Chapter 159: The Wenglish Penetration

"Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity." – Mignon McLaughlin

"Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time." – Unknown

"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken." – Unknown

"Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa." – Dorothy Parker

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute." – Unknown

"If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time." – Louise Sammons

"If it's not a headboard it's just not worth it." – Rachel on Friends, talking about people bumping their heads


Francie arrived last, apologizing profusely for her tardiness.

"No, it's ok Fran," Sydney said, "I think you have perfect timing, Kaia's just putting the finishing touches on the dinner."

"Oh good…" she said relieved. She looked around the living room, "Where's Will?"

Vaughn snickered, "I gave him a visual, he's hiding in your room."

"Oh…what did you tell him?" Francie asked intrigued.

"How we broke the chair," Vaughn stated factually.

Sydney and Vaughn started to giggle again and Francie burst out laughing. Tom and Kaia peeked out from the kitchen.

"Hi," Francie said when she noticed them. "Hi Tom, and you must be Kaia," she started to walk towards them, "I think we missed you last time…you were indisposed at the restaurant. You are the goddess who's taken kitchen duty tonight. Thank you, I worship the ground you walk on."

Kaia chuckled, "Well, in my family, you either cook or die…so…I've gotten accustomed to whipping things up rather quickly…really…it's like a capital crime if you can't cook."

Francie smiled, "I'm just gonna go clean up for dinner, check on the state of my poor, visually wounded boyfriend."

Kaia and Tom went back to final meal preparation.

"So," Tom asked, wrapping his arms around Kaia's waist and pressing his lips into her neck as she tossed the greens in the bowl, "Do you like Mike and Syd?"

She smiled as she felt his hands brush her bare skin as her shirt rode up in the front, "Yes, they're sweet and very good together…"

Tom smiled as he brought his chin to rest on her shoulder, "So are we…"

"Yes. We are. I like them. They compliment each other in every way. Well, from what I've seen anyway." She paused, "Wanna have a pool going on how long it takes them to get married too?"

"Mmm…what are the terms?"

Kaia smiled evilly, "I say they get married and move in together within 6 months after we get married. And if I win, you owe me 3 favors. Any 3 favors I want. And dinner and a massage."

Tom was about to answer when Kaia interrupted with, "Ooh, and new handcuffs…Cause the last pair…not sturdy enough."

Tom started to laugh, "Well if you had stopped when I begged you to, then I wouldn't have pulled so hard…"

"I just wanted to hold you…and punish you for that torture…"

Tom chuckled, his breath hot on Kaia's neck, making her shiver, "The feathers?"

"Yes…bastard…"

"What if I win?"

Kaia giggled, "If you win…I will give you any 3 favors you want…And dinner and a massage…and most definitely new handcuffs. You can have Mike get some CIA sanctioned ones when he goes back to work…or I could ask Sydney, we could discuss the best kinds…"

"Mmm…deal…how are we gonna seal this deal?" He thought a moment, "Syd said no sex in the kitchen…she didn't say no sex in the backyard…or garage…or front lawn…there's always the bathroom…"

"Bathroom…and fast…" Kaia breathed, pushing him down the hall. Tom snuck away, down the hall to the bathroom before Kaia announced she was 'getting ready for dinner' and followed him.

They both appeared several minutes later, Kaia's hair put back in place, and both sporting a rather evil pair of grins. "I borrowed your brush," Kaia said with a lip-biting smirk.

Sydney smiled back, but her eyebrows rose at her comment, "That's hopefully the ONLY thing you borrowed in there!"

Vaughn shook his head at the pair, "Dude…" he said with a short laugh.

Kaia looked at Tom with a sly and sated smile and pulled him by the hand back into the kitchen with her as she announced, "Dinner is ready."

Sydney called out, "Just put mine and Vaughn's on one plate…"

"Got it," Kaia called from the kitchen.

"Tom?" Sydney called.

He appeared seconds later, the salad bowl and bread in his hands. He set them down on the coffee table, "Yes?"

"Can you go tell Francie and Will that dinner is ready?"

"Sure," Tom said, walking off down the hall and knocking on the door gently, "Guys, dinner's ready."

"Ok," they both called. Francie followed with, "We'll be right there…"

Tom walked back to the kitchen and helped Kaia load the plates with lasagna and got wine ready as well. He stopped pouring suddenly, Kaia giving him a strange look, and he walked off to the living room.

"As your doctor," he started, looking down at Vaughn, "I'd advise against alcoholic consumption…but if you want a glass of wine, I'll forget that I'm your doctor for the time it takes you to drink it. But just one glass…"

Vaughn smiled at his friend's protectiveness, "You sound like Sydney…"

Sydney looked down at him as well, "Well, we both care about you…" She looked up at Tom, "I let him have one glass once before and he was ok, I think he'll be ok this time too…"

"You want a glass then?" Tom asked him.

