Summary: Felicity and Thea have a girls night in and Thea insists on playing kiss, marry, kill and won't take no for an answer.


Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Arrow or any of the characters, they all belong to the CW & DC.

A/N: All mistakes are mine and mine alone, Microsoft Word was my beta so please forgive any and all mistakes.


Kiss, Marry, Kill

"Fuck, marry, kill."

"No way Thea, I'm not playing."

"How about we make it kiss, marry, kill, instead."

"Still not playing."

"Come on Felicity, it'll be fun."

"Nope, not happening."

"Why not?"

"Because there's no way I can give you any kind of answer that won't get me into trouble."

"But Ollie isn't here."

"That's not the point."

"And it's only a game. It doesn't mean anything."

"You obviously don't know your brother as well as I do."

"I swear, I won't say a word to him."

"..."

"What?"

"Remember what happened the last time you promised to keep quiet?"

"That was an accident! I was drunk and... it just slipped out."

"Well the point is that Oliver found out."

"He couldn't have been that upset?"

"That's what you think. He stopped talking to me. You probably don't want to know what I had to do to make it up to him?"

"TMI! TMI! You're right, I don't."

"Well, at least it ended up being… fun, for both of us."

"Oh god. Felicity, please stop."

"Only if you stop nagging me about this silly game... which we're not playing."

"Please."

"One way or another Oliver will find out."

"No he won't."

"What if Oliver walks in while we're playing?"

"We'll hear him come in and we'll stop playing."

"We won't hear him, trust me. Your brother can be very sneaky."

"We'll lock the door."

"He has a key."

"But we'll hear him unlock the door."

"No we won't."

"Ugh. Ok then, we'll put something behind the door..."

"Nope. Not playing."

"Felicity, please. No one needs to know."

"I think we've already covered that you can't keep a secret."

"You promised we could do anything I wanted tonight when you invited me over. I wanna to play kiss, marry, kill."

"Fine. But I swear if Oliver finds out…"

"He won't. Let's start with bad guys."

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Ok you first. And you have to give a reason why you would kiss, marry or kill them."

"No way, you first."

"Okay. Go."

"Slade, Deadshot, and Sebastian Blood."

"Umm… I'd kiss Sebastian Blood because I can't kill both him and Slade, and marry deadshot because he's the only one out of the three that has a conscience. Now your turn. Ras, Malcolm, and Helena Bertinelli."

"..."

"Well… go on."

"Ugh, fine. I'd kill Ras because of what he put Oliver through, kiss Helena, and marry Malcolm so I can become wife of the Demon's Head, and your evil stepmother."

"This is so much fun! And FYI, I don't think you could pull off being an evil stepmother."

"Your turn. Isabel Rochev, Damien Dhark, and Danny Brickwell."

"You're making this hard. Can I just say I'd kill all three?"

"Nope. This is payback for making me play."

"Ahhhhh… I'd kiss Brickwell, kill Dhark and marry Isabel. And don't ask me to explain any of my answers. Choosing bad guys for this game was a bad idea, moving on to the good guys. Curtis, Nyssa and Detective Lance"

"Kiss Detective Lance... on the cheek, and not in a creepy 'I want to make out with you' way. Marry Curtis because that way both Oliver and I are married to gay people and that would make us even, and kill Nyssa because she still creeps me out and I don't trust her. Okay. Parker, Roy, and that DJ turned assassin you were seeing until he tried to kill you."

"His name was Chase. This one's easy. Kill Chase, technically he's already dead. Kiss Parker because he's cute and fun but I don't love him, and marry Roy. No need to explain that one. Ray, Oliver, John Constantine"

"No."

"You have to answer."

"There's no way I can answer that one without getting into all sorts of trouble."

"And you're going to answer because we're still playing."

"..."

"Waiting…"

"Fine. I would kiss Constantine because he's gorgeous, especially with that accent. And I'd marry Ray because I'm gonna to be single again once I kill Oliver for sneaking in and not letting us know that he's back. For how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to regret giving the ring to Malcolm. If I'd known you wanted to be Mrs. Ras Al Ghoul, I would've kept it."

"..."

"I think it's time I went home and left the two of you to work this out on your own. Bye guys."

Fin