Chapter 192: And So It Begins
"It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken from deep inside of me,
A secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I f I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
Chorus
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there would never be a past
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I f I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending i don't feel this place
Is so much simpler than change
Chorus" – "Easier to Run" – Linkin Park
"No possession is gratifying without a companion." – Seneca
"A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last." – Charlie Daniels
"Medicine is not only a science; it is also an art. It does not consist of compounding pills and plasters; it deals with the very processes of life, which must be understood before they may be guided." – Paracelsus
"Hey," Francie said as Sydney walked into the kitchen. She had all the burners on the stove going full blast, an enticing and delicious aroma filling the room.
Will sat on a stool by the counter, reading the sport section of the paper, "Hey Syd," he said, without looking up from his reading.
"Hi," she said to both of them. "What smells so good? You guys didn't eat yet?"
"It's the continental breakfast," Francie said with a smile, "And no, this is brunch…and we figured if the smell didn't wake you up, we'd just drop the plates on the bed."
Sydney chuckled, "I see…so this is brunch for the whole house then…"
Francie turned to her, "Isn't is always?" she asked with a strange look, "I said continental – that means all…"
Sydney smiled, "Ok…"
Francie turned back to the burners, "You wanna eat in there again or out here?"
"Vaughn can't eat out here today."
Francie turned again and Will looked at her for the first time over his paper, "Why not?" he asked.
"I doubt he can really move much at all…he's trying to cover it up, but Tom's on his way over – he's in a lot of pain today."
Will looked at Francie and then back to Sydney, "Cause of the night terror?"
"Yeah, and he's been putting a lot of stress on that shoulder, we've been really lax with the sling."
"He's in a lot of pain?" Will asked, but it sounded more like a statement.
Sydney nodded, "Yeah…"
"Is it bad?" Will asked.
Sydney smiled softly, "I think so…but like I said – he's trying to hide it."
"Does he remember?" Francie asked.
"No…not at all…he feels bad though…" she turned to Will, "Thank you…"
He smiled, "Anytime."
Francie turned around, "Are you ok? That was pretty scary…"
"Yeah, I'm ok…I know it was…I'd tell you more about it, but I think Vaughn and I have to figure it out first."
"That's fine…no…we were just worried," Francie said.
Will nodded and Francie went back to her meal silently.
"I'll get him dressed and stuff…" Sydney said turning around.
"We'll bring it in," Francie called after her. Once Sydney had walked into the bedroom and closed the door, she turned around to Will.
He put the paper down, "You think they're ok?"
"Well…she wasn't last night…but she seems to be now."
"Yeah…maybe she'll talk more later…."
Francie nodded and started to turn off the burners, "You wanna get the juice and stuff."
"Sure," Will said, getting off the stool and pouring the juice.
"What else can we do today? To help?" Francie asked.
"I don't know…movie idea is getting a little old, but like I said yesterday, unless you can physically go somewhere, options are really limited."
"Well, maybe we can go outside today…or games again?"
"I don't know, if he's in a lot of pain, he might not want to."
"Yeah," Francie said sighing, "That's gotta really suck."
"Yup," Will said turning and kissing her, helping her with the plates.
Sydney walked back to the bedroom and closed the door, "K, continental breakfast is on the way."
Vaughn chuckled, "Continental?"
"Yeah, Francie was making brunch already…let's get you dressed, ok?"
"Sure," Vaughn said with a yawn.
"You still tired?" she asked as she grabbed things for him to wear.
"Not really…just yawning…"
She turned and smiled at him, carefully helping him sit. She watched his reactions, trying to determine how much pain he was in, but it was fairly evident when she first started to pulling him up and he yelped loudly.
"Vaughn?" she asked, sitting on his legs immediately and supporting his upper body.
"Mmm…just…yeah…" he said, wincing, his face contorting into one of acute pain.
"Should we lay you down again?" she asked softly, running her hand over his stubbly cheek.
"Yeah," he said in a strained voice.
She lowered him slowly, gently easing him back onto the pillow, "Better?" she asked quietly after a few minutes.
"Mmmhmm…"
"Let's not worry about getting dressed right now, you just rest…I'm gonna get dressed real quick here…"
Vaughn let out a grunt of recognition and Sydney quickly dressed, throwing on the first clothes she found.
She came back to the bed then, sitting down next to him, "How you doing now?"
"Same," he said quietly.
"Tom will be here in just a little while," she said as she rubbed her hand up and down his chest, "What hurts honey?"
"Shoulder…ribs…chest too…"
"I'm sorry Vaughn…"
He looked over at her, "You didn't do anything."
"Well, I let you willfully hurt your shoulder more…"
He smiled, "That was like the best part…"
Sydney returned the smile, "You know that's not the way Tom's going to see it."
"Well, maybe he'll congratulate me first before he yells at me."
Sydney smiled softly and sighed.
"What?" he asked.
"Just…it seems every time you make progress, it changes on you."
"I'm sorry…"
"No, that's not the way I meant it. I don't mean it from my standpoint."
"Well, it's usually both – because like last night – it was you that dealt with it."
"We're in this together…"
Vaughn smiled, "You sure you're not tired of it?"
"No…"
"Even though you had a meltdown yesterday?"
"I think I just needed to do that…I'm refreshed…" she said with a sweet smile.
"Mmmhmm…" Vaughn said unconvinced.
"Look…from now on…I'll tell you…ok?"
"Yeah, I think you should."
They shared a soft smile before Will and Francie came in the room with the "continental breakfast."
"Hey guys," Francie said.
"Hi," both Sydney and Vaughn said.
Will handed Sydney a plate and Vaughn's pills and looked at the tired, pained form of Vaughn on the bed. He shared a soft smile with Sydney and sat down on the chair with Francie on his lap.
Sydney put the plate on the nightstand and tried to pull Vaughn up as gently as she could so he was at least sitting up enough to eat.
He sat painfully, and took the pills and then a few bites from Sydney before he shook his head, "I gotta lay down…" he said wincing.
Sydney helped him move immediately, helping him lay more comfortably.
She watched him struggle, the pain etched firmly on his face until he settled back into the bed and the pain lessened somewhat.
She looked down at him with a soft smile, "Sorry honey…"
He smiled, "It's ok…I wasn't that hungry anyway…you eat…" he said.
She nodded and had a few bites as well, but kept most of her attention on him.
Will and Francie ate quietly, glancing at Sydney and the man on the bed, regarding them both with worry and concern.
Vaughn's eyes fell closed as he tried to deal with the pain and regulate his breathing. Sydney ran her hand through his hair, knowing that it had at least a calming effect.
The doorbell rang and both Francie and Will got up.
"I'll get it," Will announced, as Francie followed him out, taking the plates out with her.
He opened the door, "Hey Tom."
"Hi Will…how're you?"
"I'm ok, come on in," Will said, stepping aside to let Tom in.
Tom smiled as he started to walk to the bedroom, "Hey Francie."
"Hi Tom," she said with a smile as both she and Will followed him to the bedroom.
Sydney looked over at Tom when he stepped into the room.
"Hey," he said softly, seeing that Vaughn's eyes were closed.
He opened them when he heard Tom's voice and smiled a small smile at him.
"Hi," Sydney said, moving to sit on the other side of Vaughn's form so that Tom could look at him.
"How ya doin'?" he asked.
Vaughn gave him a resigned and tired look.
"That good, huh?" he said with a smile, "Let's take a look…can you tell me what hurts?"
