BETTER OFF ALONE CONTINUED
She couldn't even look at him. She had to give him credit, he was going above and beyond, he was really trying to make things right with her. But she was determined not to get herself back into the middle of a love triangle.
No, Lana figured that being an expectant mother in the middle of the end of the world was more than enough stress. She was getting off the rollercoaster ride between herself and Shane before it got any crazier. She was not going to raise their kid with a man who had one foot out the door. He obviously felt something for Lori that he couldn't get rid of, that he just couldn't shake and Lana was sick of not knowing where she stood.
He came up behind her, the group had just gotten back from a run. "I got you sumthin, darlin."
"Give it to her."
"Just look at it." Shane pleaded, turning her around to face him. The look in her eyes was killing him. He'd really fucked things up. There was hurt in her eyes now, distance and not kindness. Wariness instead of the trust she used to have when she looked at him. It killed him even more now than it had the other times they'd broken up.
He wanted to fix this.
He'd been thinking lately, he couldn't picture his life without her in it.
He didn't want to.
He grabbed hold of her hand and opened it, putting the necklace inside of it, closing her hand around the necklace. It was one she'd been eying in a store in town every time they'd walk past it after they both got off work and were going to the diner to grab a bite to eat.
For a split second, Lana looked at the necklace and at Shane. Then she sighed and shook her head, giving it back to him as she turned and walked away. "Leave me alone, okay? I cannot do this. I cannot keep coming back. You always say it'll change and then it doesn't. If it's not Lori it'll be another girl. There's always someone better with you, Shane Walsh. Always. I'm just a stop between better and best. I don't wanna be good enough to settle for. I wanna be somebody's best. I deserve to be somebody's best. And you were always mine… But..."
"But what?"
"Things change, okay? And watchin you with my sister kinda showed me just how little I mattered, okay? If I mattered at all… I mean my sister, Shane, you were sneaking around with my married older sister." Lana sighed quietly before walking away as quickly as possible.
She bumped into Daryl and bit her lower lip. "Sorry."
" 'Ts okay, princess." Daryl mumbled, the nickname making a smirk form on his lips. He only called her that because she was one of those high maintenance types before the whole world went to hell in a handbasket, one look at her designer shit and the fancy car and the way she acted sometimes and he could just tell. If the world weren't going to hell in a handbasket, their paths would obviously never cross… If they did, it would be because she was bored or something.
And he'd just decline and walk away then.
But since he'd become so painfully aware of her after finding himself thrown in with this group of people, he didn't know anymore…
"If he bothers ya, stop bein near him." Daryl stated calmly.
Lana gave an annoyed snort and mumbled quietly, "Easier said than done. He keeps poppin up. Keeps trying and saying all this stuff and doing all the things he shoulda done before and sometimes I just… It doesn't matter, okay? But the point is, Dixon, it's easier said than done."
"It ain't, actually. If ya see him comin, fuckin walk away."
She eyed him, she'd detected something in his voice, jealousy maybe? Or concern?, either way, it was enough to give her a little bit of a pause, enough to make her sort of look at him with this curious gleam in her light brown eyes.
"This shouldn't matter to you."
"I never said it did, princess."
"My name is Lana. Not princess, not barbie, not all those other names you and Merle keep callin me." Lana mumbled as she tried to fight the fact that oddly enough, her eyes were sort of drawn to his lips and the freckle nearby… And the green of his eyes…
'I'm blaming horomones. That's all this is. If this were normal circumstances this guy and me would never cross paths unless he was lookin for an easy mark because god knows I'm probably the easiest one around… I bought Shane Walsh's shit too many times to count and now.. Anyway, all this is is horomones and the fact that he's sort of tolerant of me and doesn't bother with the others. That's it. He's only tolerant of me because I'm pregnant and despite all outward actions and appearances, Daryl Dixon is a pretty decent man, hell, he's a good man.' she tried convincing herself all of the above. It had to be horomones.
"Whatever." Daryl muttered as he eyed her and wanted to punch himself in the face when his eyes found those plump pink lips, the almost caramel color of her eyes, the honeyed brownish blonde of her hair… The curves and the way her jeans and t shirt fit them like a glove. He coughed and mumbled something, he wasn't even sure what it was, honestly, and then he walked away.
Lana watched him walking off, shaking her head at herself. They were polar opposites. Not only would they never last, but they'd never consider each other an option under normal circumstances. "It's only because he's being so nice to me." she mumbled to herself as she flopped down in a chair next to Andrea and rested her head against the back of the chair.
"Feeling okay, girl?"
Lana gave Andrea a thumbs up and Andrea said casually, "Lori's real upset."
"Let her choke on it. Sisters don't..."
"Yeah, I told her that too… Promised I'd try to talk to you but that I wasn't a miracle worker. She's worried about your situation too..." Andrea ventured, Amy speaking up, "If I were in her shoes, Andrea, I'd be mad as hell too. Just let it go."
"Just trying to keep tension down, Amy."
