Chapter 185: By My Side
"Fear secretes acids; but love and trust are sweet juices." – Henry Ward Beecher
"The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house as a guest, and then becomes a host, and then a master." – Kahlil Gibran
"To be in love Is to touch with a lighter hand. In yourself you stretch, you are well." – Gwendolyn Brooks
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart." – Helen Keller
"There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness." – Han Suyin
"Gentleness is the antidote for cruelty." – Phaedrus
He sighed heavily and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry…I just…"
"Don't apologize…we'll keep going – if at any time you feel uncomfortable, you tell me…and we'll stop, k?"
He nodded.
"Just remember, I'm here…you're safe…and there's nothing between us…just us…skin to skin – remember?"
Vaughn shuddered as her words from his nightmare began to echo again, "No…nonononononono…I can't…"
Sydney looked at him strangely as he started to squirm, desperate to get away. "Vaughn? Baby…what happened?"
"I can't…I can't…" he said, a chorus forming quickly as his breath escalated and his voice began to shake.
"Honey…" she realized it must have been something with the nightmare, "Vaughn…what…did that happen in your dream?"
He nodded wildly, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry Syd…I'm sorry…" a new chorus broke out, interspersed with the other.
"Sshhh…Vaughn…just relax…take it easy baby," she said in soft, soothing tones, trying to get him to calm down. She thought a moment, "C'mere…" she said, grabbing onto him and pulling him down with her to lie on the bed. She turned on her side and indicated that he should do the same.
He did as she asked, lying on his right side, facing Sydney.
"Listen," she started, keeping her voice calm and even, "We're just gonna lay here for a while…just relax…then we'll see what happens…right now, I just want you to calm down," she said running one hand over his chest and the other through his hair. "I know you're scared…but there's nothing to worry about…that dream wasn't real…and even though I know it seemed real, I didn't say that in the dream – not really – I said it to you…in love…ok?"
He nodded, listening intently, his eyes moist, his breathing still elevated.
"Whenever you get scared, or you just need to know I'm here…you look right here," Sydney told him, pointing to her eyes, "And then everything will be ok…"
He nodded, letting his eyes fall closed for a moment as he snuggled into her embrace, his head buried in her neck, just letting her hold him.
She kept a hand on the back of his neck, the other making broad strokes up and down his back. She could feel his breathing even out, the warm vapor spreading over her skin as he inhaled and exhaled.
Then, making sure to keep her movements calm and collected, she gently eased away from him.
He looked at her, and she smiled, "Remember," she said, kissing him gently, "Always look at my eyes…k?"
He nodded.
"Ok…" she said with a more pronounced smile, "Why don't we get back to this kissing thing we had going on…"
Vaughn smiled, "Yeah, I like that idea."
"Good…" Sydney moved closer, her mouth millimeters from his, their eyes locked and fixated on each other until the second their lips met. Then, all vision ceased as they lost themselves in each other, sparks flying before each of their closed eyes, as their passion ignited in those first gentle kisses. Sydney pushed her tongue past Vaughn's lips, running it over his teeth before it coiled with his.
She smiled in victory when she heard the first groan escape from deep in his chest. She broke the kiss to flutter kisses all over his face and neck, his head arching backward away from her as the sensations worked their way inevitably to his cock.
Sydney loved foreplay, and in a way, she was glad that they got to spend this much time just being together, kissing and touching intimately before they got into the more 'connected' ways of sexual union.
She eventually let her hands start to wander, rubbing his abs, flicking his nipples, sucking on his neck. He started to get more responsive, more moans and sighs, but he largely kept his actions to just kissing. He didn't move his hands, didn't attempt to touch her.
Sydney knew why, he was afraid he'd hurt her again, but he needed to know it was ok to touch her. She kept kissing him, but brought her hands to his and at first just coiled their hands together. Then she moved his right to her breast and his left to her hip. He started to flex his fingers, the one keeping a steady rhythm on her breast, his thumb joining in to tease her nipple, much to Sydney's liking, while his left kept a similar but slower, more tense rhythm.
Sydney let her hands begin to roam again, over his arms; making goose bumps rise and making him shiver in titillation. She progressed to his hands, kneading with him, before running her hands over his chest and neck again, attaching her mouth to his in a breathless kiss.
She stopped for a moment, just watching his face, a peace and calm that was not present last night slowly edging on his face. She moved her hands up to his face, running her fingers over his forehead and down his nose to the cleft of his chin. He opened his eyes and looked at her, her smile inviting and warm. She moved outward to his ears, tracing them and running a tickling finger around the back, making him chuckle. Once she left his ears, she ran her hand through his hair, and smiled once again, knowing that any other night; they'd be well on their way to climax by now. Taking it slow was more peaceful, more intimate and that was what they both needed tonight.
She let her hands drop to his shoulders, slowly and gently massaging, careful not to press too hard on his left shoulder, and she smiled as she raked her nails over his tattoo, making him groan and shiver again and watching as the pleasure and peace rolled over his features.
