 penguins stuffed in his car. So, the guy waits, gets the truck towed and when it's fixed, decides he better swing by the zoo to make sure the penguins got there. So he goes, looks around, no penguins. He goes outside, wondering what the hell he's gonna do now – he has no penguins, no way to contact this guy. All of a sudden he sees the guy walking down the street – 127 penguins in tow. He goes up to the guy – 'what are you doing – I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!' The guy looks at him and says, 'I did take them to the zoo…but I had extra money, so we went to the movies too…'"

Sydney groaned, "Oh Vaughn…that was possibly worse than the grasshopper joke…"

"Aw come on! That was a good one…"

"That was SO an Eric joke…"

"Well, yeah…" Vaughn admitted with a smile.

Sydney smiled, "Will told one like that when we were mini-golfing…when you gave me those tickets…"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah…"

"And you watched from your totally conspicuous perch by the fence…"

"You were so cute when you were golfing…I wanted to golf with you."

"I wanted you to golf too…we can now – when you're better…and I SO needed that after that wonderful mission with my parents – of course you saved me…so…" she leaned over and kissed him.

"I was so scared Sydney, when that necklace…relief doesn't begin to cover it when you called…"

She smiled, "I know…I'm sorry…we tend to do that to each other sometimes…"

"You were just so…normal…golfing…" he giggled, "Pigtails…"

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm not normal otherwise?"

"No, that's not what I mean. It was just nice to see you do something non-work related…and the pigtails were adorable"

"We've done plenty since then…non-work related" she said with a smile.

"Yes, yes we have…"

"Like for instance…Nice…"

"You were so mad at me before I asked you to dinner…"

"I know…well I had reason to! But…yeah, well…how could I resist when you turned on the Vaughn charm?"

"It was all Weiss' fault you know."

"What was?"

"The dinner, everything…he was all on a mission after he came back from the 'brink of death,' as he called it. He was insanely persistent about me telling you how I felt."

"So Weiss knew?"

"Oh yeah…he knew like day two I think."

Sydney chuckled, "Eric…"

"Yeah, he was insane…"

"That was the first time I was introduced to Boyscout."

"Yes, I remember…it's too bad we never got to finish that dinner…Rousseau's was beyond fantastic."

"Can you imagine how different that would have been if I wouldn't have changed?" she asked with a grin.

He laughed, "Yeah, that would have been interesting…you ever wonder what would have happened had we not been found out?"

"Of course…"

"Weiss was so happy, he even did this little dance…I must admit; I was ecstatic myself…"

"We both had the biggest shit-eating grins ever…"

"Yeah…it was nice…"

"I wanna see you play pool Vaughn."

He chuckled, "You do? Why?"

"Cause it's like the tattoo. I mean, you'd think that's the last thing…but then it fits, it makes so much sense…plus, it's just sexy," she said with a sexy smile to match.

"Pool is sexy?"

"Yes!" she paused, "I think you should have an open mind, Mr. Vaughn."

He chuckled.

"You SO wanted to get me into bed…"

"Well he did offer the room…it seemed silly not to accept it…"

"You're so bad…I won't even comment about that knife you had strapped to your leg…"

He raised an eyebrow, "What do you think would have happened if we would have made it to the room?"

She smiled, "I was all prepared…"

Vaughn looked over at her shocked, "You were?"

"Yes, I did have time to change you know…"

His mouth hung open. She snickered and closed it for him.

"What kind of preparation?" he said exasperatedly.

"Nice little lacy number…it was light green…"

"I'm actually SO glad I didn't know that at the time…" he said with a smile.

She smiled back, "So…what would you have done?"

"What do you mean?"

"If we'd have made it up to the room…"

He smiled, "You mean would that have been our first time?"

"Yeah…"

He thought for a moment, "Um…yeah…I think so…"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course," he said seriously.

"Remember when you asked me if I asked the owner to bring the key?"

"You didn't…"

She bit her lip sexily, "I did…when I went to the restroom; I talked to the owner…and asked him to bring a key…"

"Sydney!"

"Yeah, I know…I just wanted to test it out…see how you'd react…ya know?"

He smiled, "Wow…now I REALLY wish we'd have made it up to the room…"

She chuckled, "Me too baby…me too."

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her.