"There's going to be tension no matter what." Lana spoke up quietly, opening her eyes to look at Amy and Andrea as she added, "I'm glad you both see it my way though. It means something to me. I know I'm not insane or over reacting."
"Shane really does love you, though."
"He doesn't. He thinks he does. He loves the idea of me. He loves that like a yo yo, he can wind me up and pull me back whenever he wants. And I'm sick of being a toy."
"So… Daryl talks to you?"
"Occasionally, yes." Lana told Amy who giggled a little. "He's not so bad… Little rough around the edges, but.."
"There's already over half a thousand reasons we wouldn't last either. I'm better off on my own, okay? Can we please talk about something else? Anything?"
"I miss coffee."
"I miss watching tv."
"I miss my vibrator." Carol muttered nearby, the group of them turning to look at her, Andrea high fiving her and laughing while nodding in agreement.
"Ever tried using the spin cycle of a washing machine?" Lana asked and eyes shifted to her. "All I'm saying is that maybe sex on a moving washing machine isn't such a bad thing."
"I do not want to know."
"That was too much about Shane. Too much."
"Oh honey… It wasn't Shane… No, this was a guy I knew in college. A guy I stupidly turned down a marriage proposal from because I loved Shane so much and I was convinced that we'd finally get it all together..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah."
Lori coughed from nearby and asked, "Can I talk to you, Lana?"
"Not in the mood."
"We really need to talk."
"You need to fuck off." Lana managed to say as she stood and brushed angrily past her older sister. "Go pretend to be a mother to your son or something. Just leave me the fuck alone. You have it all now. Or are you going to try and steal my baby when it's born too? Just let me have my little piece of him and leave me the fuck alone. Both of you."
"We're still sisters."
"Yeah, well… You can pick your nose, sister… Can't pick your family." Lana stopped and turned to tell her sister that before walking into the RV and sitting down, staring out the window and into the distance.
"I should have just left."
"It's not safe for you out there alone." Glenn spoke up from nearby.
"Yeah, well, I'd rather have compromised safety and total sanity than compromised sanity and total safety." Lana mumbled as Glenn moved to sit across from her. "Lori again, huh?"
"Both of them, dang it. I just want to let it all go. I don't want to talk about it, be reminded of it. I hate them both for making me feel this way. I hate myself for going back to Shane when I knew he'd only hurt me yet again."
"Maybe it was a mistake… He really… He loves you, okay? I mean he told me and Tyreese that earlier..."
"That man only loves what's best for the moment."
"If he doesn't love you, Lana, why's he planning to leave and get you away from here, from all this… Because he was trying to talk me and Tyreese into going too." Glenn asked as he looked at Lana.
"Because he's delusional. I'd die before I went somewhere with him now. I still love him with every breath in my body… Doesn't mean I'm stupid anymore." Lana sighed and shook her head.
Daryl walked into the RV and gave Glenn a raised brow before reaching over Lana's head, onto the shelf along the ceiling to grab more arrrows. "If yer feelin sick… There's this plant out in the woods… Reckon I could bring it back to ya."
"Only if you want to." Lana mumbled as she sipped a bottled water and tried not to focus on how close he was to her right then and the hell it played on her insane horomones today. Daryl stared at her a minute and then told Glenn, "Goin off ta hunt."
On his way past Merle, he stopped and told his brother, "Keep that asshole Walsh at a distance from 'er. Because the way he keeps messin around with her head ain't right."
"Yer sweet on 'er, reckon."
"I didn't say that. That guy 's an asshole."
"Ya really don't hafta say it, Daryl."
"I ain't sweet on 'er, god damn it."
"Bullshit."
Daryl rolled his eyes and stormed away, crossbow over his shoulder, grim set on his jaw. He was in a mood now. Hunting would put distance between him and her, it'd keep him from beating the piss out of Walsh, it'd stop him from not being able to look anywhere but at her whenever she was nearby or walked into a god damn room or tent he happened to be in.
Because he did not need that hand full of complications.
CAVEAT LECTOR:
Okay, so I just watched the entirety of The Walking Dead and the opening lines came to me in a dream the night before last. However, I was not expecting angst and drama to pour out when I sat down to actually let the idea come and form and everything. And I have no idea what to do with this next? I love Shane, by the way, so writing this with him cast in that light was hard for me to do, it's probably the hardest thing I've ever actually written.
I want two things from you guys out there… It's obviously set in Season 1 before Rick comes back. He will be coming back in another chapter or two. Right now it's mostly me just leading up to that... Should i have things sort of happen and see where it goes? I'm honestly torn between Shane or Daryl. I mean I think that things could be fixed between Shane and Lana... But Daryl could really open up earlier and things could be one hell of a lot more interesting in future chapters...
One, I want reviews if you think I should continue… And maybe in that review, you can cast a vote for Lana's potential pairing?
It's either Shane or Daryl for this. I have a path in mind for each guy, so at a certain point the story will go completely AU. I might be talked into considering Rick with a swaying enough reason, though... Anyway, another chapter for you guys. Reviews = love.
