Chapter 154: Sources of Comfort
"I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from things that don't work out; that's when I've really learned." – Carol Burnett
"Sometimes things which at the moment may be perceived as obstacles – and actually have been obstacles, difficulties, or drawbacks – can in the long run result in some good end which would not have occurred if it had not been for the obstacle." – Steve Allen
"Lightness of touch and living in the moment are intertwined. Once cannot dance well unless one is completely in time with the music, not leaning back to the last step or pressing forward to the next one, but poised directly on the present step as it comes." – Anne Morrow Lindbergh
"He who has the why to live can bear with almost any how." – Friedrich Neitzsche
"Ugh…I'm so full…" he said, handing her the empty glass of orange juice.
She giggled, "Ok, you ate like a good boy, you can be done," she told him.
He smiled, "Are we gonna attempt the shower now?"
She returned the smile, "Yeah, let me get rid of this stuff, then we'll try it…ok?"
He nodded as she got up off the bed and took the tray back out to the kitchen, putting the dishes in the dishwasher quickly. The house was quiet, Francie and Will must have left for work, she thought.
She came back into the room, smiling at him, "Ok…ready?"
"Yup," he replied, reaching out for her.
She accepted his hand and helped him sit, then stand in front of her. She could tell he was sore, and stiff as well, it seemed his back was the most affected part of his body, which made sense, since they both landed on it. He let out a groan and his face contorted in what Sydney would only call agony, but he tried to hide it from her. She decided not to say anything and just get him to the shower. She threw his robe around him and they moved slowly, Sydney setting an unhurried pace, more deliberate that usual.
She sat him on the usual chair as she prepped the shower, turning it on and adjusting the temperature. She came back to him and took off the wrap and bandages on the front of his body and then moved to his back. She traced a long horizontal line that ran from one shoulder to the other, about an inch in height. "Oh Vaughn," she said, as he jerked away slightly.
She moved to the look at him, "Ok…see…that's why – no more…"
He looked up at her wildly, terror in his eyes, "No more sex?"
She smiled, cupping his cheek, "No…not that…no more dangerous sex…no more sex that hurts you…that's gonna be a bruise for awhile…" she said shaking her head and moving around to the back of him again.
She was scared when she started to take off the bandages. She left the infected one for last, like she usually did, and the other wounds seemed to be ok; there wasn't any more damage. She slowly peeled at the tape on the bandage that covered the infected wound, scrunching her eyes slightly to see if he was in any pain.
He pulled away again slightly, and Sydney stopped peeling. She tried to get a better look at the wound, but she couldn't really see anything.
"Vaughn…"
"Yeah?" he asked in a strained voice.
"I think it's stuck to the wound again…"
"Yeah…I know," he stated simply.
"Should I get it off or do you just want to see if it'll come off in the shower?"
"Mmm…is it gonna bleed if you do it now?"
"I'm not sure, it might…"
"Then let's wait."
"Ok," she agreed, disrobing and helping him stand to do the same. She walked him to the shower, and checked the temperature once more.
"Ok, I'll get in first…then you step in, ok?"
He nodded and waited patiently as she got in the shower. She reached for him again and tired to support as much of his weight as possible so he would have enough leverage to get into the shower.
She was surprised that he did so with relative ease, but he got a little shaky once both of his feet were in the stall. She latched onto him, stepping closer, so she was holding him up, and he could lean on her if he needed to.
She backed them closer to the showerhead, so that he was directly under the spray. The water hit his back with a light force, and he hissed slightly as it hit the infected wound through the bandage.
"You ok?"
"Yeah…just…water pressure on the wound," he said.
She moved them instantly, so that his back wasn't under the water.
"Mmm…no, it's ok Sydney…it just…hurt at first…really…it felt nice everywhere else…"
"You sure?" she asked.
"Mmmhmm…"
She nodded and moved him back, trying to maneuver him so that the spray his other parts of his back instead of the infected wound. His left arm lay listlessly by his side, his right corded around Sydney's waist, and his head had gradually fallen to rest on her shoulder. He sighed happily as the heat pounded on his back, Sydney's hand threaded through his hair, stopping to cradle his neck every once in a while. He had to force himself to stand back up.
"You ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, if I don't stand, I'm gonna fall asleep…that would be bad…"
She smirked, "Yeah, sleeping in the shower is not a good idea at this point…let's wash your hair ok?"
"Mmm…yeah…k," he said happily.
She smiled and grabbed the shampoo bottle, managing to support him and still get some shampoo out of the bottle. She replaced the bottle on its perch and ran the hand with the shampoo through his hair. She worked it all over his head; his eyes fell closed almost immediately, as she massaged her way through his hair. She gently eased him back, holding onto his neck with one hand while the other rid his hair of the soap.
When she finished, he was humming lowly, a blissful smile on his face.