His hair was a mess by the time she was done with it, haphazardly sticking out every which way. She leaned over and kissed him again and then, saying quietly, "Vaughn…" she waited until his eyes opened and focused on hers.
"Keep looking at me now…" she said.
He kept his eyes trained on hers, brown and green locked, and as he felt her hands move around his back, down to caress and knead his ass, he knew why. She spent a few minutes letting him get comfortable to her touch below the waist, kissing him intermittently while she kept up her gentle caresses over his body.
She let her fingers slowly and carefully meander down to his thighs, making gentle and almost phantomlike touches to his skin. He shuddered in response to her actions, his erection becoming fully engorged. Sydney could feel it pressed between them, rising to full erectness in reaction to their lengthy foreplay.
She made sure he was looking at her and then slowly wrapped her hand around him. He let out a shocked, yet pleasurable hiss in response, his body getting slightly more tense than it had been.
"It's ok," Sydney reminded him, keeping eye contact, "Just feel…"
Vaughn nodded, and tried to relax, as he felt Sydney's fingers gently fondling his cock before she moved her hand down and gently rolled his balls between her fingers. Her touch never got insistent or rough, just a relaxing motion, and before long, he realized he was thrusting his hips in time with her movements. They shared a smile as Sydney acknowledged his awareness and she kissed him lightly, gripping his cock and starting to move faster, but not harder over his shaft. She let her thumb roll over the tip, spreading the moisture beads around the head and then moving to put gentle pressure on the spot right below the head.
Her other hand danced around his body, his chest, his face, his back; everywhere she could reach. Her tongue danced with his, their eyes only closing when the intensity of the kiss became too much to keep their eyes open.
His cock was straining, his body more than ready, but Sydney knew that he would not initiate anything unless she either told him it was ok or did it herself. She leaned back from the kisses, her hand still gently alternating between stroking and pulling on his shaft and massaging his balls. She smiled as she traced his face with her other hand and carefully put her right leg over his hip.
He just looked at her, slightly confused, questioning, and she answered softly, "Do you trust me?"
Vaughn smiled and answered instantly, "Yes…always…with my life…with everything…"
"Good…" she said, and after one more searing kiss, she moved his left hand to her center. "Feel me…" she said.
He looked at her unsurely, "Syd…I…"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"I trust you too…now feel me…it's ok…" she said, her hand cupping his cheek again.
He smiled nervously, and let her guide his hand. Feeling came more slowly to that hand, since it sustained more damage than the other, but there was no way he couldn't feel the wetness that was between Sydney's legs. It was literally overflowing; the second she placed one of his fingers inside her, most of the other digits were well coated as well. He groaned at her heat, her moisture, spilling out onto his hand. He moved them slowly, carefully, like she was glass, so fragile that he had to be especially cautious with her. She smiled, understanding his need to be gentle, being wary of hurting her, still insecure about the previous night's events.
He picked up a somewhat shaky and timid tempo, hindered also by the lack of dexterity in his still healing fingers. Sydney could have cared less; the feelings were still incredible, his thumb gently pressing against her clit, fire erupting and spreading outward at an alarming rate. She let him continue for a few more minutes, letting him get comfortable with touching her again, and then kissed him and moved his hand away, settling it back on her hip. He searched her face for an answer to why she moved his hand away, but she quickly answered it when he felt her hand wrap around his hard length again.
"I think it's just about time you get inside me…before this becomes a water bed."
He chuckled, but when she started to move closer to him, he got tense again, "Syd…I…"
She tilted his head up to look at her, "What did I tell you?"
"Look in your eyes…"
"Right…I love you Michael."
Vaughn sighed contentedly, "I love you Syd…"
He kept his eyes on hers, letting his head rest on the pillow and letting her slowly guide him to her wet core. When the tip of his cock met with the moisture, he instinctually thrust his hips forward, his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation, but then something hit him and he opened them again, looking fearfully at her again. She smiled softly and pressed her lips to his, "It's ok to thrust…" she said, knowing what he was thinking.
He nodded, but he let her resume control, fighting the urge to bury himself inside her. He let out a long moan as the head of his cock slipped just inside her core. Heat, wetness and comfort assaulted his senses as Sydney slowly helped him penetrate her. "Sydney…" her name rippled, the syllables drawn out as he sank into her fully.
Sydney let out her own groan, his name falling out of her mouth in a similar fashion as she felt him stretch her walls, his girth and length always making her accommodate him, making her walls pulse and throb in a sweet agony as they adjusted to him.
They started a rather clumsy thrusting pattern, the angles and positions of their bodies not allowing for a very deep penetration, but pleasing nonetheless. However, the more they moved, the more Sydney could see that it was difficult for Vaughn, the strange way their bodies had to contort to connect, taxing on his ribs and all his other injuries.
She knew he'd protest, but she also knew what they needed to do, what he needed to do. She cupped his cheek, "Michael…"
He looked at her, "Yeah?" he asked breathlessly.
"I think this position…is a little straining…we need to change…"
"Ok."
"And you need to be on top…"