"Yes," he said enthusiastically.

"Ok," Tom said walking back with a smile to the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Kaia asked him.

"Just…asking about alcohol…"

"Ah," she said.

"Just had to play doctor for a minute…be concerned about imbibing."

"I like it when you play doctor…you have a wonderful bedside manner…" Kaia said seductively.

"Thanks…I know you like it…"

She turned serious, "I meant that in both capacities baby, you're a really great doctor too…and you're great with Mike."

"Thanks," he said appreciatively. "I'm glad you think so…"

"I do," she said, leaning over and capturing his lips in a sensual and loving kiss.

Francie and Will emerged, giggling and looking happier than they both did when the got to the house. More correctly, Francie looked happier, Will looked…stoned…

Sydney smiled at them, "What's up with you two?"

"Mmm…nothing…" Francie said with a grin.

Will sat down on the chair and pulled Francie down on his lap. She giggled and elbowed him as she was caught completely off guard, "You ass…watch it boy."

Sydney looked over at the couple with a searching look, Vaughn was slightly more aware. He waited until Sydney looked down at him, "Francie made it all better…" he said.

"All better?"

"Our visual…our teasing…"

Sydney looked over at Will, "I'm sorry Duckie, we'll chill on all the teasing…"

Will smiled, an eyebrow rising, "Tease all you want," he said pulling his turtleneck down to reveal a rather large and very fresh hickey, "If that's what I get outta teasing, tease me! Tease me!"

Sydney laughed and her mouth hung slightly agape, "You…" she looked down at Vaughn, "We were the only ones not having sex tonight."

"Well…we did earlier…" Vaughn reminded her.

"Mmm…but that only half-counted. We'll have to make up for that later."

"Fine with me!" Vaughn said happily.

Sydney smiled and moved down to kiss him.

Kaia and Tom brought in the plates and wine, handing it out. Kaia smiled when she handed the one plate to Sydney.

Sydney accepted the plate with a smile and rested it on Vaughn's abdomen, "It ok sitting there?"

"It's fine," he said.

She smiled and got a bite of the lasagna on the fork for him. She watched as he took the bite and then looked up at her adoringly.

"This is really good," he said turning his attention to Kaia.

She smiled bashfully, "Thanks."

Sydney took a bite as well, "Mmm…really…Kaia, wow."

Francie looked over at her, "You hire out? Looking for a job? Cause you can work for me ANYTIME."

Kaia chuckled, "No…I've got enough work as a resident…but if I ever decide to change professions, I'll let you know."

Francie smiled, "Well noted."

Will and Tom both added their compliments, eliciting quite a redness from Kaia.

Halfway through the meal, Sydney said quietly, "You should take your pills," to Vaughn.

He nodded, "Ok."

"I'll get them," she said, starting to gently move him.

"Stay put, I'll get them," Tom said already getting up from his spot on the floor by the coffee table. He smiled as Sydney settled back down with Vaughn.

He came back a minute later with the bottles and a glass of milk.

"Thanks Tom," Sydney said sweetly.

Tom smiled in return and sat back down next to Kaia.

"That was so great Kaia," Sydney said.

Tom beamed, "That's my girl…"

Kaia smiled endearingly at him, "All yours baby."

Tom and Kaia started to gather plates and dinner remnants after a quick kiss.

Francie spoke up, "You guys don't have to clean up, you already made the meal."

"Exactly," Kaia said, "makers clean up."

She smiled as she and Tom headed off with the plates. They reemerged in the living room several minutes later.

"I think her grandma was really pissed I wasn't Italian…cause Barker…yeah…so is NOT Italian…I'm a Wenglish"

"Why? And WHAT?" Sydney asked smirking.

"Like that whole My Big Fat Greek Wedding Thing…" Kaia said with a smile and rolled her eyes, "Wenglish – he's Welsh and English…isn't he cute…"

Sydney giggled.

"Her grandma totally hit me cause I couldn't make – what the hell was it…"

"Manicotti sweetie…"

"Right, I'm like – I can make a cheeseburger…that's when she hit me."

Everyone burst out laughing.

"That was the WORST thing he could have said…a cheeseburger," she shook her head.

"Well, I was only trying to point out that I could, in fact, make something."

"At least you didn't say spaghetti-o's…cause actually, that would have been even worse than a cheeseburger…"

"I almost did," he admitted with a bashful smile.

"Thank GOD you didn't…but they've since come to love him as much as I do…once you've been hit by grandma, you're part of the family."

"They're really great people…"

"They are," Kaia agreed.

"Hey, Mike – you'll never guess who I saw the other day…"

"Who?"

"Bob Buckley…"