She couldn't help but smile back at him, something so simple as a shower made him deliriously happy, but then she realized he hadn't been able to take a shower in a while, and you start to miss the little things…
He looked over at her, his face the epitome of contentedness, "That was nice…"
She grinned, "Well…let's make it nicer," she said, moving him back into the spray again and grabbing the bar of soap from the ledge. She lathered her hands and ran them over his chest, her fingers dancing lightly over his nipples, his pecs; the muscles flexing and relaxing under her touch.
His eyes fell closed again as she rubbed his shoulders from the front, washed his neck and sides gently. She turned him around slowly, and moved her hands tenderly over the wounds on his back, rubbing his shoulders from behind and bringing him back to lean against her for a moment, letting the water rinse away the soap from his chest. She eased his right arm over his head, washed under and around his arm before gently doing the same to the left arm. She fluttered kisses along his back as she moved him again to rinse under the spray, his head falling back again to rest on her shoulder. She pressed her lips against his temple, letting him relax for a minute before continuing on.
When she started again, she pushed him away from her, avoiding any place that would cause him pain. "We need to wash the rest of you…" she said softly, suggestively.
"Mmm…what are you gonna…wash?" he asked with a smile.
Steam wove its way like smoke up around the top of the shower, swirling above their heads as Sydney traced his abdomen with her hands. The steam was heavy, creating a gray, foggy, moist mist, keeping them in a surreal bubble, a warm sanctuary where that no one could invade. She took her hands away momentarily, grabbing the soap again and lathered her hands, reaching to stroke his cock with her soapy digits.
It took all of two strokes to get him hard; Sydney smiled proudly as she watched his length expand in more than one direction. Her other hand made its way below his cock, coating his balls with soapy residue. She rolled them between her fingers, the soap dripping off of him slowly.
She kept her one hand stroking his cock, while she bent slightly to wash over his ass and thighs.
She giggled, "If I let go of you…will you fall?" she asked.
"Mmm…probably, right now…yeah…" he said in a shaky voice.
She smiled, "Here…sit for a minute then…" she said maneuvering him to the shower ledge, sitting him down.
She looked at him, her eyes full of love as she started to wash the rest of his legs and feet.
He watched her, his eyes cloudy, and when she looked up, she swore they were the same color as the mist that was surrounding them.
"I'm gonna wash my hair, ok? You be alright sitting for a minute?" she asked.
"Yeah…"
She looked down at his state of arousal and moved down to kiss him, "When I'm done with my hair, we'll take care of that…"
He smiled up at her, "We should take care of you sometimes," he said, his smile faltering slightly as he looked down at the shower floor.
"No guilt Vaughn," she said firmly as she brought his chin up to look at her, "No guilt."
He attempted a smile, but she knew what she said didn't really have any effect.
She turned and grabbed the shampoo bottle, and drizzled a generous amount into her palm before starting to work it into her hair. She turned to face him, a lazy smile on his face.
"What?" she asked, dimples blaring.
"You're beautiful," he said softly, watching the water cascade over her body, the rivulets running in every direction. He found it fascinating to follow their path visually from the top of her shoulder, down the curve of her breast, some dropping off to the shower floor, others making their way sneakily under her breast to continue on down her body.
She smiled modestly as she witnessed his scrutiny.
"You know what I wish?" he asked quietly, barely audible over the sound of the shower.
"What?" she asked, rinsing her hair and moving to kneel in front of him, her hands on his thighs.
"I wish that sometimes…" he stopped.
"What honey?" she prodded.
"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if I wouldn't have been taken?" he asked.
She stopped, thinking, "Well…I guess…but not really…what do you mean."
He smirked at her completely different answers, "I just mean…what would we be like? Would we be talking about houses and kids? Designing our life?"
"Would we be this close?" she asked smiling.
"Yeah," he said, glad that she knew what he meant, but it seemed, she always did.
"Vaughn, before this happened to you…I was completely obsessed…obsessed with finding Sloane, capturing him…and then…it all changed…I had to focus on something else, and now, there are days that I never even think about him…not once…do you know what that's like for me? It's like I'm free from him…free from the hold he had over me…you did that…and while I hate that it was THIS that did it, I'm so happy that…well…" she fumbled, "I don't mean to say that I'm happy you were tortured, I just…I mean…"
He stopped her with a finger to her lips, "It's ok…I understand…and…I mean…I hate that I can't do things that I could before, I hate feeling the way I do sometimes, I hate that I can't pick you up and slam you against the wall and fuck you senseless right now…"
She giggled and he smiled before continuing, "But…I mean, I think…I think I'm a better person…this whole thing…it's made me think about what's important…"
"Exactly," Sydney echoed, "You help me set my priorities straight, made me back away and realize that work is not what's important…you are…we are…"
He smiled, "I wouldn't want to go back…would you?"
She shared his smile, "Absolutely not, I would never give up the chance we've had…what we have now…is so much better that what we had then, fuller, intimate." She traced his cheek, "I love you so much Vaughn…"
"I love you too…I don't know what I'd do without you…" he pulled her hand until she was standing between his legs, his head on her chest, her hand running soothingly through his hair.
She bent down and kissed him on the head, "So much…"
